Ansible N 30-100 (fantasy)
ANSIBLE 30, November 1982: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, the Prestel number is no more, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by MARK CHARSLEY
... to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 30 is the 30th issue of ANSIBLE (this has been the
True Fact Of The Month) and is brilliantly edited (we had to
run out of true facts sometime) by DAVE LANGFORD from 94
LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU, UK -- telephone
(0734) 665804. Subscriptions held stable despite rising costs
for 6 whole weeks now: #1 for 4 issues anywhere on Earth or
#2 for 8 if you like -- don't send more than #2, please.
Sterling cheques/cash/POs to me, Girobank transfer to a/c 24
523 0408, $US equivalent to US agents Mary and Bill Burns at
their *new address* 23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550,
Euromoney to Euroagent Roelof Goudriaan, Postbus 589, 8200 AN
Lelystad, Netherlands. Rush money if your mailing label,
exquisitely crafted by traditional native Keith Freeman, bears
a Politely Complaining Reminder (SUB DUE) or , worse, a
Discreet Cough Of Forthcoming Severance (*****). All artwork
by ATOM; all typos courtesy of Sperry-Remington; all
interjections of `Have a triffic Christmas' by the editor and
Hazel. Next issue in 1983...
=============================================================
### NOVACON 12 * BIRMINGHAM 5-8 NOV * JOSEPH NICHOLAS
[Editorial bits in this typeface (here indicated by square
brackets--1994) are interspersed with these highlights from
Joe's 50,000 word draft Novacon report -- DRL]
These days a Novacon is much like all other Novacons, held in
the same hotel (Royal Angus) and city so that memories of them
blur together and one has difficulty remembering not only what
happened but when, and in which order, but also whether one
enjoyed it... I didn't see anything of Friday evening's silly
games and films, and instead seemed to spend hours running to
and from my room to dispose of the mounds of fanzines everyone
was giving out. Vague flashes of (in no particular order) Kev
Smith telling me what a nice guy Ted White is really, Mickey
Poland giving me a collection of BAOR photos of Lynx & Puma
helicopters, Eve Harvey falling off a table and spilling her
drink down my trousers (you may wonder what she was doing on
the table in the first place. Me too), and Tim Illingworth
giving me the number of the Cambridge room party, which I then
forgot until Judith came to lead me away to bed and it was too
late...
[As usual Jim Barker was to blame for the silly games.
What is his weird charismatic power, that at his bidding
respectable fans will stand on their heads telling Irish
jokes while miming 97-word book titles and playing the
kazoo? I think we should be told. Novacon 12's programme
was deliberately `slender', notes the Brum Group's own
newsletter , fine for fans but `perhaps not for
newcomers'. My own neo-ish desire to see TIME BANDITS at
last was thwarted by scheduling that film to clash with
Saturday's breakfast -- because, say my spies, `Rog
Peyton doesn't like it.']
Judith was the star of Saturday's fanzine panel, nominally
chaired by committee member Eunice Pearson, who was obviously
too traumatized by the experience to say much. The discussion
floundered for 15 minutes, with D. West in the audience
growing visibly more bored: when he left (I imply no causal
connexion) it suddenly got better. Abi Frost, also in the
audience, clobbered panel members Christina Lake and Lilian
Edwards over the artwork presentation in their fanzine; Judith
clobbered Eunice for publishing a fiction fanzine at all, and
kept talking for the rest of the hour, as a result of which
she was invited to chair a similar panel at Albacon. Subtle
moral lesson to be learned here...
Afternoon brought another Phil Strick compilation of clips
from Really Bad films, out of which Chris Priest walked
muttering that it was too easy to get laughs from such
material. Toby Roxburgh's `The Economics of SF Publishing'
answered traditional auctorial moans with the publisher's
moans instead -- given his quoted figures, it does seem mad to
hope for any profit at all from publishing. `An excellent
demonstration of why bumblebees can't fly,' said Jack Cohen
from the audience; and GoH Harry Harrison, and Brian Aldiss,
rose repeatedly to respond with tales from their own
experiences. `The bumblebee is about to fly again,' reassured
Roxburgh, plunging into the mysteries of inflation and
interest rates: his talk was intelligent, amusing , and
insightful, probably the best item of the entire weekend.
[The Aldiss horror-story concerned Tom Maschler of Cape
who bullied BA into abandoning HELLICONIA SUMMER to spend
6 weeks compiling -- with Margaret Aldiss -- an anthology
of mini-sagas. The mini-saga forma [a 50-word title, no
more or less -- see A27] was invented by BA and sparked a
TELEGRAPH competition receiving 33,000 entries of which
the 300 best form the anthology... which has now seized
up thanks to furious copyright disputes between Cape and
the TELEGRAPH, making the planned Spring publication a
hollow mockery and leaving the Aldisses with, so far, a
return for their labours of #0.00p. Logomachy continues.
Watch this space!]
After a gap (it's the drink, squire, the drink) came the
auction with R. Peyton in fine form, flogging yards of Brian
Stableford at #6-#7 the throw for GUFF, and I'd thought I'd
have to pay people to take them away. Star item was a mystery
package which went for a staggering #3.40 -- staggering when
you realise that everyone else dropped out at the #2 mark,
the remaining cretin (er... bidder) ignoring Peyton cries of
"Stop bidding -- stop -- it's rubbish" while being given 10p
bits by his friends to carry on and secure.. four copies of
Eando Binder's NIGHT OF THE SAUCERS.
Another gap (the drink, squire) and it was time for the disco
(out of which Chris Priest walked muttering that he came to
cons to avoid such mundane crap): I discovered that several
years of not dancing had turned my limbs to wood -- Judith
could bounce with the best of them while I had trouble even
waving my arms coherently, until the rather inept DJ played an
old Stones number and I too began leaping up and down,
thrashing away at an imaginary guitar and landing on my head
with every third chord. All I remember after is a fascinating
conversation with Eric Bentcliffe about fan history and
tradition, and, much later, stepping out of the lift en route
to bed and tripping over a G. Webb pekinese.
[But there was an uproar in the bar as famous Prof. Tom
Shippey let down his lack of hair. "I liked your book on
Tolkien," said your editor to Tom. "But I noticed a
couple of mistakes," I continued boldly. "Aargh," I
interrupted as Prof. Shippey seized my ear in steely
fingers and twisted it round and round. Later, the
highest brow in British fandom lurched on a trail of
mayhem and molestation [Eileen Weston was reported to be
deeply unamused] while fans soothed the bar staff with
such unconvincing remarks as, "It's all right, he's a
Professor of Mediaeval Literature..."]
Sunday was the usual blur. I found time to watch CLOSET CASES
OF THE NERD KIND, and HARDWARE WARS, two triffic spoofs which
would have raised more laughs if shown in reverse order -- HW,
it's irons and toasters and eggwhisks screeching through space
on wires borrowed from Dr. Who, was obviously the cruder with
less structure and impact, whereas CCNK had sophistication and
a larger budget. Also on Sunday... D. West approached Judith
asking her to become one of his groupies, making me wonder if
he'd suddenly given up on pretty young men: but all he wanted
was a drink. Geoff Rippington handed me a heap of VECTOR
review copies containing a James Michener novel so heavy and
so horrible that I had to run away and hide it before everyone
started laughing. Judith did not appear to lead me to bed,
having returned to London to face the dread spectre of work on
Monday morning, and at some godawful early hour of same I fell
asleep in a corner of the bar, waking to find Tony Berry had
decorated my hands with a red felt pen and was just about to
start on my face... I had a good time; roll on next year. (JN)
[Since I too left early, it seems unfair that I should
have to insert coverage of Sunday Night's award ceremony.
The Nova awards went to Rob Hansen (fanartist -- rumoured
runners-up Lyon and Barker), Chris Atkinson (fanwriter --
r.r.u. Hansen and Ounsley), and Hansen's EPSILON
(fanzine -- r.r.u. ANSIBLE and TAPPEN). Kevin Smith
gloated at length over the power of his Nova
recommendation in the progress reports. The COFF --
Concrete Overcoat Fan Fund -- trophy went to the fake Bob
Shaw, who had precognitively donned a three-piece suit
and tie to accept it. He got 62 votes; runners-up were
Steve Green (56) and just about every other British fan,
down to folk like Joseph (2) and Martin Hoare (1). Even I
got several votes after annoying ******* ******** at
Channelcon. Artshow award to Fangorn [Chris Baker]...
DRL)]
### WITH ROD & GUN THROUGH THE SAVAGE WORLD OF SKIFFY
THE BSFA (LTD.) ON THE BRINK: A Final Notice to the directors
of the BSFA has come from the jolly Registrar of Companies,
who speaks soothingly of overdue annual returns and accounts,
of directors' (ie council members') personal responsibility,
of fines up to #1000 all round... `I can sort it all out,'
said ashen-faced company secretary Kevin Smith, leaving
Novacon hastily and prematurely...
MORE THREATS have been arriving on Faircon committee members'
doorsteps, from Golds, solicitors of Bob (fake) Shaw (who says
he got the idea from Duncan Lunan). Since the Fairconcom folk
were `party to a fraudulent pretence whereby our client was
wickedly misled into diverting his considerable effort and
energies into this event' (ie. since the committee failed to
come to heel when instructed by Bob to jettison chairman Joan
Paterson -- see A28), they are now being threatened with
proceedings unless they cough up #300 apiece, or possibly
#300 between them. The legal term for this is, I believe,
`trying it on'. Our Bob has meanwhile issued a preliminary
Faircon 84 Progress Report which rather mysteriously requests
`presupporting memberships' at #5 a head -- presumably a
pre-emptive strike lest other members of the Faircon 82
committee get ideas about carrying on to run the 1984 event...
CANADIAN SF & FANTASY AWARD: voted in some manner not
described in the release, the single annual award can be
(rather bizarrely) presented for a story, novel, antho, mag,
artwork, film or litcrit item -- 1982's went to Phyllis
Gottlieb for her novel JUDGEMENT OF DRAGONS and also for
lifetime contributions to SF. Meanwhile, the egregious Spider
Robinson constantly demands to be made eligible for the CSFFA
on grounds of Canadian residence (while refusing to abandon
the advantages of US citizenship)...
BEN BOVA left OMNI some while ago, a news item so tedious that
I forgot it until reading in PATCHIN REVIEW 5 that `when LOCUS
printed Ben's report that he'd RESIGNED, many people were
confused and surprised -- not least, at OMNI...'
MAXIM JAKUBOWSKI, overlord of `Zomba Books' (to be launched in
Spring or so), will be publishing all manner of strange things
-- eg. a Moorcock nonfiction work under the mysterious Zomba
imprint `Bee In Bonnet'. Maxim's Allen&Unwin fantasy
anthologies LANDS OF NEVER/ BEYOND THE LANDS OF NEVER
(June/Sept 83) are now closed, with stories by (his
ordering!): Langford, Silverberg, Kilworth, Holdstock,
Pollack, Jakubowski, Ableman, Ballard, Chant, Chilson,
Horwood, Lee, Gaskell, Salmonson, Carter (not Lin), Evans (C),
Tem, Grant, Aldiss and Watson.
EXTRO POST-MORTEM: Paul Campbell tried recently to collect the
#1100 or so owed him by Seymour, the distributors, for copies
sold. He reports a phone conversation: "Seymours clerk -- `Yes
there is money here for you. No, I don't know when it'll be
through. Give me two minutes. (...) Yes, there's money there
alright. But they say down in accounts that it'll have to go
up to the circulation manager for decision. I'll check with
him. Give me two minutes. (...) Dear me, but he says you won't
be getting anything. In fact you might owe us money. That's a
joke. No, whatever you get it won't be worth waiting for. You
know how it is when you go broke. (Whine, whine) It isn't my
fault.' That's the bare bones, fairly verbatim. Scandalous,
criminal; but verbal, unwitnessed and unpublishable. They
followed up with a statement of account saying YO HO HO, LOOK
AT HOW MANY COPIES OF EXTRO WE'VE JUST DESTROYED. I've a
sneaking suspicion that when I've got round to sorting out all
my accounts, I'll find that Seymours destroyed more copies of
the magazine than I ever sent them... Lots of sympathy cards,
by the way, but none with large cheques from millionaires
saying I'VE BEEN A FAN OF SF SINCE I WAS A CHILD. WILL THIS
HELP?... Know anyone who needs a reviewer?" (PC)
ARTHUR C. CLARKE WRITES: well merely his secretary Paul
Heskett. "Granada's proof copy of 2010: ODYSSEY TWO was bloody
appalling, littered with mistakes and PAINFUL to read. Del Rey
have done a far better job... ACC says `it's the best thing
I've done': from personal experience he's said that about two
other works of his. Frankly, I was disappointed with 2010. It
has some inspired moments but the characterization is weak."
ANSIBLE found some super misprints in the final Granada
edition, like `feather' for `feature' and `intelligent' for
`unintelligent'; the book's weakness comes partially from the
fact that 2001 ended on the brink of Truly Cosmic Developments
which no sequel could quite deliver -- 2010 scores such
planet-busting points as it can and for want of a better
ending stops rather abruptly on another and more familiar
brink. (Less disappointing than FOUNDATIONS EDGE, wherein
liberalized Asimov modifies his Politically Unsound Imperial
Goals to the extent of converting the Foundation trilogy to a
chronicle of misguidedness.) Also to hand is "the most
important thing I've ever done" (ACC), a speech to the UN
committee on Disarmament -- subsequently entered into the US
Congressional Record -- calling for a `Peacesat' International
Satellite Monitoring Agency to promote global togetherness.
Meanwhile ACC would `like to go back to Russia'; Russia may be
less keen, 2010 being part-dedicated to the persecuted
physicist Sakharov...
JOIN WOOSTER AS HE STALKS THE STREETS OF NEW HAVEN WITH THE
MEN WHO MAKE YOUR NIGHTMARES! Thus the US newspaper syndicate
ad for Martin Morse W's World Fantasycon story, now released
unexpurgated: "800 attendees. Winners of `Howard' awards
included: NOVEL LITTLE, BIG (perhaps in gratitude for Bantam
Books providing con attendees with free copies), NOVELLA `The
fire when it comes' (Godwin), SHORT `The Dark Country'
(Etchison)/'Do The Dead Sing?' , LIFE ACHIEVEMENT Italo
Calvino... A cross between a Nebula Banquet and a Worldcon,
the con had 100+ pros in attendance, including marginal
fantasy writers like historical hack Morgan Lllweyyn
(CONCEIVABLY LLEWELLYN? DRL), Ronald Reagan's Favourite
Novelist: `Hey don't hold it against me,' she says. High
points included the preview of CREEPSHOW, an unmitigated
comedy of grave-robbing, birthday cakes and supernatural
comics, and the Ace party, which metamorphosed into a Berkley
party at suspicious intervals. Here everyone's favourite
midAtlantic fan, tastefully black-leather-clad Mr. Charles
Platt, proceeded to shake up a can of beer and douse Miss
Ellen Datlow, Hero Fiction Editor, OMNI, with foamy brew. As
Mr. Platt was given the boot by Susan Allison, Savage Lord of
the Berkley Empire, Datlow was overheard to say: "I think we
won't see Platt's work in OMNI for QUITE some time..." Also
overheard: `Yes, I liked HELLICONIA SPRING, but it won't even
be nominated for a Nebula.' `Why not?' "Look at the cover.
It's got a 16th century painting on it, and SFWA members won't
vote for things they can't understand.'" (MMW) Alexis
Gilliland, recently praised in the WASHINGTON POST as a writer
of Bureaucratic SF, refutes Mr. Wooster's A29 "assertion that
I am the THIRD WSFAn (A as in Association) to win the John W
Campbell Award, after Sucharitkul and Chalker. Martin who
aspires to be a fan-historian, is incorrect. Chalker was
nominated in 78 and 79, but did not in fact win the award..."
(AAG)
RABBIT HOLE is the mind-numbing Newsletter of the Harlan
Ellison Record Collection, containing several words about
records and whole pages covering HE's amazing acts of
philanthropy, huge advances, failure to get LDV into print,
remaindered books for sale at vast prices, etc. -- ostensibly
written by Shelley Levinson, Director of the Collection, but
in prose strangely reminiscent of HE himself. After all, who's
better qualified to eulogise Ellison than...?
IMAGINE TM, conceivably pronounced `Imaginet'm', is the
British TSR TM mag about D&D (R): assistant editor Paul
Cockburn TM is offering up to #30/thousand words for related
fiction (but ask first), subject to such constraints as the
appalling TSR TM CODE (R), a document written by Gary Gygax +
warning that (e.g.) no TSR TM publication may depict the
defeat of authorised law enforcement officers. Register your
name as a trademark and contact TSR TM (UK) Ltd, The Mill,
Rathmore Rd, Cambridge, CB1 4AD. Launch in Spring (R).
[OMITTED: TWO `ATOM' CARTOONS OF ONE FAN IMPARTING HIS OPINION
OF A BOOK TO ANOTHER FAN.
CAPTION OF 1ST: IT'S THE LATEST BRUNNER... ALL THE AMERICAN SF
AUTHORS IN IRELAND ARE STRUCK DOWN BY AN ALIEN VIRUS.
CAPTION OF 2ND: IT'S THE LATEST HARRISON... ALL THE SF WRITERS
IN ENGLAND ARE ATTACKED BY A MYSTERIOUS FUNGUS!... ]
### FENCON :: CAMBRIDGE 16 OCTOBER :: JUDITH HANNA
It was an upstairs, downstairs sort of con. Real stairs, not
lifts. Upstairs on the 3rd floor was the main hall where
important events were held. Downstairs (1st floor) were the
bar, bookselling tables and a smaller programme area. In
between were cafe and coffee lounge. The 200 members
distributed themselves more or less randomly among the levels.
Highlights... The Celebrity Panel, with Brian Aldiss on the
trauma of having some idiot bump into his car en route,
Charles Platt opening up his heart to us all and frankly
confessing that he'd returned to SF because he'd discovered
while interviewing for WHO WRITES SF that "I really liked all
these people... I just love you all out there... Quote me on
that." Asked about the recent fantasy upsurge, he suggested it
arose from `nut-cults' of the 60s `hippy revolution'. Fred
Pohl disagreed: "Books are written by individuals, not the
times," a reasonable-seeming assertion which however implies
that writers aren't affected by the times they live in.
Nick Lowe expounded `The Well-Tempered Plot Device', a theory
which bids fair to rival the Thentis factor in critical
discourse, opening with a round of `clench-search' (4 people
hold 4 Covenant books, on the word opening them at random and
start skimming in search of the word `clench' -- the game
seldom takes long). A plot device is of course something like
a Ring of Staff of Law: a device which gets and keeps the plot
moving. There are also `plot coupons' -- wishes, special
gifts, red kryptonite -- which may be brought into play like
wild cards to get the plot moving again when it's ground to a
dead end. My own contribution to this theory is that
trading-in plot coupons is like playing Finchley Central --
the longer you delay, the more finesse.
`So You Fancy Yourself A Writer', chaired by Steve Knight,
with contestants Joseph, Colin Greenland, Phil Masters and
Geoff Ryman, was a game in eight rounds: invent a first
sentence, a last sentence, padding, bluffing, overwriting
(Colin: "This beer is so tasteless that given the chance it'd
watch CROSSROADS"), retitling (the Bible -- Colin: "Universe
of Shame"; THE SEX GOBLINS -- Joseph: "Micro-servants of the
Wankh"), alien gastronomy, last and by no means easiest a
complete SF story in eight words (Phil: "And God said, `I
don't think I'll bother.'"). One of the best con games I've
seen, but hell to score: with all contestants within .01 of a
virtual Smartie of each other, J. Nicholas was declared
winner.
There were three particular eccentricities: the Space-Time
Masquerade -- 4 devilishly complex pictures providing clues to
where and when one might catch the `Fenc' -- someone did
figure it out and wore a placard proclaiming `I found the
Fenc' for the rest of the day; there was `Spot the Wandering
Alien', later admitted to be an entity which transferred
between committee members when they came into contact, the
clue being a sideways jump. Spotting Spot was confused by
local CUSFS members settling in circles on the floor to play
Sprodzoom, a game which required them to perform numerous
alien contortions.
Yes -- it is possible to work up a con `high' in just one day,
and it debilitates the fannish organism less than the usual
weekend-long immersion. Fencon was a good thing. (JH)
SCIENCE FICTION UNLIMITED: Brighton 23 October
a collation of reports from Joseph Nicholas and distinguished
by typeface and indenting, David S. Garnett. Another ANSIBLE
first...
DG: Brighton Museum are holding an exhibition
imaginatively titled `Out Of This World' during October
and November, and in conjunction with this a one day
seminar/forum/whatever was held in the Royal Pavilion --
which is an old building near the sea front which ought
to have been pulled down and replaced with something
useful like a multistorey car park, but probably never
will be because it was built by some king or other. (No
he didn't build it himself. He had this gang of Irish
labourers , but he got all the credit.)
JN: Drawing about 200 people, it was held in the William IV
room of the Royal Pavilion, a perhaps incongruous site for an
SF event ...
At 10.30 there was supposed to be a talk on `Dan Dare and
His Creator' by Paul Clark, followed an hour later by
`Saviours From Space -- or Cosmic Conmen? The Enigma of
Alien Visitors' a talk by Hilary Evans of the Society for
Psychical Research. I missed them both.
Judith and I arrived late, missing chairman David Pringle's
welcome and the first 15 minutes of Hilary Evans's `critical
survey of the various types of contact that are claimed with
alien visitors'. Critical it certainly was: Evans is concerned
as much with exposing the fraud and self-deception surrounding
such phenomena as with convincing us that there may be some
truth to them; his lecture was devoted to both the absurdity
of the purported aliens' behaviour and the quasi-religious
fervour with which `contactees' expound their experiences.
Such literature, he remarked, tells more about the psychology
of its writers than anything else -- for them it's science
fact rather than SF. For us, it's not even SF; but in passing
Evans drew attention to a story, `The Green Man' (AMAZING
1946), which is the prototype of all contact experiences --
silvery cigar-shaped ship, beams of energy which stop car
engines, a glowing visitor who tells a lone traveller that
he's been chosen as the aliens' Earthly representative.
Another brick in the wall of SF's past misdemeanours, eh what?
Another audiovisual presentation followed: graphic designer
Paul Clarke on Dan Dare. This started well with an account of
the strange genesis of the EAGLE and the working practices of
Frank Hampson's team, but declined into interminable
gosh-wowing over an equally interminable succession of slides
as Clark's enthusiasm got the better of him. Nostalgia
suffused him, superlatives fell from his lips... Personally I
think it's time the Dare enthusiasts stopped simply eulogising
their hero and made way for sociologists and anthropologists
to decode the strip's subtext and demonstrate how and to what
extent it embodied the hopes and fears of British Society in
the 50's.
During the lunch-break there was time to visit the museum
exhibition. I didn't quite manage to get there, but I'll
quote a couple of Famous People "It's very pop -- Daleks,
K-9, movie stills, R2D2, lots of antique toy robots, lots
of Dan Dare stuff." (Colin Greenland) "Lots of paintings
from Rob Holdstock and Malcolm Edwards books" (Malcolm
Edwards). Colin opened the afternoon proceedings, and he
should have been speaking on the `The Meaning of SF' ,
and that's what it might have been, as I arrived just as
he was finishing. (The night before, Friday, was a mate's
last night in the UK and we went out for one or twelve
drinks. I know there were at least five pubs... And so
Saturday morning I leapt out of bed bright and early,
then went back to bed again; got up, threw up, retired
once again. Third time lucky and I succeeded, drawn by
the promise of an INTERZONE cheque waiting for me in
Brighton.)
Colin Greenland spoke on `Multiplied Visions: The Meaning of
SF', contending that by virtue of the different perspectives
of ourselves and our world that SF offers it is capable of
enhancing and multiplying our visions of same -- and
demonstrating that SF is so ramified and multiplied, and has
become so integral a part of our culture, that it's now almost
impossible to speak of a `thing' called SF.
I sneaked into the Pavilion's William IV room around
3.20pm. Or I thought I sneaked in, but I'd been spotted
by the eagle eye (the left one I think) of chairman and
FOUNDATION supremo D. Pringle, who pointed me out to the
assembled throng (around 100) as a pretext for
advertising INTERZONE. Must have worked, as all copies
were sold and I even had to surrender one of my own which
young Malcolm had given me wrapped in a cheque... I did
see the next talk, which was supposed to be John Brunner
talking about John Brunner -- and wasn't. Or not much.
John is mellowing.
John Brunner, the fourth and final speaker, delivered a short
anecdotal piece on his early days in SF... the day closed with
a short film called THE TOM MACHINE, made by a National Film
School graduate, with almost the same theme as Dick's TIME OUT
OF JOINT. The performances are a little wooden and the
revelations somewhat cryptic and drawn-out, but it's an
excellent, unpretentious film which should go down well at
conventions. All in all, it was a good and enjoyable day. I
wonder if anyone's thinking of a similar such seminar next
year? (JN)
The best Brighton SF event was back in May '68, as part
of the Brighton Festival, when they invited the whole NEW
WORLDS crew down for 2 days. There were about 20 people
on the stage and a similar number in the audience (which
included Ted Tubb and Ken Bulmer). On Saturday night
everyone went to Henekeys... but got thrown out, which
could have had something to do with pouring drinks from
the balcony on the multitudes below. Tom Disch threw his
drink in the manager's crotch, and when the police
arrived he got in the Black Maria as he said he wanted
to be arrested. We all wandered off to another pub, The
Heart & Hand and Brian Aldiss ordered 20 halves of
bitter, and there was change out of a pound note. Those
were the days! (DG)
### FROM OUR OWN CORRESPONDENTS...
PETER NICHOLLS: "Old much-loved and much-loathed girl friend
and ex-fiancee Janet Pollak gave birth to a 5.5 week premature
baby Thomas weighing in at 5lb 4oz three weeks ago (letter
dated end Sept). I have temporarily (only) moved in with her
to give moral support by being kept awake every night. The
child is clearly mine, as its saturnine expression and
grotesquely huge big toes makes quite obvious. I am hoping to
bring him up to be a pawnbroker, or to work in some other
substantial money-making career. Anything other than writing.
"Multimedia flourishes in the usual rackety manner of
packagers. Haven't got round to commissioning anything from
you yet, and maybe never, because of insistence on big names.
Big names captured so far are not really suited for a good
5-a-side team -- Harold Evans, Peter Medawar, Sir Edmund
Hillary, Bernard Dixon, Frank Barnaby (the latter two being
more your middle sized sort of name). Am currently working on
Lord Lever. Everybody loves a Lord. Once you are Lord Langford
(with 3 lovely daughters if possible) all sorts of doors,
including my own, will open to you. Love and kisses -- "
IAN WATSON: "How quaint of Brian Aldiss to figure (in A29) on
a certain letter in TRIBUNE, a political newspaper, which was
of course the point of the letter. Now who was it who wrote to
FOUNDATION, journal of general criticism, a while ago in a
vein of bile to browbeat `this stroppy little man' Brian
Stableford for presuming to criticise that visionary socialist
tract ENEMIES OF THE SYSTEM and to puff another forthcoming
long political novel by the same author which might likewise
be in danger of maltreatment by the humourless, hubristic
bindweed? Oh yes, I remember. Brian Aldiss himself. Don't do
as I do; do as I say."
JOYCE SCRIVNER: "DUFF candidates this year are Alexis
Gilliland, Charlotte Proctor, Jan Howard Finder & Jerry
Kaufman. It should be a great race.
"I found Chicon exhausting -- collapsed during the Hugos and
wasn't seen again 'til Monday. On the `Two Ocean Fanzine
Panel' (J. Foyster, K. Smith, T. White, I & J.H. Finder) we
played `keep the mike from Jan', shouted `DIM, DIM, DIM!'
while holding a JLAS sign, and with Kevin's help were absurd.
At Plergbcon the next weekend Kevin revealed his camouflage
green jockey shorts while four women massaged him; Peter
Toluzzi (DUFF winner) revealed black silk bikini shorts while
five women worked on him; the infamous group shower incident
followed..." (More!)
### THE ANSIBLE CONVENTION SUPPLEMENT
FENCON (p.3) has happened, but Lilian Edwards also sent a
report: "...It's no bad thing when the worst criticism
levelled against a con is that the programme was so good;
people kept having massive identity crises over which items to
miss. It was indeed the basic excellence of both the
conception and execution of the programme which made the event
so cohesive and friendly; most people spent most of their time
in close proximity... Some mention MUST be given to the So You
Think You're A Writer panel, where C. Greenland became an
instant star with his SF-story-in-less-then-8-words (ALIENS
DISGUISED AS TYPEWRITERS? WHAT NON-); the Ultimate Questions
panel where scientists and philosophers vied to explain the
Mysteries of Life, flummoxing the entire con with the
deceptively simple problem of a man trying to get past his
mirror image in a narrow doorway (try it); the Total SF Quiz,
simply the funniest ever devised, whose cosmic absurdity was
reflected in the result being decided by the number of orange
Smarties each side ended up with... No real plans for a Fencon
2; we live in hope..." (LE, cut by DRL because JH got there
first). Only Brian Aldiss was less than enthusiastic about
Fencon, apparently only because of its all being over in a
single day.
CYMRUCON (27-28 Nov, Cardiff) will be happening, or over, when
you read this: having utterly failed to produce any progress
reports, the committee has apparently subsided altogether (22
Nov), leaving `GoH' Lionel Fanthorpe to rush out apologies to
all other guests for the con's mysterious inability to print
guests' urgently solicited stories and articles in the
programme book. Good grief...
SANTACON (14-16 Dec, Leeds Dragonara) purports to be a
Trekkie/media/humour event: SAE to 10 Langford Rd, Heaton
Chapel, Stockport, Cheshire, SK4 5BR.
FAANCON would theoretically fall in February 1983, but it
seems that no one wants to organize it: this tiny no-programme
event has probably has probably outlived its usefulness thanks
to today's rash of conventions. Bye-bye, Faancon...?
RA CON (4-6 Feb 83, Grosvenor Centre Hotel, Edinburgh): GoH
Harry Harrison, FGoH Pete Lyon, #4 supp #8 att; 77 Baron's Ct
Tce, Edinburgh, EH8 7EN.
ALBACON II (1-4 April; Central Hotel, Glasgow): 1983
Eastercon. GoH Jim White & Tanith Lee, FGoH TAFF delegate
(don't forget to vote for Avedon Carol before the 18 Dec
deadline), toastmaster D. Langford (wow). #4 supp #8 att to 1
Dec, #5/#9 to 20 March, #10 att thereafter: c/o B/L 8
Highburgh Rd, Glasgow G12 9YD.
SOL III (27-30 May, Grand Hotel, Brum): 15th -that's XV,
folks, not III -- official Trekkiecon. GoH J. Doohan, W.
Koenig, A. McCaffrey, B. Shaw. SAE to 39 Dersingham Ave, Manor
Park, London, E.12.
BECCON 83 (29-31 July), Essex Crest Hotel, Basildon): GoH Ken
Bulmer; #3 supp #7 att to 191 The Heights, Northolt,
Middlesex, UB5 4BU.
SILICON 7 (26-29 Aug, Grosvenor Hotel, Jesmond, Newcastle):
membership #3.50 to, er, well, even Mastergannet Harry Bell
doesn't know Sue Hepple's address -- he advised me to ring Kev
Williams (0632-375713). I did, but he wasn't in...
CONSTELLATION (1-5 Sept, Convention Centre, Baltimore, USA):
1983 Worldcon. GoH John Brunner, FGoH Dave Kyle, $10 supp, $30
att now, $15/$40 Jan-July; Box 1046, Baltimore, MD 21203, USA.
3450 members as of mid-Oct. This is as good a place as any to
bury some stuff on the Hugos (did you notice that in A29 I
forgot to mention LOCUS'S 1982 Fanzine Hugo? Well, well):
ConStellation is being urged by George Flynn (leader of
Business Meeting and Rules fandoms) to take up its `spare
Hugo' option -- the committee can add a category to the Hugo
ballot for its con only -- and adopt the additional
Semi-Prozine Hugo. This was actually voted into the rules at
Chicon, but requires ratification at ConStellation. It isn't,
as common sense might suggest, an attempt to acknowledge the
current situation by retitling the "Fanzine" Hugo: it provides
and EXTRA award for "semiprozines", defined as magazines
meeting two of the following criteria -- [1] printrun over
1000; [2] pays contributors/staff; [3] provides at least half
someone's income [4] at least 15% full of ads; [5] calls
itself a semiprozine. In other words, instead of muttering
about the wicked, evil LOCUS and SFR getting all the Hugos,
fandom will be able to mutter about a different selection of
malefactors, possibly beginning with wicked evil FILE 770. I
submit that the whole idea does not make very much sense. We
all knew that there was no justice and that huge-circulation
fnz could always woo the unthinking hordes of Hugo voters. Now
the biggies are exiled to the semipro category, and Real
Fanzines have their chance to be voted on by... well,
actually, the same enormous hordes of Hugo voters, most of
whom won't have a clue. Which doesn't stop them voting even
though "the voting population is at least 1000 to 1500 while
most decent fnz have circs of 400 or less." (JERRY KAUFMAN)
Quite. Voting will probably reflect circulation even though
circulation -- conceivably a measure of, say, novels' or
magazines' popularity -- has nothing at all to do with fnz
quality. In addition the new rule produces extremely silly
anomalies in the fanwriter and fanartist categories: exactly
what sort of artist is Alexis Gilliland, for example, who
mostly draws for SFR? There doesn't, you see, happen to be a
semipro artist category... Piffle, piffle; the fan Hugos were
silly enough before, and this amendment makes them less
logical and more divisive (perhaps not in theory, but
certainly, I think, in practice).
X-CON (2-4 Sept, Belgium): Beneluxcon 83. Approx #3.30 supp
#7.15 att -- SAE to Ken Slater, Fantast (Medway) Ltd, 39 West
St, Wisbech, Cambs, PE13, 2LX.
UNICON 4 (2-4 Sept, U of Essex, Colchester): GoH
`Unconfirmed', FGoH Ken Slater, Special Guest Garry Kilworth;
#3 supp, #5 att (#6 from Jan); no official address to be
found, but probably c/o Alex Stewart, 11a Beverly Rd,
Colchester, Essex, CO3 3NG. The shifted date (since A29) was
caused by U of E double booking.
THE CON WITH NO NAME (17-18 Sept, Leeds Dragonara): no idea
what this one is, but MATRIX reports a high committee
turnover. GoH Dennis Spooner (who he?); #10 att to Leeds Rd,
Liversedge, W Yorks, or maybe 111 Chestnut Cr, Conisboro', S
Yorks.
INVENTION (23-25 Sept, Central Hotel, GLasgow): replaces
Faircon for 83. GoH Chris Boyce, FGoH Jim Barker; #5 supp, #9
att to Easter -- memberships to 10 Woodlands Gdns, Bothwell,
Glasgow, G71 8NU.
MILFORD (UK) Writers' Conference: 25 Sept to 1 Oct almost
certainly. Ask me.
GALACTICON (??? Oct 83): planned mediacon, esp BLAKE'S
GALACTICA -- weird flyer asks #2 but looks outdated; con may
well have been cancelled; anyone know?
FRANKFURT BOOK FAIR (12-17 Oct, Frankfurt) -- not relevant for
most of you, but this is the time of year when your favourite
publisher may be hard to find...
NOVACON 13 (4-6 Nov, Birmingham): #7 att to 46 Colwyn Rd,
Beeston, Leeds LS11 6PY. Once again there are rumours of a
possible venue change to the Grand Hotel ('Rog Peyton doesn't
like it'): most of the people at Novacon 12 were in overflow
hotels, inevitably, and many were eager for a change. But who
knows?
ORWELLCON 83 (11-13 U of Antwerp): GoH Anthony Burgess. IRC to
A Vermeghenlon 21, Bus 20 B-2050, Antwerpen, Belgium. Odd year
for an Orwellcon...
EASTERCON 1984 (20-23 April, two bids): SEACON 84 is the
chosen name for the Brighton bid which plans to combine
Eastercon with the 1984 Eurocon (see flyer this issue). A
small steering committee has been selected from the millions
of former `Committeepeople'. The 1984 World SF Meeting will
be held in Brighton from 17-19 April if Seacon 84 succeeds...
#1 pre-supp to Pauline & Chris Morgan, 39 Hollybrow, Selly
Oak, Birmingham, B29 4LX. ||| 1984 CON is the Blackpool bid,
also full of worthy folk (NB: Pat Charnock, fearful that A29's
phrase `Linda Pickersgill replaces Pat Charnock' might imply
ugly rifts, wishes it to be known that she [Pat] merely
resigned owing to lack of time). #1 pre-supp to 28 Duckett
Rd, London, N4 1BN. ANSIBLE will carry a 1984 Con flyer when
they do one that fits!
### COA
GEOGRE [sic] BONDAR, 33 Ragstone Rd, Chalvey, Slough, Berks,
SL1 2PP ||| MARY & BILL BURNS [see masthead] ||| JON COWIE,
Flat 63 Rm 29, Castle Irwell, Cromwell Rd, Salford,
Manchester [to June 83] ||| DAVE LOCKE & JACKIE CAUSGROVE,
6828 Alpine Ave #4, Cincinnati, OH 45236, USA ||| KEN MANN
[temporary] c/o B. Smith, 60 Crofton Rd, SE.6 ||| HELEN
McNABB, The Bower, High St, Llantwit Major, S Glam ||| DAVE
MONTGOMERY, The Flat, Tankerton House, Basingstoke Rd,
Spencers Wood, Reading, RG7 1AB ||| CHRIS PRIEST & LISA
TUTTLE, 1 Ortygia House, 6 Lower Rd, Harrow, Middlesex, HA2
0DA [Devon House now sold] ||| PETER SINGLETON, Eliot Ward,
Park Lane Special Hospital, Maghull, Liverpool, L31 1HW |||
JOHN SLADEK, 13 Elmsdale Rd, Walthamstow, London, E.17 |||
MARTYN TAYLOR, Flat 2, 17 Hutchinson Square, Douglas, Isle of
Man ||| remember to notify COAs to me!
### INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
"WHEN YOU WRITE THE BOOK, IT'S A VIRGIN" explained D.M. Thomas
to ESQUIRE. "Then when it sells, it loses its virginity. It's
the OFFWHITE hotel now..." Oh. DMT's next one is about "a
contemporary Soviet poet, torn and divided emotionally and
politically... he travels to Armenia, meets a blind Lesbian,
and spins tales of an imaginary voyage to America which will
complete a Pushkin fragment." (MMW)... FORTHCOMING
PUBLICATIONS: Chris Atkinson and Linda James both plan to
perpetuate the species next year, Linda taking peculiar pains
to target the birth for Bob Dylan's birthday... WORLD SF has
voted that its International Standard Subscription should be
quoted in Swiss francs ONLY -- despite not having a Swiss bank
account. Fearlessly I reveal the official UK equivalent, #7
to 2 Cowper Rd, Cambridge, CB1 3SN, bringing the limitless
benefits of 1983 membership, such as newsletters telling you
the subs in Swiss francs... ELITIST CONSPIRACY spreads further
through the world of letters! -- conveys Colin Greenland,
winner of 2nd prize in FICTION MAG short-story comp. with a
`new wave' skiffy tale. Meanwhile David Pringle begs a plug
for INTERZONE 3, containing 4 extra pages and some interior
art at last (nobody will tell me what obscure collective
sublimation is responsible for the picture of Peter Nicholls
being strangled on p.7). IZ apparently has some 850
subscribers but sells many more copies -- print run 2-3000...
ARENA is the provisional name (assuming Geoff Rippington and
some other party fail to complain) of Hutchinson/Arrow's new
upmarket Picadoresque pb imprint -- the first two titles when
it's launched in Spring will include THE AFFIRMATION by C.
Priest. The upmarket and KingPenguinish cover is a great
disappointment to those who hoped it would follow Arrow
tradition and depict, say, a garishly spacesuited man
clutching a luminescent football... RIP -- John Gardner of
GRENDEL fame (in a motorbike crash); Frederic Dannay of
`Ellery Queen' fame (the other half of EQ, Manfred B. Lee,
died in 1971: SF relevance is of course that 3 `EQ' potboilers
were ghosted by Jack Vance, plus `major' EQ novels by Sturgeon
[PLAYER ON THE OTHER SIDE] and Avram Davidson [AND ON THE 8TH
DAY; 4TH SIDE OF THE TRIANGLE]); STANTON COBLENTZ of 20s/30s
pulp fame... MALCOLM EDWARDS rises to new power on April 1
(h'm) as THE Gollancz SF editor -- John Bush is stepping down
from both that role and the Gollancz chairmanship. Tremble,
fans, and obey... REMEMBER THOR FIVE! Peter `peter pinto'
Pinto and Derek `Dark They Were And Golden Eyed But Not Any
More' Stokes are operating in Lancaster as `Interstellar
Master Traders' (selling SF), the latter playing a minor role
partly because of "people's unwillingness to accept that
dtwage's limited liability company status should not apply to
the money THEY were owed when it collapsed" (PP). The
Shaw/Craig `Photon Books' empire in Glasgow has now become
`Future Shock' (Craig) and Second Foundation' (Shaw, who
thinks he's ahead on acronyms if nothing else)... DUFF: as per
Joyce Scrivner's note (p.4), the new US -> Australia race is
on. Voting fee $2 min; deadline 31 March 83; address J.
Scrivner, 2732 14th Ave S Lower, Minneapolis MN 55407, USA OR
P. Toluzzi, PO Box H143, Australia Sq, NSW 2000, Aus. Ballots:
ask them or me. AUSTRALIA AGAIN: Douglas Adams has been
publicity-touring, plugging LTU&E and yet again explaining to
huge audiences the supremely intellectual processes which led
him to 42 as all-time funniest number (THYME). It has come to
ANSIBLE's attention that some obscure hack called Lewis
Carroll has made similar play with Mr. Adams's number (cf.
ALICE; HUNTING OF THE SNARK [twice]): we trust that Mr. Adams
will sue... Bruce Gillespie has published a 200,000 word reset
reprint covering the first year of SF COMMENTARY -- in its
heyday one of the great critical fanzines -- #25 to him at GPO
Box 5195AA, Melbourne, Vic 3001, Aus. And tiny Norstrilia
Press (one-third Bruce) has one of its books, THE PLAINS by
Gerald Murnane, on the shortlist for the most prestigious
local award `The Age Book of the Year': the book is
`meditative fantasy set in an alternative Australia' (BG)...
THE KID'S GUIDE TO PARENTS -- Jim Barker recommends this #1.95
cartoon collection which not only aids `Save the Children'
(loud boos from Hazel) but also contains three masterpieces
from a Falkirk fanartist whose name we have mislaid... APAs:
Eurapa is of necessity a European apa, with 50-copy
requirement, dues 10DM (=#2) yearly: Joachim Henke,
Jahnstr.21, D-6551, Volxheim, Germany. Anzapa (Aus/NZ of
course) has meanwhile blown its credibility by voting Our
Joseph not only as Best Humourist but as President... BUG JACK
BARRON (film version) is now said to have a $21M budget,
incorporating that of the cancelled FIRESTARTER (watch out for
a title change to THE BUGGING or BARRON'S LOT). (MMW) EUROCON
7: Marjorie Brunner reproves Ahrvid Engholm (A29) for
complaining about Germans speaking German, and for not
mentioning famous Cherry Wilder (plus a million other
English-speakers) or the award to French mag Antares... AHRVID
STRIKES BACK: "Swedish fan Eje Berggren recently went to a
meeting called `How to make your children avoid mysterious and
dangerous sects like Hare Krishna, Devil-worshippers, comics
and science fiction'... Danish fnz FANTASTISKE FILM rumours
that Steven Spielberg is in trouble -- US author Lisa
Litchfield claims that the MS of E.T. is very similar to one
of her own (the play LOKEY FROM MALDMAR) and demands $750
MILLION in compensation" (AE)... THE BEST OF SUSAN WOOD, an
80-page anthology assembled by Jerry Kaufman, should be ready
now, proceeds to the usual good causes -- $2 plus postage (a
couple of #1 notes would be fine) to 4326 Winslow Place N,
Seattle, WA 98103, USA... OMNI FLASH: austere and remote Andie
Burland writes to say that despite the `separate' UK edition's
demise (reports of which were mistaken by some as indicating
that OMNI would no longer be on sale here -- "sales are
falling but not that bad"), she's still at OMNI, 2 Bramber Rd,
London, W14 9PB, as `acquiring editor' looking for science
bits and -- especially -- fiction for OMNI US... CON UPDATES
-- already, since pp 5-6 -- everything you know is wrong!
SANTACON, thinks Ken Slater, is in 1983, not 1982: I now see
that the given dates make no sense until 1984. SILICON 7:
rates up to _#4_ att -- 2 Seaton Ave, Lewsham, Blyth,
Northumbria. UNICON 4: memberships to 17 Laing Rd, Colchester,
Essex. NOREASCON (1982 Worldcon) has revealed a profit of
$29,077.85 (to July 82), even more that Yorcon II, Channelcon
or Novacon. MYTHCON (16-18 Sept 83, Brum): #2 supp to 133
Sheen La, SW.14, but first read ANSIBLE 27. GALACTICON (29-30
Oct 83, London): SAE 171 Heath Rd, Hounslow, Middlesex...
STARLIGHT SF NEWS goes on Prestel shortly (Micronet 800
pages): `electronic ANSIBLE' with Aldiss minisagas, Brunner
news, Watson story -- more soon.
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #21; KIKUYU
TOMBORA to press a squashy object all the way through
something.
RUUKA to become uncircumcized.
ANSIBLE 30 from DAVE LANGFORD
94 London Road, Reading, Berkshire
RG1 5AU, United Kingdom: 26 Nov 82
[Ends]
ANSIBLE 31, February 1983: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, the Prestel number is no more, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by ANDREW HEDGES
... to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 31 is the cosmic adventure of the ultimate soldier on
a desperate mission beyond death! (Blurb credit to Timescape
Books.) Another dose of cognitive estrangement from DAVE
LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKS, RGl 5AU, UK; phone
(0734) 665804. Subscriptions #2 for 8 issues (airmailed
abroad): sterling cheques/cash/POs or $ bills to me, Girobank
transfer to a/c 24 523 0408, $US cheques to Mary & Bill Burns,
23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550, USA, Euromoney to
Roelof Goudriaan, Postbus 589, 8200 AN Lelystad, Netherlands.
Consult your Keith Freeman Mailing Label for current sub
status or thinly veiled threats. ARTWORK by Alexis Gilliland,
who does a nice home-brew. Feb 1983.
=============================================================
TAFF: Not yet having the promised Full Revelations from ever
more reclusive Kevin Smith, I can only reveal that the
fabulous Avedon Carol is the appointed US delegate to Albacon
this Easter, and also becomes FGoH. Voting went: Avedon 35
votes N America, 34 Europe, total 69; Larry Carmody 28/ 4/32;
Grant Canfield 10/7/17; Taral 12/2/14; Hold Over Funds, No
Preference and the late Gen.Franco 1 vote each. Stu Shiffman
now retires as NA fund administrator, superseded by Avedon,
who in an exclusive interview confided: "The only things I
know how to do are be a dilettante and sing." Her address:
4409 Woodfield Rd, Kensington, MD 20895, USA. Euro-
administrator still K.Smith (see COAs), who will publish a
fascinating issue of TAFF TALK covering the above and much
more. Meanwhile, Avedon plans to infest Britain from 25 March
to 7 April -- no space here for usual character assassination,
but read Albacon's PR3...
L. RON HUBBARD NOT DEAD, reports our expert on the
esoteric, George Hay -- his 'good source' for this being
outside the Scientology organization. New readers begin here:
Hubbard's son Ronald DeWolf is trying to have LRH declared
dead or senile, presumably with a view to scooping the
royalties on Hubbard's doorstop skiffy blockbuster BATTLEFIELD
EARTH (NEL July), to which a 2,500,000 word sequel in 12
volumes has already been announced. 'Position on Hubbard
fiction rights in complete mystery,' clarifies George. Nobody
has seen Hubbard at the numerous Scientology-sponsored
publicity binges for BE, though letters allegedly from him
have been read at them; only the vilest of fans (Malcolm
Edwards) have had the temerity to suggest that the contents of
BE are prima-facie evidence of its author's death. Charles
Platt has reportedly sworn an affidavit to the effect that
his recent postal interview with Hubbard seemed to be the real
thing. What next?
HUGOS/NEBULAS: Hugo nomination forms have now reached
the UK -- anyone wishing to spend $15 for the privilege of not
influencing the mindless voting hordes is welcome to purchase
a xerox of my copy. Ballots must be postmarked by 8 March. The
preliminary Nebula ballot is also to hand, top novels being
SWORD OF THE LICTOR (19 nominations), HELLICONIA SPRING and NO
ENEMY BUT TIME (both 15) -- but expect huge surges forward
from FRIDAY (13), FOUNDATION'S EDGE & 2010 (both 5). Also of
UK interest: RODERICK (7), TRANSMIGRATION OF TIMOTHY ARCHER
(7), SILVER METAL LOVER (4). And in the novelettes: 'Myths of
the Near Future'/Ballard (7), 'House on Hollow Mountain'/David
Redd (3).
THE WOOSTER LETTER: "Hero Campbell Award winner Somtow
Sucharitkul, instead of Christmas cards, is sending copies of
his awesome short story 'The Fallen Country' (Elsewhere II),
noting that 'if, by some quirk of fate, you happen to have a
Hugo nomination ballot before you... well, you can't blame me
for trying.'... Speaking of awesome fame, Harlan Ellison is
the only SF superstar to grace the pages of The American
Bachelor's Register, compiled by the learned editors of
Playgirl as a guide to, er, 'hunks'. Ansible readers wishing
to abandon their lives to the conquest of Mt. Ellison are
advised that frontal assault is desirable: 'Don't play panther
games with me,' Ellison warns. 'Don't circle round and round
my fire.' (And hard-hitting new fanzine DT [M.Edwards]
carries the glad news that LAST DANGEROUS VISIONS is Finished,
nearly, and ready for delivery to Houghton Mifflin within the
week, although -- quoth HE -- there was still just time for
Chris Priest to send in a story...)
"Robert Asprin is trying to form a consulting firm to
hustle money from corporations to subsidize cons. Beer
companies like Michelob could subsidize film programmes, for
example. Think: Isaac Asimov sponsored by Wonder Bread, Ted
White courtesy of Dupont (Better Living Through Chemicals),
Jerry Pournelle courtesy of Dow Chemical (Better Living
Through Death)..." (MMW)
STRANGE COMPANIONS: "A US company, I understand, has
decided to use fandom as a tax write-off. It has reportedly
put $600,000 into a corporation that purports to bring famous
Sci-Fi pros to cons, free of charge. Called 'Synergy', it has
a well-paid board of directors consisting of hustling fringe-
fans who apparently talked the company into the idea. (A local
member has sold a Star Trek bridge [is that like a Brooklyn
Bridge? -- DRL] belonging to him to Synergy for ~$20,000.)
