The collection anecdote's 2THIS IS A LIST OF THE LATEST BYU JOKES WRITTEN IN 40/80 COLLUMN FORMAT. THISLIST HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE RUNNING UTE AND FRIENDS. IF YOU FOR SOME REASON LIKE BYU, THEN I SUGGEST THAT YOU CHANGE THE NAME TO THE SCHOOL THAT YOU DESIRE. WELL HAVE FUN!!! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ Q: Did you hear about the driver who swerved to avoid hitting a BYU coed? A: He ran out of gas. Q: What's a BYU coed's favorite exercise? A: Jogging to the refrigerator. Q: What did the BYU coed say when her boyfriend blew in her ear? A: Thanks for the refill, honey. Q: Why did San Francisco get all the lesbians and Provo get all the BYU coeds? A: San Francisco had first choice. S: A BYU coed bragged, "I can marry anyone I please." "Why don't you, then," her friend asked. "I don't please anybody," she admitted. Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and an elephant? A: About five pounds. Q: How do you make up the difference? A: Force feed the elephant. Q: How does a BYU coed spell FARM? A: E-I-E-I-O. S: A BYU coed was walking down University Avenue with a pig under her arm. She met a girlfriend who asked "Where did you get the pig?" And the pig answered, "I won her in a raffle." Q: Did you hear about the new BYU coed doll they're selling in the bookstore? A: Put a ring on its finger and its hips expand. Q: What do you give a hungry BYU coed? A: Anything she wants. S: A BYU coed got embarrassed at a masquerade ball. At midnight, when the hostess asked all the guests to remove their masks, the coed cried, "I don't have one on!" Q: What's the most important thing in a BYU coed's makeup kit? A: A paint roller. Q: What is the difference between a BYU coed and a Ferarri? A: Not everyone has been in a Ferarri. Q: Why do they call BYU coeds "Amazon"? A: Because they are wide at the mouth. Q: How do you get a BYU coed into an elevator? A: Grease her hips and throw a Twinkie in the elevator. Q: What do you call a good-looking girl on the BYU campus? A: A visitor. S: A BYU coed was watching a tennis match when a BYU guy walked by and asked, "Whose game?" "I am," she said. Q: Did you hear about the BYU coed who baked a sponge cake for her boyfriend? A: She used the wrong kind of sponges. S: Two BYU coeds were studying astronomy together. "What's a comet?" asked one. "I think it's a star with a tail," her friend answered. "Ho, I see, like Benji?" Q: Why did the BYU coed flunk her history test? A: "They kept asking questions about things that happened years and years before I was born." S: A BYU coed ordered 48 hamburgers at a drive-in restaurant. "Are they all for you?" asked the waitress. "No, two of my roommates are in the car with me." Q: What's prairie dog? A: A BYU coed from Kansas. S: BYU coeds are so modest they pull the curtains before changing their minds. Q: What is the best thing to come out of BYU? A: 1230 North. Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a freezer? A: About five degrees. Q: Why is a freezer better? A: You can defrost it. S: Never criticize a BYU coed's figure. She might hold it against you. Q: Why did it take the BYU coed so long to cook the turkey? A: The recipe said to cook it for 30 minutes per pound and she weighed 150. Q: What's the differnce between a BYU coed and a police car? A: It takes two police cars to create a roadblock. S: Some girls are ugly, but BYU coeds are the exception. BYU coeds are exceptionally ugly. Q: How are BYU coeds like paint? A: Get them all stirred up and you can't get them off your hands. S: A BYU coed went to the health center. "I have a cold in my head," she told the nurse. "Well, that's better than nothing," the nurse replied. Q: Did you hear about the truckload of pigs that got loose on the BYU campus? A: They had to check I.D.s to reload the truck. Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a refrigerator? A: The coed can hold more food. Q: Why do BYU coeds like to be alone? A: Because two's a crowd. Q: What is the thinnest part of a BYU coed? A: The hair on her palms. S: Did you hear about the carload of BYU coeds who froze to death at the drive-in movie? They went to see the movie, "Closed for winter." Q: Why did they have to enlarge BYU's stadium? A: So more coeds could sit in the stands. Q: Did you hear about the engaged BYU coed who stayed up all night studying for her blood test? S: BYU coeds can be had for a song-- "The Wedding March." S: There's one good thing about a BYU coed's body--it isn't as ugly as her face. Q: What's 36-24-32? A: A BYU coed's leg. S: It takes at least three BYU coeds to play hid-n-seek. One goes to hide and the other two try to figure out who left. Q: How do you tell a smart BYU coed? A: Her lips don't move when she reads to herself. S: One BYU coed put on a clean pair of socks every day. By the end of the week she couldn't get her shoes on. S: BYU coeds have that far-away look. The farther away they get, the better they look. Q: How did the BYU coed get rid of her freckles? A: She washed her mirror. Q: Did you hear about the lucky BYU coed who had a date every Friday night last semester? A: She kept them in her refrigerator so they'd stay fresh all semester long. Q: How is a BYU coed like Ms. Pac-Man? A: They both eat everything in sight. Q: Why did BYU Security raid a candle-passing in the girl's dorm? A: They thought they were breaking up a dope ring. Q: What's a BYU coed's favorite dress shop? A: Acme Tent & Awning. Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a rooster? A: Roosters say "cockadoodledo" but BYU coeds say "any dude'll do." Q: Why didn't the BYU coed use her water skis? A: She couldn't find a lake on a hill. S: Some BYU coeds would make great fullbacks. Expecially the ones with the license plates on their charm bracelets. S: A BYU coed asked a store clerk, "Can I put this wallpaper on myself?" "Yes, but it will look better on the wall," he said. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of BYU coeds? A: The Bay of Pigs. S: There are two kinds of BYU coeds--good-looking ones and sweet spirits. Q: Did you hear about the BYU coeds who were stuck on the escalator at University Mall for two housr during a power outage? Q: What has an I.Q. of 144? A: Twelve BYU coeds. S: A BYU coed missed this question on her religion test: "Where was Solomon's temple?" She answered, "On the side of his head." S: Someone once asked a BYU coed, "Are all girls as stupid as you are?" She answered, "No. Look how many single girls there are at BYU." S: A BYU guy approached a BYU coed with this old line, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" She replied, "Yes. I have been somewhere before." Q: What's the difference between a BYU coed and a palm tree? A: A palm tree has dates. Q: How do you get a BYU coed to go off her diet? A: Open a Twinkie within two miles of Provo. Q: What's worse than being a BYU coed? A: Being behind one in a cafeteria line. S: If a BYU coed ever said what she thought she'd be speechless. Q: How do you get 100 BYU coeds into a Volkswagen? A: Toss in a diamond ring. Q: How does a guy get them out again? A: Tell the BYU coeds he's a non-member. Q: Why do BYU coeds wear stripes? A: So you can tell if they're standing up or lying down. Q: Why do BYU coeds have such a terrible time in the morning? A: They're so fat they rock themselves to sleep trying to get up. Q: What happens when a BYU coed walks into a room? A: The mice jump up on chairs. Q: What's the thinnest book in the BYU library? A: "BYU's Beauty Queens." Q: What do you get when you cross a BYU coed with a pig? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do. S: "Do you remember when you were born?" a friend asked a BYU coed. "No, I was too young." Q: What's BYU's answer to self-control on a date? A: Take the sack off th |