Сборники Художественной, Технической, Справочной, Английской, Нормативной, Исторической, и др. литературы.

                            UNCLE RHINO'S SHORTS

                                Version 1.02

              A collection of short works by the Rabid Rhino.

             This program contains ample amounts of a certain
         property that may affect you personally.  Silliness.  I
         confess, I did it on purpose.

             What you are about to read is very important.  I
         really didn't want to tell you but, in all fairness, I
         felt I had to.  Please do not be disappointed.  Sit back a
         moment, take a deep breath and relax.


                          TO ALL PERSONAL COMPUTER

             As anybody knows, a publicly distributed disk without
         a README.1ST file is practically unheard of.  To publish a
         disk without such a file would be an affront to every
         computer buff worthy of his/her floppy drive.  Firing up a
         new disk without some sort of READ.ME, README.1ST, or
         README.TXT file would, at the very least, make the
         experienced computer user feel quite uncomfortable.  This
         is the very reason that I have included this file.  To
         help you feel a little more normal.  Otherwise this file
         is totally useless.
             Furthermore, the information on this disk is neither
         ARCed, PAKed, compressed, condensed, encoded, encrypted,
         LBRed, LHZed, picked, PXK'd, zigged, zagged, zipped,
         zapped, nor ZOOed.

             My sincere apologies if you are offended.

             If you are a Personal Computer neophyte and maybe by
         accident stumbled across this file and are lost and
         confused by all the previous jargon, relax.  You are now
         reading one of the easiest disks I know of.  As my kids
         tell me, chill out.


                          (In three easy lessons.)
         Lesson One
             When your screen shows A:\> type the word RHINO
         Lesson Two
             Press the Enter button.
         Lesson Three
             Let go!

                               Happy Reading!

                              AIR CONDITIONING

             My telephone receiver slams down on its cradle.  I'm
         upset. I am soaked to the skin, sweat runs from my brow.
         The air conditioner that I so naively  entrusted to the
         Yellow Pages Repair shop is delayed another two weeks.

             I could have it back tomorrow, I was told, if I happen
         to have a compressor relief control valve sensor assembly,
         part number 3B25189927.4A, in my pocket.  The repairman is
         a funny fellow.

             Very funny.

             "Its a bit stuffy in here," my secretary says, in an
         attempt to explain her entering my office.  This is
         obvious of course as nary a breeze wafts through the
         three-foot square hole in my wall that appeared in
         synchronization with the air conditioner's disappearance.
         She goes to the thermostat, checks the temperature, and
         adjusts its setting for the fourth time this morning.
         Shaking my head in frustration, I again try to decipher
         the overdue report that is now blurred into illegibility
         by my

             An excellent typist, she's the best secretary I've
         ever had.  Completely fulfilling her secretarial duties,
         she otherwise keeps to herself.  Although I am by nature a
         curious man, personal matters between us have never been
         discussed.  However, with the increase in temperature, her
         attire has of late become remarkable as to its increasing

             As to the hole in my wall, I have attempted to fill it
         with wadded papers and rags and such.  This has proven
         ineffective, no thanks to the active flocks of nesting
         pigeons in the neighborhood.

             Last spring I reeceived a bill from the local office
         supply.  It was rather badly smeared, but I did notice
         something about furniture.  A bill from the local office
         supply shop recently gave me a clue about my secretary's
         personal life.

             Her more recent change to now quite revealing attire
         confirms my suspicions.

              She obviously spends every non-working hour in
         thorough personal exploration of all things culinary.

              In desperation, I reach for the phone.

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