Synergy is introducing whoring to fandom; they seem to expect
this reaction, and have been appearing at cons with buttons
asking fans to 'give them a chance' before making up their
minds." (Taral)
BESTSELLERS & THINGS: Huge hubbub in LOCUS and places
about the latest Asimov sequel reaching #3 on the NY Times
bestseller list, only to be overtopped by 2010: A SPACE SEQUEL
at #2. Chris Priest notes that all this praise for our boys
tends to ignore the fact that James A Michener's 'impure sf'
novel SPACE was at #l around then,and adds: "Isn't it strange,
silly and sad how important the best-seller list has suddenly
become to SF writers? My, it seems like only yesterday that I
used to read scornful remarks about writers of
'bestsellers'..." All this wouldn't be so bad if the Asimov
weren't unreadably dull or the Clarke were more than a
competent Clarke pastiche. M.M.Wooster reports that "ACC has
been crashing papers left and right with his publicity tour
for 2010... He informed USA TODAY that the sequel to 2010
'will be called 20,001, and it's promised for New Year's Day,
2000.' ...The Joe Nicholas Memorial Award for best acerbic
review of 1982 goes to Tom Disch, reviewing FOUNDATION'S ITCH
in Inquiry: '.. proved after a few pages' testing to be unfit
for human consumption... Asimov attempts so little and
achieves so much less that a critic shrinks before the task of
describing emptiness so vast... virtually no action save the
movement of puppets' jaws, and the dr a tic impact of the
story falls far short of a Senate filibuster... [Whether it]
will enjoy the success of its antecedent trilogy would seem to
lie in the hands of the ten-to-twelve-year-old segment of the
reading public.' (TD)" (MMW yet again)
CHARLES PLATT REPUDIATES! (See M.M.Wooster's bits in
A30.) "There I was at the world fantasy convention, doing my
best to provide good copy for grubby voyeurs such as he -- and
he got it all wrong. The beer I squirted at Ellen Datlow was
from a bottle, not a can. I was in Kirby McCauley's penthouse
suite, not the more plebeian, overcrowded Ace party. I was not
attired in black leather; indeed, do not own any other than a
jacket and a few lockable wrist and ankle restraints, none of
which I normally wear at social gatherings. And I was not
'given the boot' by Susan Allison; in fact she seemed so
impressed by the simple honesty of my critical statement re Ms
Datlow and her editorial policies that she kindly led me from
McCauley's suite to her own party, perhaps hoping to put my
talents to further use. Adding it up, I find Wooster made four
errors in two sentences, from which I conclude he wrote the
story from hearsay, no doubt unable to attend the events
himself due to amateur status. Tut!" Mr Platt also sends a
bizarre memo from Edelman Public Relations, explaining how
Space Sells and how a programme of Screaming Yellow Zonkers
activities (what?) is planned to increase US Ovaltine sales
via skiffy tie-ins under the benign guidance of 'an expert in
trends in science, computers and SF' -- none other than
Charles Platt. A later note applauds Philcon 1982, held 15 Jan
1983 "in an aridly modern, dully beige downtown hotel
concurrently with a convention of gravestone builders,
possibly a significant omen... The non-art programming was
monumentally dull, encumbered with obscure members who seemed
to have been added, or to have added themselves, at the last
minute. The 'High-Tech SF' panel included not only eg. Hal
Clement but also Susan Shwartz, whose credentials in science
and/or fiction apparently consist of having edited one
anthology. Still, Clement did get time to explain, rather
endearingly, that dangers of nuclear power plants are trivial
compared with dangers in the home such as gas mains and
slippery bathtubs... A mood of rare torpor pervaded most of
Saturday, as five people successively and separately left the
SFWA suite to take afternoon naps in their rooms (and they
meant it)... Generally the SF folk were easily distinguishable
from the tombstone builders in that the latter, in addition to
being respectably dressed and of average weight, were also
more lively." (CP)
STARLIGHT SF: an Ansible spinoff now lurks in the pages
of Prestel, British Telecom's fabulously unpopular viewdata
system. Masterminded by D.Langford, G.Hay (consultant) and
David Babsky (of the Micronet 800 user group -- under brutal
questioning he confesses to having been at school with Brian
Stableford, and appalling revelations are expected any day),
Starlight is already instructing countless dozens of protofans
to vote Hugos to Space Eater and The Science in SF. Famous
pros are invited to send in snippets about their doings -- no
money in it, old chap (as the BBC used to say), but think of
the publicity. Everyone else is invited to punch 6006207 on
the nearest Prestel set, and boggle.
DOUGAL DIXON of AFTER MAN fame turned up unexpectedly at
Cymrucon, complete with that model of his vile Night Stalker
beastie (Hazel was embarrassed to have this horror left in her
arms for some hours while Mr Dixon was otherwise occupied in
the bar). Concerning his non-win of the Hugo -- which Chicon
have so far neglected to tell him about -- he quipped, "Any
system of judging that elects RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK as the
best dramatic presentation must be a little suspect."
COFF: Too late for A30, I received detailed Concrete
Overcoat Fan Fund results from Kev Clarke. 305 votes for 56
nominees were recorded, raising #15.25 each for TAFF & GUFF.
The fans you hate to love: Bob (fake) Shaw 62 votes, Steve
Green 50, Pauline Morgan/Kevin Rattan 17, Kev Clarke 16, Sandy
Brown/Howie Rosenblum 11, Paul Turner 7, Vernon 'Giggles'
Brown/Rory McLean/Chris Baker/Chuck Connor/Dave Baber/
D.Langford 6, Rog Peyton/Brian Smith 5, Jessica Watson/Eve
Harvey/Malcolm Edwards/Alan Dorey/Chuck Partington 4, Jan
Huxley/Jon Cowie/Hans Loose 3, Ian Watson/John Brosnan/
Albacon II Committee/Steve 'Haggis' Rae/Carlton Hill/ Joe
Nicholas/Steve Jones 2. Lots of people were =32nd with 1
vote, including COFF co-administrator Chris Suslowicz, Ken
Eadie, Robert Heinlein and someone called Stephanie Green.
"Thanks to all, and Novacon 12 for programme time," says furry
and easily corrupted Mr Clarke. 6 lousy votes...
DANCON 82 "was rather odd," reports Colin Fine. "The
Danish SF Circle is in a bad way -- still smarting from Dancon
80, which was grandly planned and under-attended; their
publishing business has suffered the depredations of their
landlord, who sent the decorators in without warning them and
had their stock destroyed as rubbish -- they're going to law
over that one -- and there appears to be internal tension
between factions from Sealand and Fyn. Thus this year's
national con was a shoestring operation, comparable to
Colnecon, except that of 50-60 attendees at least 25% were
pro/semipro -- authors, editors, translators. All zines in
evidence were litho-produced, full of reviews, new fiction and
translations of English-language stories; all were on sale; no
sign of the usual. (But when I revealed I could read Danish
several editors pressed them on me.) The con was non-
residential, held in a Community Centre in Valby, a suburb of
Copenhagen. Four meeting rooms, one with continuous films, one
with books (ie. the above zines and the four most recent books
published by Tangent), the programme in the other two
alternately. I sat in on some, trying to understand, but am
now convinced that Danish is impossible as a spoken medium..."
(CF)
CLARKE AGAIN: ACC Secretaryperson Paul Heskett sends
more scraps from the great man's desk, revealing (eg.) that
the Polish crisis is not preventing our old pal Wiktor Bukato
from trying to organize a collection of Clarke shorts in
Polish translation (as early as last September). The usual
drawback of payment-only-within-Poland-in-zlotys is
brilliantly met by Clarke's Countergambit, whereby with a
dazzling smile he reveals that his agents have already
negotiated the first-ever deal for Soviet royalties to be paid
in real money outside the USSR...
LARRY NIVEN addresses this plea to readers of USA TODAY:
"If you insist on bombing [America], I'd rather you used
neutron bombs... because neutron bombs only kill people, not
buildings. If I survive, I'll have something to build
civilization with." Ansible suspects that Larry does not know
a lot about n-bombs and should consult his pal Jerry.
MEDIA MAN R.I.BARYCZ sends appalling facts about ET
ladies' underwear, declares that "Star Trek 3, IN SEARCH OF
SPOCK, will be directed by ol' pointed ears himself," and
spreads rumours about the films Dune ("talk of Sting of The
Police playing Paul... it'll happen in we-have-ways-of-
devaluing-the-peso-gringo Mexico"), 2010 ("Having Kubrick
direct has come to a halt over $. With K I'm not surprised.
Did he really take 35 takes to get Jack Nicholson out of a
snowmobile in Shining?") and: "Harrison Ford's girlfriend who
wrote ET is to write ET2, in which Ma Bell comes to collect a
phone bill. 3000 lightyears etc..." (RIB)
D.G.COMPTON UNSALEABLE IN US MARKET! So proclaims a US
editor who had better remain anonymous, thus dashing
Langfordian hopes which had risen at the surprising
information that a submission's style had "edged into the
Comptonesque." In a world like this, who can be surprised that
Jackie Lichtenberg's HOUSE OF ZEOR (autographed) is selling in
the NY 'Fantasy Archives' shop for -- better sit down --
$75.00?
STUFF THAT EVEN ANSIBLE WON'T PRINT: under this heading
our Malcolm's DT reveals revelations, eg. about Ben Bova's
nonfiction THE HIGH ROAD, 3000 copies of which were bought by
Omni (ed. Ben Bova, then), at terms grossly unfavourable to
Omni but not to BB, and expensively advertised in Omni at a
cost of x thousand dollars transferred to the ad division of
Guccione's empire, achieving an ultimate reported sale of 38
copies. Gee whiz. Ansible, however, draws the line at
revealing which editor of DT and INTERZONE has contrived to
sell a story to INTERZONE: you all know that.
SUFF (Scandinavia-UK Fan Fund) is the eldritch
brainchild of Ahrvid Engholm, who'd like to start a tradition
by bringing a fabulous British fan to Swecon 83 (Stockholm 17-
20 Aug). Required: fundraising to the tune of about #200, a UK
rep to help with this and with publicity, and nifty candidates
who'd like to become an official delegate and guest at
Swecon. Ahrvid even suggests a special subfund to meet
Sweden's high beer prices... Prospective reps or candidates
should write to AE, Maskinistgatan 9 ob, S-117 47 Stockholm,
Sweden. Also: FANAC, the Swedish newszine which began like
ANSIBLE (but in 1963) and grew to resemble LOCUS, folded with
issue 118, December 1982. Founder and editor John-Henri
Holmberg wants to concentrate on the filthy prozine NOVA SF.
Also: Sam Lundwall's new novel CRASH -- "about the wild life
during SFWA meetings in New York" -- is unlikely to be
published outside Sweden. "They'd lynch me," says Sam. Also:
Who's Cherry Wilder? (AH)
MORE EUROMATTERS: The crazed Yugoslav fans, not content
with bidding for Eurocon 1986 and Worldcon 1988, are now eager
to have their 1983 con declared a Eurocon even though Eurocons
are biennial in even-numbered years. Meanwhile the Italians
have taken over World SF, issuing an immense booklet of
Italian SF data which they call a Prontuary. Over to Malcolm:
"Virtually every one of them sounds like a Mafia hitman, and
that peculiar term 'Prontuary' certainly sounds like a place
where corpses end up pretty damn quick." Um.
=============================================================
THE ANSIBLE HIGHER EDUCATION SUPPLEMENT
=============================================================
Cymrucon: 27-28 November 1982, Central Hotel, Cardiff
Phil Palmer
Cymrucon in Caerdydd was special for me as it was the first
time I'd been in strange parts for quite a long time,
reflecting how after you've been to a few cons you find you've
been to most parts of the country. Alison (a colleague) had
recently been to Wales and had remarked that it took so long
to read the bilingual road signs, and parse and pronounce the
Welsh bits, that you'd gone past the turning before you knew
it. "Pooh," I'd said, "you're just a girl. Bilingual road
signs are something boys are good at." But it's true; you do
go sailing past. Yet it's hard to get completely lost when all
you have to do is drive down the M4, and I eventually found my
way to the quite astonishing CENTRAL HOT L. (That's what the
neon sign said; I'm very observant you know.)
This building may have started out quite sensibly, but
has evidently been redesigned by Peake (the labyrinthine
basement), Grouch Marx (the partitioning of the bedrooms: I
never found the room where you had to bang on the wall so your
neighbours could turn your lights out), Escher and Lovecraft
(floors and walls inclined at eldritch and impossible angles,
unbearable for the human mind to comprehend, so you lurched
drunkenly around even when stone cold sober) and Torquemada
(the eponymous central heating system). Some unsung genius had
also situated the HOT L right by the railway line, so that
periodically various unsecured objects could be seen to move
through space for no apparent reason, accompanied by a dep
rumbling noise such as Hollywood has led us to associate with
manifestations of an invisible force. Were only the late great
John W. Campbell still with us then that mighty intellect
would have been at work, driving huge tonnages of freight
through the future universe propelled only by the influences
of huge space-born mega-railways... The Royal Angus it wasn't,
but it lent a certain character to the weekend.
The other remarkable feature of this con was that your
badge didn't have your name on it, so that conversations with
strangers took on an added piquancy. Do I already know this
person? Am I being incredibly rude? The arrangement had its
compensations: I was able to enrol as Sandy Brown for Hugh
Mascetti's Oxcon, promising to pay later. I still have the
receipt. The Machete entertained us at length with talk of
guns and rifles and shooting machines, all of which he's very
fond of. It's similar to talking to someone about computers,
really. He described a Gatling attachment for an automatic
which seems to enable you to blaze off wildly and
indiscriminately in all directions. "Ho ho," chortled Lionel
Fanthorpe, "that would give the local skinheads something to
think about."
I zoomed off on Saturday morning to winkle Caerdydd
founder-fan and local skinhead out of his scratcher, spending
the day being shown high and low spots of the Cambrian
metropolis, in particular something wonderful called Brains'
Dark. After that everything went dark quite satisfyingly: even
the atrocious con disco didn't seem to matter too much. I
remember saying goodbye to Brian Stableford, who'd only been
over for one dat, and apologizing for missing his talk which
everyone said had been jolly good. I'd missed Ian Watson's and
Lionel Fanthorpe's too, after all their hard work and all, so
early next morning I did the only possible thing. I stayed in
bed and missed Dave Langford's. (Well, it would have been
crawling, wouldn't it?)
In case you're thinking that talking to SF fans isn't
sufficient to justify conventioneering, I did go to one talk
on something interesting and new to me. This was Dez Skinn's
and Garry Leach's Item on Warrior comic, of which they are the
editor and an artist respectively. Warrior is excellent, with
detailed, competent draughtsmanship and stylish, imaginative
storylines: it was interesting to get an insight into two
personalities behind it. Garry Leach had sampled the delights
of carry-out curried chicken and chips from the local chippie
the previous evening, and had declared it to be true nectar.
He now withdrew this opinion. In the interests of research I
tried some myself; apart from having my postconvention bowel
movement a little earlier than customary, I can report no
spectacular effects. Still, read Warrior, they have suffered
for their art.
Two images from amid the apres-con blues... One is of
late Saturday night, and Nicholas the Nervous One (Who he? --
Ed) is quizzing me on Welsh pronunciation. Some Radio 1 DJ
clot has offended everyone by rhyming Pontypridd with twenty
quid; though I've managed to say 'Troed-y-Rhiw' earlier in the
day with at least the right noises, if the wrong accent, I am
still English and suspect.
"Say 'Tonypandy'," commands the fluffy one.
"Tonypandy," I answer brightly, although it hasn't
occurred to me that it's pronounced that way until just now:
everyone is too pissed to spot the trick.
The other image is of passing a sofa on Sunday morning
and one exhausted teenager is remarking to another, "You know,
I just can't face the prospect of watching Barbarella again in
a room full of people." Yes, it was that kind of convention.
As I drove back into England the towers of the Severn Bridge
diminished in the rear-view mirror like falling guillotines.
(Phil Palmer)
DAZED THEY WERE, AND BLEARY EYED
Ace reporter Dick Downes saw the programme:
Cymrucon 2 had the same venue as #1, but there was more
of it; in the face of over 500 fans, the Sunday breakfasts
were lacking in content until Ann Looker attacked the
manager's wife with her Presence and the starving were fed at
last. The same complaints about the hotel were made, the same
workmen were deepening the Mohole outside, and a little bird
tells me the venue will change for '83...
High spots for me were the Chris Morgan writers'
workshops and the guests' speeches. Writers and readers alike
cringed and thrilled in turn to the swingeingly erudite Watson
and Stableford, the delightfully earthy garden of Badger-
hunting Fanthorpe, the consummate acting skills of the ever-
mimeful Langford. Watson: "Criticism is like a weed -- it
imitates the plant of Literature while strangling it,
unrecognized in its impostority." Stableford: "Ideas and
themes in SF come in three categories -- Aha! Ho-ho! and
Yeuk!" Fanthorpe: "Come next Beet Plucking, me deary-o..."
(All cringed at RLF's born-again inspirational message at the
end of his speech, poetically calling fans to true religion...
DRL.) Langford: "Breaking this year's pattern of guest
speeches, I shall not discuss the Wittgenstein Academy of
Christian Gardening." Somehow the view one has of the Great
Published changes when one sees them bared to hallucinogenic
cacti, the russell of their kanted philosophy, the sheer
exuberance of their stylistic development-or sees them in the
Real World of negotiation with toxophilite publishers.
Scoop! Shock! Horror! Three fifths of the Fancy Dress
Judges were sexists, and the other two-fifths (both called
Watson-DRL) walked out when they awarded a Mary Whitemouse
Least Dressed award, much more refined than the Breast Dressed
Award at Unicon 3. Oh, what a storm in a D-cup!
My filmgoing was limited to SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE
MARTIANS, a film which (If you'll just step this way, Dick,
the injection won't hurt a bit-ah, he's calming down!) I'm
looking forward to next year's overcrowded programme and
continuous bar, even at those prices: it was a good con.
(Dick Downes)
CONS
1984: Still two strong bids, the controversially named Seacon
84 (Brighton) and 1984con (Blackpool), whose committee
includes several organizers of Seacons 75 and 79 -- oops! The
manager of the Metropole in Brighton assures Seacon 84 that
the Metropole is the better of the two hotels; the manager of
the Pembroke in Blackpool assures the 1984con committee that
the Pembroke is infinitely superior; so it goes. 1984con has
the advantage of cheap beer (currently 66p/pint) and a
committee living close together; Seacon boasts function rooms
offered free of charge and 'something extra' in the form of
1984's European convention, whose international committee
(scattered through 15 countries) can presumably cope with any
difficulties about being widely scattered. Either would run a
good con.
Seacon 84 continues the hard sell in PR Zero: Heinlein
promises to come ("He promised that to Seacon 79 too," said an
embittered 79 spokesman), ditto Ellison if a box is provided
for him to stand on; testimonials from Clarke, Bradbury,
Verne, Wells expected imminently. Is this the future of
Eastercon bids -- huge lists of pro endorsements, with the
holder of the biggest names winning? Plainly such names will
attract thousands. As a minor committee member (without
portfolio) I keep getting asked, "Why must this Eurocon be
combined with Eastercon, when it'll succeed anyway, as Seacon
79 did? Why the insistence on 'Easter or nothing' after
pledges at Channelcon (where the bid was formally announced)
and Monchengladbach (where the right to hold Eurocon was won)
that if Seacon 84 failed to win Eastercon then they'd run
Eurocon later in 1984?" The traditional wisdom is that
Eurocons do better when combined with national cons -- ie.
that without the prop of the existing Eastercon, Seacon 84
might fail. It now seems failure-proof: and rude fans say,
approximately, "How dare Seacon committee members accuse the
rival bid's supporters of chauvinism and xenophobia, when
Seacon 84 has itself created the situation whereby the
vagaries of Eastercon voting can deprive us all of the
priceless benefits of Eurocon?" (Teacup storm: Harry Bell
complains that contrary to the orange Seacon 84 flyer, most
Gannetfans support Blackpool; John Brunner's pious reply
denounces this as a '"wogs begin at Calais" attitude'; Malcolm
Edwards's Blackpool committee protests bitterly.)
OK. Unlike (apparently) some Seacon 84 zealots, I still
agree that fans should be able to choose the Eastercon they
want, and that a choice is a good thing ... though I rather
wish Seacon 84 had aimed to outdo '79 with a colossal August
Bank Holiday con, thus avoiding the current dilemma.
(Unfortunately the decision to go for Eastercon and only
Eastercon was taken before a Seacon 84 steering committee was
formed, and was never discussed in committee: reportedly it's
now too late.) As it is, the Seacon 84 Eastercon bid must
either face Edwardsian mutterings about 'moral blackmail', or
weaken its case by promising after all to do an August (say)
Eurocon should the voting go against it -- in which case fans
might vote for Blackpool on the theory that, this way, both
committees get to do their stuff. If, most improbably, Seacon
84 does lose Eastercon, the committee (and/or the BSFA, which
as our national SF organization is nominally Responsible
despite a theoretical impartiality) should arguably try to
organize Eurocon later in 84 as originally promised, rather
than wetly let it default to Ghent.
Better, I think, to have some advance discussion of
these matters than stay grimly silent until the bidding
session at Albacon (I recall with loathing how most of the
Metrocon bid's question time was occupied by an idiot who kept
asking about car-parks and another who kept answering him --
oops, that slipped out, sorry boss). Suppose those Scots who
are fanatical about "no free rooms" learn only at the last
instant that Eurocon statutes require all the expenses of four
international committee bosses (as well as four GoHs) to be
met from con funds? Alarming revelations about 1984con, and
comments on the above, will be eagerly welcomed.
Current Presupporter Scores: 1984con (Blackpool) 75+,
Seacon 84 (Brighton) 225+. Oh, the tension! RaCon, imminent as
I type this, will doubtless change all.
CONVENTION CALENDAR
The notes below merely update and correct the version to be
found in A30 (supplement, back cover), and incorporate the
post-Cymrucon flyer.
The Great London SF Convention (12-14 Aug 83, Grosvenor
Hotel, London): media thing, GoH J.Doohan, #3.50 daily/#5 for
3 days. Bizarrely, this is run from the US (Syndicate Inc, Box
55007, Tulsa, OK 74155) and I've seen no UK publicity: all
right, sauce for the goose etc, I shall shortly be organizing
a bid for a British Worldcon to be held in (say) Flushing, NY.
Triple C Con (26-29 Aug, Grand Hotel, Brum): 16th UK
Trekkiething. #6 supp #13 att to 39 Nelson St, Gloucester, GL1
4QX.
Silicon 7 (26-29 Aug, Grosvenor Hotel, Newcastle); the
facts at last, after rude letters of correction from Harry
Bell! #4 att to 2 Seaton Avenue, Newsham, Blyth,
Northumberland. Damn these crackly phone lines...
Unicon 4 (2-4 Sept, U of Essex) confirms John Sladek as
main GoH.
Mythcon (16-18 Sept, Grand Hotel, Brum): GoHs Joy Chant,
Bryan Talbot, Mat Irvine; #2 supp #8 att; no conversions after
1 Sept; the awkward sods ask that you send not money but SAE
for a proper bureaucratic Registration Form (to 158 West Way,
Raynes Park, London, SW20 8LS). Still more encouragingly,
"The Committee reserve the right to refuse admission." Even if
they've taken your money?
Novacon 13 (4-6 Nov, Brum, rumoured venue change
devolves as usual to Royal Angus Hotel): GoH Lisa Tuttle. #7
att. In my innocence I thought money should be sent to Paul
Oldroyd & Chris Donaldson (46 Colwyn Rd, Beeston, Leeds LS11
6PY), but the infallible Brum SF Group Newsletter corrects
this to Phill Probert & Eunice Pearson, Apt 2, 1 Broughton Rd,
Handsworth, Birmingham B20.
Oxcon 84 (late Aug/early Sept, in some Oxford college --
probably not Brasenose, famous for producing Martin Hoare,
Dave Langford and Jack Profumo): #1 pre-supp to 28 Asquith Rd,
Rose Hill, Oxford, OX4 4RH. This is a bid for the peripatetic
Unicon -- there's another, data not to hand. Evil Hugh
Mascetti's Oxcon cohorts little know that even now, the
ancient sages of Unicon (C.Hughes, J.Fairey, J. Huxley) are
plotting a Unicon Charter laying down rules too irksome to
list... thus achieving the longed-for guidelines several
decades quicker than Eastercon.
Santacon (14-16 Dec, Leeds Dragonara) is, as predicted
in A30, a 1984 event.
Worldcon Yugoslavia (1988) is, of course, merely a bid
so far. Info: Sfera, Ivanicgradaka 41A, 41000 Zagreb. Or c/o
the eligible bachelor whose Slavic good looks are the talk of
Hanwell: Gerry Webb, 67 Shakespeare Rd, Hanwell, W.7.
European Cons In General are well covered in Roelof G's
Shards of Babel (see masthead for address): vile, insular,
chauvinist Ansible shiftily claims a lack of space for
coverage of more than events of obvious UK fannish interest.
CLUB SPOT
(Idiosyncratic choices only; scene much better covered by
BSFA, etc):
Glomerule: The Reading SF (Reading) Group: meets on 3rd
Thursday of each month to debate on the role of SF in beer,
7.30-8pm onward. The former pub has installed a disco and
driven out even deaf Langford to the RAILWAY TAVERN almost
next door: it's still right out of BR station, left after bus
station, and just up the hill. Hic.
New Southend Group: "held an open night mid-Jan; fiasco
from start to finish, talk on SF, when half the members think
it begins and ends with ET, was asking for trouble. At least
one guy walked out while we were there, muttering 'Sod this
crap, I read books.' Trouble is that this sort of thing
actively discourages the people they should be trying to
attract; and they're labouring under the delusion that a group
needs at least 50 members to succeed. Undaunted, they're now
prattling happily about running a con next year, none having
yet been to one..." (Alex Stewart)
COA
CHRIS BAILEY and FOCUS, 23 Clevedon Rd, London, SE20 7QQ ::
PAUL & JUDY BEGG, 37 Vesper Gate Dr, Kirkstall, Leeds, LS5 3RD
:: PETER COHEN, 68 Chatsworth Ave, Cosham, Portsmouth, Hants
:: PHILIP COLLINS, 7 Colchester Rd, Leyton, London, E10 6HA ::
LIONEL and PATRICIA FANTHORPE, 'Rivendell', 48 Claude Rd,
Cardiff, CF2 3QA :: CHRIS & PAULINE MORGAN, 321 Sarehole Rd,
Hall Green, Birmingham B28 0AL :: CYRIL SIMSA, 15 Holland St,
Cambridge, CB4 :: KEVIN SMITH, 53 Altrincham Rd, Gatley,
Cheshire, SK8 4EL :: PHIL & LIZ STEPHENSON-PAYNE, 'Imladris',
25a Copgrove Rd, Leeds, LS8 2SP :: JON WAITE, 1st Floor Flat,
47 Cintra Park, London, SE 19 :: JON WALLACE [a non-COA --
some of his mail's been bouncing with Not Known At This
Address markings, but he's still at:] 21 Charleston St,
Dundee, DD2 4RG :: ASHLEY WATKINS, Flat 3, 2a The Leas,
Westcliff-on-Sea, Essex, SS0 7ST
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
ENGAGEMENTS & THINGS: Spring approaches, the year's first
fanzines peep shyly through the soil, and the young fan's
fancy turns to wedding bells and rotten cliches. Steve Green
and Ann Thomas; Kev Smith and (after eleven years of cautious
hesitation) Diana Reed; Peter Nicholls and Clare Coney (who
aim to marry in July): all have attained that state which is
the opposite of 'vacant'. Peter, alas, has been suffering from
broken ribs sustained in a ski mishap: although he's still in
semi-amicable dispute with Brian Stableford and D.Langford
over Sci in Skiffy royalties, it is not true that his first
Get Well card was a telegram from Brian saying "That was the
first warning"... D.WEST'S BANE: tell it not in Bingley, but
another famous fanzine reprint has emerged -- 4 issues of Lee
Hoffman's Quandry in facsimile, $5 from Joe Siclari, 4599 NW
5th Ave, Boca Raton, FL 33431, USA. Also of peripheral
interest: Ethel Lindsay has privately published a
bibliography of detective-genre reference books, #2 plus
postage (26p): her subsidiary aim of including all nonfiction
by mystery authors may be overambitious, eg. she cites 9 out
of about 90 G.K.Chesterton titles. 69 Barry Rd, Carnoustie,
Angus, DD7 7QQ... WITHOUT COMMENT: "6.5pm: Riverside. GLC
leader Ken Livingstone is a science fiction buff and reviews
ET." (Express TV guide 6 Dec)... RIP: Joan Hunter Holly of The
Flying Eyes fame (19 Oct)... HELP WANTED: Joy Hibbert plans to
run a minibus from (presumably) Stoke-on-Trent or thereabouts
to Albacon 11, cost approx #11/head -- phone (0782) 271070,
and while you're at it, advise her on how to run her WEA
course in SF after Easter. Also: your Editor needs urgently to
know the price asked in remainder shops recently (or even
better, that at which it was offered to them) for the
Langford/Morgan Facts & Fallacies -- remaindered in breach of
contract by Webb & Bower, who are now asking a nonsensical
price for the few remaining copies... KURT VONNEGUT is
flashing through England this month to promote his latest,
Deadeye Dick (sequel titled Mexican Pete is not expected)...
Oh, I can't resist it: Andromeda Bookshop's top authors for 82
were (1) Wolfe; (=2) May, Adams, Dicks; (5) Harrison; (6)
Pournelle; (7) Langford; (=8) Herbert, McIntyre, Niven ho ho.
Perhaps more interesting are the top publishers -- (1) Futura;
(2) Arrow; (3) Star/Target (presumably on the strength of Dr
Who books); (4) Pan; (5) NEL; (6) Sphere; (7) Grenada; (8)
Corgi; (9) Fontana; (10) Hamlyn; (11) Penguin/Puffin; (12)
Magnum/Methuen; (13) Unwin; (14) Coronet (with no points at
all -- scores being calculated on books in the shop's monthly
Top Ten only)... SIDNEY JORDAN of Jeff Hawke lives, and has
lately been the great and good friend of Marise Morland-
Chapman (High Wycombe), who threatens to bring him to Reading
meetings as GoH... NAUGHTY PARTS: French publishers J'ai Lu
and JC Lattes are operating an interesting anti-censorship,
translating 'lowbrow adventure SF novels' with added spicy sex
scenes. "I can picture a profitable smuggling trade of the
'complete, desabridged' French editions towards the prude-but-
frustrated countries (UK, USA) where only the mere original
text was published..." (Pascal Thomas in SoB)...
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Sacred Texts, of which it has been said, by Ted White,
frequently! (Soon available in 1000-page facsimile edition
from Bergeron & Nielsen Hayden Reprints [1939] Inc)...
WRITE NOW to The Master, 48 Norman St, Bingley, W Yorks,
BD16 4JT, enclosing only the first of many 50p pieces and
saying, in 20,000 words or more, "Yes! I want to be a D.WEST
GROUPIE!" HURRY -- or the CHAIN will be BROKEN!!!
=============================================================
A MODEST PROPOSAL: "With regard to the fanzine Hugo problem,
my suggestion is to divide the number of votes cast by the
circulation of the zine -- with, say, a minimum print run of
about 100 to qualify." (Benedict Cullum) Fun, but implausible
(tips the balance too far "against" giant-circulation mags
whose readers greatly outnumber Hugo voters)... IAN WATSON
REVEALS the secrets of his first appearance in print -- a
piece on growing cacti in a gardening mag, published when he
was 13. Later, infused with Aldous Huxley, he wrote on
'Growing the Sacred cactus' (peyote), and even tried some, but
ate the wrong bit: all that came through the doors of
perception was vague nausea... PETER ROBERTS wants to sell of
1000s of fanzines and is preparing a List: send wants and SAE
to Gafiate's Retreat, 36 Western Rd, Torquay, TQ1 4RL... JIM
BARKER is now so famous and successful an artist (cartoons for
Mike Rohan's book on micros, greetings card designs Real Ale
ad artwork, comics, you name it) that he's thinking of leasing
an office/studio rather than work at home. His second Great
Pork Pie Race, at Albacon 11, invites entries -- criterion
this year is 'the most fannish means' of transporting the pie
from A to B... CALIFORNIA BOOK AUCTION (24 Feb) features all
the goodies you hoped you'd never find, eg. rare copies of
Fahrenheit 451 and even Firestarter bound in asbestos. Am
eagerly searching for that rare edition of Lovecraft bound in
gorgonzola... LANCS SF: P.Pinto protests that I failed to give
an address for his IMT book traders (45 Blades St, Lancaster,
LA1 1TS) or to mention the wonderful meetings on 1st Wed each
month there and at the Crown pub. Well, I won't, so there...
THE FANGS OF BOSTOCK: Simon B. is doing a lewd Dracula send-up
on video (he's director), and nude virgins are eagerly
solicited -- sex unspecified.
=============================================================
CREDITS: C.Priest (Pedantry), Hazel (Hand-Lettering),
JH/JMN/KJS/DRL (Groupie Ad)
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS: Italian?
That word prontuary (directory? see end of p.2) baffles all
our references except one 1878 Italian dictionary...
PRONTUARIA: Vizio che nasce
dall'ira, sfacciataggine.
A vice born out of wrath? Impudence/facetiousness?
So, no doubt, is
ANSIBLE 31, from:
94 London Rd, Reading,
Berks, RG1 5AU
ANSIBLE 33, June 1983: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by MIKE SCOTT ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 33: the slightly tardy post-Easter (June) issue of a
frequent (allegedly) SF (allegedly) newsletter (alleged) from
a purported Dave Langford at his rumoured address 94 LONDON
ROAD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU -- a whole year there, and
3 fans a week are still asking whether the postcode means
we're 465 million miles from the nearest post office.
SUBSCRIPTIONS, tediously and regrettably, are up again: #2
for 7 issues anywhere (airmailed outside UK). Sterling notes
or cheques to me, also $ bills; Giro transfer to a/c 24 523
0408; $US cheques to Burns, 23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY
11550; Euroshekels to Goudriaan, Postbus 589, 8200 AN
Lelystad, Netherlands. Grovelling thanks to Keith `Labels'
Freeman, ever ready to SUBDUE lapsed fans, to poll-topping
artist Pete Lyon (above) and to Leigh Edmonds for madly
volunteering to distribute Aussie copies. Also, thanks and a
free issue each to the Ansible Poll voters: Ashworth (H&M),
Bailey, Berry, Brazier, Brown (S), Carol, Charnock (G),
Collins, Connor, Coxhead, Darroch, Day, Earp, Edwards (L&M),
Ferguson, Ford, Frost, Garnett, Goudriaan, Hanna, Hansen,
Harries, Hill, Jarrold, Lake, Lowe, Nielsen Hayden, Nicholas,
Ounsley, Owen, Palmer, Pardoe, Polley, Robertson (J), Rose,
Shearman, Sherwood, Suter, Taylor, Thomas, Tudor, Vincent,
Wareham, Warminger, Watkins, Wells, West, Whiteoak, Wood,
Yon. While we're still in the boring small print, I offer by
unpopular request the fabulous Circulation Figures. As of 31
May, Ansible has 327 unlucky recipients, 259 in the British
Isles and 68 outside. In detail: England 220, Scotland 27,
Wales 7, N. Ireland & Eire 2 each, IOM 1. USA 35, Australia
11, Sweden & Canada 5 each, W. Germany 3, Finland 2, Belgium,
Egypt, France, Greece, Italy, Japan & Netherlands 1 each.
Print run is currently 400; many back issues available at
ludicrous prices. Yawn...
=============================================================
THE 1982-3 CHECKPOINT/ANSIBLE FAN POLL: A record 52 fans
voted in this, the 12th annual informal poll covering fan
doings from Easter to Easter. Here we go --
BEST BRITISH FANZINE: 37 titles (and an apa) nominated. 5
points given for a 1st-place vote, 4 for 2nd, etc (same
system in next two categories); ANSIBLE ineligible; last
year's positions in brackets after score. 1) TAPPEN (141pts)
(1st): Malcolm Edwards, 28 Duckett Rd, London N4 1BN;
available whimsically; two issues, #4 and #5 in 1982-3.
Tappen's popularity is loathsomely displayed by Malcolm's
success in publishing the best single issue, with the =best
cover by the best artist plus the best article from the
almost best fanwriter. Good grief. Such elitism... 2) STILL
IT MOVES (47pts) (2nd): Simon Ounsley, 21 The Village St,
Leeds, LS4 2PR; available for the usual; one issue, #3.
Another fat genzine like Tappen though a little sloppier;
eccentric material (eg. article on Constable) and nifty
personal stuff from famous S.Ounsley. 3) Epsilon (43pts)
(4th): Rob Hansen, 9a Greenleaf Rd, East Ham, London E6 1DX;
available for the usual; at least two issues, #12 and #13.
Despite occasional contributions, Epsilon scores highest for
its letter column and Rob himself talking sense about
whatever burning fannish issue is going. 4) INDIAN SCOUT
(34pts) (7th): the Red Army Choir c/o Sandy Brown, 18 Gordon
Tce, Blantyre, Scotland, G72 9NA; available inexplicably; the
single issue of the year is billed as #19 but appears to be
#2, or maybe... h'm. Noted for triffic (and even =best)
covers and violent outbreaks of street credibility -- also
for leaving BSFA reviewers and Ansible editors at a loss for
words. 5) TWLL-DDU (32pts) (-): me; available usually; one
issue, #20, which I still haven't finished distributing
because I am a lazy sod. Contains, almost exclusively, me.
Also with 5+ points: Out of the Blue (29); Drunkard's Talk,
Microwave, Wallbanger (28); This Never Happens (23); Crystal
Ship, Tiger Tea (22); The Chocolates of Lust, The Zine That
Has No Name (14); Second-Hand Wave (13); Nabu, Small Friendly
Dog, Twentythird (12); Pig on the Wall (11); Felicity (10);
Creature from the Typing Pool (6). Also 8 points were scored
by The Women's Periodical, which as an apa is presumably not
a single fanzine... or is it?
BEST BRITISH FANWRITER: 43 fans were nominated. 1) DAVE
LANGFORD (91pts) (2nd) -- er, thanks; 2) D.WEST (88pts)
(=12th) -- another vote would put D first, an index of the
huge reaction to his famous and only 1982-3 article
`Performance'; 3) LINDA PICKERSGILL (69pts -- h'm) (=10th) --
both triffic and prolific, Linda had more pieces nominated
as best article than anyone else; 4) CHRIS ATKINSON (66pts)
(1st) -- still in the realms of glory despite publishing only
a couple of pieces, both nominated etc etc; 5) JIMMY ROBERTSON
(53pts) (3rd) -- confused everyone by folding then reviving
23rd but still has Street Credibility, whatever that is. Also:
Simon Ounsley (46); Malcolm Edwards (33); Skel (20); Alan
Ferguson (17); Rob Hansen (14); Phil Palmer (13); Eve Harvey,
Christina Lake (11); Chris Evans (10); Owen Whiteoak (9); Nick
Lowe (8); John D Owen (7); Bill Carlin, Kate Davies (6).
BEST BRITISH FANARTIST: 31 British residents nominated, plus 3
ineligible Americans (all scored <6pts, plus `No Award'
(Ditto). I'm too cautious to comment here on Art... 1) PETE
LYON (128pts) (1st); 2) ROB HANSEN (94pts) (2nd); 3) HARRY
BELL (57pts) (5th); 4) D.WEST (54pts) (4th); 5) JIM BARKER
(49pts) (3rd). Not much movement in the `top 5'. Also: Atom
(35); Margaret Welbank (31); Anne Warren (25); John McFarlane
(21_; Shep Kirkbride (19); Martin Helsdon (14); Dave Harwood
(11); Dave Collins, Harry Turner (6).
BEST SINGLE ISSUE: 36 issues of 29 different Britzines
nominated, plus one ineligible US zine (1 vote only). 1)
Tappen 5 (Malcolm Edwards) (20 votes); 2) Felicity (Jimmy
Robertson) (13); 3) The Zine That Has No Name 3 (Skel) (11);
4) Tiger Tea 1 (Linda Pickersgill and her Periodic Women)
(10); -5) Indian Scout 1983 Annual (Red Army Choir) & Still
It Moves 3 (Simon Ounsley) (each 7). Also: The Chocolates of
Lust 2, Microwave 5, Tappen 4, When Yngvi Was A Louse (4);
Epsilon 13, Out of the Blue 4, Spook 1, Twll-Ddu 20,
Wallbanger 6 (3); Crystal Ship 6, Shallow End 1, This Never
Happens 3 (2).
BEST ARTICLE/COLUMN: 58 items nominated. 1) `Performance'/
D.West/Tappen 5 (24 votes! Never seen anything like it); 2)
`Desert Island Lavatories'/Nick Lowe/Chocs of Lust 2 (5); =3)
`Desperate Fun'/Linda Pickersgill/OotB 4, `How Women Get
Pregnant'/Linda P/OotB 5, `Return to Red River'/Bill Carlin/
Indian Scout, `When Fandoms Collide'/Bob Shaw/TZTHNN,
[Untitled house-move horror stories]/your editor/Cloud
Chamber 13/17 (all 4 votes). Also: `Asking For It'/ Atkinson/
Tappen 5, `Bangers & Mash'/Lyon/2HW, `Life with the Loonies 2
1/2'/Atkinson/T4, `Making of BOLLARDS II'/Ounsley/SIM 3 (all
3); `...Blue Eyes...'/Robertson/Felicity, `Case of Home-
icide'/Ounsley/SIM, `Fan Wars'/Davies/TT, `Go for your
Goon'/Atom/Mic 5, `Making the Most of your Woodcock'/
Welbank/TT, [untitled?]/Ferguson/Felicity (all that bloody
long list with 2 votes exactly). Incidentally, Linda
Pickersgill collected 10 votes spread over 4 separate
articles.
BEST FANZINE COVER: 32 covers from 26 different fanzines were
nominated, plus a single vote for `Hold Over Funds'. =1) Pete
Lyon/Tappen 5, John McFarlane/Indian Scout (8); 3) John
McFarlane/Felicity (7); =4) Pete Lyon/2nd Hand Wave (Autumn
82), Margaret Welbank/The Chocs of Lust 2, Harry Hansen & Rob
Bell/Epsilon 13 (all with 6 votes). Also: Barker/Wallbanger
7, Steffan/Tappen 4 (5); Lyon/SIM, Hanbellsen/Epsilon 12 (4);
Fox/Crystal Ship 7, Pickersgill (presumably)/Tiger Tea,
Turner/Microwave 3, Hansen/TD20 (3); Bell/Mic 4, Lyon/
Earthquake Country (2). Here P.Lyon got 23 votes spread over 7
covers, and I let D.Steffan in since though a colonial he did
a BRITISH fnz cover...
WORST THING OF 1982-3: no less than 68 items nominated. 1) THE
FAKE BOB SHAW on numerous counts (14 votes); 2) JOHN BRUNNER
(6); 3) KEITH WALKER'S FANZINES (5); =4) ROB HANSEN for
unprintably sexist reasons -- shame on a certain caddish
voting bloc in Leeds, SHALLOW END, OUR WONDERFUL TORY
GOVERNMENT and THE VICTORY OF THE BRIGHTON 1984 EASTERCON BID
(all 4 votes). Both Keith and Bob were mentioned last time.
Also: Convention Bid Fanaticism, the Falklands Affair, the
Mysterious Nonappearing Matrix, Novacon 12 (all 3); Albacon
II Hotel Food, Crystal Ship, ET, Joe Nicholas (all 2). After
the extravagant pro and con reactions to `Performance' I
thought it might figure here as well as in `Best Article':
not so unless we conflate the categories (1 vote apiece)
`Performance' and `The D.West Cult'. Cult?
THE DEAD PAST: Ten years ago, Peter Roberts's Checkpoint 36
featured the second British fan poll `since the days of
Skyrack'. 24 fans voted and the favourites for best fanzine,
writer and artist were , respectively, Egg (P.Roberts), Ian
Williams and curiously timeless Harry Bell. Ten years before
THAT, Ron Bennett's Skyrack 51 revealed the 26 voters'
favourites in the same categories to be Skyrack itself, Walt
Willis and curiously timeless Arthur `Atom' Thomson.
BSFA AWARDS: Almost as cosmically influential as the Ansible
poll, the BoSFA non-trophies for 1982 work were presented, as
it were, at Albacon II -- to Helliconia Spring (novel),
`Kitemaster'/K.Roberts (short), Blade Runner (media) and Tim
White (artist).
NEBULA AWARDS were this year unenlivened by withdrawals and
acrimony (though on a recent US trip Lisa Tuttle was
depressed to hear the total coverage of SFWA Forum of late
was `Tuttle and word processors'. NOVEL No Enemy But Time
(Bishop); NOVELLA `Another Orphan' (John Kessel); NOVELETTE
`Fire Watch' (Connie Willis); SHORT `A Letter from the
Clearys' (also Connie Willis).
HUGO NOMINATIONS: the award that's almost as respected as the
Soviet electoral system. Data arrived in predictable stages:
over a period of about three weeks came File 770, Locus and
SFC, all with detailed voting statistics; then at last I had
a letter from the Worldcon breaking the glad news of my
nomination (no other details); and finally came a release for
Ansible scoop publication, with all those difficult
statistics omitted. Not that I would complain, oh no. NOVEL:
Foundation's Edge, The Pride of Chanur (Cherryh), 2010,
Friday, Courtship Rite (Kingsbury), The Sword of the Lictor.
(Voting spread 96 to 189 votes.) NOVELLA: `The Postman'
(Brin/IASFM), `Brainchild' (DelanEy/Analog), `Another Orphan'
(Kessel/F&SF), `Unsound Variations' (Martin/Amazing), `Souls'
(Russ/F&SF). (52-77) NOVELETTE: `Nightlife' (Eisenstein/F&SF),
`Swarm' (Sterling/F&SF), `Aquila' (Sucharitkul/IASFM), `Fire
Watch' (Willis/IASFM), `Pawn's Gambit' (Zahn/Analog). (43-49)
SHORT: `Sur' (LeGuin/Compass Rose), `Melancholy Elephants'
(Robinson/Analog), `Spider Rose' (Sterling/F&SF), `Boy Who
Waterskied to Forever' (Tiptree/F&SF), `Ike at the Mike'
(Waldrop/Omni). (36-55) NONFIC: The World of the Dark Crystal
(Froud), Isaac Asimov: The Foundations of SF (Gunn), Engines
of the Night (Malzberg), Reader's Guide to Fantasy (Searles/
Meacham/Franklin), Fear Itself: The Horror Fiction of Stephen
King (Underwood/Miller). (32-60) DRAMATIC: Blade Runner, Dark
Crystal, ET, Road Warrior (Mad Max II), Start Trek II: The
Overacting of Khan. (119-278) PRO EDITOR: Terry Carr, Ed
Ferman, David Hartwell, Stanley Schmidt, George Scithers.
(85-191) (same as last year) ARTIST: Kelly Freas, Don Maitz,
Rowena Morrill, Barclay Shaw, Darrell Sweet, Michael Whelan.
(49-188) FANZINE: Fantasy Newsletter, File 770, Locus, SF
Chronicle, SF Review. (45-123) FANWRITER: Dick Geis, Mike
Glyer, Arthur Hlavaty, Dave Langford. (same as last year)
(32-46) FANARTIST: Alexis Gilliland, Joan Hanke-Woods, William
Rotsler, Stu Shiffman, Dan Steffan. (19-65) A total of 660
ballots were rushed in by a membership of about 4500 (it's
since topped 5000) -- about 15% turnout.
JOHN W CAMPBELL AWARD for most overrated new writer: Joseph H
Delaney, Lisa Goldstein, Sandra Miesel, Warren G Norwood,
David R Palmer, Paul O Williams. (19-34)
PHILIP DICK MEMORIAL AWARD for best 1982 original SF paperback
went to Rudy Rucker's Software, with a runner-up award to Ray
Nelson's The Prometheus Man. Deciphering the delicate
euphemisms of US newszines leads one to believe that Rucker
was understandably as gratified as a newt. Next year's
judges: Algis Budrys, John Clute, Anthony Wolk.
MISCELLANEOUS OTHER AWARDS: American Book Award (original pb)
to Lisa Goldstein's The Red Magician; #1000 Scottish Book of
Year award to Alasdair Gray's Lanark; the little-known Balrog
fantasy award is working at becoming less known (reports
Darrell Schweitzer), with successive ballot forms arriving
after the nominations deadline, with numerous ineligible items
on the ballot (SFC), with Stephen King shortlisted as Best
Artist... Ditmar (Australia) has, in the International
section: No Enemy But Time, The One Tree, Riddley Walker,
Roderick. (Thyme)
MARKET MEANDERINGS: Reality, the magazine of `technology
fiction' still hangs fire though not for the usual financial
reasons -- it seems that despite submissions from such as van
Vogt, there's a distinct `tf story flow problem', exacerbated
in the eyes of mastermind Maurice Goldsmith by sf authors'
depressing distrustfulness of wonderful future technology...
