This program contains ample amounts of a certain
property that may affect you personally. Silliness. I
confess, I did it on purpose.
What you are about to read is very important. I
really didn't want to tell you but, in all fairness, I
felt I had to. Please do not be disappointed. Sit back a
moment, take a deep breath and relax.
TO ALL PERSONAL COMPUTER
HOBBYISTS, MAVENS, BUFFS, & OTHER EXPERIENCED USERS
As anybody knows, a publicly distributed disk without
a README.1ST file is practically unheard of. To publish a
disk without such a file would be an affront to every
computer buff worthy of his/her floppy drive. Firing up a
new disk without some sort of READ.ME, README.1ST, or
README.TXT file would, at the very least, make the
experienced computer user feel quite uncomfortable. This
is the very reason that I have included this file. To
help you feel a little more normal. Otherwise this file
is totally useless.
Furthermore, the information on this disk is neither
ARCed, PAKed, compressed, condensed, encoded, encrypted,
LBRed, LHZed, picked, PXK'd, zigged, zagged, zipped,
zapped, nor ZOOed.
My sincere apologies if you are offended.
If you are a Personal Computer neophyte and maybe by
accident stumbled across this file and are lost and
confused by all the previous jargon, relax. You are now
reading one of the easiest disks I know of. As my kids
tell me, chill out.
HOW TO OPERATE THE UNCLE RHINO'S SHORTS PROGRAM FROM HERE
(In three easy lessons.)
When your screen shows A:\> type the word RHINO
Press the Enter button.
My telephone receiver slams down on its cradle. I'm
upset. I am soaked to the skin, sweat runs from my brow.
The air conditioner that I so naively entrusted to the
Yellow Pages Repair shop is delayed another two weeks.
I could have it back tomorrow, I was told, if I happen
to have a compressor relief control valve sensor assembly,
part number 3B25189927.4A, in my pocket. The repairman is
a funny fellow.
"Its a bit stuffy in here," my secretary says, in an
attempt to explain her entering my office. This is
obvious of course as nary a breeze wafts through the
three-foot square hole in my wall that appeared in
synchronization with the air conditioner's disappearance.
She goes to the thermostat, checks the temperature, and
adjusts its setting for the fourth time this morning.
Shaking my head in frustration, I again try to decipher
the overdue report that is now blurred into illegibility
An excellent typist, she's the best secretary I've
ever had. Completely fulfilling her secretarial duties,
she otherwise keeps to herself. Although I am by nature a
curious man, personal matters between us have never been
discussed. However, with the increase in temperature, her
attire has of late become remarkable as to its increasing
As to the hole in my wall, I have attempted to fill it
with wadded papers and rags and such. This has proven
ineffective, no thanks to the active flocks of nesting
pigeons in the neighborhood.
Last spring I reeceived a bill from the local office
supply. It was rather badly smeared, but I did notice
something about furniture. A bill from the local office
supply shop recently gave me a clue about my secretary's
Her more recent change to now quite revealing attire
confirms my suspicions.
She obviously spends every non-working hour in
thorough personal exploration of all things culinary.