THE ULTIMATE DATEI met you after work...5pm sharp. We loaded the car in self-conscious conversation. The drive was long and tedious, but I had your favorite music on the stereo. Soon the magic of the trip had taken hold, and the conversation became light. When we reached the beach the sun was just sinking beneath the waves. We walked and talked beside the sea. No interference from office politics, just the two of us on the beach. As the sun sank lower in the west, the ocean turned a deep purple. Rivalled only by the indigo of twilight sky. Back in our room we celebrated with champagne and strawberries and retired closer than we began the day. Next morning as the sun pulled moisture from the sea, we found our special place behind the dunes. The heat rose invisible waves from the sheer white sand. Quickly we stowed our gear behind the largest dune and headed for the water at a dead run. Even at such a pace, our feet were scorched by the burning sands. I was first into the water but you weren't far behind. As I broke the surface from my dive, you were gliding to a stop next to me. Laughingly I tackled you in the surf and we were carried back to shore by the surging waves. We played in the water until we became tired and then high-stepped back to our secluded dune. You flopped down onto your towel; I stared momentarily at your glistening body and collapsed into a heap next to you. You were lying on your stomach and asked if I would mind rubbing suntan oil on your back. At first I balked, but how could I refuse such a request. Your skin was cool to the touch, soft and smooth beneath my hands. Slowly, I traversed the contours of your body. Disconcerted, I put my mind back only on the task at hand. Gently, I pulled your long blonde hair away from your ears and bent to whisper in your exposed ear. CHAPTER TWO Thoughts of other things swept through my mind, but being the gentleman I am, I merely whisper that I am through. I slip away and leave you to your repose. The sun is still high enough to catch some rays so I do just that. Lying back in the calm between our dunes, the steady sound of the waves suffuses me with well being and I drift content in the feelings. How long we stayed so, I cannot say. But when I roused myself, the sun had sunk low to the horizon and the breeze was growing chill. You were sleeping so I covered you with a towel and started the fire. You awoke with it's merry popping and snapping. As you turned, you graced me with the smile of an angel. Framed by golden locks, your face is most beautiful in the fire-lit twilight. Taking the champagne from the cooler, I begin the ceremony of opening. When the cork pops, you start, then giggle at your own fright. Depositing a strawberry in each glass, I hand you yours with eyes full of dreamy delight. You accept with something moving behind your eyes, I know not what. As we sip our champagne, the stars come out one-by-one. We cry in awe and welcome as each new attendant to our private party shows itself. I stand and look out over the night sea, drawn by a Power greater than myself. You come and lean softly against me and I hold you close. After a time, you say you must take care of things. When you're gone, I wander to the ocean's edge. The water is warm and inviting, so I leave my trunks on the beach and dive freely into it's breakers. When I surface, I see that you have joined me and that you too have left your inhibitions on the sand. CHAPTER THREE I could see the white of your body standing out against the dark water as you approached. I didn't know quite how to act. Should I be cool? Should I pretend not to notice? That's out! How could I not notice someone so lovely? No. I'll just be normal. Normal? What's that?! Now you stop. Six feet still separates us, but I can feel the temperature rise around me. "I've never done this before, it feels great!" That was your exclamation before you went under. It was the old game of shark & victim---with a new twist added. To my great discomfort, the twist cast me, who was always the ever-confident shark, as the hapless victim. A role I had not much experience playing. And most assuredly not in these extenuating circumstances. Whereas up to now, I had felt safe in your company, I was beginning to feel out of my depth, as it were. When faced with such a dilemma, instinct takes over. A good defense is always a good offense. With this thought in mind, I dove. Now, we all know that salt stings the eyes. So I was blind, but you too were sight impaired. We were equally in the dark, so to speak. I waited until I was sure you had surfaced, then came up myself. I had a plan. You were twenty feet to my right with your back to me. I splashed. You turned, grinned