Interzone has lost Malcolm Edwards, who is overcome with
Gollancz and freelance responsibilities (not to mention the
staggering realization that selling stories to IZ is far more
profitable that being an unpaid editorial collectivist): the
official address is now Dave Pringle's, 124 Osborne Rd,
Brighton, BN1 6LU... Imagine, the TSR adventure games mag,
has reached its 3rd issue at #1 a go; games fans were
apparently unimpressed by the first two, but fiction is being
bought by jolly Asst Ed P.Cockburn, TSR(UK)Ltd, The Mill,
Rathmore Rd, Cambridge, CB1 4AD... White Dwarf, longer-
running games mag, appears to be reacting to Imagine's
challenge by also running a book review column (I do WD's and
Dave Pringle does I's -- so all you authors/publishers make
sure we get your stuff, eh?), with regular fiction -- both f
and sf -- likely to appear soon: 27/29 Sunbeam Rd, London,
NW10 6JP... Imago: The Worlds of Fantasy is planned for July,
chief editor Richard Monaco: said to be glossy, highly visual,
96pp, initial print run 180,000 copies, planned fiction
payments 5- 7cents/word. Chief promised attraction is a gossip
column by Charles Platt, who is folding Patchin Review owing
to lack of time, after the coming 7th issue (CP)... Network
News (224 St NE, Washington DC 20002) may pay for your old
fan articles, hints newly apotheosed Associate Ed. Martin
Morse Wooster: `always interested in offbeat "fannish" looks
at life overseas... Write for me as you would for Tappen, not
New Statesman.' Martin wants no grubby fanzines sent to his
work address, however. (D.West Interjects: `Being briefly in
possession of a copy of Curtis Smith's 20th Century SF Writers
I noticed a couple of entries by Ansible's very own Martian
Moose Worster. I see he credits both Ted White and Dick
Lupoff with being sole founders of Comics Fandom, and speaks
less than respectfully of TW's achievements as a pro. Does
this mean anything? I think we should be told.')... DRUNKEN
DRAGON PRESS: for the umpteenth time I've carefully observed
a DNQ request only to be scooped in print for my pains (by
Mike Yon). Rats. This is Rog Peyton's long-dreamed-of small
publishing house, aimed to produce signed limited editions of
(a) assorted Lisa Tuttle stories to coincide with her GoH
appearance at Novacon 13; (b) all of Jim White's out-of-print
`Hospital Station' books, in sequence; (c) ???... LONDON BOOK
FAIR: `Next to nothing of sf interest,' reports Paul Barnett:
`tried to say hello to Peter Nicholls at the Multimedia
stand, but every time I went past he was deeply involved with
earnest discussions with rabid Yanks. Or his colleagues were
doing the earnestly discussing bit while he nodded his head
and grunted every 30 seconds or so to show he was listening --
certainly there was a strong glaze on the eyeballs... This
wasn't true of Maxim Jakubowski who, in the shape of Zomba
Books, was adopting an upfront, thrusting, aggressive
posture. Zomba had a launch party at which, so MJ tells me, a
rock group did their best to annoy Langford, only Langford
wasn't there. On the Zomba stand I spotted the second
frankest exploitation title of the Fair, Shape Up For Sex.
The first frankest exploitation title was on the Multimedia
stand: in the wake of Manwatching and Mindwatching, they had
the dummy for Sexwatching. I probed the deepest recesses of
my brain trying to work out what the hell the book could
actually be about...' (PB) RESHUFFLES: Wm Collins have bought
Granada for #7.9M, probably bad news for sf as the exiguous
Fontana/Collins and the extensive Granada sf lines are
unlikely to go on competing (& Collins now own a third of Pan
too)... Lovable Richard Evans of Arrow sf fame is now an
editorial director at Futura, some way from the sf front line
with Peter Lavery (Lavory? Depends who you ask) from Hamlyn
cracking the whip over hapless sf authors at Arrow...
Frederick Muller Ltd, the hardback house, was just bought
from HTV by two of its directors, Anthonies White & Blond:
Langford cringes, having a contract with FM... Greg Benford
reports: `Sf business scene looks bleak over here with slow
recovery starting. The Baen/Dell deal, whereby Tor would
package and Dell distribute a new line of pbs is dead --
leading to Baen releasing titles held for possible buy...'
SEVERAL WORDS ON ALBACON II ::
YET ANOTHER BORING ANSIBLE CONVENTION SUPPLEMENT
AVEDON CAROL rushed the full, uncensored text of her Albacon
notes: "They tell me that Albacon II was Not So Hot as
Eastercons go, organizationally a mess and all that, but I
couldn't tell. I had the good luck to be mostly unfamiliar
with the normal run of local fanpolitics, and I wasn't in on
the gory details, which I must say I found refreshing. Dave
Langford showed up when he was supposed to, which was good
enough for me. I had no trouble finding the Fanroom, and
therefore the fans, which is the main thing. So as far as i
was concerned everything was fine. My room was comfortable
and conveniently located. I loved being able to make myself a
cup of tea in the morning without having to get dressed
first, and there were plenty of towels... Must say I got a
bit tired of the same old fish for lunch every day, and
breakfast was too early. I certainly would have preferred a
better grade of soft drink, but the bartender who kept
grabbing his crotch supplied an interesting floorshow. I do
which, however, that D.West would take up a game which makes a
more interesting spectator sport... And everyone was really
just absolutely triffic and you see if I write my TAFF report
right now it will be all mushy and effusive and even maudlin
and not very funny and -- shit, now I know why no one ever
finishes a TAFF report." (AC)
TERRY CARR was suspicious: "I wonder if [Avedon] proved to be
as wonderful as you expected. So far I have only her report-
in-part on her trip, which seems to make it clear that SHE at
least had a fine time; but I know you Brits, your politeness
and all, especially to TAFF delegates, and I have to wonder:
Sure, I know you threw up on her shoes and called her `chick',
friendly as you are, but what else? Did you show her the Tower
of London where uppity females were incarcerated before you
cut off their heads? Did you induce her to eat fish-and-fries,
that Brit dish that makes McDonalds burgers taste like manna?
Did you introduce her to a modern incarnation of Richard III
without having Josephine Tey to stand by and explain that
everything he did to her served a greater purpose? I bet you
didn't; and I further bet that Avedon will be too polite to
mention it in her TAFF report..." (Elsewhere in the same
letter:) "Can it be that even Mal Ashworth has become staid as
he's grown older? This is a question that strikes close to my
heart: I wasn't surprised when Heinlein and Bradbury became
oldpharts, but MAL ASHWORTH...?"
Wizened MAL ASHWORTH staidly reports: "Confidence in Albacon's
prospects had been soaring for some time, after progress
reports failed to live up to the promise of the early one
which contained a Kidney Donor card, and no Last Will &
Testament form appeared. The Unreal Bob Shaw's prophesies of
doom and destruction for any event not organized by himself
proved no truer for than for any other Eastercon, and the
committee showed that they couldn't hold a candle to the
attendees for that Mindless Incompetence with which they'd
been tagged. On Sunday night a lift full of three lifts-full
of fans driven into suicidal ecstasy by the Brum Fan Room
Party plummeted -- well, `descended rather hastily' -- to the
bottom of its shaft. The laws of the know universe, baffled
as to how to gelatinize further such an oversaturated mass,
settled for an injured ankle. In this suspension of the
natural order of things, it seems that I resolutely and
repeatedly attempted to pioneer a fourth-dimensional route to
the loo through the trouser press attached to our bedroom
wall: the only reportable results were of anatomical rather
than metaphysical interest. "Appropriate to Easter, there was
both Good News and Bad News. The good news was that cheap
food was available almost continually in the hotel, as was
good and reasonably priced real ale. The bad news was that
the food was so staggeringly awful that even the hotel staff
gave up and didn't bother to cook most of it, while the beer
ran out on Saturday night. "I gave my word not to mention
that I missed Marion Simmer Broadly's GoH speech, but it
doesn't mean much these days. I did hear her fulminate
fulsomely in the bar about over-sexy covers on her books
("After all, a spaceship never offended anyone"), an example
which converted all the boringly intellectual and literary
conversations going on into talk of tits and bums -- amid
which I recalled that the covers of John Norman's novels
culpably UNDERsold the porny potential of their interiors...
Faintly puzzled punster James White (known in this
ludicrously overdemocratic age as `Jim') was the hardworking,
ubiquitous and unfailingly entertaining Fan GoH, and for a
Sunday follow-up to those recovered from James's quietly
funny speech, Bob Shaw took time out from being `strangely
fascinated' by Lilian Edwards (and why not?) to tell of his
friend von Donegan's latest invention, a solar-powered
sunbed. Suitably horrendous, too, was the Vogon poetry
competition -- a shame that the clear winner received no
recognition. This was the Central Station announcer, who with
enormous enthusiasm kept relaying his entries, in a Vogon
voice of vast verisimilitude, direct into hotel bedrooms long
after the competition had ended, in a desperate bid for the
popular vote. More successful in this respect was John
Brunner -- as, of course, One of a Team -- who secured the
popular vote for Brighton rather than Blackpool, for
Eastercon, Eurocon, Life, the Universe and Almost Everything.
Both bid committees earned undying admiration for their
valorous survival of a Trial by Trivia before a large audience
("How far would the Book Room be from the Breakfast Suite,"
demanded Ken Slater, convincing me that There Are Subtleties
In All This That I Shall Never Understand). US fan Joe
Siclari was wide-eyed at both the fine detail and what he
politely called the `spirited' nature of the rival
presentations, surpassing aught of that ilk encountered in the
States. (One-night stands with trouser presses
notwithstanding, the high point of MY con was being able to
introduce avid fanhistory resurrectionist Joe and D.West, and
suggest they must have much in the way of putative joint
projects to discuss.) "The Book Room was one of those features
designed to promote that healthy exercise so lacking at cons
(others being high-speed potholing in crammed lifts and
jogging from bar to bar in search of the last pint of real
ale). Here the good old English game of Leapfrog was given
new twists in the constricted aisles between loaded tables,
the whole play area achieving a density equivalent to Saturday
night in a black hole. Despite repeated visits which had
little to do with buying books, Fate decreed I should fail to
be projected into a plane of mind-blowing delights in a
hyperspace encounter of the torrid kind with, for instance,
the topologically improbable Lisanne Norman... Next door was
the Video Room, with a continual and varied programme for
those lobotomized hours or days at any con when one doesn't
feel up to higher pursuits like standing up, moving about and
so on. Interestingly, most of the audio that went with the
video took place in the next (Alternative Programme) room: at
last I saw the silent classic Metropolis, but to the
accompaniment of a 70s US sitcom soundtrack, while Colin
Fine's excellent talk `Language in SF' battled with a hidden
curriculum on communication consisting, as far as one could
tell, of an unedited recording of World War Three. But it was
all Good Fun. "And so was watching the Bond-like suavity with
which one DL of Reading detached gobbets of my wife's hair
from his spectacles, mainly to assure himself that the
Swedish room party surrounding him hadn't done a Mary
Celeste. Luckily he completed this complex manoeuvre before
midday on Monday, to regale an entranced and evil- minded Fan
Room audience with the Ansible review of the steamiest
scurrilia of a steamy twelvemonth. "TAFF winner Avedon Carol
looked relaxed, happy and distinctly unlonesome; in this
latter respect unlike Peter Weston, whose brave Fancy Dress
Parade entry as Jophan, with brightly polished Shield of Umor,
was met by a roof-raising cheer from the mighty BAFF (Born
Again Fifties Fan) contingent in the hall (me), and bemused
silence from the minority of 400 or so other fans. But there
was plenty to keep THEM happy -- colour, spectacle, sex,
smoke-bombs, all that any fan could hope for. Except possibly
the Other Bob Shaw. Pity he couldn't be there; he might even
have enjoyed himself." (Mal Ashworth)
Albacon II reckons to have made around #1000 profit, but has
received a #500 repairs bill for the famous plunging lift.
(Katie Hoare, who knows everything about everything, thinks
the hotel is culpable in having a faulty lift to begin with,
as required safety cutouts should have immobilized the thing
when overloaded. Any more experts out there?) As committee
member Chris O'Kane just happens to be going out of the film
projection business and into video, there are plans to buy up
his equipment -- two 16mm projectors, screens, etc -- for
free loan to any bona-fide con prepared to pay transport costs
(from Scotland, hem hem). Also there's talk of buying
ultrasonic alarms for Book Room etc security, available
similarly. (DRL)
FURTHER CONVENTION NOTES: UPDATES AND THINGS
BECCON 83 (29-31 July): GoH Ken Bulmer, rooms #15 sngl #26
dbl/twin including VAT but not breakfast; other details
Ansible 30. Great London SF Convention (12-14 Aug): see A31.
The utter lack of UK publicity or a UK contact address for
this US-run con has led some to speculate that it's a rip-off
aimed at US visitors to the UK who will discover too late...
Apparently the Grosvenor Hotel in London, the venue, admits
only to a `provisional booking'. TRIPLE C CON (26-29 Aug): see
A31. Trekkiecon. SILICON 7 (26-29 Aug): see A31. Rumour has it
that the good old Grosvenor Hotel in Newcastle has changed
hands following the bankruptcy of nice manager Mr Pepper, but
that the new folk are friendly... X-CON (2-4 Sept, Eindhoven,
Holland): see A30. CONSTELLATION (1-5 Sept, Baltimore, USA):
1983 Worldcon. See A30. UNICON 4 (2-4 Sept, U of Essex): see
A30/31/32. MYTHCON (16-18 Sept, Brum): see A31. CON WITH NO
NAME (Ditto): see A30. INVENTION 83 (23-25 Sept, Glasgow):
see A30. GALACTICON (29-30 Oct): see A30. NOVACON 13 (4-6 Nov,
Brum): see A31. Worried by low registrations resulting from
the glut of cons and N12's being the first Novacon to achieve
Worst Thing Poll ranking, Steve Green begs you all to sign up
(#3.50 supp #7 att to 46 Colwyn Rd, Beeston, Leeds 11) and
flock to N13's `high quality' filmshow and main, alternate,
video and breakfast programmes. To titillate you he quotes
from planned guest Toby Roxburgh's latest public utterances:
"Isaac Asimov doesn't like flying, he doesn't like cars, he
doesn't really like travel; he DOES like his wife, which I
find astonishing... Bob Silverberg was a hack writer, a
genius; a genius as a hack, not as a writer... Fritz Leiber
looks like a bad El Greco sketch..." Back to Steve: "The major
difficulty with this kind of high quality is that if we don't
get the attendance we (and the Brum Group) could well go
under." FANTASYCON VIII (14-16 Oct, Imperial Hotel, Brum) is
listed out of sequence here owing to reasons. GoHs Gene
Wolfe, Bruce Pennington etc... no other data as yet. Wolfe is
visiting to promote the Arrow pb Citadel of the Autarch
(signings expected at Andromeda, Forbidden Planet etc). By a
wondrous coincidence the Book Marketing Council's SF
promotion is planned for 10-22 October, with the BSFA's very
own Geoff Rippington as one of the sinister triumvirate in
charge; lots of Chris Foss artwork is expected in the
promotional material. (By the way, Mike Yon's catalogue/
fanzine accuses me of being `closely associated' with the
promotion and about having `voiced doubts' in Ansible about
the BMC's restriction of the affair to `hard' sf. I'm not and
I haven't.) CYMRUCON III (26-27 Nov, Cardiff): GoH Jon
Brunner, appearances promised from Dougal Dixon and Warrior
mag, #7 att rising to #8 in Aug; The Bower, High St, Llantwit
Major, S.Glam. (04465-4282) SEACON 84 (20-23 April 84,
Brighton Metropole): won Eastercon bidding at Albacon II and
combines Eastercon with Eurocon. GoHs: Isaac Asimov, Chris
Priest, Pierre Barbet, Josef Nesvadba, Waldemar Kumming (fan).
Official rates etc should appear in PR1, due mid-May (hem
hem): I'm fairly sure it's currently #8 att until November,
less #1 if you were a presupporter, to 321 Sarehole Rd, Hall
Green, Birmingham B28 0AL. After some vacillation about
`keeping numbers down' the committee is going all out for a
huge con with 3-5000 members, using the Brighton exhibition
centre with the attached hotel as a mere fan room, applying
for colossal UNESCO grants in view of the cultural
wonderfulness of it all, etc. MEXICON (25-28 May 84, Royal
Station Hotel, Newcastle): new sort of alternative con aiming
to stress written sf with minimal media catering. Committee:
Williams (K&S), Bell, Pickersgill (L&G), Frost, Hansen. #5
att to any of them or to 19 Jesmond Dene Rd, Jesmond,
Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE2 3QT. Why the name? Aha... ALBACON 84
(20-23 July, Central Hotel, Glasgow): GoH John Sladek, #3
supp #8 att u.f.n. The lack of published address is because
the committee (curiously similar to the Albacon II committee)
is busy arranging a PO box; if in urgent need to contact them
try c/o 34 Peninver Dr, Linthouse, Glasgow G51. I gather that
this would have been called Faircon 84 if not for the Shaw
Split and... FAIRCON 84 (20-23 July, Ingram Hotel, Glasgow):
GoH Sydney Jordan, #5 supp #8 att, 2/L 244 W Prices St,
Kelvinbridge, Glasgow, G4 9DP. Yes: to the annoyance of most
runners of previous Faircons, Bob (Fake) Shaw is setting up on
his own, with his solicitor (last seen writing threatening
letters to previous Fairconcom members) and other equally
fannish folk. To counteract the likely avoidance of this event
by sf fans in general, Bob is pushing the comics side of
things... OXCON (24-27 Aug, Oxford): see A31/32. The Stoke
opposition having dropped out, this is the only Unicon `bid'
remaining just now -- plenty of time for others to come
forward, though, says Alex Stewart: "The Unicon charter is now
in force, and sets down a few guidelines that should prevent
anyone making too massive a cock-up. (It hasn't been
officially ratified yet, as my copy went astray in the post,
but the major clauses were agreed to verbally at Albacon.)"
Since Oxcon planned to go ahead whether or not given the
Unicon seal of approval, will it choose to do so rather than
accept the Unicon Charter guidelines? We'll see. SANTACON (14-
16 Dec, Leeds Dragonara): see A30/31
Special BATTLEFIELD EARTH Update: George Hay reports that he's
read the Hubbard epic and swears it's genuine Hubbard. In
America, a weird charade involving special ink formulated by
a forensics experts (in which Hubbard subsequently wrote
documents later sworn to feature his own handwriting and
fingerprints) is supposed to have proven the recluse's
continued existence. (F770) Meanwhile NEL have cancelled their
edition of BE despite extensive circulation of advance proof
copies: most fascinating rumour is that this is due to
pressure from the Scientology Org (but why?). US fans are
still appalled by evil Charles Platt's failed attempt to
discredit the Hugos by campaigning for BE's nomination, but
apparently not appalled by the similar campaign of nice John
and Bjo Trimble, who actually like the book: it's not what
you do, it's who you are when you do it...
THE SF LUNCH CLUB SHOCK HORROR SUPPLEMENT:
OR, FEAR AND LOATHING ON JUNE 1ST
The rest of this issue was intended to be all of this issue:
but in my folly I nipped out to today's SF Lunch Club thingy
(a three-monthly affair costing one vast sums for such
delights as struggling through crowded and red-hot Central
London to eat hot food and subsequently listen to Gerry Webb
talk for hours while in the background restaurant flunkeys
inexorably dismantle the bar... but I digress). Here an
ashen-faced Les Flood, with the air of the Ancient Mariner
drawing attention to his albatross, produced the details of
the Book Marketing Council's SF promotion... concerning which,
and notwithstanding the previous page, I now begin to have
opinions and even Voice Doubts. The shortlist of 20 books for
maximum-publicity promotion is as follows: Aldiss's
Helliconia Spring, Asimov's Foundation trilogy, Ballard's The
Drowned World, Benford's Timescape, Bishop's No Enemy But
Time, Cherryh's Downbelow Station, Clarke's 2001 and 2010
(counted separately, making the Great Arthur the only author
to officially figure twice -- more of this anon), Donaldson's
White Gold Wielder (so much for a `hard sf bias'), Harrison's
The Stainless Steel Rat for President, Herbert's Dune,
Huxley's Brave New World, McCaffrey's The Crystal Singer,
Moorcock's Dancers at the End of Time (one-volume edition
from Granada later this year), Niven/Pournelle's The Mote in
God's Eye, Orwell's 1984, Silverberg's Majipoor Chronicles,
Wolfe's The Citadel of the Autarch, Wells's The War of the
Worlds (Best SF of 1898) and Wyndham's The Day of the
Triffids. Erk. Now I should explain that this is a paperback
promotion, and the `sample population' consists of paperbacks
available in October: those not yet out will appear as
follows -- 2010 Granada Oct, NEBT Sphere Aug, DS Methuen
June, WGW Fontana Sept, MC Pan Oct, CotA Arrow Oct. I thought
about the list for a long while. I admired the daring risks
taken in promoting all these unknown classics and bestsellers.
I savoured the incidence of British authors in a British
promotion -- seven, including all three dead ones here. I
merrily calculated the average publication date of the books
featured -- around 1966-7. I chuckled to see two series-end
volumes which will be hugely promoted at the expense of the
previous books. I laughed, I cried, I frothed at the mouth.
"The judges selected such titles as Clarke's 2001 and Orwell's
1984, familiar to the general public, as the promotion aims
not only to increase the sales among sf buffs but also to
widen the market for the genre." Absolutely. The only way to
sell books to the general public is to pick ones the general
public have already read. (Quotation is from the official
publicity flyer, courtesy of Les Flood.) So I rang Geoff
Rippington, fandom's representative on the judging panel, and
gibbered at him awhile. He filled in some background, as
follows... The panel was stuck with a `History of SF' theme
and therefore forced to include several oldies. Publishers
were asked to nominate books from which the final 20 could be
selected: the entire might of British paperback publishing
managed to come up with 23, of which the judges couldn't
bring themselves to accept more than 9 as being Worthy.
Rather than junk the promotion, the panel ransacked
publishers' backlists in search of plausible stuff, and tried
to persuade said publishers to sponsor their choices. A
certain reluctance was met with, owing to the fact that to
sponsor a book required that one cough up #500 towards the
promotion -- which is apparently why only the most recent
Donaldson and Wolfe books are included, Fontana and Arrow
being unable to afford the whole series. On the other hand,
Granada sneaked through the Foundation trilogy by cunning
negotiation, as a boxed set and thus a single item... Geoff
also insisted that the panel was biased towards British
authors, quite strongly so, but with the exceptions on the
list could find no British publisher prepared to sponsor any
book by a British author which the panel thought worthy.
(Given the general state of sf lists over here, it's hard to
find British authors at all, but even I can think of a few
like Watson, or Shaw, or Holdstock, or Priest -- no, HE'S
already been apotheosed...) Oh well. One can hardly wait. Also
at the SFLC: Peter Nicholls revealed that he's slipped
partially from the toils of Multimedia (see page 2) to be a
freelance editorial director. George Hay and Roz Kaveney had
a disappointingly polite confrontation concerning the very
rude RK review of Battlefield Earth in Foundation, the which
George considers unfair and wicked and to be taken up in
letters to the editor. Malcolm Edwards made the shock horror
revelation that he himself personally had just rejected BE
upon its resubmission to Gollancz: probes in the direction of
putative publishers NEL got the reply "we were going to
publish it -- we'd bought it from St Martin's in the US --
but then we found we had to deal with these shady characters
called Author Services Inc [promoters of BE] and so we
dropped out..." (Or words to that effect.) Geoff Ryman
gloated over having sold a story to Interzone, lucky sod,
while John Clute mentioned that fantasy and stuff was easy to
find for IZ, it was hard sf that was in short supply. Ken
Campbell of theatrical fame leapt about explaining that he no
longer wanted to adapt books and dramatize other peoples'
boring old words: no, he wanted to do a `companion piece' to
Dick's Valis. Somehow this metamorphosed into an account of a
Batty Therapy weekend he and a friend had recently undergone,
a sort of est affair whose principal activity appeared to be
hurling your arms with graphic violence into the air while
synchronously shouting "HOO!" Afterwards he and friend were
both struck by the same thought, "I could run Batty Therapy
weekends just as good as that, and at #55 a head..." Move
over, Scientology. Malcolm (that man again) revealed a rumour
that D.West had won the writer, new fan and fanartist
categories of the Pong Poll, and grudgingly allowed that it
would do no harm were Ansible to mention HOLDSTOCKWORLD --
R.Hansen's name for the fabulously lucrative `theme park'
project to be based on the Holdstock/Edwards Alien
Landscapes, providing Rob and Malcolm with luxurious all-
expenses-paid trips to Canada for discussions, and thus
enabling them to horrify and alarm Avedon Carol by welcoming
her to Britain when she'd only got as far as Boston... Joy
Chamberlain of Penguin insisted that the sf line was to be
Rejuvenated in Spring 84: "You mean you're getting rid of Fred
and Geoffrey Hoyle?" I asked with bated breath. "Oh God yes,
they're so banal." Here I realized was a woman of rare
scientyfictional taste. I leant closer. "You're getting rid
of Jack Chalker??" Long pause. "Well, he does sell..."
Somebody cheered me up by revealing that the Frederick Muller
stock (see p.2) had all been sold off for #1000 because the
outfit was losing so much money. In whispers I was told of
the Stephen King Story Nobody Will Print Not Even Twilight
Zone: "It's about this surgeon cast up on a desert island,"
said omniscient Chris Priest, "and he can only survive by
eating bits of himself... But even more offensive and
tasteless is the new Monty Python film, which Lisa and I saw
in America while you haven't, har har." Gamma of Forbidden
Planet demanded massive publicity for coming signings,
Moorcock (The War Hound and the World's Pain, 6 Aug) and
Aldiss (Helliconia Summer, 8 or 15 Oct). An anonymous
Gollancz sf editor confessed to having purchased a Pohl
`novel' of pieces written around `The Midas Plague' (Nov
publication). Gerry Webb, on space or something, battled
Maurice Goldsmith (on how science fiction is old hat and
technology is more important than science and utopian tf will
etc) in the Interminability Stakes, and fought to a draw...
COA
CATHY BALL, 712 N Stewart, Norman, OK 73071, USA :: PAT &
GRAHAM CHARNOCK ("Now we've got our own rotting old 5-bedroom
house!"), 45 Kimberley Gdns, Harringay, London N.4 :: CHRIS
HUGHES & JAN HUXLEY, 128 Whitley Wood Rd, Reading, Berks, RG2
8JG :: ROY MACINSKI, 5 Bridge Ct, River Rd, Taplow, Bucks ::
KEITH MARSLAND, 1 Northgate, Goosnargh, nr Preston, Lancs PR3
2BB :: PETER NICHOLLS (& Clare Coney), 83 Lavender Sweep,
London, SW11 1EA until 27 June -- then 5 Furlong Rd,
Islington, London N.7 :: TERESA & PATRICK NIELSEN HAYDEN c/o
Kaufman & Tompkins, 4326 Winslow Pl N, Seattle, WA 98103, USA
:: BOB & SADIE SHAW, 90 Albert Rd, Grappenhall, Warrington,
Cheshire, WA4 2PG :: NICK TRANT as Roy Macinski :: KEV & SUE
WILLIAMS, 19 Jesmond Dene Rd, Jesmond, Newcastle upon Tyne,
NE2 3QJ :: MIKE XDICKINSON & JACKIE ZGRESHAM (subtle
concealment of sequence error), c/o 146 N Parade, Sleaford,
Lincs NG34 8AP from end June :: JIM ZZBARKER hasn't really
moved but now has a daytime office at 2 Manor St, Falkirk,
FK1 1NH :: 31-5-83
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
Leeds in 1985? First '85 Eastercon flyer is to hand, begging
us all to rush #1 each to Yorcon III, 45 Harold Mt, Leeds LS6
1PW: other bids expected imminently... APPALLING NICHOLLS
REVELATIONS: "We're being married at Islington registry July
16, followed by a piss-up, then a flight to San Francisco and
a week on horseback in the High Sierras. I hope I do better
than Humphrey Bogart in the same area... Have now signed a
contract on Fantastic Cinema, 83,000 words to be delivered by
Dec 31, published by Ebury Press May 84. This time I will try
to do the work all by myself." (PN)... THINGS FOR SALE: I
have a few copies each of Jerry Kaufman's Best of Susan Wood
collection (80pp+covers) and P.Nielsen-Hayden's Fanthology
1981 (66pp+covers: Hayden, `Adverse', Atkinson x 2, White,
Carol, Mayer, Smith, Bangsund, Priest, Langford, Benford) --
each #2 post free, proceeds to Worthy Causes. This is not so
of the fabulous signed copies of the incredibly rare hardback
War in 2080: The Future of Military Technology, yours for #3
pf... FANFUNDERY: DUFF was won by Jerry Kaufman (other
candidates being Jan Finder, Charlotte Proctor, Alexis
Gilliland); he'll be at Syncon 83, the Australian national
con. GUFF with luck will bring a strange Australian entity to
Seacon 84, names mentioned in this context being: Justin
Ackroyd, Roger Weddall, Jean Weber and Someone Else. TAFF will
very likely inflict a Eurosomeone on the LA Worldcon (84):
rumoured names are Rob Hansen and Harry Bell but not,
according to D.West, D.West. Some fans are even thinking ahead
to TAFF 1985: Jeff Schalles wants to come over, as did Ted
White, only to be sabotaged by Another Project (rumoured to be
a guest slot at the near-cert 1985 Melbourne Worldcon)... THE
SEACON SECRET: "Any hope of success for the Blackpool bid was
destroyed when Graham James rose to support them."
(M.Easterbrook)... JOE NICHOLAS REALLY DAVE LANGFORD! Flushed
with the success of his first professional sale (an Albacon II
report to Locus), Joseph was bemused to learn that BSFA awards
he distinctly remembers presenting at that event were,
according to SFC's infallible newshounds, handed out by
D.Langford... REMAINDER FOLLIES: Fascinated as always by
remaindering, your editor noticed various paperbacks going at
60-65p reduction in the local remainder shop -- Red Dragon,
Fever, a heap of Dick Francis thrillers, The Golden Torc, The
Nonborn King... Simultaneously, all were being sold at full
price in a respectable local bookshop, as `new publications',
and the first and last were even bestsellers. Would someone
better acquainted than I with the Net Book Agreement explain
all this to me?... IAN WATSON GLOATS -- "Just sold a new novel
to Gollancz for Feb 84 pub date: The Book of the River, to be
serialized in F&SF between late 83 and early 84. Gosh"...
GREG BENFORD EXPLAINS AGAINST INFINITY -- "I suspect that the
entire subtext (as we intellectuals say) of reference to US
lit traditions, the whole theme of southern concerns etc --
all will be lost on UK audience. In latest Locus I noticed
Chinese rug dealer reviewer was totally `bewildered' by last
third of book, even after Charlie the B relayed word to him
that reading some Faulkner might be helpful. On the other
hand we must remember that sf is a nawthern intell-lecsul
imperialism phenomenon anyway." (GB)... JOHN BRUNNER AGAIN --
reporting annoyance at a surprise announcement that he'd be
at Italcon (23-25 April Italy) despite having said he
couldn't; despite this he got the Premio Italia 83, whatever
that may be, at another Italian con a week later, and in May
the Grand Prix of the 3e Festival de l'Insolite in Provence.
(All I got on MY 1983 hols was the Grand Prix de Barclaycard
Overspending)... MUNDANES, says D.Schweitzer, is what the new
generation of US mediafans likes to call the boring old farts
who read books and fanzines... RIP: Max Ehrlich -- The Big
Eye -- on 11 Feb; Rebecca West -- The Meaning of Treason etc,
but gets into sf newszines thanks to 10 years as great and
good friend of H.G.Wells -- on 15 March... THAT DUNE FILM:
media master R.I.Barycz sends mounds of wearyingly
circumstantial data ("budget $40M, shooting began 30-3-83 in
Mexico City" etc). A pal of Paul Kincaid's has inside data
corroborating this: "shooting scheduled to finish November...
Francesca Annis plays leading female role, and apparently
appears in virtually every scene... also due to appear
briefly in the sequel already scheduled" (As Jessica, I
suppose). OK. I believe you all. Enough... PUZZLE CORNER:
Which leading newszine complains about fans reprinting
material without permission, yet swipes Ansible news without
permission (which I don't mind) and without giving credit
(which I do)? Clue: not File 770... LISA TUTTLE dared to
defend the Best Young British Novelists campaign in Time Out
recently, but was properly put in her place by erstwhile fan
Chris Fowler who wrote in to say that she was "hardly a
disinterested party, for she is married to none other than
Christopher Priest." Ooh, savage... BLOOD! VIOLENCE! DEATH!
ACRIMONY! Thus our Joseph's verbal account of his resignation
as Vector reviews editor, depleted from a former 10,000 words
by excision of libellous references to V editor
G.Rippington... END OF THE WORLD NEWS: Leroy Kettle sends
clippings revealing a) that flatulent termites are going to
increase the world's mean temperature, while (b) the eruption
of an obscure Mexican volcano will decrease the world's mean
temperature. "the temperature has already dropped enough to
wipe out herds of anchovies (personally I'd have thought the
tins would have protected them) so the termites have got
quite a bit of farting to do to catch up. There's definitely
a disaster novel in there somewhere... STOPPED PRESS: I
really meant to publicize the SFF `SF & Psychology' evening
at the City Lit (23 May) and the Forbidden Planet signing of
S.King's Christine, but. King plus entourage appeared at the
2nd BFS pub evening on 13 May, and our roving reporter Nic
Howard nearly touched him... LAST-MINUTE COAs: ROELOF
GOUDRIAAN, Postbus 1189, 8200 BD Lelystad, Netherlands (so
much for the small print on page 1); Jean Weber c/o Eric
Lindsay, 6 Hillcrest Ave, Faulconbridge, NSW 2776 (temporary,
while resting after operation)... CHRIS ATKINSON (and to a
certain extent Malcolm Edwards) heroically produced another
future Ansible subscriber on 25 May and named
Tappen^H^H^H^H^H^H Thomas...
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #24: Tibetan
gos-kyi yab-mo byed-pa to beckon by waving one's clothes
dkan-guyer the wrinkles of the roof of the mouth
* ANSIBLE THIRTY-THREE *
Edited by Dave Langford,
94 London Road, READING,
Berks. RG1 5AU, England.
ANSIBLE 34, July 1983: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by TONY SMITH ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 34: the July 1983 issue of Britain's optician-
sponsored SF newsletter wings its minuscule way to you from
DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU,
UK. Scientific tests show that nobody ever reads this tiny
print: I can say what I like here, I can libel John Brunner
and Harry Harrison, I can raise the subscription rates and
fandom will never... wait a minute. Note last issue's
increase, please: #2 brings you seven issues wherever you
live, airmailed outside the UK. Sterling notes/cheques to me,
also dollar bills; Giro transfer to a/c 24 523 0408; $ cheques
to US agents Mary & Bill Burns, 23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead,
NY 11550 (they invite you all to their pre-worldcon party
there on 27 Aug, 4pm onward); Euromonies to Roelof Goudriaan,
Postbus 1189, 8200 BD Lelystad, Netherlands; Leigh Edmonds
distributes Australian copies but doesn't yet take subs.
Cartoon by D. (Famous Dave) West; labels superlatively
dataprocessed by Keith (Infallible) Freeman. Please read your
label and note that: LASTISH XX means XX is the last Ansible
you get on your current subscription (all who now write in to
observe that we're already up to issue XXXIV will be
Punished); SUB DUE means the chopper is ready to fall,
avertable only by sending Langford money (as above) or hot
news (credit given at editorial discretion); ***** means you
are on the dustbin of history and lucky to see this issue at
all, as increasing poverty is causing me to prune the list
ever more ruthlessly; TRADE means you're currently getting
free copies in exchange for your frequent newszine, for sundry
nameless favours, or out of shameless Langfordian sycophancy.
This issue's immediate mailing goes to 327 addresses, same as
last time since new subscribers have balanced out a fairly
ruthless purge. Help! Nuclear Debate Thought for Today, from
the notebooks of Samuel Butler: "We shall never get people
whose time is money to take much interest in atoms." (circa
1880.)
=============================================================
DON'T THROW AWAY seemingly valueless sf oddments like those
J.Brunner form postcards (with a tick against the phrase `Your
fanzine was junk mail fit only for recycling'). One Colin
Huggett of Sheffield offers such rare memorabilia for sale: an
8-word typed postcard from Asimov goes for #6, a 32-word
handwritten one from Aldiss is #10. Bradbury only has to write
his name and `Hallo' on a form letter to make it worth #10.50,
while Clarke does the same and adds `All good wishes' but
rates a mere #7.50. Star item at #30 is a carbon of Priest's
`The Invisible Men', listed as `possibly unpublished'
(actually published twice at least)... Invited to comment,
Brian Aldiss rushed back a 59-word handwritten postcard
demanding a cheque of commensurate value, and ever-
informative Chris Priest revealed all: "I remember being
approached by someone called Colin Something, a few years ago.
Represented himself as a lifelong fan, whose collection would
not be complete without a signed MS. Smelt fishy to me, so
ignored it. Then he wrote again later. I called Brian, and
asked him what to do. Brian said: `Oh that bastard...I think
he's a dealer.' So ignored him again. After a third letter I
decided no harm would come of sending him a bottom carbon copy
of my worst story, thinking that he'd never get a price for
it. Now, years later, it emerges with a #30 tag. Ho ho ho."
(CP) Offers for the full 239-word typed letter with rare
indecipherable Priest signature may be sent to the usual
address.
ISAAC ASIMOV, somewhat to the chagrin of the Seacon 84
committee, has belatedly decided that his promise to come here
as Guest of Honour `health permitting' actually meant `health
and absence of lucrative novel contracts permitting'. While
Asimov exits giggling to write a sequel to FOUNDATION'S EDGE,
the committee (no doubt murmuring "Our gain is literature's
loss") is seeking an alternative US guest, said to be Philip
Jose Farmer. Asimov's defection is one reason for further
delay of Progress Report 1, planned for mid-May and currently
due Real Soon Now. But, three months to the day from its bid
victory, Seacon HAS produced its first publication, a page of
information with the proper European air of having been
translated from Serbo-Croat. Attending membership costs #7
(rising in December), payable to Seacon 84, 321 Sarehole Road,
Hall Green, Birmingham, B28 0AL; Brighton Metropole hotel
rates #16.50/person/night inc. breakfast, and ditto in the
Bedford (overflow). Paid-up pre-supporters of both the
Blackpool and Brighton bids for this 1984 Eastercon/Eurocon
get #1 off membership. Meanwhile, the infosheet mysteriously
insists that two of the remaining four Guests of Honour (Chris
Priest, Pierre Barbet) are NOT guests but merely authors who
are coming along -- though I suspect this is an error of ace
creative typist Alan Dorey.
CHINESE SF SECRETS: writing in the TLS, the possibly famous
Yang Xianyi reveals all. "There is a vogue for sf in China
today... [BUT] Chinese people do not have pessimistic ideas
that the world is going to be dominated by insects, robots or
creatures from outer space, or destroyed by a nuclear
holocaust or other catastrophe; so they find most present-day
Western sf too depressing and unacceptable." The phraseology
is familiar enough to make you wonder whether the editors of
ASIMOV'S SF MAG are secretly Chinese.
MAGAZINES: IMAGINE and WHITE DWARF, sf/fantasy games mags
covered last issue, currently have circulations of 15 and 18.5
thousand respectively; fiction rates seem to vary with
auctorial fame, around #25-30 from I, #15-25 from WD, per
thousand words. INTERZONE, depressingly, is doing rather less
well: Dave Pringle, as usual ashen-faced and tight-lipped,
says "As of mid-June we had received only about 25% of the
anticipated resubscriptions. If more people don't resubscribe
soon we're going to have to TAKE MEASURES. Keep Britain's only
sf magazine alive! The small ad which we paid #130 to place in
the GRAUNIAD books page a month ago has resulted in just 7
subscriptions. Count them: 7. Out of a GUARDINA readership of,
what? Half a million? It's at times like this that us sf fans
feel with perfect justification that we're part of a tiny
persecuted minority." (DP) Ouch. Rush Dave a fiver today, you
deadbeats... The long-promised SEBASTIAN (Intergalactic Art
Ltd, 31 Morecambe Street, London, SE17 1DX) recently appeared,
64pp inc. glossy covers, a strange semipro affair dominated by
artwork and comic strips from Huge French Names in
translation, plus some fiction. #2.50 + 50p p&p, says secret
master Patrice Bernard; issue 2 in a year or so, depending on
colossal response...
SWEDEN: An anonymous Stockholm source reports that that great
work THE SCIENCE IN SF will appear from huge publishing firm
Norstedts there next year, translated and -- ominous word --
edited by Sam J.Lundwall. He plans to revise the text and
remove claimed anglo-chauvinistic errors ("Frankenstein's
monster wasn't the first artificially created human in the
literature, for instance"), no doubt replacing all those
boring Anglo-US references with really important Swedish
authors like H.G.Wellsson, Mary Shellejsdottir and Lucian of
Samosataholm. Reports of numberless references to the works of
hugely famous Sam J.Lundwall are eagerly awaited. Meanwhile it
is MERE COINCIDENCE that roving reporter Marc Ortlieb has been
reading Harry Harrison's STARWORLD, there to find the line:
`Old Lundwall, who commands the SVERIGE, should have retired a
decade ago....' No comment, thanks.
BOOK MARKETING COUNCIL OCTOBER SF PROMOTION: Geoff Rippington
went on about this in VECTOR 114, revealing among other things
that the Gang Of Four who picked the books to be plugged had a
mere 6 days in which to locate and read the nominated books:
naturally lifelong skiffyfan Geoff was the only one who did.
(His printed account differs in small details from what I
extracted over the telephone: it apparently cost #600 per book
to nominate for the promotion, plus 50% for non-BMC
publishers, explaining certain strange absences; and the
`history of sf' theme used to justify the older choices was
only dreamed up at the last second in face of unremitting
awfulness of newer material.) Geoff lists 23 titles -- he says
27 but that's his problem -- so, omitting the final choices
listed in A33, here are the Ones That Didn't Make It...
GRANADA "COMPLETE SHORT STORIES OF RAY BRADBURY", "THE
ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF SF" (Nicholls); MICHAEL JOSEPH "THE SCIENCE
IN SF" (Nicholls, Whatsisname, Stableford); HODDER (it says
here) "FRIDAY" (Heinlein); CORGI "RADIX" (Attanasio),
"DINOSAUR TALES" (Bradbury), "SECRET HISTORY OF TIME TO COME"
(MacAuley); ARROW "RUN TO THE STARS" (Rohan); SPHERE "FADE-
OUT" (Tilley), "VANEGLORY" (Turner), "THE AMTRAK WARS"
(Tilley).
At the inaugural SF Supper Club meeting, or more
accurately piss-up (at which Kingsley Amis read out all his
favourite reviews of his Golden Age collection, several people
enthused "This is what the One Tun should be like" even as
they fell over, and next day convalescent organizer Priest
remarked "It must have been good, people have been phoning all
morning to apologize for things -- ")... I heard strange
promotional gossip: what happened to the 2/3 books Futura say
they nominated? Or the great Langford novel which Richard
Evans swore on a full pint glass had been nominated by Arrow?
Was the list somehow weeded even before the selectors saw it?
Richard also complained that nominating "2001" was a waste of
time, seeing as Arrow sold a steady 20,000 copies every year,
the market saturation level. I told you so. Last word from
that man Priest: "One of the things which I haven't seen
commented on is the disproportionate bias towards British
authors. 40% of the writers are British, and this is a
scandalous misrepresentation of the sf field as a whole. Also,
most of them are dead, which is a bit lacking in taste, if you
ask me. All the Americans are alive, so why can't the British
be?" (That's enough Priest this issue -- Ed.)
BOOKS & THINGS: John Bush of Gollancz got quite excited at the
June BSFA meeting. In a sneak preview of coming sf
masterpieces, he casually yawned his way through familiar
names, "another Shaw, another Sladek, and [EYELIDS DROOP]
another Watson..." But then, in a sudden galvanic spasm: "You
must read this one book we're doing! [WAVES ARMS, LEAPS UP AND
DOWN] It's called GOLDEN WITCHBREED by Mary Gentle... [FROTHS
AT MOUTH, HURLS BEERMUGS AT INATTENTIVE LISTENERS] On
September 1st YOU WILL ALL GO OUT AND BUY IT!" Joe Nicholas
was seen to regard with awe the fingers with which he'd
mistyped so many of Mary's reviews for the BSFA... FIRST BYTE
is Mike Rohan's vade-mecum of home computing for the ignorant
(EP #3.95), notable among other things for Jim Barker
cartoons, one of which contrives to use Jim's ANSIBLE mailing
label not only as an example of dot-matrix printing but so
millions of dazzled readers can now write to Jim and
commission artwork... THE WHOLE TRUTH COMPUTER HANDBOOK is
Charles Platt's rival book on why you don't need one of the
stupid machines really: it's illustrated by Dan Steffan, is
as yet unsold in the UK, and will be translated into English
from the original American text by -- argh!... `The Book of
the New Sun' has maddened Tom Disch and John Clute into
planning an entire critical work analyzing the subtle bits,
and famous Mr Clute has developed an answer to the burning
question `Who was Severian's mother?' which he threatens to
justify in vast textual detail anytime I approach him with the
magic phrase "You are the FOUNDATION man and I claim my free
insomnia cure"... Pocket/Timescape are having a further
shakeup, with the entire sf line editing farmed out (with the
exception of really important STAR TREK books which cannot be
trusted to others) to the hacks of the Scott Meredith Literary
Agency in New York. Lovable former Timescape editor Dave
Hartwell gets the boot (not at all amicably, we hear) and will
be out by the end of October; there are hints that the now
well known Timescape imprint (famous for publishing most
recent award nominees etc) will, in a stroke of dazzling
market acumen, be renamed. (SOURCES: everyone really, but Bob
Shaw -- traumatized by a transatlantic phone call -- was
first.)... Peter Lavery, spelt like that and not the way LOCUS
prefers, has the Hamlyn as well as Arrow backlists to play
with at Arrow now, the former having been bought up by
Hutchinson/Arrow. Sources insist that the gaffes of the famous
Hamlyn line, such as publishing millions of books and storing
them carefully in a warehouse until deciding that the poor
sales demanded remaindering, were the fault of others. (Signed
Grovelling Arrow Author)... Famous `Network News' editor
Martin Morse Wooster, whose plea "Write for me as you would
write for TAPPEN" was featured last issue, enthusiastically
bounced a Langford submission with the classic words "We're
not prudes, but -- " Corrected specification: write as you
would for TAPPEN, but omitting anything in the nature of rude
words, horrid innuendo, mention of bodily orifices (ears may
possibly be OK in certain circumstances), tappens, and most
other things to be found in TAPPEN... Peter Winnington of the
Peake Society has been querying E.F.Bleiler's rumoured
omission of Peake from a forthcoming fantasy-author
compendium, "and got a strange answer which made reference
only to the recently published GUIDE TO SUPERNATURAL FICTION
`in which I did include Peake's MR PYM [sic]' -- do you play
verbal golf? He's found how to get from Poe to Peake in one!"
(GPW)... Malcolm Edwards reports imminent Penguin & Puffin
editions of his almost famous reprint antho CONSTELLATIONS
(1980): same cover, same layout, different price. Still
bemused, he writes on A33: "Speaking as the editor who bought
AGAINST INFINITY over here I confess myself wholly baffled by
Greg Benford's letter. Influence of Faulkner? Must go back and
read MOONFLEET again... `TF' = termite farting, do you
think?" (MJE)
TAFF: Malcolm denies D.West's denial of TAFF candidacy.
"D.West is too standing for TAFF. He has no choice in the
matter. If need be he will be the first write-in TAFF winner.
(Signed: The Secret Masters.) Our slogan is, `Send D. West to
de west'." (MJE) As TD readers know, Famous Dave is proposing
an alternative D.West Fan Fund to bring some lucky and
deserving person like Ted White to D's own home in Bingley.
Already his eldritch powers are working to make the town a
place of pilgrimage: the current Soc of Authors mag has a list
of hotels offering discount to members, and naturally only a
handful of places are willing to encourage vile creatures like
authors, but of these the very first is the Hall Bank Hotel
in, of course, Bingley...
RIP: Zenna Henderson of `People' fame died on 11 May, of
cancer. She was 65. (LOCUS)
RANDOM CONVENTION UPDATES: ALBACON II has paid half of the
#500 lift repair bill from the Central Hotel (this being not
so much Justice as an attempt to keep the hotel sweetened for
future cons). Steve Green complains that the world famous COFF
award, handed by Kev Clarke to the hotel porter before
numberless witnesses, was never seen again and according to
the hotel never had been seen by their porter: ANSIBLE
suspects the trophy's construction is to blame, the beerglass
`dome' over the legendary model Concrete Overcoat having
probably been `repossessed' for the hotel bar, the rest
discarded, the embarrassment of admitting to this being
relentlessly avoided... EUROCON 8 is not Seacon 84 after all
(it'll be Eurocon 9): the Yugoslavs have succeeded in having
their September 16-18 (1983) con at Cankarjev Dom, Ljubljana,
recognized as a Eurocon, which now becomes an annual -- not
biennial -- event. $5US supp, $10 att (cheque/IMO/cash, or
approx equivalent in other hard currency) payable to Elizabeta
Bobnar, Ul.Ivanke Ovijac 4, YU-61215 MEDVODE, Yugoslavia...
UNICON 4 (2-4 Sept, U of Essex): "Oh shit!" quipped merry
chairman Alex Stewart after losing two Guests of Honour in one
day -- John Sladek plans to be in America and Angela Carter in
hospital come convention time. Even more famous Ian Watson is
GoH, unless his pre-election predictions come to pass and all
sf authors in Thatchers Britain are herded into a
concentration camp, there to be subjected to life sentences of
readings from the works of R.L.Fanthorpe... SEACON 84 -- word
reaches my ear that the planned simultaneous translation
services look like costing over #3000 (including free rooms
for a horde of professional interpreters), or somewhat more
than the base figure for ALL other technical equipment and
services. "No big fat UN grant, no simultaneous translation,"
hints a glum informant... SPRING BANK HOLIDAY 1984 event has a
slight name correction: not Mexicon but Tynecon II: The
Mexicon. The idea is to found a dynasty of Mexicons, each at
the same time of year but with different locations and
identifying names, like the Eastercon but (they say) better.
#5 to Sue Williams, 19 Jesmond Dene Road, Jesmond, Newcastle-
upon-Tyne, NE2 3QT. Hotel rates (Royal Station, Newcastle)
#13.25/person dbl/twin, ditto sngl-without-bath, #16.50 sngl-
with-bath... FANTASYCON VIII (see A33): "We haven't yet
released details," says Jo Fletcher of the BFS repressively
(no doubt the BFS tradition of keeping Fantasycon hushed
up...). Gene Wolfe IS GoH; Bruce Pennington isn't a guest but
`may turn up'; Ken Bulmer will be MC; `more details later'
(JF)
OUR TEETH GRATED, AND MY NIPPLES WENT SPUNG! All true fans
will at once recognize this famous line from THE NUMBER OF THE
BEAST, and 102% will hastily add "Of course I didn't read the
book, I saw it quoted somewhere." TLS coverage of a book on
Japanese comics now suggests a source for Heinlein's subtle
onomatopoeia: there are conventional sounds for all sorts of
things like slurping noodles (SURU-SURU), reddening with
embarrassment (PO), adding cold cream to hot coffee (SURON)
and vanishing into thin air (FU). Amid all this I find the
glad news that "When a penis suddenly stands erect the
accepted sound is BIIN." When BIIN is found, can SPUNG be far
behind?
THOMAS PAUL ATKINSON EDWARDS is the full name of, er...
EPISTOLAE ET CETERA
BRIAN ALDISS -- "The 6th Annual Meeting of World SF passed off
peacefully in Zagreb, 16-20 June. The Jugoslav hosts did a
great job; experienced con-goers (like Elsie Wollheim & Sam
Lundwall) voted it the best con ever. The new WSF awards were
a success. Gerbish received one for DEDICATED SERVICE. An
emerald green Harrison Award -- named after our founder* --
went to Bruce Gillespie. Russian & Chinese delegates (the
popular Weng Fengzhen) were present. Next year: Brighton."
(*Founder Harrison? Michael? M.John? George? Give us a
clue, Brian... Ed.)
ALEX STEWART -- "The BFI yearbook thudded onto my doormat the
other day, and, much to my surprise, it lists no less than
seven sf/fantasy/horror films currently in production in the
UK. Plus whatever may have started since the new year, of
course. In case anyone's interested, in alphabetical order,
they are: GREYSTOKE -- multi-megabuck Burroughs, from Hugh
"Chariots of Fire" Hudson. HOUSE OF THE LONG SHADOWS -- Price,
Lee, Cushing and Carradine. No plot summary, but with a cast
like that who cares? THE KEEP -- Nazis fight demons in a
creepy old castle. How can they tell them apart? KRULL --
sword & sorcery thingie. No different from all the rest, I
suspect. THE SENDER -- fun and games with a suicidal telepath.
(I'm not making these up, honestly.) SUPERMAN III -- 'nuff
said. If you don't know what to expect by now... SWORD OF THE
VALIANT -- Sean Connery, Peter Cushing, Ronald `Coathanger'
Lacey take another crack at Sir Gawain and the Green Knight...
The thing I find most interesting is the obvious trend away
from space and futuristic subjects towards pulp adventure and
the paranormal. I'm not sure if this represents the start of a
new cycle, or just reflects the lower budgets available in the
UK."
GEORGE FLYNN -- "As you may have heard, ConStellation has
subcontracted to NESFA the production of a book of John
Brunner's songs. These are about evenly divided between SF
parodies and political songs (about rotten landlords,
murdering generals, and all that sort of thing); the latter
produced a minor outbreak of revulsion among the more
conservative NESFA members, who subsided upon being informed
that we already had a contract." (NESFA: New England SF Assoc,
o ignorant ones.)
RAMSEY CAMPBELL (re the once `unprintable' King tale mentioned
in A33) -- "As for its being refused publication elsewhere, I
for one never saw it, nor even knew of its existence until
after I'd closed NEW TERRORS. I gather it has now been
published in America, I believe in a Charles L.Grant
anthology. Speaking of unprintability, I can claim to be the
author of the (commissioned in advance) story the LIVERPOOL
DAILY POST wouldn't print ('Calling Card') and the TWILIGHT
ZONE story that Herbert van Thal wouldn't use in his
pornographic Pan series ('Again'), though I'm not sure if the
latter is because it was too tasteful or too disturbing. Both
events can now be seen as stages in my progress to being the
British horror author nobody in Britain will print -- at
least, as of now I'm wholly out of print in Britain save for
some of my anthologies and a few short stories. `We all go
down together, mate,' Chris Priest comforts." (Ouch.)
PETER WAREHAM contributes a snippet from "TV-Cable Week"
spotted during his us holiday -- "How do you script a sequel
to a film in which the protagonists buy the farm? Well,
writers Terry (CANDY) Southern and Michael (SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE) O'Donoghue are even now polishing BIKERS' HEAVEN, a
vehicle for EASY RIDERS Dennis Hopper and Peter Fonda. As
Hopper, 47, has come to explain the new movie: `It takes place
100 years after a nuclear holocaust. This guy on a golden
Harley comes down from outer space and brings Peter and me
back to life to save America, which has been overrun by mutant
bike gangs, black Nazis and lesbian sadists.' Oh." (The piece
is unsigned, but here at "Ansible" we feel the author has the
right attitude. Watch for sequels to "On the Beach", "Dr
Strangelove"...)
AHRVID ENGHOLM -- "SEFF, the Scandinavian-European Fan Fund,
intends to bring over a scandinavian fan to Seacon 84. Any fan
may nominate one candidate -- send your nomination of the
Swedish fan you'd like to see at Seacon 84, no later than 18
AUGUST 1983, to me at Maskinistgaten 9 Ob, S-117 47 Stockholm,
Sweden. The most popular fans will later appear on the final
ballot which will be distributed this autumn. Donations to the
fund are highly appreciated!" (To clarify: nominations need
not be accompanied by donations, but they'd be welcome; voting
will require a donation as with TAFF/DUFF/GUFF. Ahrvid is
Scandinavian administrator and is still after a UK
administrator for SEFF. Also he's editorial secretary of
Sweden's "Teknik-Magasinet" (means more or less what it
sounds like), sponsored by the biggest local magazine
publishers and with a planned run of 50,000. Autumn launch.
Another real fan, Anders Palm, is editor-in-chief, and sf,
reviews and fannish articles are expected. Ahrvid also hopes
to run translations of published stories by UK writers.)
DAVE LOCKE sends a thrilling news item -- "FANNISH LITTLE
AMATEUR PRESS HAS SLIGHT FLAP... Co-OE Locke was observed
scratching his head as zine after incoming zine contained
mailing comments castigating ace fanwriter Langford for
subtle, invidious and unspecified remarks made in the previous
mailing against the personage of the co-OE. Langford himself,
in responding to Locke's review of THE SPACE EATER, commented
`Lots of thanks, and I take back all the obscure jokes about
you last issue'... Due to recent experiments in FLAP to encode
messages by such devious means as underlining letters or using
the first word or first letter of each sentence, reviewing
Langford's two-page `last issue' for subtle or encoded slander
became a task of almost forbidding proportions. Before he was
carried away, the co-OE was finally observed holding the
potentially offending sheet of paper up to a mirror while
sprinkling his own urine on it..." (Strange people, these
Americans, eh?)
L5: Charles Platt passes on an L5 Society flyer featuring a
really quite remarkably illiterate exhortation to join, from
Robert Heinlein. With amusement Charles points out the naked
nationalism ("The construction crews may speak Chinese or
Russian -- Swahili or Portuguese" warns RAH in accents of
horror) followed by hasty internationalism: "Space is big
enough for everyone -- all races, all languages." So long as
America gets there first... SUSAN WOOD collection (advertised
last issue)sold out, but the `Best Fanwriting of 1981'
collection is still available from me for #2 post free,
proceeds to TAFF... BIG IKE: ANSIBLE, the fnz of sweetness and
light, has found something nice to say about Asimov (in SFC).
Proof copies of his novel THE ROBOTS OF DAWN are infesting
America, while, because Asimov is a lonely and obscure author
devoid of public recognition, Columbia U is cheering him up
with an honorary doctorate. "Writing brilliantly about the
future," they told him encouragingly, "you have shown a
profound understanding of the past; your respect for fact is
equalled only by the penetration of your fantasies." Excuse
me, I feel momentarily unwell... SPACE-EX 1984, the planned
hugecon, came nostalgically to mind when I unearthed their
last publication, the Jan 1981 newsletter which opened with a
broadside of dyslexic denials of the rumoured cancellation.
Oh, fond memories. A letter to organizers ISTRA evoked no
reply. Anyone pay money for this thing? Anyone hear from them
recently? Anyone get any money back?... MICHAEL WHELAN
recently broke his right wrist in karate class, reports SFC: I
can think of many artists and writers far more deserving of
this incapacity... SPACE EATER 6th favourite first novel in
LOCUS poll! Wow. My thanks to both voters... HUGOS: the
statistically implausibly number of ties which produced more
or less than the standard five finalists in four Hugo
categories and the JWC award (Hugo categories were novel,
novella [somehow I omitted mention of K.S.Robinson's `To Leave
a Mark' here in A33], artist, fanwriter) resulted from the
Worldcon committee's decision that two items less than X votes
apart, X not being specified, would be treated as tied. Need I
remark that the Hugo rules make no such provision? (F770)...
AVEDON CAROL reaches page 16 of TAFF report!
COA
WILLIAM BAINS, 1950 Cooley Avenue #5207, Palo Alto, CA 94303,
US :: JIM BARKER, pesty fellow, asks me to stress that his
business address as mentioned last issue is not for mere
fanzines etc -- send to his home, 113 Windsor Road, Falkirk,
FK2 5DB :: AL FITZPATRICK, 214 Morsetown Road, West Milford,
NJ 07480, USA :: STEVE HIGGINS, 26 Montague Road, Hornsey,
London, N8 9PJ :: AKE JONSSON, Regementsgatan 53, S-723 45
VASTERAS, Sweden :: ANN LOOKER, 12 Russell Street, Swansea,
Wales, SA1 4HR :: VIC NORRIS, 29 rue des Chapelles, Sevres
92310, France :: EUNICE PEARSON & PHILL PROBERT, "Ballard's
View", 32 Digby House, Colletts Grove, Kingshurst, Birmingham,
B37 6JE :: DAI PRICE (to end August), 2 Gaer Road, Newport,
Gwent, NPT 3AD :: GEOFF RYMAN (from 15 July), Manor Farm
Cottage, Crawley Road, Old Minster Lovell, Oxon :: CYRIL SIMSA
is moving he knows not where in mid-to-late July: mail c/o 18
Muswell Avenue, London, N10 2EG :: JEFF SUTER (but NOT Pam
Wells, who is staying put), 4 Henry Road, Finsbury Park,
London N.4 :: SIMONE WALSH, 74 Corsebar Road, Top Flat/Left,
Paisley, Scotland, PA2 9PS :: ROB WELBOURN, Flat 7, 11 Eldon
Square, Reading, RG1 4DP :: To answer certain confused
enquiries: you don't have to be famous to have your CoA
mentioned here; it's automatic if you're an A subscriber or
buddy; otherwise, try intimidation or (especially) bribery ::
Unusually, we have some Changes of Name: GRAHAM KOCH (formerly
Graham England, but he lives in Germany where postmen get very
confused by the old surname and send his mail back over here)
:: MIKE DON (formerly known, though only in ANSIBLE, as Mike
Yon thanks to his awful handwriting and anonymity in his own
fanzine) :: CATHRYN EASTHOPE ::
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
APPALLING SCENES AT BRUNNER'S SILVER WEDDING PARTY (2 July),
if any, were not observed by your editor, nor by the steering
committee of Seacon 84 (J.Brunner, Co-Chairman) since they
were cleverly scheduled for a meeting in Birmingham that
day... Marjorie Brunner sends harrowing details of the return
from their Italian trip (car hood ripped off, wine, presents
and other valuables removed) and John a release about how the
month abroad since January, the coming teaching at the Arvon
Foundation (mid-July), the International Conference of Writers
in Hiroshima (end July), the Baltimore Worldcon GoH appearance
followed by something else in California and Cymrucon GoH-ing
(Nov)... all this and Seacon 84 is slowing up his current
novel. Poor John... "MY, HE'S RATHER GOOD-LOOKING" said Ted
White of a certain British fan caught in Avedon Carol's UK
photographs, and according to her was quite disappointed that
she hadn't fooled around (her phrasing) with this sensuous
chap. Good-looking? "I hadn't really thought so myself, and
certainly not from these pictures of him, but Ted was, well,
intrigued, I guess. Well, is this a new transatlantic romance
in the making?" (AC) The UK fan in question was, of course,
Phil Palmer... GROUP THEORY: Reading skiffyfans meet these
days on the 3rd Thursday each month (Railway Tavern,
Greyfriars Street, ignore Steve Green's BSFA Clubs Directory
-- I hear the Gannet venue there is some years out of date,
too). Steve himself, famous for having interviewed Margaret
Thatcher during her pre-election Brum visit ("didn't use the
opportunity to attempt an assassination before the election,
thus saving the entire country the mindnumbing torment of
staying up for the results, alas..." SG), mentions the
Solihull group's habit of meeting 2nd Sunday each month (Red
House, Hermitage Road) and charging #1/year membership. All
pales before the egregious `SF in Southend' under infant
prodigy Joe Beedell, whose habits of charging lots for
membership, offering little in return bar the chance to
subscribe to a group fanzine, buying unspecified quantities of
office equipment for his own use from group funds, raising
subs in a tactful way whereby to have paid #3 or whatever last
week still leaves you liable for #4 or whatever immediately
after the increase... these rumoured habits have caused
Unrest, and even now Joe is getting in Real Accountants to
audit everything, scotch rumours and find the #100 or so
alleged to have gone missing (AS)... THE ANSWER: #2A is the
cryptic comment scribbled in my deadly notebook against the
names of those who have just given me #2 subscription for
something called A. "Good grief," said Martin Hoare,
interrupting execution on his mouth/ale interface, "that's the
Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, in hexadecimal!"
As of this year Mr Hoare is 1F even though he may look 4F...
FORBIDDEN PLANET SF CON (US) has Charles Platt in charge of
programming: by the time you read this Samuel Delany should
have interviewed A.E.van Vogt (the mind splurgs) and Tom
Disch, if not restrained, will have read his coming TWILIGHT
ZONE hatchet job on the complete works of Jack Chalker, to an
audience consisting largely of Jack Chalker... COLIN
GREENLAND, famous author, has at last sold his famous novel
DAYBREAK ON A DISTANT MOUNTAIN to Unwin's pb fantasy line.
Greenland Appreciation Society supremo Ian Watson is counting
the minutes until he lays hands on a review copy... FANTASYCON
data just arrived, and I take back any unkind thoughts which
may have crossed my mind in the remote past (p.2). 14-16 Oct,
New Imperial Hotel, Brum: #7.50 att (#6.50 BFS members) to 15
Stanley Road, Morden, Surrey. Rooms #12.50/person/night. COA:
STEVE JONES/JO FLETCHER/BFS publications, 130 Park View,
Wembley, Middlesex, HA9 6JU... RIP: Bob Pavlat, longtime fan
and FAPA stalwart, died of pneumonia on 17 June; he was 57.
Buster Crabbe, Olympic gold medallist famous for playing Flash
Gordon (& Buck Rogers) died of a heart attack at 75, on 17
April (DAVE LOCKE, SFC)... BARRY BAYLEY spoke to the Brum
Group in June. Why did Brumfans later shudder in horror at the
suggestion that he be asked to a certain other con? Why were
comparisons made with the late Edmund Cooper (who if memory
serves me right regaled bored Brummies with between-drinks
details of how he'd done naughty things that day with both
wife and mistress, until he fell over)? ANSIBLE is eager for
hard facts which will explode these vile allegations, or
not... HUGO NAME PRO EMERGES FROM READING: local fan, BFS mole
and Derleth hierophant Nic Howard has sold his `verse cycle'
FOLLOW THE DREAM to Moorlands Press under their special terms
of 0% royalties and all the copies you can carry... TALKING
HEADS: Scotfans Matt Sillars & Brian Hennigan are running an
appeal in their fnz THE HEAD to (a) raise #500 to sponsor a
(democratically chosen) SF book's recording on 14-hour
cassette by the RNIB for blind fans; (b) encourage taping of
fnz for the same. 8 Beaverbank Place, Edinburgh, EH7 4ER...
BATTLEFIELD EARTH, notes F770, was within 20 nominations of
the 96 minimum (scored by Cherryh's PRIDE OF CHANUR) to reach
the Hugo final ballot. I'll say no more, having been Reproved
by one John Hertz in that same fnz for daring to mention
Scientology and BE on the same page. "Langford's potshots
aren't even `man bites dog'," he complains, presumably
meaning that the BE controversy is normal `dog bites man' news
and that I should instead focus on those rare, bizarre books
whose weirdly non-reclusive authors are never rumoured to be
dead/gaga, which are curiously unpublicized by Scientologists
and whose UK editions are unprecedentedly published rather
than hastily cancelled... FUZZY LANGUAGE is George Hay's
contribution to computer thought: away with all these
cloggingly precise relationships, instead let's have, eg.: `in
some circumstances equals', `could quite possibly mean
that'... Offers from IBM, please? FOUNDATION AGM 21 July
2pm...
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #25: HEBREW
Contributed by Edmund Wilson
At the Convention Fancy-Dress:
SHOKOH -- to wander around lasciviously.
ANSIBLE 34: Dave Langford
94 London Road, Reading,
Berks., RG1 5AU, England.
[Ends]
ANSIBLE 35, October 1983: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by ALEX McLINTOCK
... to whom many thanks! Alex insisted on adding a word of
his own (ruthlessly moved to the end of the text).
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
The Oct 83 issue of Britain's occasionally frequent SF
newsletter from DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKS,
RG1 5AU. Still #2.00 for 7 issues, airmailed outside UK: notes
to me, cheques to ANSIBLE, Giro transfer to a/c 24 475 4403.
Americans may send $3.50 to Burns, 23 Kensington Ct.
Hempstead. NY 11550. Artwork by Margaret Welbank, e-stencils
by John Harvey, labels by Keith Freeman -- please resubscribe
if yours says SUB DUE or ****. #35 is late because your editor
diverted his priceless time to finish a novel for Frederick
Muller Ltd, out (with luck) next Spring; #35 has a somewhat
cheapo aspect because your editor is broke. Back to litho and
sybaritic luxury next time, I devoutly hope.
=============================================================
### AWARDS
The Hugos offered some surprises, but not in the novel
category, won by Isaac A's FOUNDATION'S EDGE, the novel which
supersedes Valium. Novella: `Souls', Joanna Russ. Novelette:
`Fire Watch'. Connie Willis. Short: `Melancholy Elephants',
Spider Robinson. Nonfic: ISAAC ASIMOV: THE FOUNDATIONS OF SF,
James Gunn. Editor: Ed Ferman. Artist: Michael Whelan.
Dramatic: BLADERUNNER. `Fanzine'. Locus. Fanwriter: Dick Geis.
Fanartist: Alexis Gilliland. JWC Award (for new writer -- not
a Hugo): Paul O Williams. And the coveted award of the Right
To Hold The 1985 Worldcon went as expected to Melbourne,
Australia (GoH Gene Wolfe, FGoH Ted White, 22-26 August 85),
and a British 1987 bid was almost instantly mooted to save
Americans from the awful 87 alternatives of Phoenix and San
Diego. Meanwhile back in civilisation, an international panel
awarded the JWC Memorial Award to HELLICONIA SPRING by
Brian... Brian something... it's on the tip of my tongue...
### COSMIC AWARDS
Of far more cosmic value was the straw poll at Silicon 7,
where on penalty of not receiving free drinks the entire
membership passed on these cosmic issues:
WHO IS THE BIGGEST WALLY IN FANDOM? Fake Bob Shaw 11%, V.Brown
/ S.Green 9%, `Me' 7%, M. Hoare / I. Sorensen / S.Polley 4%
WHICH FAN WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE KING / QUEEN? D.West 15%,
J.Nicholas 10%, E.Harvey / H.Bell / R.Kaveney 8%
FAVOURITE CON OF THE YEAR? Silicon 59%, Eastercon 10%, Beccon
/ `Next one' / Novacon 4%
WHICH FAN WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE? `Me' 23%, D.Langford 10%,
`Richest' 8%, G.Pickersgill / M.Welbank / R.Hansen 5% -- also
`Chris Evans with hair', `Lady Windermere's')
BEST RECENT FANZINE? Still It Moves 17%, Tappen 12%, Out of
the Blue / Tiger Tea / Twll-Ddu / DT 8%, A Cool Head / Ansible
/ Epsilon 6%
MOST CUDDLY FAN E.Harvey 17%, I.Williams 14%, L.Pickersgill
12%, A.Akien 7%, J.Harvey 5%, J.Scrivner 4%, J.Barker 2%
WORST DRESSED? A.Frost 15%, D.West / A.Harries 10%, R.Kaveney
7%, R.Jackson / D.Bridges / J.Nicholas 5%
FAVOURITE FAN OVER 50? D.West 18%, I.Williams 9%, M.Edwards /
K.Slater / R.Peyton / B.Shaw 5%, J.Jarrold 7% -- the Gannets
ordered this list, not me -- K.Smith 2%
FAVOURITE UNDER 10? I.Williams 16%, Amanda Dorey / I.Maule /
P.Turner 9%, S.Green / D.West / D.Jackson 5%
WHICH FAN SHOULD BE EXHUMED? D.West 14%, L.Kettle / P.Weston /
W.Willis 9%, R.Jackson / S.Polley / G.Pickersgill /
H.P.Lovecraft 6%. -- EXHUMED AND REBURIED? P.Weston 23%
F.B.Shaw 18% D.West 8% G.Pickersgill / S.Polley / I.Asimov 5%
MOST BORING FAN? A.Akien 19%, G.Webb / S.Green 9%, V.Brown /
P.Weston / I.Watson / G.Bondar / F.B.Shaw / J.Brunner 4%
FILM HERO(INE) YOU'D MOST LIKE TO BE? Barbarella 7%, D.Bowman
/ Flesh Gordon / B.Bunny 2%
FAN WITH BEST POSE? J.Jarrold 23%, J.Nicholas 15%, D.West 9%
NICEST FAN? `Me' 15%, L.Pickersgill 11%, E.& J. Harvey 7% --
also `a dumb G.Pickersgill'
WHICH BABY BORN INTO FANDOM RECENTLY GAVE YOU MOST PLEASURE?
None 31%, A.Dorey 14%, The One That Doesn't Get Brought To
Cons / S.Polley / Interzone / T.P.Atkinson Edwards / H.
Oldroyd 6%
SEXIEST VOICE? E.Harvey / `Me' / L.Pickersgill 9%, A.Akien 7%
FAN TO TAKE TO A DESERT ISLAND? L.Pickersgill 21%, J.Hanna /
E.Harvey 10%, G.Pickersgill / D.Langford 5%
WHICH FAN SHOULD BE STRUCK DUMB A.Harries/ A.Akien 10%,
S.Green 8%, S.Lawson / D.Jackson / F.B.Shaw / G.Pickersgill /
J.Nicholas 5%
BEST LOOKING FEMALE? L.Pickersgill 20%, S.Hepple 15%,
S.Kavanagh 8%. -- MALE? R.Hansen 23%. S.Higgins 10%, D.West /
M.Edwards 8%, R. Holdstock/J.Jarrold 5%
WHERE'D YOU MOST LIKE A CON? London 21%, Newcastle 8%, Hawaii
/ York 5%. -- LEAST LIKE A CON? Brighton 21%, Glasgow 16%,
Blackpool 5%, Birmingham/Iran 3%
Also the most popular appliance with which to be marooned on a
desert island was a typewriter and/or an Inflatable Steve
Higgins / Eve Harvey / Linda Pickersgill. Market researchers
take note.
### CONSTELLATION ### Malcolm Edwards
Several thousand people showed up to the World SF Convention
in Baltimore -- conceivably enough to avert the committee's
bankruptcy (rumour had it that they were so grossly overspent
that any figure less then 7500 attending spelt disaster).
(Final attendance was a shade over 6000 -- DRL) Still, by
Saturday 800 people were said to have shown up and paid at the
door -- $55 full attending membership which is, believe me.
Too Much.
ConStellation was held in a convention centre and several main
hotels. The committee had cunningly arranged for the Hilton to
be the `party hotel', even though it was much further from the
centre than was the Hyatt, and even though its 23 floors were
serviced by just two lifts. The convention itself? Mediocre
organisation and programming, I'd say, but went off OK. (At
least, I had a good time ) The main programme was remarkably
short on items of any interest. The fan programme worked
better, and the new practice (to Americans) of having a fan
lounge / fanroom area did serve its purpose by providing a
focal area where people could find each other. Highlight of
the fan program was the `Fans Are Slans' panel, wherein Steve
Stiles extemporised a remarkable account of Claude Degler's
insanitary habits, John Shirley exposed parts of his body
nobody (except representatives of the French media) wanted to
see, and Charles Platt developed his `I love fandom' act with
glutinous sincerity. Lowlight of the main programme was the
Hugo ceremony, which sabotaged its own intention of being
short and punchy by starting 45 minutes late. The restive
audience was then treated to slides projected onto one of
those monster videoscreens currently popular at sports stadia.
Evidently nobody had told the organisers that the image on
such screens doesn't resolve until you're about 100 yards
away... cavernous as it was, the main hall was no more than 75
yards long. A slide came up. Toastmaster Jack `I've never won
a Hugo' Chalker invited the audience to guess what it was. It
looked to me like bits of tumbleweed on a desert plain.
`That's right.' said Jack, `the first Worldcon banquet.' Not
many surprises among the awards, except the relegation of E.T.
to third place. Isaac Asimov, receiving his Hugo, said that it
really belonged to everyone who had ever written sf. But he
refused to hand it over to me later.
Missed moment of the con: Charles Platt and I were
talking at length to Fred Harris of Author Services Inc.
(L.Ron Hubbard promotional organisation), hoping to extract
some untoward revelation. Finally he leaned forward saying. `I
really shouldn't tell you this --' We waited in eager
anticipation. A person from Porlock (or in this case Locus)
unknowingly intervened. The moment was gone.
British representation was not overwhelming but did
exist. I spotted John & Marjorie Brunner (of course), Martin
Tudor, John Bark, Colin Fine, Huge Machete, Tanith Lee among
others.
Almost the first thing that happened after we arrived was
that I was summoned by Bruce Pelz, who told me that Britain
had to bid for the 1987 Worldcon, since the West coast bids
(Phoenix and San Diego) were not popular even with West Coast
fans. It wasn't long before other prominent West Coasters --
Craig Miller and Gary Farber to name but two -- reinforced
this message. The rest is -- or one day will be -- history.
### BRITAIN IN 1987
We interrupt Worldcon coverage to announce that a bidding
committee nucleus has been formed, or more correctly has
formed itself, and so far consists of Malcolm Edwards, Chris
Atkinson and Dave Langford. A few more names should have been
added by Novacon, where we hope to discuss the whole thing in
an open forum (rotten eggs should be left at the door)
Expressions of support, encouragement, unbridled lust, etc.
would doubtless be welcome, care of Malcolm or Ansible.
MARY BURNS sent pages on ConStellation, opening `overall
this was a good Worldcon' and proceeding in true Ansible style
to an extensive list of flaws. Programme: `There were up to 15
tracks going at the same time... poor choice of competing
alternatives, scheduling fan GoH speech against the slide
presentation about the new Indiana Jones movie and the making
of The Return of the Jedi.' Masquerade: `Poorly executed...
video bad, cameraman often stayed on the MC instead of the
costume or focused on the wrong thing... slow handclaps at
too-long and too-boring presentation by MC.. 130 costumes,
Presentation started an hour and a half late. Many people
walked out before then.' (Apparently seven children's costumes
were shown earlier, and everything else was endlessly delayed
while the obligatory prizes all round -- calligraphed
certificates -- were prepared for the seven. so they could
then go to bed. As they didn't, and as the kids in the
audience were thus kept up much later than need be, this seems
not wholly sensible.) Overall: `Too many people. Too many
hotels. Probably unavoidable.' Mary, in the Hilton, tended to
miss late-night items in the Hyatt, `Baltimore streets could
be dangerous to my health if I went between them by myself...'
Sounds like my own vain efforts to get to bed early at
Novacons, striding resolutely through the bar and... (after
that, the dark).
Feetnote.... Least Likely Prohibition At A Con: fans were
sternly forbidden to walk about exposing their naked feet in
the con centre. Most Boring Statistic: Melbourne got 642 out
of 725 site selection votes, whereas Bingley received one
write-in vote. Fascist Oppression Dept: Astral League Poles
were brutally confiscated during the masquerade --
subsequently apologies were issued in the con newsletter
`Scuttlebutt' (ed. Mike Glyer), whence most of these notes,
and `responsible' use of poles declared OK, leaving the status
of the Astral Initiation open to doubt. Hugo Statistics: too
boring to list, but just to twist the knife in the wound I
reveal that the final novel placing was FOUNDATION'S ITCH.
PRIDE OF CHANUR (which actually got most first place votes),
2010, FRIDAY, COURTSHIP RITE and SWORD OF THE LICTOR. (Bill
Evans)
[Change of Address list left out from this typing -- AlexMC]
### VENTURE INTO SF
The second SF Supper Club gathering saw Desmond Clarke,
director of the Book Marketing Council, defending this
promotion (cannily not titled `Best of SF') against hordes of
rotten nitpickers. Asked why a campaign to promote SF featured
(e.g.) a Donaldson fantasy bestseller in no need of promotion,
D.Clarke had no hesitation in exclaiming that even when
something was a bestseller the volume of sales could still be
increased no end. Blank silence from fandom. Cornered and
asked the point of this drive to make visibly rich (in many
cases) authors richer still, he was not afraid to explain
there'd very likely be another and much better follow-up
promotion. Tackled again on the matter of Donaldson, he
fearlessly admitted it was all the judges' fault (the judges,
you will remember, blame the publishers; one wonders if the
publishers blame the BMC.) All the fans' points about this
campaign's choices and omissions are made by Chris Priest in a
BOOKSELLER article, `Venture into the Stodgy': `The old
pecking order remains, and those wrongfully neglected go on
being so.' Aldiss, Ballard, Moorcock, Silverberg and Wolfe
are all expected at the 10 Oct promotion launch in London; the
revelry continues to 22 Oct. I wait in fear and trembling.
Also at the SFSC: Bob Shaw attempted to teach D.Langford
his renowned trick of not falling over, with little success.
Famous literary agent Maggie Noach pointed a small dog at
people in the hope that it would divine literary talent, and
was seen to associate with newly-famous Mary Gentle with open
intimacy which (scandalmongers rumoured) presaged a sensuous
author/agent relationship. Chris Evans pinched my reviews
notebook and thrust it at Rob Holdstock, strangely open at the
page containing a detailed statistical analysis of the works
of Robert P Faulcon's `Nighthunter' books (broken down into
Major Atrocities, Minor Supernatural Frissons, Outbreaks Of
Italics and Bodies Per Chapter).. `I didn't really have a
body-count running into three figures in Book 3, did I?' said
Rob with moans which were terrible to behold.
BRIAN STABLEFORD is plunging back into writing owing to a
slight financial crisis caused by the departure of lovely Viv
Stableford: `I can't stand living in Reading.' she cried, and
has bought a house in Swansea where she lives with the kids
and which Brian (tied to Reading by university tenure) is
permitted to help redecorate. The current Stableford
masterwork is non-fiction about bionics, genetic engineering,
etc., for the ill-famed Roxby Press. whose overlord Hugh Elwes
is insisting the book be titled FUTURE MAN despite the
existence in print of Chris Morgan's opus of genetic
engineering, bionics, etc., interestingly titled FUTURE MAN.
Next challenge for Brian: to re-establish relations with
cuddly, batrachian Don Wollheim, strained since DAW left off
the downbeat ending of a recent Stableford novel. Writing to
LOCUS (who didn't publish it) and DAW, Brian cracked jokes
about censorship etc: a very annoyed Wollheim issued an
unanswerable counterblast to the affect that `we didn't censor
a word, it was just a routine, in-house losing of the last
page of the manuscript.'
SPEAKING OF DAW, we have an unattributable rumour from Joyce
Scrivner, who reports that [[Sorry, chaps. This was the one
time ANSIBLE did nearly get sued. Every trace of the original
allegation has therefore been expunged. Literary detectives
will just have to reconstruct what they can from the apology
in ANSIBLE 34.]]
ROBERT P FAULCON AGAIN! What is the eerie significance of the
aged, doddering couple called Pat & Graham Charnock who in
`Nighthunter' 3 are eaten by a giant spider? Or of the
virginal schoolteacher Kath Mitchell who succumbs to an evil,
debilitating, lustful, sweaty, greasy embrace? Does the evil
etc. embracer have a big nose? Ansible waits agog for Book 4.
BRIAN ALDISS must be delighted by US ads for HELLICONIA
SPRING: in SFWA BULLETIN, Atheneum proudly quote the review of
one Roger Schlobin, who compares HS with `such other
monumental world-creating-efforts' as FOUNDATION (h'm), the
DUNE series (h'm) and ... grand climax ... the Proton/Phaze
Trilogy by Piers Anthony.
DAYBREAK ON A DIFFERENT MOUNTAIN, not long to be denied you by
Unwin/Unicorn, is the real title of Colin Greenfinger's novel
DAYSEND ON A DISTINCT MUNDANE, misheard in a phone call from
informant Malcolm Edwards and printed last issue as DAYSPRING
ON A DEFERENT MOUNTAIN. We at Lesbian suspect this was
engineered by C.Greenstreet to ensure further mentions of
OFFSPRING OF A DIFFICULT MOUNTING...
POCKET BOOKS ETC: Somewhere back in pre-geological time (A#34)
there began to unfold a saga of Proustian proportions and
similar riveting plotline. In brief: unhappy with D.Hartwell's
handling of the Timescape SF line (specifically his inability
to create bestsellers on a publicity budget of 45 cents per
book), Pocket Books gave him the boot and announced a
secretly fomented deal with famous hack literary agents Scott
Meredith Inc, who'd be in the enviable position of packaging a
Timescape line relabelled `Starscope' (for no apparent reason,
except that this cleverly ditches the goodwill built up by
Timescape), and would be able to favour SM authors if they
chose... `Conflict of interest,' howled SFWA, and quite right
too. Greg Benford takes it from there: `I enclose the
just-received press release surrendering the Meredith
connection. I am proud of SFWA's alliance with the agents to
stop SM taking over the Timescape line. Reportedly. Pocket
wrote a press release saying they had differences with
Meredith and were breaking off the deal, and mentioning the
pressure from-SFWA & agents. They circulated that one
in-house, decided it gave too much away, recalled all copies,
and issued a new one saying they weren't bending to pressure
after all.' (The new PR explains that absolutely no problem
that anyone could possibly imagine was responsible for the
change of plan, which just sort of happened.) 'They caved in,
in part because we had an injunction set to go to court and
through the Federal Trade Commission, all nicely researched
... and we (SFWA authors & Directors) -- had agreed to pour
money into the battle, shorting some SFWA programs if need be,
and making sure Busch [Pocket president] found that out....
our networks worked remarkably in this crisis. Busch got
sandbagged in the press,partly because we already knew his
position before he opened his mouth. so we undercut him at
every turn.' (GB)
Pocket authors have been enjoying a series of rumours
about the new Timescape, or Starscope, editor. Born-again
anthologist Roger Elwood; Jim Baen of Tor Books (whose
publisher was listening over his shoulder as he got the call
from Pocket); Ben Bova; even George Scithers. I am
unconvinced by the non-attributable source signing himself
`Yours in it up to here'. who guesses the job will go to that
`reliable arbiter of taste, leading stylist and noted
commentator... Darrell Schweitzer.' Excuse me....
Why am I taking such interest in a US firm's fate?
Because I am a close and fascinated spectator of Pocket's
finances: owing to a contract hassle I still don't fully
understand, Timescape have had my very own SF novel in print
for eight months without having paid any advance money
whatever, and apparently without a contract as well. With
financial wizardry like this I don't see how Timescape could
possibly lose money.
INTERZONE: Slagged off by other collective members for `trying
to be honest and realistic' in the depressing resubscription
figures last issue, Dave Pringle has adopted a mood of buoyant
optimism. Resubs were last seen at 50% and rising; issue 5
sent to lapsed subscribers by way of encouragement;
unpublished Philip K Dick material promised by his literary
executor Paul Williams; issue 6 to contain Keith Roberts's
`Kitecadet', sequel to `Kitemaster' and appearing for the
first time in IZ despite false claims to the contrary in
Scithers AMAZING ads (AMAZING gets to publish it many moons
after IZ). A point: IZ is often called the successor to New
Worlds -- to the partial irritation of its editors -- and it
was interesting to read Mike Moorcock's massive Fontana
anthology of NW, with its mention of those who carry on the
`tradition' of that mag. Today's only possible candidate is
IZ -- which is nowhere mentioned. Take that, INTERZONE, for
daring to question the wonderfulness of NW in that editorial!
[[Here is what the OCR software had to say about Battlefield
Earth - AlexMC]]
BATT'LEFIELD URTH (oo@. that again) missed
1983 BuR0 notaination.by only 15 voted, . confirms
omnisci-nt Ted White. A little more'jahoulder-to@
shoulder effort from those staunch. allies `Bjo 'ñri
mble and Charles Platt, an.d thert BE would have
boon, and in tha opinion of s=e. fin-a the Rug6
would have been diicredited.forever.,(Other fana
would silently point to *^me of the things that
were n@nated. and won, this year.) Ted: "At
@stercon I encountered (despite minor off orts
to avoid her) Bjo Tr @le, who informed me' cheld@
won a bet because 6f my criticism of her atd
John's BE fanclub and llugo-nomination eftotte.
'I bet at,LASFS thit you'd be one of'the
cople w@ignored oxir 30.years of service to
@andom, ijha told,,ze with a =derately straight
face. I told her I thought l)er promotion of AE
was morally indefenijible." (TW)-my favour:ite
behind-the- "ceiies expl@ation of. why @ dropped
out of publishing a British Izrdback of BE: zooms
7Y im
t""y learnt that Scientologisto had alrea ported 15,000 copies
of the Averican hardback.
somewhat vitiating the t@.arket.
[[Thank you, Alex. Very droll. Now I suppose I'll have to do a
corrected version.... DRL]]
BATTLEFIELD EARTH (sorry, that again) missed 1983 Hugo
nomination by only 15 votes, confirms omniscient Ted White. A
little more shoulder-to-shoulder effort from those staunch
allies Bjo Trimble and Charles Platt, and there BE would have
been, and in tha opinion of some fans the Hugo would have been
discredited forever. (Other fans would silently point to some
of the things that _were_ nominated, and won, this year.) Ted:
"At Westercon I encountered (despite minor efforts to avoid
her) Bjo Trimble, who informed me she'd won a bet because of
my criticism of her and John's BE fanclub and Hugo-nomination
efforts. `I bet a guy at LASFS that you'd be one of the people
who ignored our 30 years of service to fandom,' she told me
with a moderately straight face. I told her I thought her
promotion of BE was morally indefensible." (TW) My favourite
behind-the-scenes explanation of why NEL dropped out of
publishing a British hardback of BE: seems they learnt that
Scientologists had already imported 15,000 copies of the
American hardback, somewhat vitiating the market.
SPEAKING OF CHARLES PLATT, here he is at the NY Forbidden
Planet con: "In a panel on `how publishing really works' Fred
Pohl was accused by an audience member of advocating the
`Milton Friedman school of publishing'. Malzberg lamented `Has
no editor ever had the courage to create a new SF market as
opposed to following the trends?' To which I replied `Yes,
Judy-Lynn del Rey.' Jack Chalker and Tom Disch debated SF
criticism somewhat dully; Disch repeatedly hinted that he had
with him the MS of a forthcoming review he'd written of
Chalker, but Chalker refused to take the bait and ask Tom to
read it. `There are nine million SF critics in the SF world,'
said Chalker, `of whom 8,999,998 hate my guts.' He condemned
the `National Enquirer' school of criticism (i.e. PATCHIN
REVIEW)' and also all British critics. `I have an incredible
body' he said. `Of reviews.' he continued after a somewhat
confusing pause that had most of the audience momentarily
agreeing with him...
"I did an interview with Phil Farmer as a substitute for
a GoH speech. He gave me a list of questions to ask him,
including `If you had never been born, where would you be
now?' He said he didn't know the answer, but after a moment's
reflection came up with one. There is a large reservoir of
souls (he said), far more than there are available bodies.
Surplus souls are allotted individual body parts. `So if I
had been reincarnated as one of those souls,' said Philip Jose
Farmer, `I would like to have been Ronald Reagan's cock. Then
whenever he wanted to have sex, I could say, uh-uh, sorry Ron.
That way, he would never have been elected because no one's
going to vote for an impotent President.' Mothers of small
children in the audience appeared somewhat disconcerted by
this revelation." (C.Platt)
SATURN AWARDS announced at that con went to 2010 (novel), THE
ONE TREE (fantasy novel), Ballard's MYTHS OF THE NEAR FUTURE
(short -- the surprise of this batch, voted by US SF bookshop
customers), Donald Kingsbury (new writer), F&SF (magazine),
Michael Whelan (best cover: 2010).
THE CON WITH NO NAME, scheduled for September, seemingly tried
to make it as The Con With No Publicity and as a consequence
became The Con With No Registrations (well, a rumoured 12). It
self-destructed quietly. Which should be borne in mind by the
organisers of SPACE-EX 1984 (4-11 Aug Wembley Centre), an
event whose long silence has led most fans -- including some
who'd paid vast membership fees -- to a verdict of Presumed
Death. Many weeks after an attempt to check this and prise out
current data for ANSIBLE. I received this from Mike Parry:
`This letter would have been sooner had you enclosed a SAE as
is customary when requesting information. Space Ex 1984
Information is for registered members ONLY until Jan 1st 1984
when we will be advertising widely and when we ourselves are
sure of all our schedules celebrities etc etc. At which time
you will receive the fullest information that we can provide.
ISTRA only owes information to people who are registered, we
have to date done exactly that. And as we have sold out of
V.I.P. memberships, Public Registrations will be offered
January 1st.' (sic) Perhaps some member (this means you, Paul
Vincent) could share with me the closely guarded secrets
divulged in an immense flood since the last flyer I saw (Jan
81)? Can Space-Ex really have sold the 5000 advertised tickets
at prices from 15UKP (81) to 19UKP (83)? Why should any con
want a publicity blackout ending at a traditionally bad time
of year for ad campaigns (post-Xmas, with people's holiday
plans mainly fixed)? Answers to Space-Ex, 21 Hargwyne St.,
Stockwell, London. SW9 9RQ.
BOOKS. Asimov's THE ROBOTS OF DAWN is not as bad as
FOUNDATION'S EDGE (assures Brian Stableford, hot from slagging
off his proof copy) but is still incredibly verbose, stuffed
with further attempts to weld Asimov's disparate stories into
a triffic Future History, and makes thrilling use of a
brand-new suspense technique whereby sleuth Lije Bailey
realises the solution to the book's detective puzzle in a
blinding flash _every time_ he goes to sleep, forgetting it
every time he wakes up. Is Asimov's latter-day verbosity due
to his triffic word processor? Rumour has it that after
endorsing the wonderful, indispensable TRS-80 system which
made writing so much easier, Dr A found himself incapable of
using it and reverted to the old portable typewriter....
Heinlein has delivered JOB: A COMEDY OF JUSTICE, 400pp of
religious satire set partly in heaven and sounding
suspiciously like Cabell's JURGEN: A COMEDY OF JUSTICE (did
not win a Hugo). And GALACTIC MEGASTAR Robert P Faulcon's
Nighthunter series is all set for a LONG LONG run of ... oh,
they stopped you after 5 books, Rob? Sorry.
NEWS FROM JAPAN: from M. Edwards's DT I learn of a Japanese
con publication printing numberless `messages of support'
requested from UK/US writers. Most are heavy-handed Hints that
the writer in question would really like to visit Japan one
day as a con GoH.... Ellison goes over the top, listing a
dozen Japanese as the world's top fantasists, rivalled in the
West only by Borges, Marquez, Kakfa, Ellison. Ballard offers a
tasteful exhortation: `That great feat of arms, the Japanese
attack on Pearl Harbour on December 7, 1941, must now be
repeated in the realm of the imagination -- let the SF writers
of Japan set out across the skies of the human psyche, each
carrying a piece of that explosive future which will torpedo
the battleships of complacency and inertia!'
### TAFF, GUFF etc.
Most copies will feature a TAFF flyer, mentioning the names of
Hansen and Ounsley, plus the enigmatic D.West: in a postcard
from ConStellation, the Nielsen Haydens said `D.West confirmed
as TAFF candidate', but the most D.West was heard to say at
Silicon was something like `If elected I will stand.' Ballots
next issue, I imagine, when all will become still less clear.
Vote for a Welshman, folks.... The lucky delegate will attend
the 1984 Worldcon, LA-Con II in Los Angeles, whose co-Chairman
Craig Miller begs that I use Ansible's awesome facilities to
deny the rumour (SFC) that free memberships are being offered
to all SFWA members.
GUFF should bring an Australian to Seacon 84 here, the slate
consisting of Justin Ackroyd, Shayne McCormack, Jean Weber and
Roger Weddall (whose habit of phoning me at length about GUFF.
from Australia, left me in awe of his riches until Judith
Hanna revealed the secret to be a bent telephone engineer in
Melbourne). Ballots -- er -- real soon now?
DUFF operates between the US and Australia: at present Aussies
Jack R.Herman and John Packer are contending for the trip to
LA-Con II; and among those thinking ahead to the 1985
Melbourne DUFF race are said to be Joni Stopa, Marty & Robbie
Cantor, and Mike Glicksohn (er, US = NA up there).
SEFF is the Scandinavian-European Fan Fund, whose UK
administrator Colin Fine (205 Coldham's Lane, Cambridge CB1
3HY) says "Yes I know, but try getting an acronym out of `The
Scandinavian-All-the-bits-of-Europe-that-aren't-Scandinavia-
not-forgetting-offshore-islands-like-Britain Fan Fund'."
Contributions/nominations for a Scanfan to be inflicted on
Seacon 84 are requested.
SFAFF, standing for something unmemorable, is or was a
tentative plan to complement GUFF by bringing a continental
Eurofan to Melbourne in 85. Correspondence/enthusiasm to
James Styles in 342 Barkly St, Ararat, Vic 3377, Australia.
SF -- what, will the line stretch out to the crack of doom?-ie
the Shaw Fund planned to bring a democratically elected Bob
Shaw to this same Aussiecon II, Melbourne, 1985. Spurious Bob
Shaws excluded. Money to GPO Box 2708X-,Melbourne, Vic 3001,
Australia. Candidates include Bob Shaw.
SEARING CONTROVERSY about fan funds is rare, but here's one.
DUFF administrators Joyce Scrivner and Peter Toluzzi have been
getting some stick for (only the bravest should read on)
extending the poll deadline of the 1983 DUFFing, enabling an
alleged anti-Jan Finder lobby to allegedly affect the result
following an alleged but unproven leakage of interim totals.
Coincidentally there were similar rumours about the last TAFF
race, the allegation this time being that as a result of
leakage from US administrator Stu Shiffman, Moshe Feder tried
to drum up extra votes for Taral (to spare his hurt feelings
at getting so very few, rather than to affect the result). And
Scots BNF Frances Jane Nelson has launched an assault on TAFF
for bringing over the loathsome Avedon Carol, whose high
crimes appear to include such atrocities as being late for
things, cracking traditional banquet food jokes, not liking
Jan Howard Finder and spending too much time with someone
called Langford (bloody hell, I barely saw her after the first
day, too). Tut, tut.
### POLLS AGAIN
F770, from which some of the above was also pinched, reveals
the Pong poll results courtesy of Ted White. BEST FANWRITER
D.West, FANARTIST Dan Steffan, FANEDITOR Malcolm Edwards,
SINGLE PUBLICATION Warhoon 30, #1 FAN FACE Dan Steffan
(remember him?), NEW FAN Steve Bieler, FUGGHEAD OF THE YEAR
Seth Breidbart (who he?).
F770's own poll... FANWRITER (1) M.Glyer, (2).
D.Langford. (=3) R.E.Geis, T.Nielsen Hayden. Other Brits
featured: (=7) C.Atkinson, (=16) M.Edwards, (=21) K.Smith,
C.Priest, D.West. FANARTIST (1) S.Shiffman, (2) A.Gilliland,
(3) J.Hanke-Woods. Brits: (=24) R.Hansen. BEST CON GoH: Harlan
Ellison. Brits: (5) Jim White. MOST BORING & REPETITIOUS
READING (1) Discussions of whether Hubbard is alive (2) Dick
Geis on economics (3) Southern fan feuds (4) Asimov's
introductions to his own stories. Practically British item:
(9) Judith Hanna's convention reports. The poll also revealed
that 101 out of 140 fans would be unwilling to accept a Hugo
Award on behalf of Dick Geis.
### CONS & EVENTS
8 Oct 83: Kev Smith & Diana Reed get married in remote,
inaccessible bit of Cornwall. Langford makes best-man speech
negligibly altered from previous versions at M.Hoare nuptials.
Gene Wolfe & Robert Silverberg sign books at Forbidden Planet
in London.
14-16 Oct 83: FANTASYCON VIII, New Imperial Hotel, Brum.
GoH Gene Wolfe; membership #7.50. Ken Bulmer is MC; BFS Awards
to be presented.
15 Oct 83: Wolfe (am), McCaffrey (lunch), Silverberg (pm)
sign books at Andromeda, Brum. Aldiss does ditto to Helliconia
Summer at F.Planet.
4-6 Nov 83: NOVACON 13. Royal Angus Hotel, Brum GoH Lisa
Tuttle. #7 att to 46 Colwyn Road, Beeston.. Leeds, LS11 6PY.
Hideous Novacon scandal appears to have died down after a
final altercation between R.Peyton and S.Green when the former
allegedly said `Look, last year's Novacon was deliberately a
crap convention to keep the attendance down....' The tiny Lisa
Tuttle collection from Drunken Dragon Press to be released at
this con is called THE OTHER BOOK.
26-27 Nov 83: CYMRUCON 111, Central Hotel Cardiff GoH
John Brunner. #8 att to The Bower, High Str Llantwit Major, S
Glam, CF6 9SS. IMPORTANT NOTICE: the Cymrucon committee is
extremely annoyed to hear that an evil fan -- reported to be
Hugh Mascetti -- has been spreading untrue rumours of
Cymrucon's cancellation. Should he tell you this, hit him in
the mouth in as tactful a fashion as you can contrive.
20-23 Apr 84: SEACON 84, Brighton Metropole Hotel. (GoH
Roger Zelazny (Phil Farmer withdrew as soon as the Asimov
posters had been burnt and the Farmer ones printed). Chris
Priest, Pierre Barbet, Josef Nesvadba, Waldemar Kumming (fan).
#7 att.to 30 Nov #8 to 31 Jan, #10 to 19 4r. #12 at door: 321
Sarehole Rd, Hall Green, Birmingham, B28 OAL. Seacon rallied
nicely from Asimov's defection, with a flyer about being `the
only con in 1984 which has a written assurance from Isaac
Asimov that he won't be attending', but moans of despair were
heard when they lost Farmer too, and then Maxim Jakubowski
weighed in with a widely disseminated `formal and public
protest about the choice of Pierre Barbet as one of the
European guests ... a slap in the face of French SF and
denotes a complete lack of understanding of the virtues of
excellence in writing which so many other French authors have
been promulgating for years ... [as] if the first ever
British SF author to be invited to a French con were Lionel
Fanthorpe ... that's what Barbet's choice means to the French
and European SF community. Also the fact that he is on the
Eurocon committee smacks of decidedly mixed ethics in my
book... doubt strongly that this decision will influence
Eurofans (beyond the small circle who've already been to a
British con) to at end. I for one wouldn't go to Paris or
Bruges to see John Russell Fearn, even if he were still
alive...' (MJ) On the bright side, Seacon has managed to get
publicity in a CAMRA magazine thanks to the promised Cheap
Real Beer.
25-28 May 84: Tynecon II. the Mexicon. Flyer Enclosed for
most of you; otherwise see A#34..