a wicked grin and dove once more. Good, You played right into my hands and your intent was clear. I knew now that the only way to combat your strategy was to embarrass you before you could embarrass me. To this end I struck out for shore. Climbing out of the water on my stomach, I sprinted low to the first dune. Turning, I see you resurface. I flattened out on the banked sand and put all my military training into practice. You search in all directions and not seeing me, dive again. Safe, so far. I cover the distance between dunes in a flash. The air is cold, so I have to work fast. Grabbing my snorkel and mask, I'm off again to my covering mound. If only I can gain the water before you catch on. Looking down, I catch the glare of reflective tape from off my snorkel top. Shoot! Now what? It's a dead giveaway! Oh, well; can't do anything, now. Just have to chance it. You come up again just as I begin to go for the waves. Freeze! My mind screams; my body obeys. You are looking in to shore, now. Peering hard, right at me. I've blown it; the jig is up. Or is it? No, you turn away and swim along the beach away from me. Phew! Heart attack city! I desperately search for a way to get back to the water before I'm really caught. These thoughts race through my brain like the movements of a caged animal. When what to my wandering eyes does appear? A large piece of driftwood, and oh, so very near! Alright, so it wasn't Christmas, but that driftwood was definitely a gift. My salvation in the form of diversion. It was ideally suited to the purpose, also. Longish and heavy, if I could get this thing in the water, I was home free. If I couldn't, I was a plucked gander, if you know what I mean. It lay not four feet away, on the side of the dune farthest from you. I had to act fast if I was to win this contest. With the silence of a hunting cat, step-by-step, I crept closer. Two feet....one foot....nose to the wind....body to the ground....eyes riveted on your now appearing form. So little cover. So little time. So many risks; but it was now or never. I grabbed, heaved, and ducked in an almost simultaneous instant. The moon was almost directly overhead and to my advantage. The shadows being behind the dunes, I had cover still. My delivering driftwood, or my impending excuse for huddling naked behind a sand dune; hung in the air just above the wave tops turning over and over for what was to me more than eternity itself. Now, I'm sure that the reader is saying to themselves, "right." Certainly, they must be asking, "why in the world would it take a stupid piece of driftwood more than eternity to fly the fifteen feet between where he is to the water?" Well, my friend, I would like you to remember that question. Next time you're crouched clothes-less behind a dune on a North Carolina beach. Trying very hard not to be seen by a beautiful girl whom you don't know very well, who is trying very hard to see your ridiculously fishbelly-white body. Ask me that question again! Splash! Air rushed back into my lungs, startling me. I hadn't noticed that I wasn't breathing. A flash of moonlight caught my eye. It was your arm glistening as it broke water. You were moving toward the ripples you thought were me. Ha, ha! It worked! As I leapt from my hiding place, I watched you submerge. I knew you were on a course that to you must surely catch me unawares. But oh, no, Baby; you're the one to be caught! With all the speed I can muster, I am once again in the water. I don't bother to surface to clear my mask. The sound of breaking waves covers the clearing of my snorkel. One deep breath and I disappear into the murky depths.... CHAPTER FOUR Welcome once more to A&E........w-e-l-l ? As you know, our hero has just dove in. In search of our heroine under the murky depths.... It was dark underwater but I knew where to go. I was ready but I was not prepared for what greeted me there. I picked up your trail of ascending bubbles. You were diving yet again as I watched you fade from my field of vision. I followed slowly intending to catch you on the way up. But as you rose all thought of capture fled my mind. For there appearing to me in the dim light was the most wonderful feminine form I had yet laid eyes on. You looked like a mermaid of old. So overwhelmed was I that I forgot the simplest rule of diving with a snorkel: never, never breath in before blowing out! Coughing and spluttering, I broke the surface. If you hadn't drug me to shallow water where we could stand, I surely would have drowned. But, what a way to go! After I could speak, I whispered in marvel, "you're beautiful." You smiled shyly up at me, no longer the shark; just the girl. We stared long into each other's eyes, saying