20-23 Jul 84: Albacon 84, Central Hotel, Glasgow, GoH
Harlan Ellison, info from 62 Campsie Rd. Wishaw, ML2 9QG. AND:
Faircon 84, Ingram Hotel, Glasgow, GoH Sydney-Jordan, #8 att
rising to #9 hotel rooms-#16.50 single #14.50/person twin. 18
Greenwood Rd Clarkston, Glasgow, G76 7AQ. I'm glad I don't
live in Glasgow. On one hand we have Albacon 84, the alleged
good guys. who apart from the coup in securing Harlan Ellison
have given no indication that they're doing anything. On the
other hand, Faircon and the Fake Bob Shaw's forces of evil,
constantly deluging me with flyers, progress reports and
assorted bits of paper, but keeping significantly quiet about
membership figures (the usual lists don't appear in the PRs).
Faircon's letters to Albacon -- suggesting that as a
reasonable compromise Albacon be moved to Feb 85 and existing
memberships be transferred to Faircon -- can be taken as a
plea to avoid aggro or a gesture of membership-starved
desperation depending whom you favour. Also to hand: a record
of balloting of the Glasgow SF group FOKT, as to whether dear
Bob should be allowed to present FOKT Awards at Faircon (as
stated in his PR0). (1) Where should FOKT awards be given?
Albacon 84. 21 votes; FOKT meeting 4; Faircon 84, 0. (2) Do
members want `Mr Robert Shaw' to organise events in the name
of FOKT? No, 21; No comment, 4; Yes. 0. (Faircon 84 committee
folk declined to vote -- `may have distorted voting pattern,
did not affect result.') I'm glad I don't live In Glasgow.
SPACE-EX 84. A secret convention.
SILICON 8. Grosvenor Hotel. Newcastle, 2 Seaton Avenue,
Newsham Blyth, Northumberland, probably about #4.50 att, but
ask first.
25-27 Aug 84: OXCON 84, St Catherine's College, GoH
Brian Aldiss -- #8 att to 28 Asquith Rd, Rose Hill. Oxford.
Incorporates Unicon, I believe.
30 Aug - 3 Sept: LA CON II, Anaheim Con Centre, CA,
Worldcon. GoH Gordon Dickson, FGoH Dick Eney. $40 att to PO
Box 8442. Van Nuys. CA 91409, USA.
2-4 Nov 84: Rumoured Novacon 14 in Brum. Rumoured GoH Rob
Holdstock.
14-16 Dec 84: Santacon. Dragonara, Leeds. No data.
Medioid affair. 10 Langford Rd, Heaton Chapel, Stockport,
Cheshire, SK4 SBR.
'5-8 Apr 85: Eastercon. Current bid, Yorcon III, Leeds
Dragonara. #1 presupp to 45 Harold Mount, Leeds, LS6 1PW.
Committee: numerous Leeds fans.
22-26 Aug 85: AUSSIECON II, Southern Cross Hotel,
Melbourne, Australia. GoH Gene Wolfe, FGoH Ted White. $40
US/$45A to GPO Box 2253U, Melbourne. Vic 3001, Australia.
Anyone who voted in the 1983 site selection ballot (like me,
ha ha) is already a supporting member. Supp: $25US/$28A.
Conversion: $15US/$17A. You must be a member of Aussiecon II
to vote for Britain in 1987. Rates rise in 1984. (By the way,
a three-years-in-advance bidding system for Worldcons was
proposed at ConStellation and will come into effect in 1986 if
ratified -- I assume -- at LA Con II.)
29 Aug - 2 Sept 85, NASFiC, Austin, Texas- the big US con
always staged (sometimes with a mild whiff of sour grapes)
when the Worldcon goes out of America. GoH Jack Vance, ho ho,
and Richard Powers. FGoH Joanne Burger. Details. FACT, PO BOX
9612, Austin, TX 78766, USA.
28-30 Mar 86: Eastercon. Current bid, Contravention, to
be `somewhere in the Midlands.' possibly the NEC Metropole.
Doreys, Oldroyd, Donaldson, Wilkes, Pearson, Huxley, Hughes --
in no particular order, Probably #l presupp to any of these?
WORLDCONS: New York, Philadelphia and Atlanta are bidding
for 1986, the latter most favoured in the F770 straw poll. In
1987, San Diego, Phoenix and B*R*I*T*A*I*N. In 1988,
Yugoslavia -- one might feel guilty about a 1987 UK bid being
detrimental to this, were it not for prevalent US opinion that
Yugoslavia is a total non-starter. In 1989. Boston again.
After which, who knows?
### MEDIATIONS ### R.I.Barycz
`Space Patrol' of antient US-TV fame is to be resurrected as a
feature length movie cum TV series pilot partly in 3D...
wonder if the new will recapture the heady naivete of the old
-- that in prevideotape days went out live and there are still
people around who remember The-Episode-In-Which-The-Monsters-
Of-The-Planet-Tharg-Got-Bored-And-Began-To-Eat-The-Cardboard-
Scenery-And-Revealed-Themselves-As-Small-Lizards-With-Stuck-
On-Fangs-Made-Large-By-Crafty-Camera-Angles. Or the time the
stars forgot a line and ad-libbed a whole episode....Oh, the
Golden Age.
ROTJ was the end of a six year love affair. I can do no
review -- mostly out of annoyance. I coughed up #50 for 2nd,
3rd and 4th draft scripts of Star Wars at a movie jumble in
March and IT'S ALL THERE AND I READ IT. A dreadful sense of
deja-vu, or djedi-vu. In the last draft I gather Lucas got to
do his favourite scene viz. where the hero is adopted into a
tribe of Wookies and teaches them to fly X-wings and off they
zoom to knock the guano out of the Death Star. For wookiees,
substitute Ewoks and there it is. Lucas Plays Safe. Boo, Hiss.
Cannon will start filming Colin Wilson's The Space
Vampires in England in Jan 84: scriptwriter to be Dan (the
good bits from Van Vogt) O'Bannon..
### MORE CONS
UNICON was `bloody awful'. apparently due to low numbers and
Manconish university venue; X-CON (Holland) was also
underpopulated but reportedly OK despite the awful ravages of
a drink called Mort Subite whose cherry-flavoured version
(it's a sort of stale barley wine laced with methanol) was
inadvisedly tried by Bob Shaw. UFP-CON (4-7 May Midland Hotel
Manchester) is the 84 Trekthing, #15 to 135 Greensted Rd,
Leighton, Essex, IG10 3DJ; MYTHCON 84 (7-9 Sept, Hull) #10 to
53 Glencoe St, Hull, HU3 6HR; CONQUEST (12-14 Oct 84 Ingram
Hotel Glasgow) is devoted to -- oh God -- Elfquest, GoH Pinis,
#10 to 63 Waybridge Mead, Yately, Camberley, Surrey, GU17
7UX. BIRMINGHAM IN 86. another Eastercon bid (see p.6)
reputedly from M.Tudor & S.Green. Amusing if this and
Contravention were offering the same rumoured venue....
### MILFORD
Henrietta the Rat reports: `The 1983 Milford SF Writers'
Conference (UK) attracted a baker's dozen to the usual venue,
the Compton Hotel, from 25 Sept to 2 Oct. Present: Scott
Baker, Richard Cowper, Malcolm Edwards, David Garnett, Mary
Gentle, Rob Holdstock, Garry Kilworth, Rachel Pollack, David
Redd, Diana Reed, Kevin Smith, Andrew Stephenson, Lisa Tuttle.
Daytimes were as usual devoted to serious activities such as
reading, discussing manuscripts, and drinking. Evenings were
as usual divided between serious activities such as open
discussions and drinking, and frivolous activities such as
games and drinking. The period between 3am and 7am was
reserved for sleeping. Important Facts: K.Smith was undefeated
in the pool league, while G.Kilworth racked up the high score
on the now-venerable Meteoroids machine. Call My Bluff
sessions came up with the usual absurd definitions: CRANTARA a
piece of bloody wood carried from clan to clan in medieval
Scotland; DOWCET a deer's testicle; PAPAPHOBIA intense fear of
the pope. All these definitions proved to be true. New chaos
emerged in a game introduced by R.Cowper: one person leaves
the room, the rest choose an adverb, and the victim tries to
guess the word by asking people to perform different actions
in the fashion it suggests. The only sight to rival G.
Kilworth encountering a rat in the street OFFENSIVELY was the
spectacle of all twelve other players dying MELODRAMATICALLY
in front of a baffled R.Pollack. Everyone present vowed never
to mention the Cowper interpretation of painting a picture
PERVERTEDLY.
`L.Tuttle was elected as the new Chair, replacing
clapped-out D.Garnett. The other committee members -- Langford
(Secretary) and Edwards (Treasurer) -- were re-elected. Next
year-same time, same place (yet again.)' (HtR)
(NB: Mary Gentle's rat Henrietta was present all week but
didn't bring a story. The report is actually not by Mary.)
### INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
MORE COAS: GWEN FUNNELL, 28 St Martin's Place, Brighton, E
Sussex, BN2 3LE :: ANDY LUSIS, 33 Majuba Rd. Edgbaston,
Birmingham B16 :: MICKEY POLAND, 2 Sqn, 21 Signal Rest, RAF
DET OSNABRUCK, BFPO 36 :: LORD FOUL'S BAEN -- OFFICIAL! `Jim
Baen is the new El Supremo at Pocket / Timescape / Starscope /
whatever,' reports M.Edwards, who got it from G.Benford, who
we'll hope didn't just read it in Ansible ... PATRICK NIELSEN
HAYDEN writes announcing his and Teresa's 1985 TAFF
ambitions: "We must descend to active solicitation, crassly
prostrating ourselves like some, some... _Jan Howard Finder_
... (gnashing of teeth, gurgling of internal juices) ...
Nearly recovered from the brutal phantasmagoria that was
ConStellation, little Teresa is almost completely reassured
that really nothing so horrible as `Isaac Asimov' exists, much
less wins Hugos for first drafts, and the twitch in Patrick's
shoulder -- the tragic result of one too many obsequious pleas
for an award by the gruesome `Jack Chalker' audioanimatron-may
be, they tell us, treatable through incisions of only _one
lobe_." (PNH) HEADLINES: WESTON CRUSHED. THE BRUMMIES JUST
LOVE WESTON! WESTON IS NOW `TWINNED' -- AND THAT'S OFFICIAL!
All passed on by Dave Wood. who (not to keep you in suspense)
lives and buys his newspapers in Avon. Also Joyce Scrivner
sands a Minneapolis Tribune ad offering, with your purchase of
a 1982 Snapper, a FREE THATCHERIZER -- sobering thought. Wm
Gibson, famous Vancouver author not to be confused with
Continental person Wim Gijsen, was himself confused enough to
send a congratulatory note on the arrival of their baby to
Malcolm Edwards and Chris Evans.... R.I.BARYCZ reports DUNE
location footage to be in the can, George Lucas to have
celebrated ROTJ's success with divorce proceedings (`This is
very American'), ST-III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK to be shooting
under Nimoy's direction, the only 70mm print of 2001 in the UK
to have been recently junked, 2010 to be in preproduction
($20M budget) ... `At a recent Anderson con someone was mad
enough to buy a Thunderbirds ice-lolly, 10 yrs in a fridge.
And unwrapped it and sucked it to the stick there and then.'
R.Peyton reports recently auctioning a rude `Kirk-Spocking'
fanzine for #105, one of Kirk's old jackets for #135 ... SF IN
SOUTHEND -- AN APOLOGY: We are very sorry about `SF in
Southend'. (Old jokes aside, last issue's snippet generated
inflammatory letters from J.Beedell, A.Stewart, J.Murphy, all
somewhat confusing. All are no doubt paragons and merely
misunderstood -- JB's naivete being eagerly hoped to conceal
corruption, etc) ... NUCLEAR-FREE NEWS ITEM: US sympathy with
the antinuclear movement, or with Marjorie Brunner (take your
pick), was revealed when she organized an antinuke meeting at
ConStellation and nobody turned up. A Gollancz editor too
often mentioned this issue offers floorspace to fans attending
CNDcon (22 Oct), but ring first -- 01-340-9983. Worries about
what my quondam employers AWRE would say about this item are
eclipsed by worries of what they'll do to me on reading my
novel THE LEAKY ESTABLISHMENT in Spring, it being about
nuclear high-jinks at a totally fictional research
establishiment. BORING BORING: Joe Nicholas `would like to
point out to recipients of John Owen's fnz RASTUS that his
letter, partly paraphrased therein, was expressly DNQ (a fact
Owen actually acknowledges in passing) -- and that having
broached this standard fannish confidence. Owen completely
misrepresents the content of the letter. It's nice to hear
he's calling off his attacks on me, but would he have done so
if I hadn't pointed out that he was contradicting his own
advice about me in the WAHF column of CRYSTAL SHIT 6?' (JN)
GUFF ballots are now out but are in A4 format (no Ansible
distribution) -- ask Joe at the Tun, Novacon, or 22 Donbigh
St. Pimlico, London, SW1V 2ER (sae?) ... CHARLES PLATT,
overexcited at a Worldcon party, was heard to proclaim that if
someone brought him Judy Lynn del Rey he'd piss on her.
(Nobody did.) He reports: `John Sladek arrived here and has
been staying in an illegal sublet upstairs from me.
Unfortunately the building superintendent heard him typing and
deduced his presence. He is therefore moving again, to
Minneapolis, Minnesota state of his youth. He had contemplated
a 3-month walk down the Appalachian Trail: this being his
answer to NY's High Rent Problem, but a stroll up and down a
hill overlooking Tom Disch's country summer house changed his
mind.' (C.Platt) THE FAKE BOB SHAW, writes Neil Craig, has
expanded with another shop close to NC's `Futureshock' SF
bookshop. "He has made it clear that the purpose of this new
site is not to make money particularly but to get me for not
coming to heel etc and publically objecting to being ripped
off. To quote Shaw: `He he cackle."' The Craig/Shaw
partnership (dec'd) having been `Photon Books', this new
place shared with a photographer -- started as `Photo'n
Books', became `Futureshop' after legal muttering and after
more legal muttering is `Books'n Photo'. Price war in
progress. Also `Futureshock' has suffered a curious rash of
superglued locks, smashed windows ... 5 Oct.
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #26
Hindustani by Numbers
DHAUNCHA: number from the four and a half times table,
CHHANGA: man with 6 fingers
BATTISI: 32 of something
SANKH: 10 billion; 100 billion; a conch shell.
ANSIBLE 35: DAVE LANGFORD
94 LONDON ROAD, READING,
BERKS, RG1 5AU, ENGLAND.
=============================================================
A WORD FROM OUR "TYPIST", ALEX McLINTOCK
This File was scanned and then re-typed (because of the really
small lithograph print) by AlexMC in a useless attempt to get
publicity for Evolution The 1996 Eastercon.
It is also in part a thank-you for all the Ansibles that I
have collected from Dave over the last five years at the Ton,
wherever it may be.
You have obviously lost the layout, and emphasis of the
original (the 8 point characters, the italics, the three
pictures)
Tough luck.
=============================================================
[ANSIBLE 35 ends]
ANSIBLE 36, December 1983: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by JOHN BRAY ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
===========================================================
ANSIBLE 36 comes to you with merry Xmas greetings (since this
year the Langfords can't afford even cheap Xmas cards -- take
another bow, Pocket Books) from ever-misinformed DAVE
LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU. Shock
horror inflation strikes the sub rates again following a
further Agonizing Reappraisal: the usual #2 now brings a
paltry SIX issues, airmailed outside the UK. Notes to me,
cheques to ANSIBLE, Giro transfer to a/c 24 475 4403 and
pawns to Q4. Americans: $3.50 to Mary & Bill Burns, 23
Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550. Continental Europeans:
equivalent of #2 to Roelof Goudriaan, Postbus 1189, 8200 BD
Lelystad, Netherlands. Institutions who insist in messing
around with invoices rather than paying with order like
honest folk: #4 to me or $7 to the Burnses. Thanks this issue
to KEV CLARKE (cartoon), KEITH FREEMAN (libels/labels
editor), CHRIS SUSLOWICZ (cheapo white paper) and JOHN
HARVEY (electrostencil boss). For those unskilled in the
esoteric mailing-label cipher: the arcane runes LASTISH
(followed by a number) mean you're OK to the given issue
number; SUB DUE or ***** mean absolutely frightful things
such as the extreme unlikelihood of your receiving another
ANSIBLE unless you rush along money or hot news. (Your change
of address, essential though it is to the continuing supply
of ANSIBLEs on your doormat, does not actually count as Hot
News for this purpose.) Subscription/trade list at the type
of typing: 362 copies to me mailed out in one glorious day.
Death, where is thy sting? Almost forgot: thanks for
collation and assistance over the last few issues to Chris
Hughes, Jan Huxley and Hazel. Here is the small print, where
nobody will read it, this fanzine feels safe in supporting
ROB HANSEN FOR TAFF and BRITAIN FOR THE 1987 WORLDCON. Also:
Happy New Year.
===========================================================
NOVACON 13 (4-6 Nov Royal Angus Hotel, Birmingham): The usual
appalling debauchery and disconnected events seemed to be
cloaking a pretty good Novacon this time. GoH Lisa Tuttle
explained all about cons in her fannish speech (in the
fanroom, which was down that sort of mineshaft hidden in a
labyrinth at the back of the hotel restaurant), revealing
fannishness to be a virus and the con phenomenon to be
ascribable to the Selfish Gene; her pro speech was in the
main hall and thus allowed room for an audience, which
emitted appropriate oohs and ahs of horror at her uncensored
revelations of what it's like to collaborate with George RR
Martin. When this speech was over a committee member who
shall be nameless popped up to announce something or other,
and an ANSIBLE editor who shall be nameless still feels
deeply guilty for allowing the spirit to move him to flee the
hall shrieking `Oh God it's Steve Green!' -- this getting a
round of cheap applause, tut tut.
The Drunken Dragon Press publication THE OTHER BOOK, a
special 80pp Tuttle mini-anthology, was unfortunately
cancelled by putative publisher Rog Peyton when the estimated
cost reached #8.95 per copy; so this Novacon didn't feature
the usual Special GoH Publication. Light on this was
provided by another talk from Toby `Publishing Is The Last Of
The Cottage Industries' Roxburgh, who overwhelmed his
audience with book-production cost figures and excoriated
them for the Neanderthal insistence on dustjackets (`the most
expensive single bit of a hardback') by which the reader in
the street helps keep books overpriced. Less successfully, a
panel on `Why are American SF authors so reactionary, and
British ones so revolutionary?' (invisibly chaired by Phill
Probert) turned out to have been sabotaged beforehand by
behind-the-scenes organiser Jan Huxley's tendency to
accidentally swap the terms `American' and `British' in the
panel title when inveigling people onto it. Peter Weston
talked about Larry Niven's jacuzzi, Joe Nicholas uttered
hideous curses on the lickspittle fascists running dogs of
the repressive Thatcherite/Reaganite juntas, D.Langford
failed in agonizing efforts to Define Terms, and supercool
Stu Shiffman (hauled onstage as Token American despite firm
protests) confided that these British generalisations did
somewhat tend to piss him off. We draw a veil over Jack
Cohen, master of the semi-infinite question from the floor,
and also over the gruelling `Novacon Factor' event in which
P.Morgan, L.Kettle, J.Jarrold and Yr.Editor were tested for
forgotten abilities such as memory, SF knowledge and doing the
dreaded Astral League Pole Test. Few survived.
The next Novacon is to be in the Grand Hotel (the usual
Novacon overflow) with S.Green as chair and Rob Holdstock
revealed as Big enough to be GoH. One hopes the committee
will overcome the Grand's rumoured tendency to offer a choice
of two bars, a small closed poky one at the top and a big
one full of the general public at the bottom. Martin
Easterbrook records this immortal dialogue during the
announcement -- GREEN: `Next year's Novacon registration will
be cheaper because the hotel is letting us have the function
rooms free.' PROBERT: `But the Angus let us have the function
rooms free this year.' GREEN: `Yes, but the function rooms at
the Grand are bigger.'
Nova Awards were duly presented. Best British Fanzine: A COOL
HEAD from Dave Bridges (so THAT'S why he put out 3 issues
simultaneously). Fanwriter: D. Bridges. Fanartist: Margaret
Welbank. A kindly mole revealed the runners-up in each
category, respectively: STILL IT MOVES and DT, Linda
Pickersgill and D.West, Pete Lyon and D.West. The fabulous
COFF award again raised a fair bit for TAFF and GUFF at
10p/vote, this year's victor having an enormous majority said
to have been `arranged' by the Women's Periodical apa-mob for
his wicked printing of the tasteless MATRIX 48 cover -- in
which case one might enquire why Pete Lyon got no votes at
all for drawing said cover ...
Those thought most in need of a Concrete Overcoat (at least
by those who voted early and often): Simon Polley (84 votes),
Pauline Morgan (22), Bob fake Shaw (21), Pete Weston (20),
All Babies/John Brunner/Steve Green (all 15), Joy Hibbert
(12), `A Crook Named Bolt' (10), Graham James (7), Rog
Peyton (6), Tibs (5), Adam Baxter (3), Jack Cohen/Martin
Hoare/David Power/Matt Williams (2), Jon May/Ian Sorensen
(1), Kevin Clark (1/2). Polls now open for the 1984, say
official ballot stuffers Kev Clarke (h'm) and Chris Suslowicz
-- 111 Valley Road, Solihull, W Midlands, B92 9AX.
The Rob Holdstock Tact Award went to Martin Hoare, who
congratulated Peter Weston on his `new fancy-woman', only to
discover the lady in question to be Eileen Weston in a new
hairstyle. (`The Brum Group is going to collapse at the
beginning of 1984', she loyally confided: `Peter hasn't time
to be chairman again.') The Chris Carlsen Mindless Violence
Award had Greg Pickersgill hot favourite following reports of
how his fist had instinctively sought Martin Tudor's face,
but Greg's almost apologetic performance seemingly pales into
insignificance when compared with that orgy of destruction at
Mr Tudor's (non-Novacon) party, where a glass door suffered
personality dissociation and all I know is that Steve Green
rang me to ask that I refrain from printing the foul libels I
would receive from Chris Suslowicz (but didn't). Nor can
ANSIBLE, fanzine of good taste, reveal which 1984 Novacon
chairman was complained of by a bitter Chris Hughes, for
`completely demolishing more than half of an eight-member
committee meal whilst nobody was looking'. Surely not....?
BRITAIN IN 1987: Furtive meetings, fanroom discussions, and
official announcements happened at Novacon, emerging with a
provisional committee of Chris Atkinson, Malcolm Edwards
(chair), Colin Fine, Dave Langford, Hugh Whatsit, Martin
Tudor and Paul Vincent (later purged). Presupporting
memberships -- over 100 -- were taken at #1 apiece, since lots
of money is needed for publicity (especially in the US and
Australia): rush yours to 28 Duckett Road, London, N4 1BN,
for now the Official Address. Americans: $2 to Gary Farber,
2773 8th Ave NE, Seattle, WA 98105. Australians: $2 to Roger
Weddall, 79 Bell St, Fitzroy, 3065, Australia. Europeans:
Equivalent of #2 to UK address or Roelof Goudriaan, address
lurking in ANSIBLE masthead. More agents are needed all over
the place, and we hope sympathizers will help with donations,
fundraising Auctions, etc. Carey Handfield reports that the
Aussie 85 bid, spent about #1300 on bidding expenses (and
were still criticized as cheapskates by one or two US
fanzines). So: money, money, money!
What's going for this bid? American fans seem enthusiastic,
as reported last issue. Gene Wolfe Himself is presupporting
member #1, and also GoH at Aussiecon II in Melbourne, where
the voting will take place ... And, although boring old Pete
Weston has some quibble in this area, it's generally accepted
(ENCYCLOPAEDIA et) that the first-ever planned SF convention
was the British one in Leeds, 1937. Fifty years on... can
this be destiny?
THE 22 DENBIGH ST PEOPLE'S REVOLUTIONARY COLLECTIVE "has
surrendered to the forces of Bourgeois Middle Class
Respectability," write POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT PAM WELLS.
"Or, put another way, Judith Hanna and Joseph Nicholas were
married on Saturday 19 November. After the brief ceremony in
fascistically marble-halled Westminster Registry Office, Joe
& Judith lead their guests crocodile-fashion through the
Underground network to Collective HQ. Tucking into hummus dip
and piles of crisps, many of us evidently hadn't had time for
breakfast that morning; the mountains of chill con carne
which Judith magnificently produced satisfied the toiling
masses's hunger for the kulak's blood. Wine flowed freely and
its effects were freely visible; all we had to do was raise
our empty glasses for Joseph to fill them again. John Harvey
fell asleep in the loo, to be forcibly roused by Ian Maule
hammering on the door in defiance of Eve's pleas to `leave
him alone'. As a stumbling Harvey descended the stairs, the
paintwork of the second stair was slightly rearranged, the
almost visible chip alarmed the fastidious Joseph, who hardly
ever paused to mutter PROPERTY IS THEFT before setting about
repairs. John, undeterred, resumed his nap huddled in a heap
by the bed.
"The Opening of the Presents took a fair while, mostly
because the happy couple were laboriously trying to keep the
paper intact. The Collective seemed particularly taken with a
gift of bright red towels, obviously a worthy contribution to
the Revolutionary cause. There followed a speech from
`unaccustomed as I am' Joseph, and another from `unaccustomed
as I am' Judith: since neither of them is the least bit
unaccustomed to speaking in public, I think the Trades
Descriptions people should be told.
"Despite having the wedding certificate about his person,
Joseph said he didn't FEEL married; Eve assured him that he
probably wouldn't for a few weeks. Thus spake the voice of
experience... When you're drinking wine from noon to evening,
it seems much later than the lying clocks tell you. I
wobbled homeward at eight, convinced it was really midnight.
An excellent party: Congratulations to Ms Hanna and Mr
Nicholas." (PAM WELLS)
CHARLES PLATT: "At the beginning of November, Putnam/Berkley
collaborated with book publisher Byron Preiss in an
extravaganza at Danceteria (fashionable NY midtown disco) to
mark publication of a collection of old Arthur C. Clarke
stories [THE SENTINEL] being hyped as a `major publishing
event'. Banks of colour TVs showed 2001 while a competing
sound-system played `background music' and guests shouted in
each other's ears. Highlight of the evening: `a special
message from Clarke, a 1-minute taped phone call that sounded
like HURRO AR UH IN NUH ORRRRK THISSS ARRRTHR C. CLARKE VIA
BRRRRKKKK COMMUNICATIONS SATELLITE RRHHHGGTTSS AWRR SSS...
while at the same time the TVs blared `Open the pod bay door,
Hal!' etc... Scott Edelman, a Brooklyn wine dealer, is
pushing his new mag THE LAST WAVE as the `last hope of
speculative fiction', successor to `NEW WORLDS, ORBIT and
DANGEROUS VISIONS'. (Funny, he doesn't mention INTERZONE.)
Despite glossy paper and decent typesetting, the mag looks
slightly tattier than a socialist leaflet, whereas it costs
slightly more. Recognizable names in the first issue include
Disch and Sladek, represented by old stories apparently
unsaleable elsewhere. Upcoming, in issue 2: the libretto of
an `unpublished opera' by Disch, who must shoulder the blame
for having discovered Edelman at a Clarion writing workshop."
(CHARLES PLATT)
CYMRUCON 3 (26-7 Nov Central Hotel, Cardiff): "A wave of
nostalgia hit me as I approached the third Welsh National
Con," HICCUPS OUR BEER CORRESPONDENT MARTIN HOARE. "Not just
the alcohol (due to a derailment at Paddington the train was
so overcrowded that I was compelled, against my will, to
stand at the bar for the whole journey), nor the general
shabbiness of the hotel (bringing back memories of early
Novacons at the Imperial): it was arriving at a con that in
the previous two years avoided the pretension of many more
established counterparts.
"In the homely Central Hotel, my room seemed just as I'd left
it last year; gladly I retrieved my corkscrew where I
inadvertently threw it in a moment of awful drunkenness last
November. What the Central lacked in images it made up for in
enthusiasm. The bar really did stay open all night, and the
bar meals -- unlike the Royal Angus's -- were good value.
"Cymrucon is an enigma among British cons. It's been
described as seven cons sharing the same hotel: where else
can you watch Fireball XL5 (don't worry, Dave, it was the
same episode as last year) or films more severely edited than
ANSIBLE con reports (CARRIE cut to 30 mins!)? John Brunner
proved a good GoH, both by failing to walk out on any
programme items he was on and by mingling in the bar much
more than most guests. He even stayed in the hotel,
reluctantly, while fans dragged me out against my will
around the real ale pubs of Cardiff. This showed foresight:
returning, I found the Beccon group's fan room in full swing,
which along with Martin Tudor's party was the highspot of the
con.
"Alas, many notable fans were absent; even Lionel Fanthorpe
was hardly in evidence, due to his newly discovered religious
scruples rather than the apathy or poverty which overcame
most of British fandom. Cymrucon hasn't yet acquired the
middle-aged bloom of respectability of Novacon etc, and I'll
certainly be going to next year's." (MARTIN HOARE)
FOOTNOTE: The consensus seems to be that Cymrucon 3 was less
triffic that the first two. Famous iconoclast G.Pickersgill
went further, as usual, with such phrases as `fucking awful',
and `I went because I'd heard it turned the clock back to
when cons were really good, but you can turn the clock TOO
FAR back and when I saw all those cretins chasing each other
with water-pistols ...' As usual: one convention, several
hundred opinions.
MARTIN MORSE WOOSTER: "You should know about the interview
the del Reys had with the WASHINGTON POST. Not only does
Lester reveal `I'm a happy little moron who happily and
deliberately dropped out of college because I didn't think it
was worth a damn'; not only does Judy-Lynn disclose `I used
to be a Jewish princess -- now I'm a Jewish empress'; but the
del Reys' SECRET PASSION is revealed: `three identical
figures of bulls, each 3" high, each with a thatch of mink
fur between the horns... They are garlanded in miniature
kerchiefs and neck chains, and each has a teeny teddy bear
half its height "to sleep with".' The bulls are fed
regularly, and one has a business card: `Urban del Rey.
Represented by Scott Meredith Literary Agency'. Two more
quotes: Lester now says `I consider myself, by my own
choice, a has-been writer.' And David Hartwell says that
Judy-Lynn's success `is too narrow. The basis for her success
is the repeatable product. That response to the marketplace
is no different in kind, in many respects, from Silhouette
Romances [US MILLS & BOON].' Way to go, David. WHERE are you
working now?" (MMW)
WORLD FANTASY AWARDS have been awarded. Novel NIFFT THE LEAN,
Michael Shea (I quite liked the book, but it does happen to
be a collection of short stories); Novella `Beyond any
Measure', K.E.Wagner, tied with `Confess the Seasons',
C.L.Grant; Artist, Michael Whelan; Life Achievement, Roald
Dahl; etc... GAMES: IMAGINE magazine is expanded to an
alleged 30,000 printrun with national distribution via WHS
etc; not to be outdone, the Old Firm at WHITE DWARF plans to
boost printrun to 21,000+ and get distributed via WHS etc;
contributors to both anticipate hugely increased payments...
CONSTELLATION (WORLDCON 83) has lost $25-30,000 and is
begging for donations; plans include flogging the mailing
list and selling leftover goodies like the Brunner Songbook
(with great commercial acumen then contrived to sell only 177
out of 1500 copies at the con). The giant video-screen (A35)
alone cost $15,000 to hire, a sum apparently unauthorized by
the main Worldcon committee.
THE INTERMITTENT ANSIBLE LETTER COLUMN RETURNS!
GIAN PAOLO COSSATO:
"With the phrase Marjorie Brunner sends harrowing details of
the return from their Italian trip' (A34) you give the
impression that the incident happened in Italy. This is not
the case. In a letter dated 15/7/83 and addressed to me,
Marjorie says `... the con at LES ALLUES was fun but spoilt
at the end because someone ripped off the hood of the Stag
and stole many things, -- and we have always felt a little
fear about leaving the Stag in the car park in Venice!! Oh
well.' The aforementioned place is outside the Italian
border.
"Not many years ago the magazine DER SPIEGEL had a nice cover
with some spaghetti and a gun which was meant to describe the
Italian situation with red brigades and such. And the message
was do not got to Italy, you might get killed. It did not
take long for the Germans to experience their own brand of
the same... I am sure there was nothing intentional on your
part but I just wanted to make it clear." (GPC)
* To the entire Italian nation, ANSIBLE apologises!
Implication not intended, A35 also wrongly conflated (or
rather the information source did) two items at
ConStellation: a moderately well attended `antinuke meeting'
not organised by Marjorie Brunner (though featuring John),
and the SF radio drama where Marjorie's cassette of WHEN THE
WIND BLOWS failed -- like everything else there -- to attract
an audience. After a period of the usual death threats signed
in blood, diplomatic relations between Reading and South
Petherton have been resumed...
BOB fake SHAW:
"A couple of points about the latest issue that I find more
than slightly offensive. Firstly, the strange suggestion that
Faircon '84 isn't the side wearing the white hats, and the
mischievous implication that Faircon is solely the creation
of Bob Shaw. We've been straight with everyone else in
Glasgow and elsewhere. In turn, we've been fucked about as
much as possible by our fellow fans -- yourself included. We
made a serious, and responsible, set of suggestions to the
somewhat insubstantial Albacon 84 Committee which led to
less than nothing. ...Such approaches were very much at the
behest of the Committee in general. My own feelings about the
whole thought of attempting to talk to a bunch of folks who
range -- in my opinion -- from the merely defective right
through to the actively poisonous were in many ways at odds
with those in the rest of the committee... Vilification of
Faircon is wrong. You shouldn't do it. Why not simply let
actions speak? Our actions have been fair, open and honest.
Can the same be said of the lot you characterise as the Good
Guys? The membership Secretary of Faircon '84 informs me, by
the way, that we have 43 members (and counting)."
* From this letter it would be hard to deduce that the
`defective/poisonous' Albacon 84 mob consists of much the
same people who ran the quite successful Albacon II earlier
this year: that after the initial foolish situation of
`confrontation' (Albacon '84 and Faircon are on the same
weekend) had been set up, Bob's reasonable proposal consisted
not of combining the events or offsetting one by a week or
so, but of asking that Albacon hand over all memberships and
start from scratch with a new con at the chilly end of the
year; or that the hideous bias of ANSIBLE 35 was such that I
also got verbally ticked off by one or two Albacon '84
committee members, for giving some credit for superior
publications production (since equalised by Albacon) etc to
`evil' Bob. Of course the membership figure is pre-Novacon,
like the 50+ reported by Albacon '84.
* Bob goes on to complain about `the hopelessly deranged Neil
Criag' (sic), to explain that the whole business of Bob's
bookshop being temporarily called `Futureshop' -- to rival
Neil's `Futureshock' -- was but a merry harmless jape, and to
add that Glasgow vandals have also done over HIS shop: `Of
course I might have arranged [this] just as a smokescreen...'
ANSIBLE, bias-free as ever, must give equal time to the
possibility that Neil's was the evil hand, attacks on
`Futureshock' being mere persiflage...?
* Shaw News from other sources hints that one of his emporia
has been closed, leaving only the one in Woodlands Road with
Neil's, and that his spouse Morag is anticipating a Happy
Event.
MARTIN RANDALL, PRESIDENT: SFWA
"I am writing on behalf of Andre Norton and Jessica Amanda
Salmonson, who have asked me to respond to your recent note
in ANSIBLE (35) concerning these folk. Ms Norton has advised
me that she was never asked to review a Salmonson script, by
Don Wollheim or anyone else, and certainly would never have
threatened to boycott a publisher because that publisher
printed something Ms Norton did not like. Ms Salmonson
advises me that to the best of her knowledge, no manuscript
of hers has ever been submitted to DAW... It appears that the
story which appeared in Ansible is a fabrication from
beginning to end, in general and in particular, in whole and
in part.
"At least, it was ill advised to print such a story without
calling one of the principals to check the facts. Both Ms
Norton and Ms Salmonson are understandably quite upset, both
by the ostensible `feud' which was foisted on them behind
their backs. Perhaps a note of apology and a retraction in
the next ANSIBLE would be appropriate -- and a resolution
that, in the future, such stories will be verified before
they are printed." (MR)
* I can only accept this correction, retract the ANSIBLE 35
snippet in toto, and offer apologies to all concerned.
Varyingly temperate letters on this subject where received
from Jessica Amanda Salmonson, from the Larry Sternig
Literary Agency (Andre Norton's agents) and from Yergey and
Yergey (Andre Norton's attorneys). Although my retraction and
apology is made without qualification, I note for the benefit
of the latter that the untrue rumour wasn't of MY invention,
but was reported to be as circulating in certain `US
academic' quarters. Which is no excuse but does place the
"fons et origo mali" back in America.
BRIAN ALDISS:
"Re your ANSIBLE 35 knocking of INTERZONE. IZ is obviously
superior to NEW WORLDS, since NW would accept the occasional
story from me, whereas IZ turns them all down. So be more
respectful to IZ!" (BA)
* I asked Malcolm Edwards (erstwhile IZ maestro) what sort of
stories that mag was after. He launched into an outburst
about how he'd tried to persuade Ellen (Omni) Datlow to
reject a few of Wm Gibson's stories, since famous Mr Gibson
had promised after frightful threats to let IZ have a second
look. Quoth Ms Datlow: "I'm NEVER going to reject a Gibson
story!" The author in question had better not read this
ANSIBLE or he'll become overconfident (oops, he's a
subscriber)... Meanwhile Richard Bergeron, convinced that WG
is the leading literary light of the known universe, plans to
run extracts from the author's NEUROMANCER (recently bagged
by Malcolm for Gollancz, Were IZ given the chance to
serialize it? I think we should be told) in his fanzine WIZ.
What all this is leading up to, Brian, is that I'm sure I
could handily serialize HELLICONIA WINTER in ANSIBLE 42-123
if we can arrange terms...
THE BRITISH LIBRARY LENDING DIVISION
"To: British Science Fiction Association Ltd, 94 London Rd,
Reading, Berks... The British Library Lending Division is
building up a worldwide collection of serial literature. Our
attention has been drawn to your publication `Fantasy and
Science Fiction'. Before deciding to place a subscription to
this title, we would like to inspect a sample..."
* No comment... Next, the much-maligned former organiser of
`SF in Southend' exercises the Right to Reply in what one
hopes -- SFiS being reportedly defunct and fandom unified in
those parts -- will be the last word or something:
JOE BEEDELL
"Thank you very much for Ansible 35, the whole SFiS issue is
not yet over, as you see I have some loose ends to tie up,
like Alex Stewart for instance. I thought that you would be
pleased to know that I have joined the Alex Stewart fan club
for real prats (excuse the pun) but I have still got the
needle over the following things,
"1. He caused one of my very best friends, who I have known
for over 11 years to turn against me because of the malicious
lies he has been telling about me.
"2. Apart from that I warned certain people no end about the
high and mighty attitude that he delights in talking about
media fans in general, lets take UNICON as an example shall
we UNICON was supposed to be for media and general fans alike
but of course as Alex is two faced, AND BELIEVE ME HE IS as
some of his media friends have found out. One of the members
of the UNICON convention helped out after Susan Francis let
everybody down the angels name is Helen McCarthy, who is a
member of Fanderson came as a blessing in disguise to John
Murphy who was left with the SINKING SHIP. Now when the
convention has ended and John said to Alex why don't we have
a whip round for Helen as a kind of thankyou for all she had
done, Alex turned round, and said `We don't have to get her
anything do we'. John was very angry about this and had to
have a whip round himself. John said the program was
disgraceful and asked what he could do for the media fans
before the end of the convention, Alex's reply to this is
unprintable even in this letter.
"To clear up any rumours about me and somebody else starting
another science fiction club, they are totally unfounded, as
for me leaving S.F. Fandom, I am not leaving because if
fandom is to be cleaned up it's people like Alex Stewart that
needs to be calmed down to the media fandom. As it stands,
Alex used UNICON and me to publicise the fact that he wants
to be one of the bigots of fandom, by trying to drag my name
into disrepute that Alex seems to love that womens talk by
himself.
"I have the following things to say to Alex, and he had
better take notice of this. `Are Alex my old friend, have you
heard of the Klingon proverb that Telsors revenge is a dish
best served cold. It is very cold in media SF fandom.'
"Hope to be subscribing to Ansible soon and look forward to
his reply because I am telling Alex to FUCK off. Never to
come near me again." (JB)
* Maybe this -- printed as received since some of the
allusions escape me -- won't be the Last Word after all. From
Alex I merely have a report of the Unicon 4 business meeting:
four A4 pages of complaints about the U of Essex venue's
standards of accommodation, inadequate health & safety
precautions and surly staff -- who at one stage stole the
committee's membership receipt stubs for a Mancon-style
morals check on attendees from the same address who'd only
booked one room between them. Various drastic reprisals were
discussed -- legal action, reporting the centre as a
substandard venue to the Conference Bluebook, etc -- but I
gather there was a compromise whereby the committee paid lots
less than originally agreed and thus made a vast surplus for
Unicon 5/Oxcon's use. The report RECORDS no complaints about
the committee (who got three votes of thanks, all from Ken
Slater or programme (bar some references to `unsuccessful'
live music one evening), and arch-bigot A.Stewart appears to
have proposed a vote of thanks to Helen McCarthy `for
organising the Logan's Run'. Nobody seems to regard Unicon 4
as a particularly good con, but everyone blames this on the
almost unrelievedly rotten venue.
ALEX STEWART
"It's DEFINITELY the last time I get involved in a con
committee of less than half a dozen, though, and the last one
I want to chair for quite some time...
"About MAP's sci-fi magazine Space Voyager. Apparently the
entire editorial staff has just been sacked, by form letter,
to be replaced by friends of the publisher. Needless to say,
they know even less about SF than the old lot, which leaves
my future as an underpaid book reviewer in serious doubt.
Marion van der Voort has already come out in support of the
old regime by refusing to continue compiling the con
listings. [Later she decided it was "better to have one fan
still on the strength, no matter what" and is carrying on --
verbal update from AS] Me, I always knew it wouldn't last...
"I was very amused by the `Thunderbirds ice lolly' story in
A35: a classic example of myth creation in progress. The
confection in question, was, in fact a packet of KP Outer
Spacers, which fetched a goodly sum in the con auction due to
having been autographed on the spot by Gerry Anderson. I
know -- I was there (he said, blowing his cover as a closet
media fan). But do you want to bet that the far more romantic
ice lolly version, suitably embellished with circumstantial
detail, will remain forever in mediafannish mythology?" (AS)
R.I.BARYCZ
"So more ordinariness. The news about the Anderson lollypop
(ice) is devastating. It was a direct quote from the man
himself in an issue of SCREEN INTERNATIONAL. You mean it
was... just Hype?
JOHN F CARR
"It is time once again for your annual SFWA dues. I am
pleased to announce that dues will continue to stay at $40
per year..."
* Ironic that this, and SFWA's reproval of a small fanzine
(last page) should swiftly follow the news that SFWA feels
unable to help extract a four-figure sum owed me/Arrow by
Pocket Books.
COA [mostly omitted in this archive edition]
John Sladek ("I got fed up with New York very quickly... a
bedsitter in a cockroach infested building in the more
dangerous part of town costs $600/month"), moves to
Minneapolis ("Utterly unlike NY, I'm glad to say. A few
people here still say hello to strangers on the street! I'm,
getting a job -- technical writing -- & and a car." JS)
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
EVENTS: A completely updated con listing can wait for A37.
The ONE TUN XMAS MEETING is on 22 Dec. ALBACON 84 details at
last: #3 supp/#8 att to 62 Campside Rd, Wishaw, ML2 7QG.
CONQUEST (A35) is not just an Elfquest con, protests Linda
Miller -- address above -- but will have James White as token
SF person. BECCON 83 (at which I distinguished myself by
dropping on for one day, getting up so early that I fell
asleep in Brian Stableford's talk and distracted him into
reportedly abusing me for several minutes until the person
next to me in the front row gave a humane prod) will be
succeeded by Beccon 85. OXCON (A35) is filling up quickly,
say the committee: book now, etc... EUROCON 84 is the 6th
European Conference on Electrotechnics -- it says here. SEACON
84: PR2 is out with a booking form putting Easter back one
day in accordance with the little-known religious tenets of
PR boss Alan Dorey... BOSTON IN 89 worldcon bid launched,
details from Box 46, MIT Branch PO, Cambridge MA 02139,
USA... There is no Birmingham in 86 Eastercon bid any more
(A35)... FRANK'S APA is a new UK apa which burst fully-armed
from the brow of G.Pickersgill since Silicon: three mailings
have already happened and there is now a Waiting List, the
goal of 35 members having already been attained. Applications
to FRANK (Greg's official title), 7a Lawrence Rd, S Ealing,
W5. Reportedly famous Brum person Pete Weston is Deeply
Unamused by the fact that f.b.p Rog Peyton has joined FRANK
after numerous refusals to be enticed by Birmingham's (ie
Peter's) APA-B... MORE WOOSTER: "Network News is dead. It was
rather a spectacular bankruptcy, and your correspondent has
been temporarily transformed from Hero Editor to Self-
Employed Hack." So don't send him the articles he was
requesting a few issues back. "The composer of the DUNE
soundtrack is to be Stevie Wonder. Sting, fresh from starring
in DUNE, has purchased the rights to the Gormenghast trilogy
and has written a screenplay containing `a role for him as a
vicious but attractive upstart, his favourite part'"... NEWS
CLIPPINGS: Dave Wood also sent something about this Sting
person, who confessed that "Mervyn Peake is my favourite
sci-fi author though I've never met him." Also the
traditional local headlines: WEST FARMING WOMEN, WESTON HELD
AT BAY, LANGFORD WORKS (a palpable lie) and, attached some
reason to a copy of D's flyer this issue, ILL WINDS FROM THE
WEST. Also Brian Aldiss sends a second-hand bit from PRIVATE
EYE ("I bought this painting -- a tasteful abstract --
believing it was the work of a famous local artist called
Brian Burgess... shortly afterwards I discovered it was not
by Burgess but by an 8-week-old Muscovy duck called St James
who waddled across the canvas with paint on his webbed feet"
-- same difference), and Chris Morgan's SOLIHULL TIMES extract
demands quotation in full: "KEVIN'S DREAM MACHINE! The love
in the life of Balsall Common window cleaner Kevin Smith
weighs several tons, has shiny bells, a deafening klaxon and
is painted bright red." Neither recently married Kevin or the
love of his life Diana was available for comment... BRITISH
FANTASY AWARDS: given at Fantasycon VIII, 16 Oct. Best Novel,
SWORD OF THE LICTOR; Short `The Breathing Method' (King);
Small Press FANTASY TALES; Film BLADERUNNER; Artist D.Carso;
Special, K.E.Wagner for something or other ... TWILIGHT ZINE
6 "from the Solihull SF Group (who they?)" was found by
George Flynn "on freebie tables at Constellation. I reported
this to the MIT SF Soc, which has been pubbing "its" TWILIGHT
ZINE since 1961. Much indignation ensued... (War should be
averted as long as we don't tell Reagan.)"... IAN WATSON
COMPUTERISED! The new firm Mosaic Software (founded by Vicky
Carne, once of Dobson Books) is producing tie-in computer
games based on Ian's `The Width of the World', his old buddy
Harry Harrison's Stainless Steel Rat books (?) and something
by Colin Kapp. The reprinted book/story and programme
cassette (?) will be marketed together... WILLIAM GOLDING --
you must have heard this -- picked up a Nobel Prize for LORD
OF THE FLIES (1954) and there was a terrific bust-up just
like the Hugos, when one of the judges felt it ought to have
gone to a French novel so obscure it's never been read or
translated... SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH: what
could this be a sequel to? Who is going to write it if he can
think of some jokes? Which publishers have paid #100,000 and
$400000 for it? Did you really believe somebody when he said
LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING was to be the Last Of The
Series? Answers to Pan and Pocket Books... DRAGONCON 2: 22
Jan 84 at The Bull nr Mortlake Station. GoH Anne McCaffrey,
Mat Irvine. #5 to 131 Sheen Lane, London, SW1 8AE... RIP:
Franz Ettl, long-time German fan and inventor of the fabulous
drink Vurguzz; Mike Wood, US fan since the 60s; Maeve Peake,
writer and artist best known as the widow of Mervyn P...
PRIEST NEWS: Chris P. is nearing the end of a new book THE
GLAMOUR and looking forward to publishing a couple more
issues of his fanzine DEADLOSS. A TV play of his `The
Watched' goes out on ITV Schools (!) Broadcast in February
and "isn't set in the Dream Archipelago any more." The Priest
TAKE YOUR PIQ (Paranoia Induction Quotient) Test is in the
Xmas BOOKSELLER, enabling book people to assess their
(essential) ability) to make authors paranoid and
discouraged. And our hero shared a Best Author spot in the
Eurocon awards given in Yugoslavia: "I am Najboljsi
Pisatelj, scoff as you may, second only to Istvan Nemere.
That's going to shake them, down at Faber." Only other name
in Eurocon awards which UK folk will all know: SHARDS OF
BABEL as co-Best Fanzine... MIKE PARRY of Project Starcast
fame is rumoured to have acquired hordes of `Captain Scarlett
bendy toys' for a nominal sum (going rate apparently #5
each!), only to be pursued with legal threats from the now-
enlightened former owner... BORING BORING BORING: Evil John
D.Owen responds to Joe Nicholas's J'ACCUSE! (A35) with "a
toothy grin, a tip of the hat, and a cheerful cry of
`Sorreee!'" Oh, I say...
===========================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #27 Afrikaans
courtesy of Chris Morgan
DIT REENT OUMEIDE MET KNOPKIERIES: it's raining cats and dogs
(literally: grandmothers with knobkerries).
ANSIBLE 36: DAVE LANGFORD
94 LONDON ROAD, READING,
BERKS.
RG1 5AU, ENGLAND.
ANSIBLE 37, February 1984: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by JOHN V.KEOGH ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 37 salutes 1984, famous scientifictional year of G.K.
Chesterton's famous skiffy work THE NAPOLEON OF NOTTING HILL.
Editor: DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1
5AU, ENGLAND. Subscriptions: #2 for six issues, airmailed
outside UK, to ANSIBLE; Giro transfer to a/c 24 475 4403;
Americans can send $3.50 to Burns, 23 Kensington Ct,
Hempstead, NY11550; and in the unlikely event of its being
more convenient, continental Eurofans can rush #2 equivalent
to Goudriaan, Postbus 1189, 8200 BD Lelystad, Netherlands.
Institutions: #4/$7. BRITAIN IS HEAVEN IN '87, and anyone
sending an ANSIBLE sub is urged to add an extra #1/$2 for pre-
supporting membership of this triffic Worldcon bid. Cartoon by
D.WEST (but vote for ROB HANSEN on your TAFF ballot), sticky
labels by KEITH FREEMAN, special Supreme Editorial Taste Award
to KARL EDWARD WAGNER. Thanks for collation last issue to Jan
Huxley, Chris Hughes and Rob Welbourn. Mailing label runes:
LASTISH NN = you are OK to ANSIBLE #NN; SUB DUE = send money
instanter; ***** NN = your sub expired with issue NN and you
should be ashamed of yourself; TRADE = for some reason
Langford wishes to curry favour with you, and you should be on
your guard. Essential reading for Spring 1984 includes
MICROMANIA by C.Platt and D.Langford (Gollancz, 1 March) and
THE LEAKY ESTABLISHMENT by DL alone (Muller, 27 April but
there should be some at Seacon). This fanzine has received
financial assistance from the Public Lending Right scheme and
is saving up for an ISSN... Feb 1984
=============================================================
SUNNY OPTIMISM was noted in certain quarters as 1984 got
under way. At the SF Supper Club, Roz Kaveney confided that
she's escaped the _Interzone_ chain-gang to become `Queen of
Sci Fi' at Chatto & Windus, editing a `small upmarket SF
line'. Toby Roxburgh spread a little gloom and despondency by
announcing that SF was dead and nobody wrote sense-of-wonder
books any more -- but soon cheered us all up with the stout
avowal that even if we all did write super wondrous new books,
his small, upmarket SF line at Futura would unhesitatingly
reject them in favour of imported American Hugo-Winners.
Malcolm Edwards gloated over the leaked news that Mary
Gentle's _Golden Whichbreed_ (famous dog-pedigree guide) had
acquired more votes than anything in the current BSFA Award
nominations, while Brian Stableford skulked in Reading,
bitterly complaining that his temerity in giving _GW_ a bad
review had earnt him an Official Reprimand plus blacklisting
as regards Gollancz review copies... Everyone was reeling at
the news that the Public Lending Right scheme was _actually
going to bring them money_ : "How much are _you_ getting?" was
the question at the tip of every tongue, and naturally evil
Malcolm assembled the answers, subsequently calling the roll
of authors present in strict order of PLR precedence, from
those who hadn't registered at all (eg. himself) and were
wailing and gnashing their teeth, up to the heights of Chris
Priest (who later bought himself a new photocopier, and is
writing articles for US papers trying to whip up enthusiasm
for PLR over there, in hopes of similar bounty from reciprocal
agreements) and Brian Aldiss, who, when pressed for details of
his PLR, smiled modestly as he ordered a further magnum of
Moet & Chandon to wash down his tureen of caviar.
BRIAN ALDISS: "I noticed in your columns that the ex-writer
Ian Watson has done something or other about turning his books
into games. I hope Sheila Bush gets a percentage. It reminded
me to tell you that -- without me lifting a finger -- my
Weidenfield _SF Quiz Book_ has gone onto cassette, and is so
published by Acornsoft, as a Grandmaster Quiz entitled,
briefly, _Brian Aldiss Science Fiction Quiz for the BBC
Microcomputer and Acorn Electron_. Two cassettes, leaflet,
lavish packaging. Next Christmas, Penguin will bring out this
quiz and the other five along similar lines in one omnibus
volume. Just think -- this miserable bit of hackwork is
currently earning me more than _Helliconia_... "A report on
1983 Christmas parties which might be of interest to your
readers. _New Scientist_: booze and food good, crowded, many
pretty girls. Pass. _TLS_: Well worth gatecrashing. Booze and
food good and ample. Amiable chaps -- no publishers. One
pretty girl and Hermione Lee. Drink never dried up. Credit.
_Fiction Magazine_: Boozy ambience over pub. Booze
inexhaustible, food okay. Salmon Rushdie present (as at other
parties) otherwise very jolly, chaps and girls friendly. Frank
Delaney. Credit. _Jonathan Cape_: Begins late (9pm), goes on
till 4am. Unstoppable flow of booze and food on all four
floors. Many celebrities, including Diana Quick who wants to
act in dramatized version of _Helliconia_. Hours of fun, girls
up to scratch, chaps friendly, no SF writers, except for
Desmond Morris. Credit plus. "As for this kind offer to
serialize _Helliconia Winter_, you're on. All the SF magazines
have rejected it. `Too literate'--_Omni_. `Too downbeat'--
_Analog_. `Too intelligent'--Asimov's. `Too long'--
_Interzone_. `Too amusing'--_Punch_. `Two fingers'--_Private
Eye_. Enclosed is an instalment you might like to begin with,
still in a rough state. Typically, it has no excitement in it,
no spies, no dialogue, no sex; but it has cooking -- something
lacking in previous sf Empire-builders." [BA]
SCOOP! _HELLICONIA WINTER_ EXTRACT (p.25a of draft):
"twisted up through the building. / She paused at one of the
tiny kitchens, where an old grandmother worked with a young
maidservant. The old woman gave her a greeting, then turned
back to the business of making pastry savrilas. The lamplight
gleamed on pale and honey-coloured forms, the simple shapes of
bowls and jugs, plates, spoons and rollers, and on dumpy bags
of flour. The pastry was being rolled wafer-thin, mottled old
hands moving above its irregular shape. The maidservant
leaned against a wall, looking on vacantly, upper teeth
chewing pouting lower lip. Water in a skillet bubbled over a
charcoal fire. / It could not be true that everyday life in
Koriantura was threatened, as Odim said -- not while the
grandmother's capable hands continued to turn out those
perfect half-moon shapes, each with a dimpled straight edge
and a twist of the pastry at one end. Those little pillows of
pleasure spoke of a domestic contentment which could not be
shattered. Odim worried too much. He always worried. Nothing
would happen. / Besides, tonight Besi had someone other than
Odim on her mind. There was a mysterious soldier in the house,
and she had glimpsed him. // All the lower and less favoured
rooms" _(c) Brian Aldiss 1984. Wait for next sense-shattering
instalment, in which a glacier bursts through the kitchen wall
and Odim says "I told you so..."_
FURTHER FICTION from ROB HOLDSTOCK: "RH's 110,000 word novel,
extended from the story `Mythago Wood', has been won by
Gollancz after a mighty battle with Rob's old publisher,
Faber, lasting just two phone calls. Faber's first offer
included a 3-figure sum, no detectable enthusiasm, and heavy
hints about massive cutting. Gollancz offered lots more and
threw in a big, friendly grin from Malcolm Edwards. In the
States, Susan Allison of Berkeley Books is reported to be
delighted with the manuscript, which she had commissioned a
year earlier. The Gollancz edition is due in July, with a 4-
colour cover, all of which will be subtle shades of yellow. A
follow-up novel (not a sequel) _Lavondyss_ is in production.
Other great recent works from the mighty-thewed pen include
_Night Hunter 4: The Shrine_. The terrifying saga of Dan
Brady's endless bloody quest to find his lost family in the
foetid and haunted labyrinths of occult England, continues.
Again, he totally fails to find them. it is very possible
that Dan Brady is extremely inept. Book due in August...
_Realms of Fantasy_, new Edwards/Holdstock epic, is out from
Dragonsworld: lavish illustrations of 10 fantasy worlds
including Earthsea and Urth. The first publicity was an
interview for Manchester radio. Rob was totally flummoxed by
almost every question the crazy DJ interviewer asked, but
particularly by one about Mars: `There's a chapter on Mars in
the book, and the pictures are very red. And, like, Mars
itself is very red, isn't it. Do you have any opinions on
that, Robert?' Listen carefully for the thud of someone's jaw
impacting the table." [RH]
L. RON HUBBARD FUNNIES: Although NEL backed out of the
contract, for reasons, their boss Trevor d'Cruze has snaffled
_Battlefield Earth_, to appear this year in both hardback and
paperback from his own new imprint Quadrant Publishing.
Meanwhile, famous Terry Carr has been nearly editing the 12-
volume _BE_ sequel _Mission Earth_ ("clean pulp prose, crude
in style but quite serviceable," he noted): he verbally
agreed an $80,000 fee with Author Services Inc, the Hubbard
marketing organization. Imagine Terry's surprise and delight
when the contract did not arrive "within the week" as
promised, nor at all: instead the grapevine reported that
similar offers were also made to Algis Budrys, Dave Hartwell,
and others; and finally a call came from ASI saying "I just
want to set your mind at ease. We've decided to do the
editing as an in-house project, so don't worry, we didn't hire
another editor instead of you." Suddenly one remembers the
original report that NEL dropped _Battlefield Earth_ because
ASI were impossible to work with...
RIP: "George Charters, Grand Old Man of Irish Fandom, died on
Wednesday 18 January from a long standing heart complaint. The
funeral, at Roselawn, Belfast, was attended by James and
Peggy White (Walt and Madeleine Willis had to turn back on
account of snow). George used to say that the proudest
achievement of his career was to have stencilled _The
Enchanted Duplicator_, but in fact he published many fine
issues of his own fanzine _The Scarr_ and wrote several
articles in other fanzines. All are suffused by the gentle
warmth and quiet humour which made him such a nice person to
know and so impossible to forget." [Walt Willis]
Also recently deceased: Mary Renault (78) noted for fine
historical novels edging into borderline fantasy (eg. _The
King Must Die_); Leonard Wibberley (68) of the SF romps _The
Mouse that Roared_, _The Mouse on the Moon_.
INTERZONE has received a no-strings-attached #100 cheque from
that patron of the arts Sir Clive Sinclair. "Now we'll be
accused of allowing ourselves to be corrupted by rich
capitalists," says ever-optimistic Dave Pringle, adding that
issue 8 features an unpublished Dick story `Strange Memories
of Death' and that _IZ_ stories by Scott Bradfield and Malcolm
Edwards are being grabbed by Karl Edward Wagner for the next
DAW _Best Horror Stories of the Year_ -- information which
would fill the _Ansible_ editor with rage and envy were it not
that his own short nasty from Ramsey Campbell's _The Gruesome
Book_ will be in that same volume, ho ho. And...
IAN WATSON: "Sold vol.2 of the trilogy (THE BLACK CURRENT
TRILOGY), namely _The Book of the Stars_, to dear old
Gollancz. Whoopee... `Slow Birds' bought by Gardner Dozois
for his new Best of the Year roundup from Bluejay Books...
Have just become the Sunday Times skiffy critic, gosh. Amazing
and horrifying how my prestige has shot up with the chaps in
the Red Lion, mothers, aunts, etc., compared with when I was
merely an _author_ of books last week... Nene College,
Northampton, phoned out of the blue and asked me to be Writer
in Residence one day a week for the rest of the term for
#1750; I said yes. Went out there yesterday: lovely campus,
rose beds, Zen gardens, bars, coffee bars, nice laid-back
attitude to life. Staff wearing velvet jackets: suddenly
realized I was dressed in rags and should improve The
Image... Back to Earth with a bump: Vicky Carne (Mosaic)
phoned to ask for a final discussion of the game options in
the program for `The Width of the World' before they go into
production. As I don't have a computer on hand, still using a
club and clay tablets for my work, I'll have to buzz down to
London. `Could you make it the week after next?' asked Vicky.
`Next week, Simon -- he's your programmer -- is doing his mock
A-levels.' A Humble Moment... You'll have heard, I Newshound,
that John Clute has been rendered hors de combat in St Barts
with smashed femur, dislocated shoulder etc. after being
swiped off his bike. Can it be coincidence that a hit-&-run
driver nobbled George Hay mere months earlier? [IW]
_Am glad to report that John Clute has escaped hospital,
though it may be a little while before he can put the boot
into SF with his customary vigour..._
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF FANTASY: Maxim Jakubowski is in the throes of
preparing a detailed outline of this massive project ("pace
Peter Nicholls", who had more or less abandoned his similar
plans), covering fantasy, horror, and the supernatural, and
running to some 600,000 words. Outline plus 20,000 words of
sample stuff to be delivered to Allen & Unwin, after which "we
shall then together pitch it to the Book Clubs and US
publishers with a costly but professional printed dummy."
Contributors include Greenland, Brosnan, Collins, Barron,
Winter, Kaveney, Jones'n'Fletcher, Miller, Shippey, Grant,
Langford and whatisname from Gollancz who's been mentioned too
often this issue. Watch this space. Data from Maxim himself,
who is also about to write the authorized biography of Philip
K. Dick (reminding me of the PKD Society: 4+ newsletters a
year, #3.50 surface/#7 airmail, cheques to V. Buckle, 47 Park
Ave, Barking, Essex, IG11 8QU. Unpublished Dickiana
promised).
DOUGLAS ADAMS: Neil Gaiman reveals all! "Re. last _Ansible_,
I noticed you had a bit on _So Long, and Thanks for All the
Royalties_ -- the new DA book. To set the record straight,
that isn't _necessarily_ the title. The `plot' concerns A.
Dent's quest to find God's Final Message To His Creation
(which apparently _will_ be featured on the last page, don't
hold your breath), and so DA's agent wants him to call it
_God's Final Message To His Creation_. DA prefers _So
Long..._ but is currently thumbing through Hitchhiker #1
looking for a quote to title it with. (I suggested
_Eighteenth Printing_, but...) He's not yet started writing
it, still working on `DA SCREENPLAY' as he is.
"Trivia: did you know that `the most gratuitous use of
the word fuck in a serious screenplay' has been bowdlerized to
`use of the word Belgium...' in the US edition? And the word
`wop!' -- a multipurpose sound effect -- has become `whop!' to
avoid offending any -- ahem! -- Italo-Americans that might
read it. Both these in the pocket version of _Liff, the
Royalties and Everything_. Oh yeah, and `You're an asshole,
Dent,' has become `You're a complete kneebiter, Dent,' for
what it's worth. I find the concept of kneebiting more
offensive than the concept of assholes, but maybe that's
because I'm not American. Remember where you heard it first--"
[NG]
NEBULA AWARDS PRELIMINARY BALLOT: This document contains
hordes of things from 1983, to be voted down to a shortlist of
5/6 per category by the SFWA membership. Top novels are
_Citadel of the Autarch_ and _Against Infinity_ with 17 and 10
nominations. Life is too short to list the lot, but here are
some items of UK interest: _Crucible of Time_ (Brunner, =12th
novel, 4 votes); _Helliconia Summer_ (Aldiss, =19th novel, 3
votes); `Slow Birds' (Watson, 3rd novelette, 12 votes); `The
Black Current' (Watson, =15th novelette, 3 votes) and
`Brothers' (Cowper, =12th short, 3 votes). Rankings mean
little as some stories have been picking up votes throughout
1983, while others appeared late that year. Final ballot
soon.
RIP AGAIN: "Eric Needham died suddenly on Dec 1. I received
word from his widow Kathleen. Eric was best known for offbeat
writings in Harry Turner's fanzine and in particular was the
originator of the `Widowers Wonderful' verses. He was active
in early Manchester fandom and had a truly original brand of
humour, much appreciated by his friends." [Ethel Lindsay]
"Slim Pickens who rode an H-bomb into the credits and Vera
Lynn song of _Dr Strangelove_ is dead." [R. I. Barycz]
The mention of Eric Needham reminds me that at Novacon,
Eric Bentcliffe asked for a further plug for WHEN YNGVI WAS A
LOUSE, the 1950s fanthology, containing Needham material and
verses. Send a couple of quid to EB at 17 Riverside Crescent,
Holmes Chapel, Cheshire, CW4 7NR... [Ed.]
BARYCZ MEDIA HORROR RISES FROM GRAVE: "Have you got big tits?
Can you swing a broadsword? Can you wear Calvin Klein
chainmail knickers? Redheaded? Then Dino de Laurentis wants
to hear from _you_, as he's going to produce that figment of
R. E. Howard's misogyny _Red Sonja: She Devil with a Sword_.
Call Navarro-Bertoni Casting in California, on 212-765-4250,
_now_. Any shortcomings in the above requirements can no
doubt be made good with the help of ILM and the finest plastic
surgeon Dino can find off Hollywood and Vine. Fascinating to
see what sort of compromise he makes between the need for
Sonja to have big ones and yet at the same time swing a sword
about without distraction... Kier Dullea is set to make a
return in _2010_, also Douglas Rain who did HAL's voice...
Piers Haggard who directed the TV version of _Pennies from
Heaven_ hopes to make _The Stainless Steel Rat_. Script by
Harry Harrison. Whatever happened to Limelight Productions
ol' Harry was so enthusiastic about a few years ago?... Glen
A. Larson does it again. To wit: ripped off _Tron_ and any
number of shows you care to think of with _Automan_,
holographic image created by a police computer expert to fight
crime in a blue halo, aided by his trusty sidekick
Robin^H^H^H^H^H a little sparkling light called Cursor...
_2010_ begins photography at MGM on 6 Feb: $25M budget and
nine months preproduction already done... 20th C Fox announce
their ritual SF project for this year, _Enemy Mine_ based on
ditto by Barry Bongyear..." [RIB]
MISC BITS
PAULINE MORGAN was bitterly disappointed, last issue, by her
low placing in the Concrete Overcoat Fan Fund results: "I am
surprised I received so few votes in the COFF award
competition. I had been told several months ago that it was
being arranged for me to win it. Perhaps the money ran out or
the unpopularity of the winner (Simon Polley) was grossly
underestimated? [PM]
LOVE'S YOUNG DREAM: Mr. Polley himself ascribes his
popularity in 1983 to... but let him tell it in his own
words. "ANSWER TO MY VILE RECORD LAST YEAR NOW REVEALED TO BE
PARTLY DUE TO SUNDRY AMOROUS INTENTIONS WHICH HAVE LED TO A
DEFINITE MARRIAGE DATE NEXT AUTUMN SHOCK HORROR STOP INTENDED
IS TYPIST AND BON VIVEUR DEBBI KERR STOP" There's been a lot
of this ever since Joseph and Judith demonstrated that fannish
marriage was still ideologically OK: Steve Green and Ann
Thomas succumbed on December 17 and Eunice Pearson and Phill
Probert on December 21. Only my inability to master
Telemessages prevented the luckless couples being bombarded
with tasteful extracts from Swinburne (_Time turns the old
days to derision/Our loves into corpses or wives/And marriage
and death and division/Make barren our lives_)...
WEST GETS CONTROVERSIAL: "Great is the name of Langford --
your plugs have been bringing in the orders (for FANZINES IN
THEORY & PRACTICE -- flyer last issue) to the extent that I'm
now just short of the satisfying round number of 50.
Considering that I've never heard of many of the people who
have sent money this is indeed good news. R. Bergeron has
coughed up; so has Ted White. By a remarkable coincidence in
the very same post as T. White's $10 bill came one from
Martian Moose Worster: "Anyone who Ted White thinks is an
asshole is O.K. with me" declared Martin Moose, and demanded
that his own copy be `suitably inscribed'. (I'm still thinking
about it. Maybe you could run it as a competition in
_Matrix_.) Only other US order has come from one Dave Rike,
who informs me that certain elements of California fandom are
eager to take that high US price out of my hide. I have duly
informed him that he should tell these querulous persons
either to buy their own copies or go fuck themselves. (Another
satisfied voter.)
"News around here is fairly negative. Due to one of
Graham James's periodic attacks of Dynamic Leadership the
Leeds group have moved back to the West Riding for meetings,
but since it doesn't seem too well heated (and the back room
we used to be in has closed) we'll quite likely be back at the
Adelphi before long. Simon Ounsley has done a disappearing
act, not having been seen or heard from in the last month.
Simon Polley has done an appearing act, having started coming
to the pub again. But still with no copies of _Matrix_, so
sod the BSFA. Ursula LeGuin will not be GoH at Leeds in 85 --
next prospect in line is Greg Benford. (I did put in a word
for Brian Stableford -- `cheap'.)
"Just written Greg a letter announcing my withdrawal from
FRANK'S APA. I was about halfway through doing this thing
called _Fuck-All Point_ (since people are always saying that
what fandom needs is a Fuck-All Point fanzine) when the
contradictions just got too much for me. Everything I said
about FEAPA still applies, and there's no real Special Case
plea either. Apas are not Ideologically Sound.
"A thing to ponder here: I strongly suspect that it was
apa block voting that gave Margaret Welbank the Best Artist
Nova Award, and I also suspect that this is likely to happen
again and/or cause trouble. Welbank may have deserved to win
on talent, but as far as I know she's done practically nothing
that's been seen outside the Women's apa. And for a
supposedly open award to be given for work which many voters
are specifically excluded from seeing makes the whole thing
ridiculous. So what's going to happen with the _Ansible_
Poll? Unless you exclude apa contributions there's going to be
a real outbreak of paranoia -- accusations of fixing by
cliques and elites and so on. Only this time there'll be some
justification." [D. West. _Back to this next issue, no doubt.
Mind how you go, everyone..._ 1 Feb 1983]
COA [change-of-address section omitted]
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
OMNI UK is no more, not even the token editorial office
consisting of a broom cupboard in Bramber Road containing
Andie Burland/Oppenheimer. The erstwhile Penthouse/Omni
building has been flogged... SF IN SOUTHEND: the usual
searing controversy resulted from the Joe Beedell (?) letter
last issue. Alex Stewart announces that all persons maligned
in said letter are in fact nice, especially heroic Susan
Francis; also that he's baffled by being advised "to don
thermal underwear before attending any Star Trek conventions."
Joe himself sends a more than usually cryptic note implying
that last issue's letter was not (despite its fairly accurate
rendition of his literary style) written by him: "i hope that
what happened to me will never happen again as THEY made a Big
mistake to be JUDGE JURY & EXECUTIONER don't let this happen
again to any body else or there will be a traggedy tell people
to get thier Fact's straight next time." [JB or is it?] SIMON
GOSDEN offers a local news clipping about the `Orion Club' now
reportedly meeting chez Beedell to watch films (videos?)...
THE SUN, favourite newspaper of informant Leroy Kettle,
urgently asks IS YOUR NEIGHBOUR FROM OUTER SPACE? and gives
hints (from such notorious loonies as Brad Steiger) on how to
spot extraterrestrial infiltrators. "They sleep and work
unusual hours... develop strange physical reactions near
certain high-tech machines... show anxiety when using Earth
transportation... constantly gather information... misuse
common everyday objects... have homes will ill-matching
decor... have an unusual object in the home which is highly
regarded and protected..." I swear I'm not making this up.
Finally the Sun invites readers to report "space aliens"
spotted in their locality, to ALIEN, The Sun, 30 Bouverie St,
London, EC4Y 8DE. Leroy reckons a few write-ins for D. West
would seem to be in order... SFWA SMITES POCKET BOOKS WITH
THUNDERBOLT! Well, not quite: but despite exchanges in A36,
SFWA President Marta Randall and I are pals really, and she
did investigate the curious business of Pocket Books' failure
to pay me my trifling advance despite having had _Space Eater_
in print for most of 1983, and coincidentally (or was it?)
Arrow announced that the cheque had got as far as their New
York agents as was en route to London. This has been a public
service announcement requested by local SFWA rep Ian
Watson... TAKE THAT, LANGFORD! Seems nobody is suing me after
all (see _A36_), not even SFWA as wrongly rumoured in the USA.
Andy Porter appears to regret this, and in the latest _SF
Chronicle_ berates me no end for failing to check everything
before publication. Gee, Andy, and I was so tactfully silent
about your (doubtless carefully checked) SFC contribution
which reported the dismally inept and universally criticized
BMC SF promotion as (and I quote) "an unqualified success"...
CENSORSHIP HORROR: do you subscribe to Roger Weddall's Aussie
newszine _Thyme_, and have you been wondering about the long
gap between issues? We hear the UK agent, a notorious bon-
vivant, GUFF administrator and _Paperback Inferno_ editor, has
suppressed the British mailing of the latest issue owing to
Roger's alleged failure to accept the GUFF results with
adequate good grace therein... FERMAT'S LAST THEOREM has been
solved, according to the _Grauniad_, by eccentric
cyberneticist and George Hay protege Arnold Arnold (sic). The
self-confessed mathematical intelligentsia of fandom (Phil
Palmer) opine that either the _Guardina_ has left out
important bits of proof or -- as wickedly asserted by _New
Scientist_ -- this has to be a con. I myself have developed a
magnificent proof which this _Ansible_ is too small to
contain, marginally... JOHN SLADEK, who is supposed to be
many thousand miles away, was sighted over here escaping the
-25-degree Minneapolis Xmas. "London a haven of tropical
warmth, he states" [MJE]... CONSTELLATION, not content with
being fandom's all-time financial disaster, has found a lot
more bills under the bed etc. and cheerily announces that the
deficit has swelled to $44,000. "The people who lost it
aren't even apologetic," complains Joyce Scrivner. "I was told
they bought 19,000 plastic registration envelopes to get a
good price break." So among their assets are, presumably,
more than 12,500 plastic envelopes -- also a good few thousand
felt-tip pens accidentally acquired after an attempt to order
a few hundred [SFC]... ISAAC ASIMOV underwent triple heart-
bypass surgery in December and is convalescing: we leave you
to guess which Gollancz editor drew parallels with Heinlein's
"brain-bypass surgery" and suggested Arthur C. Clarke should
look out... SEACON 84 has signed up further famous persons:
Forrest J. Ackerman, Fred Pohl, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Joe
Haldeman. A publicity flyer from hyperefficient Chris Hughes
adds the name Gene Wolfe, which has somewhat nonplussed Gene
Wolfe... GAMES CENTRE KAPUT: the 9-shop empire went into
liquidation on 31 Dec, a variety of reasons being suggested.
GC plead economic recession and loss of trade thanks to London
bomb scares; everyone else mutters "total ineptitude".
Reportedly GC cocked-up their supply & demand thanks to a
misprogrammed stock-control computer (an accountant -- D. G.
Langford FCA -- comments that it's not unusual for a small
business to program stock-ordering giving priority to what's
on the shelves rather than what's popular and has therefore
been sold). All employees of Games Workshop are of course in
deep mourning for the passing of their rivals, however bravely
they try to hide their grief with hysterical giggles... D.
WEST, with unaccustomed public spirit, asks "how come the
Albacon committee [_who admittedly made a fairish profit_]
can't afford more than a lousy #10 donation to TAFF? Does
this have anything to do with the reported failure of TAFF
person Avedon Carol to lick the arse of certain committee
members with sufficient enthusiasm? I think we should be
told." Surely D. must be totally misinformed here... SWEDEN:
"An official Star Wars Fan Club has been formed and this club
dislikes the fan-operated nonprofit SW club `Tattooine'. One
can suppose the existence of an idealistic SW club makes it
harder for SWFC to sell stuff to the innocent young addicts
and earn itself a fortune. They threaten to sue if Tattooine
continues to use commercially protected words like `Star
Wars', `Tattooine', etc. Tattooine's answer is to change
name, to `The Rebel Alliance' (Rebelalliansen) and continue as
before... Kaj Harju and Jan-Olov Segerstrom claim to have
founded a _Christopher Priest Society_... SEFF has collected
about #200. This means the SEFF trip to Seacon 84 is secure.
Donations are still welcome and will go to the next SEFF trip,
probably aimed for the planned Swecon 85 in Stockholm."
[Ahrvid Engholm]... 1984 -- THE VIEW FROM TWO SHORES -- UK/US
conference(s), UK bit, 2-5 July, costs a mere #75+VAT; ask
Colin Mably, SF Foundation, 01-599-3100/01-590-7722x2110.
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #28: TIBETAN.
Yugs-sa-moi dor-rta des yza srun, rma-la pan Wdn: the middle
part of a widow's drawers prevents epilepsy and heals wounds.
(Tibetan-English Dictionary, H.A. Jaschke, 1881)
ANSIBLE 37: 94 London Road, Reading,
Berkshire, RG1 5AU, United Kingdom.
ANSIBLE 38, Easter 1984: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by TONY SMITH ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 38 ISSN 0265-9816
This special Late Issue of ANSIBLE, delayed by the shock of
its first Hugo nomination plus a disparaging mention in NEW
SCIENTIST, comes as usual from DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD,
READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU, UK. Subscriptions: a trifling #2
for six issues, airmailed outside the UK. Cheques/sterling
money orders to ANSIBLE; Giro transfer to a/c 24 475 4403;
Americans may rush $3.50 to Burns, 23 Kensington Ct,
Hempstead, NY 11550, while continental Eurofans who find it
convenient may thrust an equivalent #2 into the prehensile
hands of R. Goudriaan, Postbus 1189, 8200 BD Lelystad,
Netherlands. YOU WILL SUPPORT the Britain-in-1987 Worldcon
bid, and how better than by adding a quid's presupporting
membership to ANSIBLE subs sent direct to me? An enclosed
flyer should reveal all concerning outside-UK agents for this
bid; another should allow you one last desperate chance (if
you get this by 30 April) to save the world for truth,
justice, Welshfandom and baked beans by voting ROB HANSEN FOR
TAFF. Enigmatic cartoon this issue by ALEXIS GILLILAND,
mailing labels by KEITH FREEMAN and his AMAZING AMDAHL. For
those not versed in computers, the esoteric machine-code
instruction on your label translates thus: LASTISH XX, send
money by issue XX; SUB DUE, send money now; *****, send money
sooner than now; TRADE, keep sending whatever appalling thing
you send. Mailing list: 381 copies. Collation last issue:
Chris Huge, Arnold `Woe, Gloom and Misery' Akien. This issue
officially dated Easter 1984 or so...
=============================================================-
APRIL FOOL! You read it in these pages, that 1984 is REALLY
the year of G.K. Chesterton's NAPOLEON OF NOTTING HILL... and
duly there's a version of NAPOLEON playing at the Old Vic
until Easter (repeat: September). Somehow I hadn't imagined
one of my favourite novels being played as a musical, by 12-18
year olds, with a sex-change for the chief male character. You
will hear more of this.
AWARDS: Having contrived to start with something --
anything -- other than the Hugo nominations, I now give
you... NOVEL _MILLENNIUM_ (John Varley), _MORON: DRAGONLADY OF
PERN_ (Anne McCaffrey), _THE ROBOTS OF DAWN_ (Isaac Asimov),
_STARTIDE RISING_ (David Brin), _TEA WITH THE BLACK DRAGON_
(R.A. MacAvoy). *** NOVELLA `Cascade Point' (Timothy Zahn),
`Hardfought' (Greg Bear), `Hurricane Claude' (Hilbert
Schenck), `In the Face of My Enemy' (Joseph Delaney),
`Seeking' (David Palmer). *** NOVELETTE `Black Air' (Kim
Stanley Robinson), `Blood Music' (Greg Bear), `The Monkey
Treatment' (George RR Martin), `The Sidon in the Mirror'
(Connie Willis), `Slow Birds' (Ian Watson). *** SHORT `The
Geometry of Narrative' (Hilbert Schenck), `The Peacemaker'
(Gardner Dozois), `Servant of the People' (Frederick Pohl),
`Speech Sounds' (Octavia Butler), `Wong's Lost & Found
Emporium' (William Wu). *** NONFICTION _DREAM MAKERS II_
(Charles Platt), _ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF SF AND FANTASY VOL III_
(Donald Tuck), _THE FANTASTIC ART OF ROWENA_ (Rowena Morrill),
_THE HIGH KINGS_ (Joy Chant), _STAYING ALIVE: A MAVEN'S GUIDE_
(Norman Spinrad). *** DRAMATIC Brainstorm, Return of the Jedi,
The Right Stuff, Something Wicked This Way Comes, WarGames.
*** PRO EDITOR Terry Carr, Edward L. Ferman, David G Hartwell,
Shawna McCarthy, Stanley Schmidt. *** PRO ARTIST Val Lakey
Lindahn, Don Maitz, Rowena Morrill, Barclay Shaw, Michael
Whelan. *** SEMIPROZINE _Fantasy Newsletter/Review_, _Locus_,
_SF Chronicle_, _SF Review_, _Whispers_. *** FANZINE
_Ansible_, _File 770_, _Holier Than Thou_, _Izzard_, _The Filk
Fee-Nom-Ee-Non_ (wot?). *** FANWRITER Richard E.Geis, Mike
Glyer, Arthur Hlavaty, Dave Langford, Teresa Nielsen Hayden.
*** BEST FANARTIST Brad Foster, Alexis Gilliland, Joan Hanke-
Woods, William Rotsler, Stu Shiffman.
Note that the `fanzine Hugo reform' has been implemented
and that trash like ANSIBLE only gets in because SFR & Co. are
booted upstairs to the new `Semiprozine' category. Note how
this leaves poor old Dick Geis in the very silly position of
being a shortlisted fanwriter whose writing all appears in a
semipro- rather than a fanzine. Hugo information came in
patches: two items by phone from LA-Con chair Craig Miller
(guess which ones), one from Ian Watson (guess which) and the
rest from FILE 770 as usual...
JOHN W CAMPBELL AWARD for best nearly new writer: Joseph
H.Delaney, Lisa Goldstein, R.A.MacAvoy, Warren Norwood, Joel
Rosenberg, Sheri Tepper.
PHILIP K.DICK AWARD for best original paperback went to
Tim Powers for _THE ANUBIS GATES_ (he got $1000), with
R.A.MacAvoy's _TEA WITH THE BLACK DRAGON_ as $500 runner-up
(info: Jerry Kaufman). Phil Palmer supplies helpful background
on UK bidding for _THE ANUBIS GATES_: "My entertainment these
days comes from lying somewhere between Roz Kaveney and
Malcolm Edwards (how awful!). At the Tun Roz told me that she
and Malcolm had been playing `handball'. She left early and
Big M arrived late. `Oh is that what she calls it,' he said a
little heatedly. `I call it snatching a book I recommended in
a personal capacity, for enjoyment...' Now Roz is furious. `It
is a matter of record that I was a Tim Powers fan before...'
well, of such primaeval antehistory as to make the minds of
men reel with the titanic vista of such ancientness. And this
is only the first book of Roz's list! What other sensitive
relationships are to be torn asunder? Roz is much consoled by
the answer this makes to the criticism that her list [Chatto &
Windus] would be of books that no one else would buy." [PP]
BSFA AWARDS: the usual shortlist, from the usual
administrator Joseph Nicholas, who at Seacon 84 will count
the ballots in the usual way. NOVEL _HELLICONIA SUMMER_ (Brian
Aldiss), _CAT KARINA_ (Michael Coney), _GOLDEN WITCHBREED_
(Mary Gentle), _TIK-TOK_ (John Sladek), _CITADEL OF THE
AUTARCH_ (Gene Wolfe). *** SHORT `The Flash! Kid' (Scott
Bradfield), `The Tithonian Factor' (Richard Cowper), `Novelty'
(John Crowley), `After-Images' (Malcolm Edwards), `Calling All
Gumdrops' (John Sladek). *** MEDIA Android, The Day After,
United States Parts I-IV (stage), Perfect Shadows (BBC-TV),
WarGames. *** COVER ARTIST Peter Jones, Ian Miller, Bruce
Pennington, Tim White. No other artist got more than one vote:
hence a shortlist of only four. John Sladek originally had
two nominated novels but withdrew one; we're not allowed to
tell you which, so here's a letter on A37 from Richard Cowper:
"Did you make up that extract of Helliconia (extract of malt)?
It sounds too like a parody to be true -- so I guess it IS
true. [Yes -- DRL] Still, I suppose it's appropriate that it
concerns itself with dough..." And following his Hugo gloat,
Ian Watson gracefully remarks "Of course I'm chagrined not to
be a nominee in the more cut-throat annual award for the best
story from any two issues of INTERNOZE." Indeed all 5 BSFA-
nominated stories ARE from IZ, but can this be because F&SF
(where Ian's `Slow Birds' appeared) lacked the elementary
sense to offer cheap subscriptions to the BSFA voting pool,
and to distribute the magazine with BSFA mailings? A bit more
Watson before the Nebulas: "Amazing news about Moreton
Pinkney: Alexei Sayle, star of the club circuits, the hit
parade, and ex-member of the CP (Marxist-Leninist) has just
bought a house here, next door to the spinster ex-schoolmarm
secretary of the Tory Party. I'm going to ask him to open the
village fete, perhaps by shooting a dead cod through the
head." (IW)
NEBULA AWARD NOMINATIONS: argh! NOVEL _AGAINST INFINITY_
(Greg Benford), _STARTIDE RISING_ (David Brin), _TEA WITH THE
BLACK DRAGON_ (R.A.MacAvoy), _THE VOID CAPTAIN'S TALE_ (Norman
Spinrad), _LYONESSE_ (Jack Vance), _CITADEL OF THE AUTARCH_
(Gene Wolfe). *** NOVELLA `Hardfought' (Greg Bear), `Gospel
According to Gamaliel Crucis' (Michael Bishop), `Her Habiline
Husband' (Michael Bishop), `Eszterhazy and the Autogondola-
Invention' (Avram Davidson), `Homefaring' (Robert
Silverberg). *** NOVELETTE `Blood Music' (Greg Bear), `Blind
Shemmy' (Jack Dann), `The Monkey Treatment' (George RR
Martin), `Black Air' (Kim Stanley Robinson), `Cicada Queen'
(Bruce Sterling), `Slow Birds' (Ian Watson), `Sidon in the
Mirror' (Connie Willis). *** SHORT `The Peacemaker' (Gardner
Dozois), `Her Furry Face' (Leigh Kennedy), `Cryptic' (Jack
McDivitt), `Ghost Town' (Chad Oliver), `Geometry of
Narrative' (Hilbert Schenck), `Wong's Lost & Found Emporium'
(William F.Wu).
Things to note. (1) Either there's been a statistically
implausible number of ties or the committees which are allowed
to add an item in each category `at their discretion' have
been working overtime. (2) Exactly 55% of the fiction
shortlisted by the naff, downmarket, populist Hugo poll
appears also in the refined, artistic, writers'-choice Nebula
list. (3) One of the non-Hugo-listed novelettes, Dann's, had
been sent to all SFWA members by Ellen Datlow of OMNI, with
the usual plea for Nebula votes -- another successful hype!
BURN THIS! Possibly one or two fans in the central Sahara
have still not heard of the May test case at the Old Bailey,
in which a megalomaniac Dept of Public Prosecutions is trying
to set legal precedents whereby, for example, David Pringle
can be done under the Obscene Publications Act for depraving
and corrupting people by recommending William Burroughs. No
joke: WB's JUNKIE is among many `drug-related' books seized by
our wonderful police, along with Thompson's FEAR AND LOATHING
IN LAS VEGAS, Wolfe's ELECTRIC KOOL-AID ACID TEST and A.
Huxley's DOORS OF PERCEPTION. The argument going the rounds in
fandom is that if reinterpretation of the O.P.Act's words `to
deprave and corrupt' allows this lot to be impounded and
possibly burnt, then what about Dick's druggier books, or a
million SF tomes depicting legal pot come 1999, or even Doc
Smith's Lensman batch with their loving descriptions of
`Thionite'-sniffing? H'm. The real point for me is that most
of the seized books mentioned are openly on sale in my local
W.H.Smith. It's a political prosecution, with the OPA not
merely perverted but selectively perverted to attack radical
bookshops (like Acorn, my local Reading one). Annoy the
government and you can be wiped out by having your stock
grabbed and held until the OPA trial: no compensation even if
you win. Over to our man of the issue, G.K.Chesterton: "It is
most intolerable of all to play the tyrant while appealing
only to temporary fiction. Nobody can be expected to stand the
inquisitor who says, `I am burning you alive for what you said
today, and what I shall probably think tomorrow.'" (1930) Now,
friends, you can have your books burnt for saying things which
were perfectly all right yesterday, and are perfectly all
right today provided you're W.H.Smith or similar. Anyone
worried can send a few quid to the defence fund in that test
case (Knockabout Comics & Airlift Books vs Maggie's Censors):
`Right to Read', 249 Kensal Road, London, W.10; 01-969-2945.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH: further publishing horrors.
Chris Priest gloats over having had 8 publishers bidding
frantically for his new novel THE GLAMOUR, finally bagged by
Cape for an advance so huge that Chris hastily bought a new
car to avoid bursting his bank account. Doubleday bought US
rights; the classiest runner-up bid (UK) was said to be on the
lines of "We can't afford any more, Chris... but how would you
like to see all your other books back in print in nice yellow
jackets...?" A.Nonymous writes: "News on the PANTYHOSE/OMNI
thing: PENTHOUSE has been sold to Northern & Shell, an
advertising agency of (as I understand it) dubious reputation.
They've bought the UK PENTHOUSE franchise, including rights to
the OMNI name & mag as well. HOWEVER, the boss of N&S HATES
SF with a vengeance dire and even tried to make the last
editor drop my Silverbob piece. (I rather liked it, but wish
they'd printed what I'd written. At least I spelt Jakubowski
right.) So he doesn't want to do anything with OMNI except use
it as a showcase for ads. Therefore it's going to be coming
out in UK format, unchanged except for UK ads, sometime in the
foreseeable future. Isn't that nice to know?" Bernard Leak,
our foremost Stephen Donaldson fan, has some old news: "It has
transpired that Collins (disguising themselves as Fontana in
the hope that God won't know whom to destroy) have published
THE MAN WHO KILLED HIS BROTHER (as by `Reed Stephens'). I
first knew of its British appearance when it found its way
into remainder bookshops... It displays all the characteristic
Donaldson vices, lurking behind a completely different surface
texture of genre cliches -- this time it's a detective
thriller. I showed Nick `Donaldson flays the English language
alive and empurples his prose with its blood' Lowe how to lay
his hands on a copy, and he sallied forth. Next thing he
knew, Tibs was reading it, and punctuated the brooding silence
with delighted yelps like `It's good, isn't it?' Er, well,
Tibs IS a bit strange..." (BL) Interested in a private eye
called (with typical SRD felicity) Mick Axbrewder -- not
leprous but alcoholic? Try offering a quid for ANSIBLE's copy
of TMWKHB.
ARRIVALS/DEPARTURES: Kevin & Diana Smith, realizing that
the only way for Big Kev to escape the BSFA company secretary
post is to provide a replacement, have arranged to found a
dynasty later this year... Mal & Hazel Ashworth, as a
preliminary to Mal's December '83 retirement, finally
contrived to get married -- "at the Registry Office one
morning last October (I think it was)," reports Mal,
doubtless overtired from the honeymoon... John Newton Chance
died recently: the author of 150-odd books including the 20+
`John Lymington' SF potboilers (FROOMB!), he made a steady
income by delivering thrillers to Robert Hale at a chapter a
week -- 4 chapters of the latest remain mouldering in the
Hale office... Maxim Jakubowski has resigned as managing
director of his very own Zomba Books empire... J.S.Cairns,
Sunderland fringefan and amateur publisher, died in November
1983 while partway through a Dorothy Davies manuscript
(reports a perturbed Dorothy) -- the first ANSIBLE subscriber
to die, alas... Harry (Andy) Andruschak writes from an
alcoholism unit: "underwent detoxification and today am cold
sober for the 1st time in 14 years. But I do have the shakes,
and will for a while"... Charles Barren `semi-retired' as SF
Foundation maestro, in February... AD ASTRA magazine, which
you all thought/hoped had sunk into a peaceful grave in 1981,
is still appearing -- according to the 1984 WRITERS' AND
ARTISTS' YEARBOOK, which denies the existence of anything
called INTERZONE... Jerry Pournelle, Jim Baen & John F.Carr
invite me to contribute to their new skiffy mag which will try
to emulate the past glories of (wait for it) DESTINIES. Rush
MSS to FAR FRONTIERS, J.E.P. & Associates, 3960 Laurel Canyon
Blvd, Suite 372, Studio City, CA 91604... And George Hay's
pterodactyls, long thought extinct, have re-emerged onto his
letterhead.
SEACON '84, EASTERCON/EUROCON: hasn't happened as I
type, but this doesn't preclude a pre-con report. Best
committee coup: the cheapo rail fares (#3.55 return to
Brighton from anywhere in Southern Region, #5.50 from anywhere
else), leading to a flood of enquiries from other cons to the
hitherto obscure Theatre & Concert Rail Club -- through whom
diplomatic A.Akien arranged the deal by swearing most solemnly
that OF COURSE the con would be chiefly concerned with the
Performing Arts. Most exciting panic: the news about two weeks
before the con that the chosen insurance company was refusing
to cover the event, and `no insurance no convention'.
(Substitute believed to have been arranged.) Best in-committee
feud: Katie & Martin Hoare vs Alan Dorey. Newest GoH outrage
(apart from the lack of information about any of them in any
progress report): Wiktor Bukato going on in SHARDS OF BABEL
about GoH Pierre Barbet (Claude Avice) not having received
some Polish medal claimed in PB's own literary biography --
Marjorie Brunner phoned at length to explain Bukato is all
wet, Barbet is an honourable man, the problematical medal will
be on view at Seacon, etc etc. Best how-to-get-there map: the
one redrawn at the last second for PR4, the Doreyographical
original having reportedly omitted vital sidestreets and left
the Western Road precinct as the only car route to the hotel.
Most alarming overheard comment, from a jetlagged M.Hoare back
from a Chicago visit just one week before Seacon: "Oh shit, I
forgot to cancel the disco." Best Omission: all World SF
members (plus selected others: see PR4) are invited to the
Mayor's Reception on Thursday, but both PR4 and the WSF flyer
neglect to mention that according to the highest authorities
on etiquette (K.Hoare) those daring to present themselves
without lounge suit or equivalent will be rebuffed at the
door... Best Promise: at one stage Author Services Inc offered
to provide Kate Bush (by way of BATTLEFIELD EARTH promotion)
but instead are laying on giant inflatable aliens. Having read
BE at last and found it unspeakably awful, I was tempted to
provide free pins with this issue... Funnybone Award for Most
`Humerous' Typo in PR4: winner's name and address withheld by
request. Rumoured estimate of number of walk-ins at #12 needed
for Seacon to break even: approx 500. Surprise Award Category:
the Doc Weir Award reappeared in PR4 when everyone thought it
dead, this because a BSFA chairman who shall be nameless had
the trophy valued, found it to be solid silver and worth
#1000, and understandably decided it had BETTER be presented
to get the responsibility off his hands. After last-minute
shouting it's likely that the DWA vote will follow the Eurocon
Awards pattern: everyone votes, after which a select jury
gives the award to whoever you should have voted for. ("So
what's new?" mutter past students of the DWA.) Surprise Non-
Award: the planned short story competition -- to be judged by
C.Priest -- was quietly dropped after the discovery that
merely because no rules were ever published, there were no
entries... An abridged version of Hawkwind, whom I believe to
be itinerant players of chamber music, should be making the
night air hideous on Sunday, so don't expect to find me there
that evening...
=============================================================
THE VERY BORING ANSIBLE CONVENTION SUPPLEMENT
Already past: Picocon at Imperial College, London, Feb 18
(which broke new ground in GoH conscription by announcing
putative guests and later giving them a nice surprise by
telling them they were guests) and a TSR "Gamesfair" at
Reading U, 6-8 April (during my fleeting visit I was amazed to
discover that people REALLY DO sit playing D&D etc all day,
that the bar closed throughout the afternoon and that it was
regarded as a coup to have secured an evening bar extension to
11.30pm. Fast footwork helped me avoid Stephen Donaldson fans,
G.Gygax, and the BBC wallies who wanted to be told where all
the devil-worship and human sacrifice was happening). At the
SF Lunch Club, Charles Platt (on a UK promotional tour,
pushing MICROMANIA) was mutedly, hideously outspoken about the
food and the company: unluckily, or luckily, he was unable to
stay and make his speech. As he left to be interviewed for
the umpteenth time that week, he charged Malcolm Edwards to
repeat the Words of Platt: "This event is stifled by
geriatrics! I shall not return!" Speechifying time came round,
and Malcolm's free rendition went: "Charles asks me to say, I
love all you sons of bitches..." This is known as Editorial
Skill. Onward...
UFPCON 84 (4-7 May, Midland Hotel, Manchester) is the
17th "official" UK Trek thingy: #15 att. 135 Greensted Road,
Loughton, Essex.
BSFA MEETING (18 May, King of Diamonds, Greville Street,
London): these happen 3rd Friday each month. May's should be
fun -- a repeat of the amazing Nick Lowe `So You Fancy
Yourself As A Writer' event from Fencon. On 15 June, John
Clute explains how to define good sf in 15,000 terse, obscure
polysyllables; on 20 July, Big Rob Holdstock reveals the
severe health hazard of not buying his new novel MYTHAGO
WOOD.
TYNECON II: THE MEXICON (25-8 May, Royal Station Hotel,
Newcastle): #13.25/person single/dbl/twin, #15.50 sngl+bath.
Tynecon has provoked astonishingly silly comments from fans
who -- while accepting cons devoted to a single media interest
as Perfectly Normal -- regard the Mexicon concentration on
"written sf in its widest sense" as monstrous, elitist, and
very, very evil. Really! The committee is gloating over having
signed up Russell Hoban and Alasdair Gray; with my review copy
of Gray's 1982, JANINE (Cape) came this fascinating letter --
"Although not strictly science fictional JANINE certainly has
fantastic elements, on the strength of which [Gray] has been
invited to read at Tynecon II, the Science Fiction
Convention..." First time I've ever known a publisher play up
rather than try to deny the sf aspects of a borderline book.
VIEW FROM TWO SHORES (2-5 July, NE London Poly):
subtitled `1984: Now or Never?' Guest speaker: A.C.Clarke.
Membership: #75.00 plus 15% VAT. Accommodation: more or less
up to you. Bar: nothing about one in the flyer. Incipient
academics should rush their cash to Colin Mably, SEH Short
Course Unit, NE London Poly, Longbridge Road, Dagenham, Essex,
RM8 2AS. A conference, not a convention.
ALBACON 84 (Central Hotel, Glasgow, 20-23 July): #4 supp
#9 att. GoH Harlan Ellison. 62 Campsie Road, Wishaw, ML2 7QG.
Still beset by the deadly Shavian rival:
FAIRCON 84 (Ingram Hotel, Glasgow, 20-23 July): #6 supp
#9 att. GoH Sidney Jordan plus the 2000 AD mob (said to have
signed up as Albacon 84 attending members so they can Meet
Harlan). 18 Greenwood Road, Clarkston, Glasgow, G76 7AQ.
Forgot to mention Mat Irvine, another GoH, and the fake Bob
Shaw, who as organizer will be very hurt if not vilified as
usual in these pages. Vilify, vilify.
LEISURE HIVE (it says here)(4-5 August, somewhere in
Swindon): a Dr Who thingy. Data: 2 Domestic Qtrs, Bryanston
School, Blandford, Dorset. That's all I know.
SPACE-EX 84 (6-11 Aug, Wembley Centre, or so it's said):
we last met this no doubt sincere and wonderful, but
extremely inept, outfit in A35 (Oct 83), when bossman Mike
Parry explained that publicity (you know, what you do to get
new members) would be confined to existing members until 1
January 1984, when a massive campaign would be unleashed on
the world. It is April and my Seacon spies -- hi there,
Rochelle! -- report the first sign of life in the form of a
`really juvenile' ad in the programme book, with a new
contact address (24-25 Foley Street, London, W.1) and a
curious lack of data such as registration fees. Paul Vincent,
who long ago joined Space-Ex, complains of having received
little but dross for his money, going on in great and
fascinating detail in a letter which I've lost. (Ooops.)
Whither Space-Ex?