a million things without uttering a sound. You bobbed ever nearer and where flesh touched flesh, there was fire. Then you shivered and I recalled our state of "au natural." Embarrassed, I pulled away, but you pulled me back. "Hold me, please? I'm cold." you said, and laid your head on my chest. I was certain the pounding of my heart would bruise your face, so hard it seemed to me. I was rooted to the spot, not daring to start a friction I know I could not stop. I had to get back to the beach, the fire, and safety! I began to move toward shore, but you clung to me even tighter, saying "No. It's so cold and you're so warm." "I know! That's the problem." I said, struggling toward the beach. Once free of the waves, I sprinted for our place between the dunes. "You're rotten!!" You screamed, flailing after me. I kept my back turned until you had wrapped a towel around yourself and sat sullenly by the fire. "That was not very nice, you know," you grumped. "I know," I whispered, hiding the turmoil within me. I wandered slowly away to gaze across the mirror of the sea. Your footfalls alerted me to your coming, but I did not turn. Softly laying your hand on my arm, you ask "What's the matter?" Could I tell you? Would you understand? No, better to not start something I can't finish. "Nothing, just thinking," I lie. "What about?" you query. No answer. "Why did you run away from me?" There it was. The question I knew would come, but I couldn't answer. How to start? "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for things to go this far. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry." "Sorry? What for? For wanting me?" Now, almost angry, "No, you mean to tell me that you think that was all your idea? You mean to tell me that you thought for one instant you would have touched me if I hadn't wanted you to? Of course I wanted you to! Why else do you think I left my suit on the beach and went after you? Why else do you think I pulled you so tightly to me? I wanted to feel you! I wanted to give myself to you! And you wanted me to! So, why now, all of a sudden the cold feet? You said I was beautiful; did you mean it?" "Oh, yes; you are! You're so beautiful, you scare me! You scare me to death! Don't you see?! I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone. I want you so bad, my whole body's shakin'! I just cannot have you!! It would be breaking all the rules. Everything I have ever tried to stand for is on the line here. How can I make you understand? Annette, the sweetest thing I could ever imagine would be to have you now. To feel your warmth. To caress you tenderly until I could no longer. If ever I did, though, I could never, never stop! I would not be able to let you go again. I can not take that chance. I've been down that road before. I can't be hurt like that again, ever. My whole life would fall apart. The inevitability of your leaving me is way too great, now." I turn away, unable to find words adequate to express the pain and longing and joy and sadness all vying in my heart at this moment. What am I going to do? God, if ever you loved me, prove it now! What do I tell this woman? I can't even find words to tell myself. "How do I get myself into these things?" I wonder aloud? "I'm a nice guy. I always try to walk the straight & narrow. I never try to hurt anybody. So why is it I always find myself in this position? Do I ask for these things? No. So how come I'm losing my mind, right now? Jees! Look at me, I'm talking to myself." I turned toward you and in so doing, caught just the glimmer of a smile on your face. You tried to hide it with your hands, but there was no way to conceal the amusement so plainly evident in your eyes. You were actually giggling! I was indignant. "What's so funny?" "You are, silly." you retorted with obvious glee. "Oh?" said I with annoyance. "How so?" To that your reply was to crumple to the ground in gales of raucous laughter. Trying to control myself, I calmly asked "Would you mind telling me, please, what it is about my person that you find so all consumingly hilarious?"