FANDERSON 84 (17-19 Aug, Bloomsbury Centre Hotel,
London): GoHs Gerry Anderson, Christopher Burr; #15 att; PO
Box 308, London, W4 1QL. Con devoted to the productions of...
no, let me leave you with the tormenting enigma of just whom.
OXCON (24-27 Aug, St Catherine's Coll, Oxford) -- aka
Unicon 5. GoH Brian Aldiss. #4.50 supp #8 att to 18 Norham
Gardens, Oxford. Single rooms (only) #14 inc VAT and
breakfast. Elitist convention devoted to `Helliconia' cult
fandom.
SILICON 8 (24-27 Aug, Grosvenor Hotel, Newcastle):
elitist event devoted to not talking about sf. #4 att to same
address as Tynecon II; hotel rooms from #7.50 (communal attic
dormitory) to #26.00 (vast family room with gold- plated taps,
football pitch, sauna etc) inc breakfast, VAT. "Cheapest con
anywhere," they say.
GALILEOCON 84 (24-26 Aug, Newcastle Crest Hotel) -- 18th
"official" UK Trekthing. #15 att; 30 Kirksdale Green, Rye
Hill, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, NE4 6HU.
LA-CON II (30 Aug -- 3 Sept, Anaheim Con Center, Los
Angeles): 42nd worldcon, GoH Gordon Dickson, FGoH Dick Eney.
$50 att ($75 after 15 July) to PO Box 8442, Van Nuys, CA
91409, USA. Since page 1 a Hugo release has arrived: 513
ballots cast with a total of 9,594 nominations covering 1,705
separate items (books, films, people etc) -- what useful
information! Total number of items to get nominations in each
category: novel 200, novella 58, novelette 121, short 230,
nonfic 72, dramatic 100, pro editor 76, pro artist 156,
semiprozine 52, fanzine 176, fanwriter 165, fanartist 193, JWC
105. 1984 Hugo ballots will be "machine-readable mark-sense
cards", prompting evil Colin Fine to suggest we all return
slightly enlarged or reduced xeroxes to annoy the computer...
BENELUXCON (7-8 Sept, Gent, Belgium): still the most
popular continental con amid UK fans. GoHs Robert Sheckley,
James White, Michael Kubiak. Date shifted forward a week to
avoid clashing with international Policecon. Info:
Eendenplassstraat 70, B9050 Evergem, Belgium. Membership
approx #5.50 att, rooms approx #4.50 per person per night.
Accommodation in `Fabliolahome', con in `Van Eyck Centre' some
10 minutes' walk away.
MYTHCON 84 (7-9 Sept, Humberside Coll of Higher Ed):
Gohs Anne McCaffrey, Jack Cohen, Brian Froud. Data: 131 Sheen
Lane, East Sheen, London, SW14 8AE.
BRUNNERCON (22 Sept, Hotel Calgary, Casalbordino Lido,
(CH), Abruzzo, Italy): GoH John Brunner. In celebration of
JB's 50th birthday. Open party for any fan who should happen
to be passing. Organizers: John Brunner PLC.
MILFORD SF WRITERS' CONFERENCE UK (23-30 Sept, Milford-
on-Sea): the real elite, by invitation only, a devious,
twisted group of literary mafiosi by comparison with whom the
Bavarian Illuminati are but children playing in the sand.
Your only chance is to bribe the wholly corrupt committee:
Tuttle (chair), Edwards, Langford.
CONQUEST (10-12 Oct, Ingram Hotel, Glasgow): GoHs the
Pinis, James White. #12 att. 104 Pretoria Road, Patchway,
Bristol, BS12 5PZ. Whenever I make jokes about ConQuest, Linda
Miller hits me and threatens me with horrid tortures, but --
OUCH! GERR-OFF! Oh, all right, supporting membership #5.
GALACTICON (27-28 Oct, London): media thing, presumably.
#7.50 day, #15 att. 171 Heath Road, Hounslow, Middlesex.
CYMRUCON (2-4 Nov, Central Hotel, Cardiff) -- swaps
places with Novacon in shock horror escape bid! In other
words, Cymrucon tried to move from the fabulously squalid
Central Hotel, and by the time they'd explored every stone and
left no avenue unturned (without luck), the Central was full
every weekend except... #5 att to 56 Honinton Road,
Llanrumney, Cardiff, CF3 9QL. Usual guest list, but no
R.L.Fanthorpe: John Brunner remembers with a cringe of horror
how last year he presented born-again RLF with a lovingly
crafted certificate making him perpetual patron of Cardiff SF
and cons, and Lionel spurned it because "he didn't approve of
the things that happen at night at conventions." WHICH
things...?
NOVACON 14 (9-11 Nov, Grand Hotel, Birmingham): GoH Rob
Holdstock, yay yay. Membership fee cut to #6 by resorting
like Mexicon to duplicated rather than litho PRs -- though
unlike Mexicon's, no.1 was incredibly tatty and provoked a
grovelling Steve Green (chair) to ring and inform me that it
was WHOLLY UNTYPICAL. Hotel #15/person, presumably including
breakfast and VAT (not mentioned in PR1). Bouquets to 11 Fox
Green Cres, Acocks Green, Birmingham, B27 7SD. Despite PR1's
aspersions on ANSIBLE and significant members of COFF, I shall
turn the other cheek and urge my readers to put away all
thoughts of helping Steve Green win the Concrete Overcoat Fan
Fund by sending 10p/vote and Steve's name to COFF, 438 Station
Road, Dorridge, Solihull, W Midlands. (COFF proceeds go to
GUFF and TAFF.)
EASTERCON 1985 will be decided before many of you see
this: as we go to press the only visible bid is Yorcon III
(Leeds), 45 Harold Mount, Leeds, LS6 1PW... one or two subtle
irregularities in the Falcon 85 (Falkland Islands) bid flyer
give the hint that they may fail to carry the vote despite
announcing Jorge Luis Borges as GoH. Speaking of which, D.West
writes concerning a chance reference which I failed to edit
from his last issue's letter: "I can tell you that Graham
James was not best pleased by that leak concerning the GoH. In
fact, he was fucking livid, and two weeks later is still
muttering unsociable things about ripping out my lungs and
liver. My defence that it would all be the same in a hundred
years and that nobody gave a shit about GoHs anyway did not
seem to go down too well. Another satisfied Hansen voter.
Anyway, there is no news from Leeds except that all future
discussions of Yorcon III will be held behind locked doors at
two in the morning on dates when it has been ascertained that
I am not less than 15 miles away, unconscious, or both. It's
really sad, this lack of trust... Speaking of which, Simon
Ounsley showed me the latest issue of MICROWAVE. I see that
Terry Hill has got his nerve together enough to move on from
slandering me in private (by way of telephone calls asking if
I can be relied upon to embezzle the TAFF funds) to libelling
me in public (by way of similar suggestions in his editorial).
Interesting times, eh? (He hasn't quite got his nerve together
to the extent of sending me a copy, though. Still, it's the
thought that counts.)" (DW)
But we're slipping away from the subject of cons. After
Easter comes BECCON 85 (26-28 July, Basildon, Essex Crest
Hotel, #4 supp #8 att to 191 The Heights, Northolt,
Middlesex), the Australian 43RD WORLDCON (see Britain in 87
flyer) and a clutch of other stuff. A massed Trout (Glasgow
fandom) meeting failed to confirm Bob fake Shaw as the
manifest leader of ALBACON 85 (July): John Wilkes of the
famous Wilkettes is chair, after a hard-fought vote in which
he narrowly defeated a hamster. For 1986 we have two Eastercon
bids, Glasgow again -- no details -- and Contravention
(Donaldson, Doreys, Hughes, Huxley, Oldroyd, Pearson, Wilkes,
Vine; #1 presupp to 46 Colwyn Road, Beeston, Leeds, LS11 6PY).
Contravention's questionnaire asks fans to pick their
favourite venue from Brighton, Blackpool (where we hear the
hotel whose smallness told against the 1984con bid for this
Easter is to grow much huger in the near future) and the
Birmingham NEC or subset thereof. Committee opinion is
believed to favour the latter. STOP PRESS: Ian Watson writes!
"We were going to the Festival de l'Insolite down in the south
of France, last week of May, but organizer Bernard Blanc
writes that the whole festival has been cancelled due to
poverty, bugger it." (13-4-84)
=============================================================
*** COA ***
JUSTIN ACKROYD: no fixed abode, but temporarily c/o
Nicholas/Hanna (address Bin87 flyer) :: TOM BOARDMAN JR (& SF
Lunch Club), Books for Children, Park House, Dollar Street,
Cirencester, Gloucestershire, GL7 2AN :: FAITH BROOKER, Flat
2, 191 Anerley Road, Penge, London, SE20 8EL :: LINDA & RON
BUSHYAGER, 24 Leopard Road, Paoli, PA 19301, USA :: PETER
COHEN, 2 Belgravia Road, North End, Portsmouth, Hants ::
BENEDICT S CULLUM, 35 Totteridge Lane, Whetstone, London, N20
0HD :: STEVE DAVIES, 87 Holland Pines, Great Hollands,
Bracknell :: CHRIS EVANS as Faith Brooker :: GEORGE FLYNN, PO
Box 1069, Kendall Square Station, Cambridge, MA 02142, USA ::
WM GIBSON, 2630 W 7th Avenue, Vancouver, BC, Canada V6K 1Z1 ::
GARY FARBER (see Bin87 flyer) :: PATRICK & TERESA NIELSEN
HAYDEN, 75 Fairview (2B), New York, NY 10040, USA :: PAUL
HESKETT, Sunshine House, Nat Children's Home, Clayhill Road,
Alverstoke, Gosport, PO12 2BZ :: GARRY & ANNETTE KILWORTH,
`Greenacres' ("Yuck! That'll have to go" -- GK), The Chase,
Ashingdon, Rochford, Essex :: BERNARD LEAK, 15 Sunderland
Road, Tittensor, Stoke-on-Trent, ST12 9QJ :: LINDA MILLER, 1A
Aylesham Way, Yately, Camberley, Surrey, GU17 :: LINDSEY
MORRIS, 59 Bernhard Baron House, 33 Henriques Street, London,
E.1 :: MARC ORTLIEB, 453 Kooyung Road (modulating to 455
Kooyung Road, for the promotion of greater confusion),
Elsternwick, Victoria, Australia :: SIMON POLLEY, 85a Victoria
Road, Leeds, West Yorks, LS6 1DR :: GEOFF RIPPINGTON is moving
to Reading in the near future -- argh! :: CYRIL SIMSA, (back
at) 18 Muswell Avenue, London, N10 2EG :: JAMES STYLES, 145
Faraday Street, Carlton, Vic 3053, Australia :: JEFF SUTER,
18 Norton Close, Southwick, Fareham, Hants PO17 6HU ::
Sources: named fans, F770, THYME.
*** INFINITELY IMPROBABLE ***
FANFUNDERY: David Nessle won the first Scandinavia to Rest-of-
Europe race by a vast majority and attends Seacon 84; a Rest-
of-Europe to Scandinavia race should follow next year,
allowing some lucky UK or Continental fan to travel all the
way to Swecon 85 only to discover with a thrill of nameless
horror that the GoH is Chris Priest. DUFF (Australia to US)
was won by Jack Herman, 78 votes to John Packer's 11: as
punishment for hubris, Jack attends LA-Con. Dave Wood rushes
me a headline attesting to the widespread fear that D.West may
win TAFF and never return from America, thus depleting the UK
gene pool: BID FOR A WEST SPERM BANK. (Also HEART SWAP FOR
WEST, INTERPOL TO PROBE WEST, &c.) Vote for Hansen!... JUDITH
HANNA has achieved Total Anglicization, as proved when I
phoned to ask about Marc Ortlieb's COA above, and she assumed
that Victoria could only refer to the station. Her new job is
p.a. to Bruce Kent & Joan Ruddock of CND... FANZINES IN THEORY
AND PRACTICE by D.West (see flyer, A36): 11 weeks past
`publication date' and counting... CONSTELLATION (1983
Worldcon) losses reported to be as vast as $63-69,000.
Desperate fundraising campaigns have made up some $27,000 of
this, but the market for Masquerade videotapes is by now
almost as limited as the continuing supply of anonymous $1000
donations from the Boston area (F770). Does bankruptcy
loom?... BSFA COUP! Something of the sort has been rumoured
for the AGM, with the names of K.Rattan and C.Connor bandied
as chief conspirators. I wonder... Chairman Dorey contributes
a worried editorial to MATRIX 52, wondering whether the
visible decay is due to `forgetfullness' or `dis-
satisfaction': to annoy Alan I intended to compile an index of
noted fans who've recently left, including Steve Green (who
nevertheless appears, to his surprise, as offering himself for
Council re-election in the AGM notice) and Jim `Captive'
Barker (escaped after all these years!). But life is too
short. FOCUS has now been bagged by Dorothy Davies & Sue
Thomason... GLASGOW HORROR: after being accused so often of
lack of balance, ANSIBLE is unwilling to print the report
that Bob (fake) Shaw has had to be removed by upstanding
Glasgow policemen after causing a nuisance in rival Neil
Craig's shop. For the sake of balance can someone please send
a rumour about Neil having to be warned off by the police
after...? TERRY CARR updates the "rather wild rumours"
concerning him and Author Services Inc (A37): "There was an
initial misunderstanding, but this has been resolved in a
thoroughly professional manner and the matter is closed... I
want to make it clear that I was treated very well by Doug Hay
and Fred Harris of ASI and by Len Forman of Bridge
Publications," etc etc. (TC)... PEOPLE AND OTHERS: PASCAL
THOMAS loved Corflu (US version of Silicon) because
"conventions always look better when seen from the guest-of-
honour seat. Bless the hand that picked my name from the hat.
Oh shoot, I've just blessed Terry Carr's hand, he'll just have
to wash it real hard for the next few days... Exchange heard
when a couple of hardy fans were trying to work a vintage
mimeo: `It's the duplicator version of the Society for
Creative Anachronism' -- `Yes, but they only print with blunt
mimeos'." (PT) CHRIS PRIEST turned out to be the brain behind
a Society of Authors poll to determine the wonderfulness of
W.H.Smiths as booksellers -- final score Priest 1, WHS 0... WM
GIBSON regrets the "indefinite postponement of the fanzine-of-
comment promised to British faneditors who so generously
posted their product down the black hole of my Professional
Activity: I was midway through the more or less final draft of
ENDLESS FUCKING NEUROMANCER, and I'd read them and promise I'd
Do Something About It as soon as I was through the damn book.
Some six months later, having signed two more contracts (COUNT
ZERO for Ace, LOG OF THE MUSTANG SALLY for Arbor), I see where
I slipped up." (WG)... OLON WIGGINS, 3rd Worldcon chairman
(Denvention I, 1941), died in February aged 74... ROBERT
LICHTMAN invites you to buy his fanthology BEST OF FRAP, 76pp
of fanwriting by famous names (many of them Greg Benford),
$8.50 post free -- PO Box 30, Glen Ellen, CA 95442, USA...
M.JOHN HARRISON turned up recently with a story in WOMEN'S
JOURNAL, and romantic-fiction lists are being eagerly scanned
for the appearance of FOREVER VIRICONIUM or similar... NEIL
GAIMAN writes in horror to complain that famous sf knowledge
master Dr C.Greenland has never read any G.K.Chesterton! And:
"self & Kim Newman just signed a contract with Arrow to
produce GHASTLY BEYOND BELIEF, a book of sf quotations from
all media featuring worst blurbs, worst prose from award-
winning stories, oodles of wonderful trivia though not of
course LISTS." (NG)... MARY GENTLE joins reviewers' mafia (inc
Langford, Evans, Greenland) with INTERZONE column, passing her
initiation test with flying colours by throwing up on all the
right pages of HABITATION ONE (F.Dunstan)... IMAGO SF/F mag
(US) folds after exciting run of zero issues... APAs:
proliferation reaches alarming levels with a Soft Toys Apa
(Pam Wells -- who rejoices in the title `Big Ears' -- 24a
Beech Road, Bowes Park, London, N11 2DA). D.West's A37 letter
provoked comment from Paul Vincent, who wishes it to be known
that he administrates the Nova Award these days (25 Dovedale
Avenue, Pelsall, Walsall, W Midlands, WS3 4HG) and think the
rules debar work confined to apas; also Joy Hibbert, who made
vast numbers of mutually contradictory points about `insecure
male fans', and observed that D.West was very parochial for
not having visited RaCon to look at something displayed in its
artshow and therefore not at all restricted to Women's
Periodical eyes. (For `parochial', I think, read `broke'.)...
SURPRISE, SURPRISE: what a treat it was for John Brunner when
Arrow books, instead of photo-offsetting his CRUCIBLE OF TIME
from the US edition as planned, reset the whole book and gave
him an exciting week of unexpected proofreading... BOOKS FOR
SALE: ask me for new/remainder of s/h lists...
=============================================================
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS #29: ILA
(a.k.a. SESHUKULUMBWE)
ING'OMBE-MUKA: a kind of beetle used by the Baila to tie into
their hair to catch lice.
ANSIBLE 38: Dave Langford 94 London Road, Reading, Berks., RG1
5AU, England.
=============================================================
A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSOR
This page, in earlier issues of ANSIBLE 38, contained an
extremely thrilling flyer from a fannish book dealer (Oh all
right -- Simon Gosden, 25 Avondale Road, Rayleigh, Essex, SS6
8NJ). I've run out of the flyers, and I've dealt with the vast
mailing list, and I still have a heap of copies left all
virgin and uncollated. This is BY DESIGN; it is in accordance
with a MASTER PLAN. Over the year or so since my last issue
of the almost famous TWLL-DDU, I've been assailed by guilt as
hordes of fanzines arrive, and arrive, and keep on arriving,
while I don't seem to have got round to another TD as yet.
(But that is not dead which can eternal lie, and TD contained
more lies than most things -- except possibly ANSIBLE -- so
don't send flowers just yet.) Instead, this ANSIBLE is going
to millions of truly deserving fans as a deeply felt thankyou,
as a truly sincere acknowledgement of the great joy and
intellectual engagement given me by your fanzine. Thank you,
thank you from the bottom of my heart. (And if any cynical
bugger suggests I'm only trying to scrape up a few Hugo votes,
I'll... I'll... ignore them, that's what I'll do.)
Since A38 appeared at Easter, many things have happened. Rob
Hansen won TAFF by 101 votes to 60 or thereabouts. D.West
published his collected fanwriting at last (v. triffic); I
believe current price is #5/$20 (don't ask me). John Sladek
got the BSFA novel award and David Brin got the Nebula. Yorcon
III is the 1985 UK Eastercon nearly losing to Hold Over Funds
-- #4 supp #8 att to address as elsewhere. My Seacon 84 talk
`The Dragonhiker's Guide to Battlefield Covenant at Dune's
Edge: Odyssey Two' brought me notoriety and death threats from
the authors discussed -- now published in Dave Wood's XYSTER
and shortly due in Marty & Robbie Cantor's HOLIER THAN THOU,
so there. The BSFA conspiracy (facing page) fizzled. A certain
fan who went to Noreascon in 1980 has at last finished his
TAFF report... collected edition later this year, with luck,
from Rob Jackson's Inca Press. Blank space below is graciously
left for you to scribble in, if I haven't already done so.
Keep well, and keep phoning the really vile hot news through
to Reading (0734) 665804.
Dave Langford, May 1984
ANSIBLE 40, October 1984: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE
is a bit of history. Addresses may have changed (though the
editor's postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits
are invalid, the Prestel number is no more, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by SIMON BRADSHAW
... to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 40 looks back over five hectic years of publication
and, in a flood of sudden nostalgia, decides it's safer not to
mention any of the details. Instead, the usual up-to-the-
gigasecond news and abuse from DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD,
READING, BERKS, RG1 5AU, England... Subscription rates are
being heroically, if temporarily, held constant despite postal
increases: 6 issues for #2.00 with notes to me, sterling
cheques/money orders to ANSIBLE, Girobank transfer to a/c 24
475 4403; $3.50 US to agents Mary & Bill Burns, 23 Kensington
Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550; #2 equivalent to Roelof Goudriaan
should you meet him at some continental con; and for
Australians I hope to quote rates in local currency real soon
now. (Leigh Edmonds, This Means You!) The cartoon is by BRAD
W.FOSTER. the mailing labels are as ever the work of KEITH
FREEMAN, last issue's collation was by Hazel and me because
no one else turned up (mumble, grump), and this issue will be
zooming off to 424 addresses. Mailing label runs: LASTISH XX
means you're OK to issue XX, SUB DUE means you've just stopped
being OK, ***** delicately conveys that even if your best
friend hasn't pointed it out, you have been non-OK for a
detectable period, and TRADE means you're permanently OK until
I change my mind. This issue's excursion into culture: "I
believe that composing on the typewriter has probably done
more than anything else to deteriorate English prose." (Edmund
Wilson, 1962.) [] DOES ANYONE read this small print? To test
this, I'm putting the Complaints Department here: Marise
Morland-Chapman passes on comments from boyfriend Sydney
Jordan to the effect that he didn't object to the fake Bob
Shaw, merely to "being on the unpopular side" of the
Albacon/Faircon clash -- "if he's going to take 3 days off he
doesn't want to spend it lecturing to 3 people." Mr Jordan
avers that he will never agree to be GoH anywhere ever
again... Malcolm Edwards was miffed by my fascist, oppressive
behaviour in not mentioning his BSFA award on the front page;
Chris Hughes complained that I'd utterly failed to trace 95%
of Seacon's problems to a certain co-Chairman who is not John
Brunner; and Alan Dorey was unhappy about the `Cassandra' bits
(but later said that when he actually got around to reading
Ansible rather than relying on Graham James's phone call, it
seemed OK). Fulsome apologies to all these afflicted persons.
Oct 1984.
=============================================================
### BENEATH THE FLAT STONE :: THE WORLD OF BOOKS
J.G.Ballard's EMPIRE OF THE SUN, heavily tipped for the Booker
Prize by millions of reviewers, duly bounded onto the
shortlist in the favourite's position despite an unusually
boring and anti-innovative panel of judges-whose token human
being Polly Devlin expressed loud bogglement that Angela
Carter's NIGHTS AT THE CIRCUS wasn't shortlisted. (A lot of
reviewers thought the same. The GUARDIAN explained that AC's
"brilliant extravaganza may have been thought too overreaching
by the rather conservative panel of judges.") Devlin went on
to explain that EMPIRE was the favourite because "it is the
only novel on the shortlist that is not about writers
writing." Even PRIVATE EYE gave its blessing to `Jim Gentleman
Ballard'... but rumblings of disquiet have emerged from
5,271,009 people interned in 40s Shanghai (setting of EMPIRE)
who are unanimous in saying It Wasn't Like That At All,
Ballard Has Got It All Wrong. "Er um well," replied a shifty-
sounding Gollancz editor, "Ballard was creating a
METAPHORICAL, FICTIONAL truth." The crack ANSIBLE team of
semanticists has analysed this remark by Malcolm (for it is
he) Edwards, decoding it as: "You cretins, this is really SF
set in an ALTERNATE WORLD Shanghai, only I can't say that with
the mainstream critics listening..." STOP PRESS: Booker
results later this issue!
A MARVELLOUS EAR FOR NAMES is one of the things that just
about everyone grants Tolkien. Which is why I think it's a bit
mean of Unwin to publish (in THE BOOK OF LOST TALES II) the
fact that in callow 1917 he perpetrated, inter alia, an elf
called Tinfang Warble...
BOB SHAW'S _FIRE PATTERN_ has roused speculation; the hero
rings an aging John Sladek to ask about spontaneous combustion
in people, and can only extract flip, joky, context-free
answers. Is Shaw needling Sladek, I was asked? Bob confesses:
"John wrote all his own dialogue for that scene." thus FIRE
PATTERN -- likes LIES, INC, which has two Sladek linking
passages -- becomes a vital item for the Sladek bibliography
even now being prepared by notorious pamphleteer Chris Drumm.
(CD produces mini-booklet SF/reference stuff at 20-55pp:
recent ones are `It's Down the Slippery Cellar Stairs',
Lafferty nonfic $2; `Love Among the Xoids', Sladek short $1;
`A James Gunn Checklist' $1.25; `Tiger, Tiger!' short Gunn
novel from 1952, $2.25, all postpaid: PO Box 445, Polk City,
Iowa, 50226.) Meanwhile, Bob shyly confesses to having
contracted tom write Gollancz a massive SF Blockbuster of
120,000 words or more! Title? Content? "Er, I'm still thinking
about that part."
SAVOY CENSORED, AS USUAL: D.Britton & M.Butterworth of Savoy
Books produced a vast anthology, SAVOY DREAMS, a weird and
slightly self-indulgent (eg. reprinting all the reviews of
previous Savoy Books) collection full of famous names, bits of
books that didn't get published, the inside story of their
police prosecution, etc: apparently they only did 800 copies
at #7.95, sending most of these to reviewers who almost
instantly said nothing. Hear now the word of fearless
alternative bookshop Compendium (NW.1), tactfully explaining
to Savoy why Compendium feels unable to stock SD: "Dear
assholes, I've got enough boring letters to open every morning
without you two whining because we don't want to stock your
book... The pseudo-mystical soft porn you specialize in is
very, very conservative and deeply boring. I mean, down here
it's 1984 and our customers are just NOT INTERESTED in such
pretentious twaddle. Piss on you, CHRIS RENDER." Far out, man.
THE SF SOURCEBOOK ed.D.Wingrove was launched on tides of
alcohol, 3 Sept, down in the Planetarium's `Astronomers'
Gallery' amid giant orreries and a model of Ptolemaic
epicycles which for authenticity used real bicycle wheels.
Brian Aldiss's speech did not neglect to mention the book had
been HIS idea. "What market d'you think this book's aimed at?"
someone asked Brian Stableford. "Remainder", he said
instantly. Brian had contributed to the book's `Michelin Guide
To SF', but denied having given the supreme accolade of five
stars for characterization to (wait for it) Jack Chalker. "I
didn't give five stars to anything," he said. "Nor I," said
Roz Kaveney. "In fact I gave lots of things no stars at all,"
grumbled BS, "but they all got edited out." Somewhere a boring
ANSIBLE editor was droning, "Listen to this. C.Sheffield's WEB
BETWEEN THE WORLDS gets five for literary merit, putting this
undistinguished acolyte of Arthur C.Clarke ahead of Aldiss,
Dick, Huxley, Lem, Nabokov, Orwell, Swift, Twain, Vonnegut and
Wells, not to mention Clarke himself..." With such
controversy, how could the book fail? Presently the
Planetarium slung everyone out: the Wingrove coterie retreated
to DW's private party ("I don't suppose I'll be seeing you
there?" said Ritchie Smith to Roz: "No, I thought you wouldn't
be invited.") and the rest of us went home to write our
reviews.
NON-REVIEWS: D.Wingrove is also responsible for John Goodchild
Publishers' `SF Alternatives' series, aimed at producing nice,
expensive editions of books you already have. To hand are
Bester's TIGER! TIGER! (I turned straight to the typographical
pyrotechnics of ch.15, hoping to find the bits clearly missing
on p231 of the Penguin edition, only to find this IS
photolithoed from the Penguin edition-rats) and Crowley's
BEASTS (a bit young, at 8 years, for canonization, but never
mind. It would have been gracious, though, to cut a page of
editorial introduction and make room for Crowley's omitted
dedication and epigraph). Another reissue deserving of a
mention: H.G.Wells's THE CROQUET PLAYER from Ian Henry
Publications, possibly the best of Wells's later fiction and
disturbingly prophetic (in 1936) of events in 1939. FANDOM
DIRECTORY 1984-5 ($9.95: Fandom Computer Services, PO Box
4278, San Bernadino, CA 92409) may be of value to people
wanting to compile vast mailing lists of US comics/media fans,
or to purchase plastic bags (the principal product
advertised). But coverage is spotty-I can't even find LOCUS in
the publications index-and the 230 or so UK addresses are
riddles with bygone fanzines, cons and addresses. The problem
is that FD is not researched but compiled from forms completed
by (some) fans: imagine how slim and useful the telephone
directory would be if everyone had to make an active and
regular effort, involving postal costs, to be listed. Caveat
emptor. Lastly, Mosaic Publishing Ltd have released computer
game versions of Harrison's STAINLESS STEEL RAT SAVES THE
WORLD and Moorcock's NOMAD OF TIME (the `Bastable' Trilogy),
#9.95 apiece (CBM-64 version only). Over the phone I mentioned
to a Mosaic publicist that I'd heard Harry enthuse about
working with a programmer on the Rat adventure-game: "Oh no,"
was the reply, "that would be the other version that'll be
released in the States, he didn't have anything to do with
this one." Oh.
DISCH BATHROOM HORROR! Roz Kaveney gleefully notes that one of
the hideous fates allotted to characters in Tom Disch's new
THE BUSINESSMAN: A TALE OF TERROR is being condemned to haunt
a fearful bathroom appallingly decorated with Aubrey Beardsley
designs. It is said that Gollancz bounced the book. It is
certain that, after all their parties, the decor of Malcolm
Edwards's and Chris Atkinson's bog is notorious...
### EXCITING, VIBRANT, LATE, BORING WORLDCON STUFF
That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons
Malcolm Edwards may send in the report ANSIBLE has long
awaited, but stuff that. Instead some bitlets from ...
COLIN FINE: "LA-Con II committee started as they were to go
on, by getting up people's noses. They kept to all their much-
trumpeted mottos but #2, `No standing in line.' Around 11am on
the Thursday the half-room in front of the registration tables
was so full of people milling about in search of the right
desk, they had to stop people coming in for a bit. Result: a
20-minute queue in about 100 heat. Lovely.
Queues returned on Sunday: at midnight they were showing the
Star Wars trilogy in a 1600-seat theatre, and somebody
panicked and put up a notice by registration, pointing out
that con membership didn't GUARANTEE admission to popular
items; registration gophers were instructed to repeat this to
each day-member they enrolled at a princely $35. Whether
because of this scaremongering or not, they were queueing for
the films before 6pm. Rumour has it that eventually only 1100
people slept sat through the trilogy, and received
long-service medals from the official SW fan club.
"The main way the concom upset people was by carelessly
allowing themselves to appear partisan over future bids. First
they apparently invited Atlanta in '86 to provide bags for
member's programme bumph, without extending any similar offer
to NY or Philly. When Britain in '87 turned up ready to man a
membership desk all day, rejected the Fan Lounge (tucked away
in an inaccessible corner... sound familiar?) as a venue, and
ask nicely for a table somewhere prominent, they let us use
one at the front of the huckster's room. Phoenix in '87
objected, apparently because they hadn't though of asking for-
and couldn't man-a table. LA-Cons's Solomonic solution was to
oust us and allow Phoenix a day in the same spot -- which they
did not take up. Instead we acquired a real paid-for table by
simply buying up (privately) a dealer's entire stock and
offering him a small sum for the tail-end of his table rent.
"About the same time we met the Phoenix people and struck up a
relationship culminating in the great '87 Bid Party on Sunday
night, which won the coveted `party of the Day' accolade in
the Monday newsletter: a triple party, Phoenix, us and LA (a
Westercon bid). Chris Atkinson spent the evening selling UK in
87 badges, and occasionally her body, to all comers...
"Membership was 9282; actually THERE were 8365, comprising
5823 pre-registered and 2542 walk-ins. Rumoured profits are
over $100,000, probably $150,000; rumouredly they broke even
in June and everything since is gravy, which they courageously
maximized by such financially responsible acts as refusing to
show the roomful of short films they'd already hired, as that
would need an extra projectionist. Another rumour; part of the
surplus will be used to refund memberships of those who put
most into the con... the 1986 Worldcon will be Confederation
in Atlanta, Georgia, Aug 28 to Sept 1, GoH Ray Bradbury FGoH
Terry Carr Toastmaster Bob Shaw. Membership rates until 1985:
$25 supp $35 att, further info from UK agent Colin Fine, 205
Coldham's Lane, Cambridge, CB1 3HY.
"LA's venue, the Anaheim Hilton and Towers, is a strange
hotel. The `Towers' is merely the 14th, ie. top, floor-
actually the 13th since though there's a floor numbered 13,
there isn't one numbered 10! long rambling corridors surround,
on floor 5, a pool and 2 `decks' of astroturf: many parties
were in 5th-floor suites opening onto the decks, so ultimately
there was just one giant party in the open under the stars,
the Disneyland fireworks and the Goodyear blimp.
"Shock recognition at the con was BRIAN BURGESS. Surprise
predicament was that of Duncan Lunan, who'd been flown out by
a symposium so incompetent that they only got him a single
flight and then went broke. He was desperately trying to sell
MAN AND THE PLANETS (at $17.95/copy) to raise his fare home.
"Hugos? Oh yeah, some books or other won them." (C FINE)
SOME BOOKS OR OTHER comprised David Brin's STARTIDE RISING
(novel), Timothy Zahn's `Cascade Point' (novella), Greg Bear's
`Blood Music' (novelette), Octavia Butler's `Speech Sounds'
(short), Donald Tuck's ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF SF AND FANTASY VOL 3
(nonfic), RETURN OF THE JEDI (film), Shawna McCarthy of IASFM
(editor), Michael Whelan (artist), LOCUS (semiprozine), File
770 (fanzine), Alexis Gilliland (fanartist), Mike Glyer
(fanwriter), R.A.MacAvoy (John W. `Not A Hugo' Campbell
Award). Censorship in its ugliest form occurred when -- Hugo
nominees having been asked for transparencies of themselves to
enliven the ceremony -- LA-Con bounced a pic of D.Langford,
requesting `one we can show in public, please.' Thus a boring
slide was hastily unearthed from the files, and thus Dave Wood
failed to gain an international audience for his tasteful
study of my Seacon nosebleed. Shame.
CHARLES PLATT evidently had a great time: "'Too large,' people
complained, referring not only to the attendees but the
environs: several halls the size of football fields, huge
concrete plazas across which fans toiled in baking heat, and
100-yard hotel corridors all combined to make it impossible to
meet friends except by appointment. The programme was
disappointingly sparse. California is the state richest in SF
writers, but few big names attended. Frank Herbert spent 2
hours signing books and promoting the Dune movie; he said the
soundtrack by the Viennese Symphony Orchestra was `at least as
compelling as the theme from JAWS' and claimed the $60M made
it the most expensive movie in history. The clip I saw looked
sort of shabby and dim, like an etching.
"Bradbury, van Vogt, Sturgeon and Heinlein didn't show.
Ellison appeared only to bestow a special plaque on one-time
SF editor Larry Shaw (who bought Harlan's first story).
Ellison's speech, read in collaboration with Bob Silverberg,
was unusually rich in hyperbole, and couched in the past
tense, making it hard to tell the recipient was alive. Shaw
appeared, in fact, to be dying of throat cancer, and was thus
mercifully unable to respond at length. The grim ritual came
midway through the Hugos, as if Ellison were sanctimoniously
reminding his audience of the Real Values in life.
"The Hugos drew half the crowd of the 3-hour costume parade.
Generally, the more serious the item, the smaller the
audience. A beautiful, authoritative slide-show by a JPL
physicist, documenting the Voyager mission past Jupiter and
Saturn, attracted a crowd of ten. By contrast, fans were
lining up to see the Star Wars trilogy hours before showtime,
playing cassettes of the movie theme to get themselves in the
right frame of mind. Those of us who have always felt
alienated from the outside world can now feel totally
alienated from worldcons, too. The huckster room was heavy on
t-shirts, badges, toys, memorabilia and food; light on books.
Hollywood studios contributed big media exhibits; I found the
8-foot model Nautilus from Disney's 20,000 LEAGUES the only
item with any real imaginative authority.
"Most enjoyable program moment for me was when Barry Bayley
won a `Japanese Hugo' for best translated English-language
novel. Most enjoyable evening activity was when Greg Benford
and his twin brother Jim led me in search of a rumoured
nitrous oxide party: `It's somewhere around here,' Greg said,
at which moment the loud hissing of a balloon being inflated
came clearly from behind one of the Hilton doors. Within, we
found four large tanks of nitrous and a dozen or so left-over
60s freaks in various stages of decomposition. `Always look
behind you before you fall over,' one of them told me -- sage
advice from one who knew." (C.PLATT)
### SQUIRMING MAGS
The section heading comes from CHEAP TRUTH, a vile piece of
samizdat rumoured to emanate from an anonymous INTERZONE 7
contributor at 809-C W 12th St, Austin, Texas 78701, USA. CT
covers SF mags like this: "_IASFM_ suffers from Dr Asimov's
own prolixity, for his prolificacy has now reached the
terminal stage and he can write any amount of anything about
nothing... ANALOG exudes the stale, mummylike odour of
attitudes preserved too long... brain and heart are in canopic
jars somewhere, while its contributors' word-processors spit
out copy on automatic pilot... _IZ_ has the finest editorial
ideology in the English-speaking world, bound cheek-by-jowl
with stories often riddled with conceit and void of substance.
Yet IZ sustains hope with bursts of appalling brilliance...
OMNI's `Boy Eats Own Foot' approach to science coverage makes
its reportage highly suspect... its power-mad art department
has earned an unpleasant notoriety. Stories are trimmed to fit
like styrofoam, occasionally without authorial consultation;
sometimes, incredibly, lines are even ADDED..." (CT7) An
earlier issue features a Swiftian Rhapsody on SF, which a
famous SF author living in Oxford would surely deny writing; I
passed this to Joe Nicholas for PAPERBACK INFERNO, but just a
few lines...
These failures clog the lists of DAW,
Del Ray, Ace Books, Avon and Tor,
Where copywriters gild their sins
With `Greater Tolkiens', `New LeGuins',
'Beats Arthur Clarke', `Equal to Niven'
-- As if that awful thought were Heaven! --
Or `Starrier Wars'... and Sturgeon there,
Here Budrys, `Masterpiece' declare,
'Not to be missed...' Such feeble lies
Support a feebler enterprise
Of Royalties at _4%_
Which scarcely serve to pay the rent... (CT6)
OMNI UK has appeared on the stands: advance rumours (such as
belatedly printed in MATRIX) hinted that the `re-launch' would
have 16 pages of British material bound into the same old US
edition. In fact the whole thing has more of a British look,
the `disposable' 16pp merely containing all the SF content.
"The emphasis is on the science side", explains editor Jon
Chambers... who may edit only one more issue (out 29 Nov),
since a searching ANSIBLE investigation discloses that
Sightline Publications Ltd, (a division of Northern & Shell,
owning FORUM and PENTHOUSE UK) has merely bought rights to
publish two trial issues of OMNI UK. Despite pious hopes of
"going monthly from early 1985", the outlook is currently
uncertain -- better not rush all your IZ rejections to PO Box
381, Mill Harbour, London, E14 9TW just yet, as #2 close on 12
Oct, two days after I was begged to rush in some reviews.
FTL MAGAZINE (New York): putative editor Greg Costikyan
announces this SF/games mag's "abortion" owing to a prolapsed
publication deal, and pleads for no more stories...
WHITE DWARF & IMAGINE, the UK role-playing game thingies,
persist with rumoured circulations of over 40,000 for WD, well
under 20,000 for I. The former shows signs of developing a
fiction policy, ie. publishing some; editor Jamie Thomson has
been replaced by one Jon Sutherland. "I see Jamie has decided
to call it a day after hearing about the Polaroid and the
goat," confides I editor Paul Cockburn, meanwhile bouncing a
Langford joke about religious attitudes to D&D ("We all
suffixed our mirth by saying `No, no... we daren't...'"), and
mentioning that 4500 words is as bloated and verbose a story
as can be for publication in IMAGINE.
STARLIGHT SF NEWS is that sort of `electronic ANSIBLE' which
has intermittently appeared on the Micronet 800 viewdata pages
(moving confusingly and inexplicably between pp 6006207 and
8006207 -- a Prestel cockup has lately filled the former slot
with a version exhumed from 1983, mentioning Asimov as GoH at
Seacon 84... oh the shame. Its intermittent status was largely
the result of communication problems, the electronic whizkids
of Micronet being incapable of anything so low-tech as writing
letters: a renaissance is hoped in the near future, and I may
be able to pay m*n*y to contributors. Meanwhile I find myself
connected to Prestel via bootleg hardware which conceals me
under the secret identity `Radio Kent' (brother of the more
famous Clark). I'm told I can receive electronic mail sent to
the `address' 733 631 000. Um well.
NOVA SF, the major Swedish mag, has acquired a managing
Editor, writes co-Boss Editor, John-Henri Holmberg: "lacking
anybody else with even a minimum of editing experience or
spelling ability, we had to settle for Ahrvid Engholm." Rush
your submissions (Ahrvid recommends sending traditional hard
SF, or well-known prose with subtlety/emotion) to
Palsundsgatan 1 A, S-117 31 Stockholm, for marvellously
tactful rejections. John-Henri: "I rather liked it and have
passed it on to our new managing Editor." Ahrvid: "John-Henri
tossed a small paper plane in my direction, which when I
unfolded it proved to be a story by you that he wanted me to
reject."
INTERZONE has had an editorial reshuffle, with J.Clute,
A.Dorey and R.Kaveney (the latter already absent from the IZ9
masthead) `promoted upstairs' as advisers, C.Greenland,
S.Ounsley and D.Pringle as co-editors proper, A.Frost news
editor as well as designer, and newcomers Judith Hanna and
Lindsey Morris conscripted as `assistant editors' -- their
brains becoming cannon-fodder on suicide missions into the
uncharted slushpile. An INTERZONE ANTHOLOGY appears in Dent
trade-paperback next April -- 12 stories from issues 1-9 plus
a new, long outbreak from Geoff Ryman. Added publicity for IZ
was provided when Pseud's Corner (PRIVATE EYE) published
J.G.Ballard's belief in adolescent women's pudenda (see IZ8)
-- I was glad to help out, folks, no trouble at all.
TO THE STARS, or more properly L.RON HUBBARD'S TO THE STARS,
was launched at LA-Con (my invitation to the party came two
days beforehand, but even with this generous margin I failed
to make it). It is a "NEWS, REVIEWS & COMMENTARY magazine of
the SCIENCE FICTION -- AND ALL RELATED -- field of interest!"
(sic)... Methuselah Press, 3963 Wilshire Blvd #142, Los
Angeles, CA 90010, USA. No fiction, apparently, except winners
of the Hubbard Skiffy Comp which despite A39 remains open (all
Fred Harris's fault for not sending further details as
promised): new -- no more than 3 shorts published -- writers
can rush in stuff up to 17000 words until the final quarterly
deadline 30-6-85; only one entry/quarter; authors name on
covering sheet but not on MS proper; address 2210 Wilshire
Blvd #343, Santa Monica, CA 90403; prizes zero to $1000.
FANTASY BOOK, the new version, has turned up for review. Parts
are quite good, though I can live without stuff like YET
ANOTHER po-faced Lovecraft pastiche from Brian Lumley (part 3
of a serial, yet). No foreign sub rates quoted; it's imported
by the usual shops with #2 on the cover. Fiction rates 2 1/2 -
4 cents/word. Needs fewer fantasy cliches, more risk-taking.
Ed. Nick Smith, PO Box 60126, Pasadena, CA 91106, USA.
FORTEAN TIMES, edited from East Ham by former fan Bob Rickard,
is getting computerized with an IBM PC... or maybe not. "I've
discovered 3000 subjects so far, and I'm only up to C,"
confessed BR as he discovered commercial database programs to
be unable to cope with his "millions of new clippings" about
rains of frogs, blood, crabs and small portions of Richard
Bergeron's brain (among other arcane phenomena).
PETER NICHOLLS NEWS! At long last the dispute between PN (also
D.Langford & B.Stableford) and Roxby Press, regarding the lack
of money from THE SCIENCE IN SF, has come to a suitably messy
lack of conclusion. Old-time readers may dimly recall that RP
deducted some #46000 from the gross receipts before
calculating royalties, thus enabling the authors to subsidize
the cost of printing the book. The PN/RP contract is a
shambles (leading to PN's later sacking of his then agents).
Our Peter has now obtained Counsel's opinion to the effect
that (a) there would be an 80% chance of getting RP to cough
up via a High Court case; (b) however, if PN/DL/BS lost the
case, costs of up to #15000 might have to be paid; (c) the few
thousand involved is unfortunately too much to chase through
the Small Claims Court. This will be absolutely wonderful news
for all publishers.
Peter writes: "THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF FANTASY, companion to the
ENC. OF SF, has awoken from is 3 1/2 year slumber and is
sending out tendrils of new growth. It will be edited by
myself and Clute, and Granada are considering it v.seriously
right now. Even if they cannot find a US co-publisher the
project will not die, because Clare, Clute & I will probably
set up a small packaging company and do it ourselves, selling
to Granada here and to whatever intelligent American finally
wants it over there... Apropos of all this, you may also
report that Maxim Jakubowski has, in recent months, been
writing to every semi-prozine in the USA telling them that HE
is doing an Encyclopaedia of Fantasy (with Allen & Unwin),
designed to be a companion volume to Nicholls's ENCYCLOPAEDIA
OF SF. Jakubowski is a cretin, and has no right to make claims
of this sort without prior consultation with either Nicholls
or Granada... Love and kisses..." (PN, 27 Aug)
Maxim was last seen at packagers Rainbird, commissioning books
in all directions (like a Georgette Heyer Companion by Garry
Kilworth, the mind spungs) and clutching the typescript of THE
HELLICONIA ENCYCLOPAEDIA, which Mr Aldiss hopes will do for
the trilogy what Eliot's notes did for THE WASTE LAND.
### COME TO SUNNY MILFORD :: PAUL KINCAID
The Compton Hotel is a small, comfortable hotel in the
salubrious south coast resort of Milford-on-Sea; an ideal
setting for a quiet, relaxing break. Wander country lanes to
the sea, enjoying splendid views of the Isle of Wight. Lounge
by the pool, play pool or table-tennis in the games room.
Regular guests are quiet and you'll find it easy to unwind in
their company, or join in the regular games and
entertainments. Pat and Dom Emberson, our hosts, will make you
welcome with delicious cuisine and a well-stocked bar. All in
all, you are sure to leave Milford feeling rested and
refreshed.
More accurately -- come along to the Milford SF Writer's
Workshop. A somewhat shortened Milford this year, taking place
over the weekend of 28 Sept -- 1 Oct. And with just nine
sacrificial [X'ed out] attendees.
The Compton is inconveniently situated for the train -- four
miles from the nearest station, in New Milton, or further
still for Lisa Tuttle. Travelling on the last train of Friday
night, Lisa got the New Milton only to find all the doors of
her carriage locked. After a few tantalizing moments in the
station she was carried off willy-nilly to Bournemouth, where
a ticket collector scratched his head and said wonderingly,
"Yes, we've had a few complaints about that." People in the
know might suspect that Lisa's story was an elaborate excuse
to avoid a lift from David Garnett, whose car appears to have
been cobbled together years ago from rusting fragments found
on a scrap heap by someone who didn't really know what cars
are supposed to be like. That is still runs must be counted as
one of the wonders of modern science. They built 'em to last
in 1954.
A warm welcome is guaranteed -- provided there's actually
anybody there to welcome you. I arrived feeling very hungry
and more than a little damp. The hotel looked deserted. I rang
the bell, knocked on the door: no answer. I checked my
invitation to see if I'd got the right place and the right
date. I had. Included was a dadaistic map showing the hotel
and a pub down the road where, I assumed, Milforders tended to
congregate on the first night. So I repaired there for a drink
and a meal, but found no sign of my fellow workshoppers.
Returning, I found the hotel still devoid of life, until
eventually a shamefaced Langford (with Hazel in tow) appeared.
"Oh, er, sorry boss. You been waiting long?" Pat and Don, it
appeared, had gone out to frivol; the Milforders had shifted
to a pub not listed on the Langford map...
Saturday appeared bright and sunny enough for group exercise
-- a route march along muddy lanes to within a stone's throw
of the sea. At least Mary Gentle threw stones at it; then
agonized over whether she'd hurt it or not. This walk was an
aberration; our most strenuous later exercise consisted of
helping ourselves to drinks from the bar, and playing unending
games of pool. Mary and I regularly stayed up into the early
hours, each totally incapable of beating the other at this
silly game. Decorum was maintained throughout, with cues only
occasionally broken over the opponent's head and language
restrained to near-publishable levels.
Otherwise... mornings were spent feverishly trying to read a
six-inch pile of manuscripts, and afternoons in tearing these
manuscripts to bits. One should not minimize the tremendous
generosity shown by everybody at Milford. They would dispense
their sharpest criticisms lavishly and with great bounty,
never letting their smiles fade throughout this strenuous
attention that was surely beyond the call of duty. Between
such bouts of intense intellectual activity, Geoff Ryman kept
us entertained for hours with colourful descriptions of the
grosser aspects of plastic surgery, while Peter Beere proved
expert in various country practices involving sheep. Lisa
Tuttle did her famous imitation of a big-mouth frog; Colin
Greenland kept up the charade all weekend, croaking piteously
as his voice gradually faded to nothing.
Speaking of charades, a game did develop on Sunday night,
after an especially good and well-lubricated banquet laid on
by the hotel. Garry Kilworth proved remarkably adept at
thinking up titles like CONFESSIONS OF A JUSTIFIED SINNER,
while Geoff Ryman's performance of THE HOUSE AT POOH CORNER
should be preserved in a thespian hall of fame. Elsewhere, a
no-holds-barred, bare-fisted game of scrabble erupted in
furious controversy over Dave Langford's spelling of `jism'.
Speaking of bodily fluids, David G. had arrived in apparent
rubicund health to announce that he had a cold. With
remarkable open-handedness, he proceeded to share his good
fortune. Thus, on Monday morning, as we slowly emerged bleary-
eyed and hungover, many of us had this extra souvenir of our
visit to take home. (Other, equally welcome souvenirs included
the unfortunately ineradicable memories of G.Kilworth's jokes.
It was Mr Garnett who contributed the most harrowingly
memorable scene in any story, a detailed yet inadvertent
description of a flasher in what was SUPPOSED to be a space-
opera for kids... DRL)
In truth though, it was a marvellously stimulating and
enjoyable weekend, one of the best I've had, and I can only
hope I'll be invited back next year (please!). I also hope for
a return to the week-long format. A weekend that good,
extended over a full week, would be worth experiencing. (PK)
### CASSANDRA WORKSHOP 1984 :: CHARLES STROSS
So where were the slavering publishers, waiting to snap up
first serial rights to the masterpieces served up at this
workshop? It began quietly, as one by two the hesitant writers
appeared in the door of the hotel bar. There, these exotic,
unknown beings from alien locations who wrote such particular
things were snorkelling _la!ger_ and _ci'de'r_ and such
esoteric brews through their appendages. Ian Watson appeared
quire smug, possibly due to Gollancz's decision to feed him
better in return for more volumes of THE BOOK OF THE RIVER.