........... CHAPTER FIVE Fans, this story is getting too good to backtrack, so hang on. Hilarious..... Now I'm the angry one. "What's so damned funny!?" At my outburst, you try to compose yourself enough to answer; while I waited, impatiently fuming. "I'm...giggle, giggle...sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but..." trying to catch your now so short, of late, breath! "You're falling in love with me." Said so demurely, I had to ask you to repeat the answer. With more confused bluster than true anger, "What are you talking about? I don't even know what I'm doing, so how could you possibly know?" Of course, you were not rattled, but simply looked up at me with a look that said: "You know I'm right, so stop playing like it's not true!" What does one say to refute a face so full of confident assurance? I did the only thing possible for me to do. I pulled you to your feet and kissed you. Softly, slowly, with tenderness, at first. Then, picking up force like the waves so near, building, growing, surging forward until it breaks upon the sand in a spray of foam and fury. Thus, did I find myself lying upon my back; your trembling body atop me in the cold, dewy sand. "Stop, please?" I whisper against your oh, so achingly enticing ear. "I can't stop if we go much further, and you're much too important to me, to tempt what I know would happen." My mind screams out for you to continue. "Let this animal, straining against the chains of my own convention, go!" While my heart aches to be sure. "Don't blow it, E." it says, "I know how you want her butt, don't blow it!" To break this exquisitely dangerous spell, I ask "What now?" Your voice is husky in reply..."What do you want?" "Oh, Baby, you already know that!" "Then stop fighting; you're the only thing that stands between us." "Please don't put it that way. I tried to tell you why we mustn't let this happen! Is it so hard to understand?" Your grudging answer "No, but can't you just hold me?" ***************************************************************************** PART TWO CHAPTER ONE THE ADVENTURE ON THE BOAT Flowers! Flowers with satin ribbons everywhere! Flowers and faces. What are they all smiling at, and why do my cheeks feel like I've been hanging by the corners of my mouth for a month? Stop smiling, you idiot!! I can't! I can't! My teeth have grown and my lips won't stretch back over them anymore! Get hold of yourself. This is no big deal. Sure, no problem; I mean, let's look at this realistically. You are, after all, only getting married. Married! Oh Jees, is my hair straight? Are my pants zipped? Come on, Wad, give me a hand here, but if I open my mouth to tell you all this, everybody in this place will know how extremely nervous I am. Like they don't know? Stop wiping your hands on your pants, you're going to leave streaks. Oh, man! Oh, man! The music is starting! What am I supposed to do? Oh God, don't let my knees buckle? I promise never, never to laugh at another groom. Just don't let my knees buckle, please? There she is! Oh, God she looks like an angel! I can't believe she's really mine! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! How I hope you can read my eyes, now that you're so close. Your hands are trembling. So, I'm not the only one who's nervous. Oh, baby, you are so beautiful. Your face is shining so brightly, so very, very brightly. Your...face... "Aaaaahhhh!!" My free hand falls limply across my eyes, in a vain attempt to shut out the rising sun. Why do I let you talk me into these things? Because, it seemed like the thing to do at time. Oh well, at least you're comfortable. And why not? You've got your face buried in my shoulder. You can't even see the sun yet. Oh, stop grousing! You know you love sleeping on deck as much as she does. After all, you did start it, remember? Just when I get to the good part, you stir, recalling me from my sweet reverie. You start, and grab me tightly as you awake. "I'm so glad you're still here! Are we really married?!" I reassure you, if not a bit facetiously. "You've asked me that every day for a week and the answer is still the same. Yes. We are really married. In the eyes of both God and the State. And I thought I was the insecure one." With a look of sheer exasperated disgust, you grabbed hold of my pectoral protrusion, commonly known as a nipple, and twisted. Savagely intoning all the while: "You know very well what I meant!" "Oooouch! I scream and roll away, to no avail. You have the strongest fingers of any woman I know. My misfortune, I married a woman with an iron grip. After what you decide is a suitable amount of time....an interminable period of anguish for me....you let go. Then you rolled on top of me, kissed me shortly, and said, "I am so happy! I still feel like this is all a dream, and I'm just waiting to wake up. And when I do, I know you'll be gone." "Not a chance, Baby! Not now that I know what I know about you and sailboats." Just as we were about to reprise our "fete du accompli" of the night before, a voice: "I didn't think swells were the only things rockin' this boat last night." The latter said from the hatch, where stood my buddy, Vince. Your startled cry and frantic hurry to pull the sheets over your quickly reddening face draws gales of laughter from both Vince and myself. For which, I was again the recipient of your agonizing grip. Coupled this time with blows as well. "All right! All right! I'm sorry! I conceed." At which time, you stop hitting me and notice that in your frenzy you have pulled the sheet up to expose your thighs. "Go away, please, Vince!" you yell into my unguarded ear. "Sure, anything you say. Breakfast in twenty." he calls, retreating back into the cabin. Still chuckling and shaking his head. As we help each other up, a muffled "Newlyweds!" reaches our ears from the galley. I laughingly comment "That was pretty funny." "Not to me!" you growl. Before you can sermonize to me about the evils of having another man aboard your honeymoon cruise, yet again, I suggest a swim. "Now? Like this?" You are incredulous. "You didn't seem to mind before." I remind you. "That was in the dark. This is in broad daylight!" you affirm. "Oh honey, there isn't a soul around for a hundred miles" I coax. "What about Vince?" pointing to the cabin below. "He's cooking breakfast. And besides, you'll be in the water, what's to see?" "In this water, he could count my goose bumps from thirty yards out!" said with deliberateness and just a touch of the irate shrew. "Suit yourself." And over the side I go. Knowing full well you would not let me have half the satisfaction of winning an argument by simply diving into the crystal azure waters of the cove. Also bearing in mind, that once you had followed me into the water there would no longer be anything to argue about. We frolicked and splashed in the warm blue water like the children we still were. Swimming this way and that, marveling at the things we found on the bottom, playing on the surface until Vince reappeared. Naked foot upon the rail, he shouted "You two gonna eat or what?" "Be in in a sec, man." I shouted back. When from behind my left ear, where you had hidden yourself, there thundered a resounding "Go away, please, Vince!" This pleased me none too well. Being as how it made the state of deafness in both my ears, almost equal. "I wish you'd stop doing that!" I squalled, as I valiantly tried to stop the ringing in my abused ears. "Would you rather he see what only you should see?" you countered. "No! But I would like to be able to hear when our honeymoon is over. Thank you!" With this exchange we made our way to the ladder at the keel of Vince's boat. Once aboard, we found our towels and clothes in two neat stacks on the benches lining the hull. With proper chagrin, you smile up at me and say "He really is a sweetheart!" I merely roll my eyes in wonder at the thought processes of a female. When we had dried ourselves and dressed, an activity that must have sounded to poor Vince, much like children playing in Mother's wardrobe, you called out "You can come up, now, Vince, and thank you." Said, I might add, from a reasonable distance this time. I kissed you heartily for it. Mr. B., then coming into view laden with trays from the galley, plaintively asked "Why do I get the feeling you don't want me around much?" While you try to stammer out a reply, I, having seen the smile behind the glasses, reply for you "Ah, you know women, she's just being finicky." If looks could kill, I would have, at that moment, found myself lying in the deepest depths of Davy Jones' locker. However, God, being the most benevolent God that He is, chose to spare me. I, for my part, flashed you my most dazzlingly brilliant smile. And quipped "But you know I love you, Baby." To this, Vince's reaction was to fall onto the bench in a fit of hysterics. Of course, after having previously laid the dishes on the cleared chart table. But, to no one's surprise, you weren't buying that line. "I don't know why I ever married him. Anyone can see that he's nothing but an overbearing, arrogant, conceited, egotistical, jerk!!" Softening, "But I do so love him." After so saying, you brushed your hand tenderly against my cheek and gazed down into my adoring eyes. "Making up is so much fun!" I say and pull you down next to me. This was too much for my friend Vince, for his next words were: " Would you guys quit, already? I feel like I'm trapped in a two-bit romance novel!" Never one to offend, I shot back "You're just jealous!" Then proceeded to kiss you noisily about the neck and shoulders. At which you squealed and delivered a shower of harmless blows to my shoulders. Once again displaced, but never really, Vince grumbles "Well, you can have that, if you want; I'm eating real food for breakfast." Having so said, he fell to with great relish. The girl's name is Annette; my name is Ed Oster. I only ask that you keep my name with this story and if you have any comments, please send them to me: Ed Oster Box 5537 Warren Wilson Rd. Swannanoa, NC 28778 |