Dave Clements considered translating his contribution from the
American for those of us who live on this side of the great
undrinkable. Sue Thomason caused controversy by her absence
due to lurgi (shall we or shall we not wait till closing
time?)... aggravated next day when, in the quiet and
dignified Westone Hotel conference room (grovels -- we may
need it again), it was agreed that her piece was worthy of
good publicity -- the kind with royalties attached.
Saturday passed without anyone quite crawling through the door
whilst trying to stem the flow from the jugular. It wasn't as
self-congratulatory as it might have been; no one escaped some
degree of red pencil, though couple were told by Ian in no
uncertain terms to "get it off to ----" (fill in your
favourite mag here). The event hinged on guru Ian's presence;
his criticisms were detailed, effective and helpful; we all
owe him. Sunday morning passed in a haze of discussions on how
to grab publishers by the throat and suck them dry (thank you,
Dr Acula, for your keynote lecture), on the basis of which I
predict a boom in SFWA (UK) memberships within the next few
months. A good time was had by all, including the obligatory
INTERZONE-bashing session: most of us had collected bloody
ones (rejection slips, that is) from that worthy organ of the
New Wave establishment... hence our presence at Cassandra.
Next year -- see you there? (CS)
IAN WATSON elucidates: "The first Cassandra SF workshop was
held in Northampton, 24-26 Aug, in the idyllic surroundings of
the Westone Moat House which laid on endless hot coffee, and
notepads, while innumerable RAF officers held wedding
receptions on the lawns outside. Ace organizer Bernard Smith
ensured the workshop went instantly into top gear by
distributing copies of everything beforehand. The world's
forests should beware of Charles Stross, who submitted a
highly saleable story and turned up with 2 awesome-looking
novels apparently written in the previous 3 weeks and about to
become trilogies. Simon Ings was commanded to transform his
story into a portion & outline for the US fantasy editors.
Stephen Bowkett confided he'd just sold a children's fantasy
to Gollancz; so modestly did he confide that most present did
not hear. Dave Clements & Jim England cautiously flashed the
guilty secrets of their earlier Hale novels at each other,
like secret agents comparing the halves of a torn-up fiver.
Brains were set on fire that weekend; enthusiastic demands to
hold another workshop mere weeks later were, in the end,
trounced by sanity; the next Cassandra workshop will occur
next August bank holiday. Bernard was urged to transform
CASSANDRA magazine into a full-scale commercial venture,
perhaps funded from the excess profits of a convention he
could organize in Northampton. Naughty things were said by
many participants about INTERZONE, to the amazement of the
Chairperson, who remained nobly impartial throughout." (IW)
RAMSEY CAMPBELL: "From the press handout of CHILDREN OF THE
CORN, produced by Terry Kirby, directed by Fritz Kiersch:
`During the filming of STEPHEN KING'S CHILDREN OF THE CORN,
Kiersch and Kirby made judicious use of cameras.' Who knows,
it may even catch on." (RC) [Which brings us to closing
credits for John `E-Stencils' Harvey and Jim `UK87 Logo'
Barker.]
### EDITORIAL
The results of our latest in-depth readership survey were that
(a) no one else should (or wants to) take over ANSIBLE, which
is OK by me provided you (meaning everyone but Abigail) can
cope with the irregular schedule; (b) a massive majority of
over 400 subscribers did not care to vote in the 1983/4 Poll
-- owing to apathy, inability to cope with the enormous
intellectual effort of preparing a bit of paper, or conviction
that the relevant period was too long ago for memory (or too
dull for attention). Interestingly, the pitiful scatter of
votes hinted at an overthrow of the boring old names --
including me, thank goodness -- and acknowledgement of the New
talent. Another couple of dozen votes and the thing may be
worth printing; otherwise it looks like bye-bye till 1985.
Your cue. (See A39.)
### CONS
MEXICON 2 has been having trouble finding suitable and
affordable hotels -- hence its postponement to a tentative Feb
1986. "We couldn't even afford one DAY at the last place we
tried," groaned Greg Pickersgill, adding that hotel managers
had readily confessed that (a) if they didn't get Mexicon
they'd have an empty hotel and lose money, but (b) they still
wouldn't reduce their charges in the slightest. "Weird,"
commented Ealing's guru. Official press releases promised
soon; meanwhile, until '85, registration is #6 to Mexicon at
24a Beech Rd, Bowles Pk, London NW11 2DA. AUSSIECON II:
Chairman John Foyster has fled (family problems), replaced by
David Grigg, with Carey Handfield as the Deputy Chair...
CAMCON 85 should be the 6th Unicon, in Cambridge; the
Committee is reportedly still searching Mexicon-style for an
affordable and unbooked college venue. #1 presupp ("returned
if no con possible") to 63 Drake Rd, Chessington, Surrey, KT9
1LQ... SF FOUNDATION AGM on 15 Nov!! (Control yourselves)...
EUROPEAN TREK CONVENTIE (see A39): Maureen Porter passes on a
partially coherent note from the con's organizer, explaining
that it won't take place on 2-4 Nov 84 but 1-3 Nov next
year... YUGOSLAVIA is dead keen to host a Worldcon at the end
of the decade, says Ian Watson, adding that they need a UK
agent. Mastermind Miha Granda, Vrajema 5, 61000 Ljubljana,
Yug. (tel 061-443-629)... YORCON III surges onward (5-8 April
85) with no more than the usual appalling rumours of events at
committee meetings. Surely there can be no truth in the story
that chairman-in-all-but-name Graham Jones remarked that the
only good thing about the con would be the fan room; that Alan
Ferguson queried this remark, coming as it did from the person
organizing the main programme; that GJ wittily riposted by
seizing AF and starting to drag him from the room with cried
of "You've been getting at me all this meeting, we're going to
settle this outside"; that the remainder of the committee gave
a remarkable Still Life performance for some seconds until
Arnold Akien stood to remonstrate with GJ; that GJ, pausing
only for brief abuse (You're just a joke in fandom, Akien!")
burst out the room to sulk; that several committee members
then resigned, one (Pete Lyon) for the second time, but were
coaxed back in the interests of Total Committee Unity and
Cosmic Harmony; that... but enough of these evident smears
which have reached me. Yorcon is no doubt strong and vital...
SPACE-EX 84, that huge but shifty event, proved not to be
strong and vital (ANSIBLE editor represses cry of "I told you
so!"). Ace reporter Marcus Rowland turned up on the supposed
first day, 6 Aug, to find at the Westminster Central Hall a
sigh saying SPACE-EX IS CANCELLED. Investigator D.M.Sherwood
reports that the event was moved to Bank Holiday weekend (in a
blaze on non-publicity): "Hall managers were a bit dodgy about
letting Mike Parry (De Boss) have the place for a week on the
slate but were persuaded to OK 3 days (fools). This was
decided about a week before the old date. Set decorations
weren't finished at beginning of Aug; of course they weren't
paid for. P ordered 50 uniforms for Starship Ushers (gophers),
all the same size, to be paid for out of profits (!). Just
about all GoHs dropped out. Other P.stories: the time he sold
carpets and furniture from under his 7 kiddies' feet to
finance a previous con; the time he organized a quiet buffet
for about 100 and 35 came, so he had to accost startled
passers-by in the street and tout 1/2-price tickets; the time
he [etc, etc]..." (DMS)
### INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
THE LAST DANGEROUS VISIONS: "Harlan is claiming that he'll
have the MS in to his publishers in October; all he has to do
is pry in the last purchased story. bought over Worldcon
weekend from non-attending Steven Bryan Bieler (c)..." (Thus
Jerry Kaufmann, who adds:) "Tell C.Atkinson I have a horrible
picture of her from the Brit in 87 party, in which she looks
sour, suspicious and hostile. Did I capture the true
Atkinson?"... FANTASYCON AWARDS: Peter Straub's FLOATING
DRAGON (novel), Karl Edward Wagner's `Neither Brute Nor Human'
(short), Ro Pardoe's GHOSTS AND SCHOLARS (small press), Rowena
Morrill (Artist), VIDEODROME (film), Don and Elsie Wollheim
(having been around a long time). At the con an outraged
Tanith Lee demanded that the vile Neil Gaiman be cast out onto
the street for general malpractice: he got his comeuppance at
an Unwin launch party where to his disgust he learnt that
several fans thought his KNAVE bits were by D.Langford (perish
the thought). "Such an obvious _pseudonym_, after all," said
Colin Greenland sweetly... ROB HOLDSTOCK SHAVES OFF BEARD!
(What d'you mean, "is that all?" When Frank Herbert shaves off
his beard he gets front-page coverage in LOCUS -- isn't our
Rob news too? Oh)... CHEAP PRINTING, or rather photocopying
(up to A3 size) is offered to fans by Mike Costello, who
eagerly awaits your SAEs-for details at 17 Langbank Ave, Rise
Park, Nottingham, NG5 5BU... APAs: The blight continues to
spread, its latest outbreak being provisionally titled DA
ORGANIZATION, run by Stan Eling at 124 Galton Rd, Smethwick,
Warley, Birmingham. In reaction the Astral League has
announced APA ASTRAL: THESE SOCALLED APAS ARE NOT
IDEOLOGICALLY SOUND... THE ASTRAL LEAUGE WILL TAKE MEASURES.
You are advised hereby for the final time not to take notice
of any except APA ASTRAL. This is FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. In other
APAs it is all trivial like whether Tedy Bears have feelings
or if rubber is bad for the skin but in APA ASTRAL it is more
COSMIC which is IMPORTANT." 50p to the usual address. By the
way, D.West appears to have landed a job as part-time
librarian and bought a suit. He's in the children's section.
Please close your eyes for one moment and imagine this...
FOLIES BERGERON: the biggest downer of 80s fandom, for me, has
been Richard Bergeron's* incredible, vindictive accusation
that Avedon Carol fiddled TAFF in favour of a Welsh
boyfriend. In RB's weird world, the statement that D.West's
domino games are a boring spectator sport ranks as crafty
poisoning of voter's minds against dynamic extrovert D.: and
so on, and on. I can't cope... TAFF ballots will circulate at
Novacon etc: Patrick and Teresa Nielsen Hayden vs. Rich Coad,
victor(s) travelling to Yorcon III, deadline end '84, more
from Hansen, 9a Greenleaf Rd, East Ham, E6 1DX. SEFF (to
Swecon, Aug 85) looks like Steve Green vs Hans-Jurgen Mader,
nominations (to C.Fine or A.Engholm, addresses elsewhere)
close 1 Dec... BOOKER HORROR! J.G.Ballard's failure to win (I
hope not because the judges reacted against media enthusiasm
for JGB, or his `shady SF background') was the big news,
eclipsing the actual winner -- Anita Brookner's HOTEL DU
LAC... TROUTMANIA: in the afterglow of Albacon 84, the Glasgow
mob has been speaking expansively of bidding for a Eurocon, a
Novacon (!), a Worldcon... UPDATES: instead of the $1M+
rumoured in A39, Clarke flogged his next 2 novels for $1.10
(10 cents for SONGS OF DISTANT EARTH, $1 for 20,001: THE FINAL
-- you should be so lucky -- ODYSSEY), anticipating colossal
royalties. His reaction to his success in getting USSR editor
V.Zakharchenko sacked (he serialized 2010 and failed to notice
that ALL Russian characters are named for dissidents) is not
known... CITADEL OF THE AUTARCH won the JWC memorial award...
TO THE STARS will carry fiction despite preliminary ads.
(SFC)... BRITAIN IN 87 pre-supports well over 600 and rising
steeply... BIRTHS/MARRIAGES/DEATHS: Babies have emanated from
Pat (& Graham) Charnock -- Daniel, b. 14 Oct -- and Helen (&
Mike) McNabb -- Nicol, b. 17 July. Further ones are expected
from Kath Mitchell (& Leroy Kettle: they got married on 20 Oct
to celebrate, with J.Brosnan officiating as best man with his
usual tact and taste, and a rare sighting of Peter Roberts)
and Faith Brooker -- hers and Chris Evans's is bound to be
fannish, the words "conceived at Mexicon" being on many
lips... Deaths were many, especially in medialand (cf. Richard
Burtons' posthumous appearance in 1984): most notable SF-
linked obits are Walter Tevis, Aug 10, and J.B.Priestly, Aug
14... GREG BENFORD rang on 18 Oct to say he was in Britain,
had just been in Moscow and was about to be in California...
Judy Lawrence has been trying to flog something called THE
TABBY TAROT, intended to lure fans of both cabbala and cats...
Geoff Ryman topped the INTERZONE reader's poll with `The
Unconquered Country', to appear ere long in book form.
(Wonderful mag, they've bought one of my stories at last. THE
PLAIN PEOPLE OF MORETON PINKNEY: H'm, sold out, have you?")...
R.I.BARYCZ reports on the film of Bongyear's `Enemy Mine':
"Wolfgang (NEVERENDING STORY) Petersen into the director's
chair with enough clout to junk several megabucks' worth of
film already shot. Now there is not only going to be your
noble Earth Pilot & your alien in a rubber suit crash-landed,
but also a young woman pilot AND (wait for it) a little boy...
SPACE VAMPIRES now known as LIFEFORCE & scheduled for June 85
release. Feeble title. Something tells me it will end up as
SPACE VAMPIRES by then... BUG JACK BARRON apparently to be
made as a mundane, not SF, flick -- sort of Russell Harty with
more teeth & charisma -- as Costa Gavras doesn't want to do
skiffy. THE STARS MY DESTINATION (Bester) definitely set for
Sept 85 starts at Elstree on $30M budget!" (RIB)... TRUFAN =
"dedicated fan of STAR TREK", says R.Green's NEWSPEAK...
=============================================================
*Hazel's Language Lessons #31: Swahili
HATINAFSI (n.) used of a person taking an action without
consulting anybody because he thinks they may try to persuade
him not to do it.
ANSIBLE 40: Dave Langford, 94 London Road, Reading, Berks, RG1
5AU, ENGLAND
[Ends]
ANSIBLE 41, 1984: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE is a bit
of history. Addresses may have changed (though the editor's
postal address hasn't), prices and agents' credits are
invalid, etc.
This issue was produced in my BWP or Before-Word-Processors
era and lovingly rekeyed for the archives by PAT McMURRAY ...
to whom many thanks!
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1994.
===========================================================
ANSIBLE 41 confronts the impending horrors of 1985, but not
with any great effect. Still in charge: DAVE LANGFORD of 94
LONDON RD, READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU, England. Predictions
of grossly inflationary subscription increases are borne out
by our NEW RATES: _5_ issues for #2.00 sterling. Notes to me,
cheques/money orders to ANSIBLE, Girobank transfer to a/c 24
475 4403, $3.50 US to agents Mary & Bill Burns, 23 Kensington
Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550. The mysterious silence of Leigh
Edmonds has delayed plans for a handy Aussie subscription rate
& local address (anyone else interested?). Cartoon by ATOM,
mailing labels lovingly hand-crafted on vellum by KEITH
FREEMAN, last issue's collation by Chris Hughes and Andrew
Stephenson -- not to mention the debut of FANG the electric
stapler. Mailing label explanation: let's face it, no one ever
understands or reads this bit, but the secret is to SEND MONEY
unless your label says TRADE or features a number higher than
41. Date: December 1984.
*** THE SMALL PRINT: BRIAN STABLEFORD is looking for
cheap copies of his sf novel THE WALKING SHADOW (which did so
well as to sell out completely in 7 weeks, wherupon Fontana
declined to reprint) and is interested in hearing form you at
113, St Peter's Rd, Reading, Berks, RG6 1PG. HORST G. TROSTER
of Escherscheimer Landstr 319, D-6000 Frankfurt/M 1, W Germany,
is eager to contact anyone with tapes of the original Hitch-
Hiker series with a view to p*r*cy/purchase/swap.
*** HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS are real and come from real
dictionaries (to assure new subscribers who've expressed
Doubt). Andy Richards sends background from PAGES FROM THE
BOOK OF III: A PRYDAIN GLOSSARY (TK Graphics)... `HAZEL NUTS
OF WISDOM. These remarkable nuts, which enabled the eater to
understand the language of animals, grew on only one hazel
tree in Prydain...' No comment from Hazel. [ISSN 0265-9816]
===========================================================
NOVACON 14 :: BIRMINGHAM 9-12 Nov 1984
One awesome fact loomed above all others at Novacon, and that
was guest of honour Rob Holdstock's imminent change of address
to 54 RALEIGH ROAD, LONDON, N.8, phone 01-348-5727. ("I'm
famous," he said. "I want a big PROMINENT CoA notice, none of
your mingy little duplicated bits at the back." OK, boss.)
Convention sensawonder began for us in a semi-infinite,
rain-lashed NEC car park. "We're late for our Contravention
meeting at the exhibition hotel!" shrieked Chris Hughes,
hurling Hazel and me dextrously from his car and rattling off
with Jan to plot the future of Eastercons. Several monsoon
seasons later we found a station, a train, Birmingham, the
Grand Hotel and a closed bar (in that order). The venue change
from the Royal Angus freshened the con no end, with so many
more rooms in which to see the programme not happening;
layout was particularly eldritch, inexplicable flights of
stairs in mid-corridor and a behind-the-scenes labyrinth
recalling THE NAME OF THE ROSE, One hoped short cut between
floors led me after many adventures to a forbidden balcony
full of lighting gear, overlooking the main hall.
Merciful oblivion surrounds my Saturday morning blither,
misdrafted on Wednesday while Steve Higgins duplicated
millions of fanzines mere inches from the back of my neck; it
was, by request, all about THE LEAKY ESTABLISHMENT and the
jokes are far too classified to quote. Later, R.Holdstock
confronted me: "You BASTARD," he said. "I hear your talk was
so good, my GoH speech is going to be a pathetic anticlimax.
I'll GET you for this..." John Brosnan, it seemed, had been
cheering Rob with not wholly sincere reports of 10 minute
standing ovations -- I should be so lucky. Rob's speech I
rather liked; it moved from nervous fannish jokes (and
declarations of true lust for Jan Huxley) to a thesis on
Arthurian Myth In The Novels Of Robert P.Holdstock. A few
fans' minds proved insufficiently cosmic to cope with both. I
contrived to miss the `Krapton Factor' game and never
discovered the nature of its dreaded food assault course (when
questioned, those in the know turned delicate avocado-colour
and clapped hands over their mouths). An art auction saw
staggeringly colossal bids, enough to make my bank manager put
on the black cap, while Pete Lyon's tatty con-clothes began
somehow to look like the affectation of an eccentric
millionaire. Chuck Harris, surprise revenant fan of the con,
was heard to ask the cost of paint-by-numbers kits.
Most soothing party: Beccon's, whose olde-worlde
atmosphere revived the dying art of party chat. Most street-
credible: Mexicon's, of course, with its merciless right-and-
left assault of Disaster Area rock music and Agent Orange
punch. (I stopped being street credible a while ago.) Best
Rumour: that Bob (fake) Shaw, whose book trade is said to have
diversified into porn, had arrived on his motorbike for a
Novacon at the usual time and place: several hundred yards
away and a week before. This, as a ghastly example of what
happens when you let your ANSIBLE subscription lapse, went
straight into the Too Good To Check pigeonhole.
Linda Strickler James took me warmly by the throat and
explained that last issue I'd been naughty, chiefly by failing
to realize her Yorcon II rank of `co-ordinator' is what in
lesser cons would be called `chair'. Mike Sherwood confided
that Space-Ex 84's revised August Bank Holiday date was
cancelled with seconds to spare, that 40 of several thousand
expected fans turned up, and that the whole debacle was now
`put forward' to 1986 -- oh God! Bob Shaw said he'd never buy
a word processor, even as Chris Priest, far off in America,
was slowly succumbing (after years of denouncing the vile
machines he's bought himself an Apricot). Barry Bayley said he
never worried about being remaindered, and had some more
drinks while I gnashed my teeth over Arrow's perfidy (the
usual: SPACE EATER remaindered, without warning, in breach of
contract, and newish Arrow MD Nick Webb thinks he can smooth
it over with a flabby apology -- ha!).
The closing ceremony was weird. Nova awards went to Dave
Wood's XYSTER as best fanzine (runners-up THIS NEVER HAPPENS
and FOR PARANOIDS ONLY), D.West as fanartist (2nd Atom, 3rd
Margaret Welbank) and Anne Warren as fanwriter (2nd me, 3rd
tied between Mal Ashworth & Nigel Richardson). It was evident
that of possible voting blocs feared by paranoids -- born-
again 50s fans, 70s elitists, apas, women -- ALL had
successfully manipulated the award! Huge cheers greeted the
Concrete Overcoat Fan Fund presentation; detailed voting
figures would appear here had proprietor Kev Clarke sent them.
The Big 3, says my notebook, were Ian Sorensen (73 votes),
Novacon chair Steve Green (100) and, winner with 149, Richard
Bergeron. Puerto Rico being far away, Rob Hansen accepted the
trophy on Richard's behalf, not without the shadow of some
emotion passing over his face. Then -- controversy! Rob
Holdstock having often told the committee that as GoH he
wished to be fawned on by bevies of naked dancing girls, they
took him approximately at his word and hired a `kissogram'
greeting -- only for a rumoured Hidden Hand to pay the extra
#60 for a `strippogram'. The Holdstock grin froze as things
jiggled in front of it. Bob Shaw wailed his regret at having
missed it all; others were less keen, and protests both verbal
and written were duly delivered to the committee (doubtless
very properly, though Hazel and I had the rebellious thought
that when public breastfeeding and the odd bare bosom in the
Fancy Dress are seemingly OK, it seemed a trifle much to
express huge horror that `_children_ should be subjected to
the display'. Hell, she kept her g-string on...). Subsequently
one committee member dropped out of fandom, while Steve Green
says he'll attend no more big cons except --
NOVACON 15 passes into the hands of Phill Probert and
will cost you #7, to 32 Digby House, Colletts Grove,
Kingshurst, Birmingham, B37 6JE. I rather look forward to
returning to the Grand, where we had a hell of a good time.
FRANKIE COMES FROM HOLLYWOOD :: NEIL GAIMAN
Frank Herbert turned up for a brief press conference on the
DUNE debacle -- er, film -- a few weeks ago. There were only
two people there who had actually read anything he'd written
-- myself, and a bald journalist in a shabby mac (yes, I know
that describes most of them) who tended to ask magnificent
questions like "I read DUNE the first time it came out and
the thing that struck me then as indeed it seems to have
struck most of the reading populace is that it's a great
story, a wonderful story, I thought the way it unfolded, the
way it was sustained, there was so much imagination involved
in it. Later on as the years went on, I suppose people have
read things into it, I suppose the same thing happened with
LORD OF THE RINGS and lots of other things. The whole SF
genre in general... I'm sorry I shall get to the question...
is entertainment still your first priority, Mr Herbert?"
Herbert: I'd feel a helluva lot more comfortable if you'd
call me Frank, guys.
Bald Journalist In Mac who Woffled: Er, thank you, er,
Frank...
Herbert: Yes it is. Next question?
... etc, etc. Mainly he said what a nice, good, great,
magnificent, marvellous, fab, cool, groovy, hip, zowie-gosh
film DUNE was. He also answered questions like, "As a science
fiction writer, people will of course assume you are a weirdo
who believes in UFOs?"
Herbert: Well, I do believe in UFOs -- unidentified
flying objects. Please don't hear that as anything else.
Reporter: No, no, of course, understood, yes. Do you get
a lot of people giggling at you because of your beliefs, being
seen as a crank etc? [Visions of I HAVE SEEN THE SAUCER PEOPLE
SAYS DUNE MAN headlines leaping about him.]
Herbert: I don't think you entirely understood me...
It might have been a livelier time if ANYBODY there had
seen the film, but since it still hadn't been previewed a
scant month before release date... (I think they're scared.
Preview is 2 days before it goes on release!) (NG)
AMAZING LITERARY REVELATIONS FROM THE USUAL MOLES
BRIAN ALDISS: "Germany has just phoned to say I have won the
Lasswitz award for Best Foreign Novel of `83 (HELLICONIA
SPRING). The Lasswitz is the Booker Prize of Westphalia, by
the way... It would have cheered you to be at the Priest pad
for Halloween, where a number of magical realists told spine-
chilling and gonad-warming ghost stories." (BA)
JOHN BROSNAN: "Bob Shaw isn't the only one to have a
`spontaneous combustion' book coming out from Granada in
paperback. My own -- now called, I think, TORCHED! after
originally being called SIZZLE, then THE SEARING -- will be
leaving a fiery trail through the publishing firmament in
mid-85. It's very different from Bob's, being a sleazy
exploitation job with which I'm quite pleased. It will give a
whole new meaning to the term `hot flushes'... Isn't it time
you gave a plug to the sterling efforts of Harry Adam Knight,
especially as his 3rd book will be out by your next issue? It
is, of course called THE FUNGUS and is so disgusting that two
copyeditors at Star had to be hospitalized while working on
it. [So far I've been lucky and received no review copies of
any HAK books. Nor invitations to the sumptuous launch
parties. DRL]
"Sad news from STARBURST mag -- editor Alan McKenzie has
had enough and has resigned. The management threaten to
change STARBURST's format and make it `more juvenile'. No
need for obvious jokes like `How?' -- countless others have
got there before you. But seriously, such a change will mean
an end of the few intellectual bits of the mag -- Chris
Evans's book review section and my column, for example. The
management are waiting to see how the special GHOSTBUSTERS
and GREMLINS issues do before their final decision. Even if
they don't change the format they insist future issues will be
in much `larger type'. A sign of the times. [Chris Evans since
tells me he's got in with a pre-emptive resignation: D]
"And now a gem for your collection of Great Moments From
The Slushpile, from an Australian MS I was sent to read. `He
gasped. "I've never seen anything like this. Even remotely.
What's its form of space propulsion?" / "Yes," he said eagerly
as he activated his sensor converter. / "From what I've been
told, I think it will somehow overcome the laws binding the
dimensions together, up to the sixth. And then, using a mix of
gravity and anti-gravity, a controlled space whirlpool with
the power of the big bang is formed. But in a tight beam so
that only the ship which is enveloped in a special negative
dimensional field, is sucked into the vortex." / "You've
explained that quite well, Trisha," Jesse complemented [sic]
as he walked towards the awesome ship.'
"From the same MS, a classic line: `She was a fish out of
water in a man's arms.' Aren't we all?" [John Brosnan -- who's
only half the man Harry Adam Knight is.]
MALCOLM EDWARDS: "I'd love to think that our bog has been
immortalized by Tom Disch. Maybe so, but I should just point
out that Gollancz didn't turn down THE BUSINESSMAN. Tom
turned down our offer...Take a look at Howard Jacobson's new
novel PEEPING TOM (widely praised of late). There is a
character called Dr Rowland Fitzpiers, `large and dark and
affable' with `heavy black brows' and a beard. He is an
academic grown keen on sf, and is first seen explaining how
all the great 19th century novels are really sf. He also has
lots of girlfriends who are `all the ex-wives or mistresses of
sf writers.' I'm sure even those of us who met Jacobson when
he was best man at Peter Nicholls's and Clare Coney's wedding
will realize that there are no _roman a clef_ elements in this
characterization." (ME)
MAXIM JAKUBOWSKY: "Being called a cretin by Peter
Nicholls (A40) is, I feel, a worthwhile achievement and I now
consider myself a genuine part of the Nicholls Pantheon.
Seriously though, the Allen & Unwin encyclopaedia project has
sold to the US at Frankfurt and as soon as all contractual
matters have been finalized I shall enter a major period of
commissioning." (MJ) [who like PN is doing The Encyc. of
Fantasy...)
IAN WATSON: "Once more into the political fray! Last
night I was adopted as Labour candidate to contest the fair
city of Lactodorum, more recently known as Towcester, and its
surrounding demesnes, in the May County Council elections.
Incumbent: a Liberal. Tory White Hope: Lord Hesketh." (IW)
ARTHUR C. CLARKE's new puffsheet lists the 2010 UK film
debut (9 March), and in the same month the start of an `ITV
series' called ARTHUR C. CLARKE'S WORLD OF STRANGE POWERS.
Egad... WILLIAM GIBSON sends a poster for Katebushcon 1
(Winnipeg, June 84); in revenge I quote his NEUROMANCER p44:
"the interzone where art wasn't quite crime, crime wasn't
quite art."
"THE USUAL VILE LIES & SLANDER" :: MARTIN MORSE WOOSTER
WORLD FANTASY CON: my spy Deep Troll reports the most
thrilling scene was at the Sunday afternoon banquet. This was
held at 2pm by con organizers who apparently forgot that the
last southbound flight from Ottawa was scheduled at 4pm. 88
fans were booked for it, and during the banquet the crowd
became strangely depopulated as they fled to avoid another
night of Arctic terror; Peter Straub went so far as to
disappear before a scheduled award presentation. Imagine the
delighted fannish mob discovering at the airport that the
flight was, alas, cancelled. More famous agents and authors
apparently disgraced the airport's coffee shop than anyone
would have the right to expect...
AMSTERDAM IN '88? This is the goal of notorious New York
fan Neil Belsky, who recently discovered the enormous
subsidies given by the Dutch Minister of Culture and is
planning a Netherlands Worldcon bid comprised entirely of
American fans. Reportedly Kees van Toorn was approached, but
Belsky is going full steam ahead, talking at endless length to
anyone who will listen about thrilling plans for subsidized
airfares, subsidized hotel rooms, &c.
THE SAGAN WATCH: Imminent publication of Carl Sagan's
famous novel CONTACT (ANSIBLE, passim) has caused numerous
moles and hatchetmen to emerge from the woodwork with this
vile rumour -- `C' has apparently been farmed out to a hack
we will call Sci-Fi Writer X. X is to receive 10% of the gross
in return for ensuring that `C' remains a credible sf novel,
that the plagiarisms are kept reasonably restrained, and that
the writer Deny All if asked about ghosting. Speculation
abounds as to who Mr X may be, but the most likely candidate
is Jerry Sohl.
[1994 EDITORIAL NOTE: Mr Wooster's fantasies about Carl
Sagan are included for historial completeness and should by no
means be regarded as gospel.]
The situation was masterminded by Simon & Schuster's Ron
Busch, whose first encounter with sf came in 1976 when he was
at Ballantine and Judy-Lynn del Rey rushed into his office
with stills from an obscure project called STAR WARS. "We
could make MILLIONS from this" Ms del Rey said. "Little girl,
why don't you take your toys and go home," Mr Busch reportedly
replied. "We grownups need to WORK." Del Rey proceeded to make
millions from STAR WARS while Busch lost $3M on Doctorow's
LOON LAKE and $1M on John Irving's THE HOTEL NEW HAMPSHIRE.
The person ultimately responsible for CONTACT is none
other than Francis Ford Coppola. In 1979 Mr Coppola, looking
for a way to save the ailing Zoetrope Studios, discovered that
sf films made zillions of dollars and proposed an sf mini-
series to NBC. He reportedly thrashed about for a Big Name to
attach to this to make it sell -- someone large, cosmically
minded... Carl Sagan! CS agreed to participate; S&S, sensing
that the Coppola/Sagan collaboration would make zillions of
dollars, agreed and gave Sagan the fabled $2M contract. The
Coppola floundered, dropped out, and left the world with a
forthcoming novelization for a never-to-be-made Coppola movie.
So it goes. (MMW)
:: CYMRUCON -- 2-4 November 1984 ::
DAVE WOOD has desperate fun in S. Wales:
The 1984 Cardiff con has cym and gone with a massive
turnout in the wake of poor advertising and the really
inspired notion of running it a mere week before Novacon.
Rumour has it that the fake Bob Shaw will be advising next
year's committee on the benefits of holding it on the same
week as Novacon 85. Sydney Jordan is to be approached... 42nd
Squadron, flushed with their triumph as Seacon, were in full
force, the Dez Skinn Appreciation Society swelled the audience
to approx 300 (committee estimate) though to an impartial
observer ie. self the place seemed deserted -- one could get
TO the bar with no problem, the battle was to attract the
attention of the massive bar contingent and HE always seemed
to be round the back in the kitchen... Fannish-world count
added up to a baker's dozen who sat bemoaning that it had All
Gone wrong. GoH Ken Bulmer fought his way to the rostrum amid
cheering support from an audience of 45, following
committeeman Neil Burgess's rousing intro ("You all know him
and so I won't waste any time introducing him," etc). Bulmer,
analyzing the potential of his audience, launched into Future
Sex in SF -- a serious talk, honest... By 4 pm Sat one Newport
fan was seriously debating whether to stay or go home for a
bath; thanks to the efforts of Martin & Katie Hoare plus
quantities of Brains SA found in a variety of seedy
hostelries, he was still there inebriated and unwashed on Sun
afternoon, eyeing up the knickers of various females. Amazing
incidents were few. The 24-hour `we won't be closing' bar had
shutters down at 8.30am on Sunday, thus defeating attempts by
Dave Wood, Mike Sherwood and A Certain Newport Fan to get a
pre-breakfast pint. One exciting moment came when Katie H
breathlessly announced she'd heard there were HOOKERS in the
basement. This was greeted with a surge of apathy by all
present, though for the next ten minutes male members of the
party kept having to visit the loos in the basement. I found
no trace of the ladies in question. Finally made my escape
amid cries of `see you at Novacon' and blooded oaths that
NOTHING would induce us to return to Cardiff 1-3 Nov 1985, see
you there?
The certain Newport fan -- initials AH -- cannot be
mentioned as (following the backlash of Security Fear in
fandom?) there was no sign of any checking as to who had
registered for the con: this gentleman never got round to
actually laying out hard cash for his scintillating weekend.
He was the lucky one. (DW)
*** Later, the Certain Newport Fan gloated that when he
returned legless from Sat-night pub crawling an off-sober
committee overcame hotel suspicions by guilelessly vouching
for the CNF as a Cymrucon member. Shock horror, etc. (DRL)
CONS
SILICONE is a (surprise) Silicon-style event: 15-18 Feb in the
Doric Hotel, Edinburgh, #4 to 191 Easter Rd, Edinburgh, EH6
8LF. If I can face the trip I might even be there...
DRAGONCON 3: 27 Jan (10am-10pm) The Bull, East Sheen with Anne
McCaffrey (`provisionally') & Jack Cohen. #7 to 131 Sheen
Lane, London, SW14 8AE... YORCON III persists with membership
said to be approaching 300 (is that all?) and a sensible
proposal from Paul Oldroyd -- not wearing his committee hat --
that two-year Eastercon bidding be introduced in 1986...
Beccon 85 is fully booked (ie. waiting list for
accommodation) and has produced THE 1984 EUROCON PRESS
REPORT, a handy 18pp A5 booklet on (basically) how author Jon
Cowie press-officered Seacon 84, with hopeful 87 Worldcon
tips. 75p postfree from 75 Rosslyn Ave, Harold Wood, Essex...
ALBACON 85: 19-22 July, Central Hotel, Glasgow, GoH H.
Ellison & A. McCaffrey. #8 to 20 Hillingdon Gdns, Cardonald
Glasgow, G52 2TP... Camcon aka Unicon 6: 13-15 Sept 85, New
Hall Coll, Cambridge, CB2 3QY... CONTRAVENTION, unusual among
86 Eastercon bids for not picking Glasgow as venue, has
settled on the Birmingham Metropole near (but not using the
hanger-like halls of) the NEC. Think I'll be voting for them
-- we could certainly use a `new' Eastercon venue... (Glasgow
Fandom: `Sod you, Langford.')
*** TAFF bits ***
A STATEMENT BY D. WEST: "As the losing candidate I wish to
make it absolutely clear that I have no complaints whatsoever
about either the result or the administration of the 1983/84
TAFF election. I consider that the attacks made upon the
integrity of Avedon Carol as North American TAFF administrator
are wholly unjustified and unjustifiable and represent nothing
more solid than slurs and innuendoes arising from personal
animosity and malice. To date no evidence at all has been
produced to show that Avedon Carol is guilty of any
wrongdoing, and I therefore call upon those concerned either
to produce their proofs without further delay and equivocation
or to make a full public withdrawal of their allegations. In
the event that this is not speedily done I urge fans
everywhere to join me in publicly condemning with the utmost
severity the behaviour of Avedon Carol's attackers." (DW, 24
Oct 84)
[No proofs have appeared, though the astonishingly
malicious Puerto Rico fan -- whose name will no more disfigure
these pages -- has indulged in further spitefulness which he
calls proof but shows only his wish to hurt and wound.]
Important. Vaguely connected with the above is a further
attempt to use TAFF as a weapon, by Central US fans wishing to
settle scores with the East and West coasts. The idea is to
swamp the voting with endless write-ins for one Martha Beck
(who's showed _none_ of the transatlantic interest which
should be a sine qua non for candidates). Votes are being
whipped up at Central US cons, by appeals to local chauvinism
and efforts to stir up resentment between "con" and "fanzine "
fans. If successful, this would incidentally disenfranchise
British fandom altogether (cf. the Hugos) and kill TAFF --
what Brit will bother when the US block vote will always have
the final word? _Please_ use the TAFF ballot with this issue.
I particularly recommend the Nielsen Haydens for your vote.
COA [1984 changes of address: omitted here]
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
*600200# is what you type at any Prestel termianl to get to
the utterly triffic Langford-edited SF news/reviews pages.
Practically the first thing I did was to break the current `no
political activity on Prestel' rule and isert an electronic
petition form enabling everyone to protest against the
sinister Treasury proposal to slap 15% VAT on books, etc.
Interested fans can collect signiatures locally, to the WE ARE
AGAINST VAT ON READING petition, and bung them off to Nat.
Book Committee, Book House, 45 East Hill, SW18 2QX. 105 fans
signed this at the December One Tun! A lot were also signing
the Pickersgills' petition to `protest the use of British TAFF
funds to support candidates who have no contact with or
interest in British fandom' -- details from 7a Lawrence Rd, S
Ealing, London, W5 4XJ... ROZ KAVENEY has resigned as Chatto &
Windus SF person: `a matter of principle' after decisions to
cut back SF etc were taken without consulatation while she was
away in hospital... BRITAIN IN 87 has expanded with a bidding
committee reshuffle -- Martin Tudor has left and several new
fans have joined, including Paul Oldroyd, Chris Donaldson and
Linda Pickersgill. US agent Marty Cantor reports that the
opposing US bid, Phoenix in 87, `decided to convert their bid
to a NASFiC bid. They are leaving their name on the Worldcon
ballot but are now actively campaigning for NASFiC. Bruce
Farr, bid leader, handed me a flyer announcing these
intentions.' Marty further conveys that LA-Con profits look to
be some $75,000, of which $250 goes to TAFF though not until
R. Hansen publishes his complete report. (Ouch)... APPEALS:
IAN WATSON begs `a noble Spanish-speaking soul to translate
(unpaid) an essay of splendid quality on Argentinian SF of
about 12,000 words for FOUNDATION. Said volunteer (please
contact me via ANSIBLE) will receive eternal fame and 2 years'
free sub to FOUNDATION!!' PAUL BARNETT, presuming on Hazel's
and my enormous gratitude at being featured in the dedication
of his new `John Grant' novel THE TRUTH ABOUT THE FLAMING
GHOULIES (h'mm), is interested in testing his theory that SF
fans tend not to be amateur cricket players and vice-versa.
All cricket-playing ANSIBLE readers are begged to write to him
(84 Wykes Rd, Exeter, EX1 2UD). No, I don't know why... JOHN
PIGGOTT WRITES!! `Bloody hell -- Kettle nuptials shock! It's
enough to make one glad one's sub to RISIBLE has expired. Mind
you, the spectre of the forthcoming Kettle infant pales into
insignificance when compared with the Piggott three (no.3 born
26 May this year, making 1 girl, 2 boys), which explains some
of my continuing inactivity.' (JP)... GEORGE HAY has achieved
great kudos as guest editor of the special `Applied SF' issue
of SCIENCE & PUBLIC POLICY (Oct 84); its 331 pages will cost
you a mere #13.60... GUFF: nominations deadline extended to
the end of December. The candidates are ever-cuddly Eve Harvey
and ever-cool John Jarrold (whom I seem to have nominated)...
===========================================================
This fanzine supports PATRICK & TERESA NIELSEN HAYDEN for
TAFF; CONTRAVENTION for Eastercon 86; and JOHN HARVEY for
doing this issue's usual electrostencil. (DRL)
===========================================================
HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE -- THE MOVIE is to start filming in May
with the same production team as GHOSTBUSTERS (thus D.Adams
on LBC radio recently). It'll contain material from the first
three books but, wisely, not the fourth... LAZLAR LYRICON (25-
27 MAy, Strathallan Hotel, Brum) is a Hitcher con costing an
appalling #16.50 to 10 Bourne Parade, Bourne Rd, Bexley, Kent
DA5 1LQ... THE BARYCZ FILE: `More media bits to put in'A'
where they, rather than items of importance, may be
obliterated by the postmark.' (Oops, I've been rumbled -- DRL)
"Lucas being sued by one Lee M. Seiler of SanFran,
artist/modelmaker, over creatures in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Unfortunately he says his original drawings were destroyed in
a 1979 flood and the judge won't allow substitutes as
evidence. Now one of the alleged thefts is/was a `Garthian
Sprinter': I remember issue 1 of UNEARTH (US SF mag, 1978)
had a full-page ad for skiffy type models featuring the words
`Garthian Sprinter'. Later issues had irate letters: fans sent
cheques (cashed) but got no skiffy models. UNEARTH ed
commiserated: ad placer hadn't paid for his ad, final demands
were coming back marked `gorn away' etc. The sweet irony of it
all, if it has anything to do with Mr Seiler that is... OBITS:
Richard Brautigan (49) of HAWKLINE MONSTER, IN WATERMELON
SUGAR and others which, like much 60s West Coast scribbling,
used sf elements. Francois Truffaut (52) who directed
FAHRENHEIT 451 7 appeared in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS... Spielberg
writing script for POLTERGEIST II in special ink supposed to
fade instantly if exposed to light from a duplicating machine.
A very old one, not the new types with 0.001 sec double flash;
also he seems blissfully aware of mini-cameras etc. Precaution
seems excessive -- it's going to be about mobile rotting
corpses of a restless disposition, everybody knows that....
Warner's being sued for $17,000,000 unpaid royalties on ET
computer game and others, $14M for ET alone. Seems video game
freaks don't want to spend their quarters helping ET phone
home, they'd much rather kill quadrillions of little green
wogs... R. Corman does his CONAN THE BARBARELLIAN 2 ripoff
with something called THE WARRRIOR & THE SORCERESS with a
full page ad of David Carradine taking his sword to the
tentacles of an octopus plant. Assume he's the Warrior & it's
the Sorceress he's busy rescuing from this affectionate piece
of vegetation. She'll be tricky to cast. The ad shows she has
to have four tits." (R.I. Barcyz)... SERIOUS SCIENCE: Bob
Shaw's 1982-84 Eastercon speeches are now available: #1 (#1.50
signed) from Eve Harvey, 43 Harrow Rd, Carshalton, Surrey, SM5
3QH, or -- since this is to fund a Shaw visit to Aussiecon --
Marc Ortlieb in Australia. Learn why `near Basingstoke there
is a pond full of newts which bear an uncanny resemblance to
Dave Langford'... JOHN W. CAMPBELL'S COLLECTED LETTERS --
George Hay exults over vol. 1 of this many-year project, now
in proof from Perry Chapdelaine (USA)... D. LANGFORD loses
further street credibility, flogs poem to AMAZING, hopes no
one will notice.
===========================================================
Hazel's Language Lessons #32: Sinhalese
AKSHAUHINI: a complete army consisting of 109350 foot,
65610 horse, 21870 chariots and 21870
elephants.
ATURA: tying cocoanut trees together from the top, to
enable toddy drawers to walk from one tree to
another without descending when they are
extracting toddy.
MIYURU: peacock; liquorice; frog
ANSIBLE 41 from 94 London Road, Reading,
Berkshire, England, RG1 5AU. Dec 1984
ANSIBLE 42, 1985: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE is a bit
of history. Addresses may have changed (the editor's postal
address hasn't, but ignore old e-mail addresses), prices and
agents' credits are invalid, etc.
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1993.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 42 is the ultimate answer to ... well, it must have
been a pretty bloody stupid question. Other such questions
are: who edits it? (Dave Langford, 94 London Road, Reading,
Berks, RG1 5AU, UK). What is it? (A: a tasteful SF newsletter
bringing you the latest edifying information from SFWA etc. B:
a loathsome and far too infrequent scandal-sheet wallowing in
all manner of moral decay. C: Hold Over Funds.) How can its
unfortunate addicts get their almost regular fix of 5 more
issues? (A: #2 cash/cheque/money order to ANSIBLE at the
editorial address. B: Girobank transfer to a/c 24 475 4403. C:
$3.50 US to Mary & Bill Burns, 23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY
11550, USA. D: $4A to Irwin Hirsh -- our NEW AUSSIE AGENT --
279 Domain Rd, S.Yarra, Vic 3141, changing in April to 2/416
Dandenong Rd, North Caulfield, Vic 3161, Australia. E: Don't
know.) Who did the cartoons? (A: Alexis Gilliland. B: A very
clever Alexis Gilliland parodist.) And the mailing labels? (A:
Keith Freeman. B: But really Keith Freeman's tame computer. C:
But really the long-suffering tax-payer via long-suffering
educational budgets....) And the collation? (A: William
T.Goodall and Alison Haston last issue. B: Dunno who this
issue. C: You mean like a cold collation?) What does LASTISH
43 mean? (A: Your subscription runs out next issue. B: At
least it didn't say SUB DUE, meaning you ran out THIS issue.
C: It says *****? Buy, you really are in trouble. Better not
to ask.) Why is this issue so late, then? (A: No award. B:
Conservative. C: March 1985. D: Don't know. E: Hazel's
Language Lesson was contributed by famous Nigel E.
Richardson.) Can I phone you on 0734 665804? (A: No. B:
Pardon?) What's happened to the typeface this issue? (A:
Rampant technophilia. B: Laziness. C: A new Apricot PC. D:
Chris Priest. E: Pangolin Systems Ltd. F: Most of the above.)
Why? (A: Why not?)
=============================================================
PRIEST FILM TERROR
Having mastered his new word processor to the extent of a
12,000 word short called `The Ament', Chris deliriously
reports: "THE GLAMOUR has sold film rights to Lawrence
Schiller, who produced and directed THE EXECUTIONER'S SONG,
and who is currently making PETER THE GREAT. When asked for
his reaction to the news, Mr Priest said, `I'm over the
parrot, John'... `The Ament' is appearing in a book called THE
SEVEN DEADLY SINS (Severn House, May). The sin I was
encouraged to write about was Anger. I requested Random
Violence, but this was not on the list. I was disappointed to
be reminded that Sloth is a deadly sin, since I have always
seen great virtue in this. (PS: The writer who wrote about
Sloth was late delivering...) I'm currently in negotiation
with Channel 4 over a one-hour television play." (CP)
HARRY HARRISON RAVES AGAIN
"I been misquoted -- the McCaffrey item [in A39?] was not my
imagination or mad ravings -- but FACTS from an INTERVIEW in
an Irish paper. Print instant correction, ANSIBLE, or I'll get
Harlan's lawyer to SUE you!" (HH)
SCOOP REVIEW
-- well, it would have been if I'd published in December.
Jaded, youth-worn Michael Ashley reports: "Hanging around a
street corner in Balham jeering at passers-by, I was deemed by
a passing Market Researcher to be a member of the general
public and given a free ticket to a preview of MORONS FROM
OUTER SPACE, 1985 release. I went. It's a comedy about some
aliens who crashland on the M1, the comedy stemming from the
fact that the aliens are utterly non-alien. (Sample humour:
hanging in the cockpit of their spaceship are two furry dice.)
I stayed an hour before walking out so I don't know much of
the plot. During this hour I laughed 3 times (one good joke:
guy in space helmet clearly going to sneeze and looks
desperate. Finally can't hold it, sneezes violently. Result:
space helmet splattered with green gob). The audience wetted
themselves uncontrollably at every joke, so it's probably a
safe bet to take your drippy girl/boyfriend on a Friday night
if there's nothing else on. Interesting to note that the
makers wouldn't dare make jokes about race or sex for fear of
getting their Arts Council Grant cut off, yet still wring a
few jokes from the mentally ill. Laugh? Well, some people
did..." (MA)
RAMSEY CAMPBELL CHANGES NAME TO RAMSEY CAMPBELL
"When I came into fandom it was quite a good joke for the
Liverpool Group to claim John Campbell as a member, but it's
been a good few years since then. In the interim I've grown to
dislike being called by the forename, so I've had my solicitor
rid me of it once and for all." (RC)
WOOSTERGRAM
"DOUGLAS ADAMS roared through Washington recently, pausing to
catch his breath and hawk the Hitchhiker computer game and THE
MEANING OF LIFF to some 500 glazed and scruffy students at the
U of Maryland. He revealed that, yes, there will be at least
one more Hitcher novel but insisted that there will NOT be any
Hitchhiker's toilet paper. Adams also reported that the long-
awaited movie was still in progress, and mentioned a peculiar
occupational hazard which only afflicts writers in his tax
bracket: `I had problems with the script, so the producers put
my proposal on the shelf and made another movie you might have
heard of -- GHOSTBUSTERS. So now every time I step into the
producer's office, I have to dodge large piles of cash.' Would
that we all had Mr Adams's problems.
"DUNE had its world premiere in Washington (3 Dec), and
all the world, or at least all of fandom, was there. Your
correspondent fulfilled his fantasies of being Tom Wolfe by
showing up in a white tuxedo. The stars were present,
including Dino de Laurentiis, director David Lynch, vacuously
handsome lead Kyle McLachlan, surprisingly aged Francesca
Annis, and of course such vastly more important people as Ted
White, whose tuxedo was surprisingly clean, and the renowned
Avedon Carol, who wore a dress for the second time in recorded
history. `I KNOW things about you,' she said to me before
slinking back into the shadows.
"Frank Herbert subsequently proved his rank of Sci Fi
megastar by being invited to a White House state dinner, where
he told any illiterate hack who would hear him that `There's a
lot of metaphor in my book.' Producer Rafaella de Laurentiis
was more effusive: `DUNE is the story of a charismatic leader.
Ronald Reagan is a charismatic leader.' Oh. What will Joseph
Nicholas say?
"ARTHUR C.CLARKE, perhaps wondering if Herbert would rise
above megastar status to become (gasp!) a Dean of SF, rushed
about giving 5,271,009 interviews about 2010: THE SEQUEL. In
an interview he maintained that he was far more than a well
paid Del Rey hack: `People ask me, do you work for NASA? And I
tell them, of course not, NASA works for me.'
"TOM DISCH is making a video of `Pyramids for Minnesota'.
The producer is... my brother-in-law, Steve Meyer. Sci-fi
lives!" (Martin Morse Wooster)
BSFA CENSORSHIP FUN
Monthly BSFA pub meetings developed a hiccup when the formerly
hospitable King of Diamonds pub announced without prior
warning that the society was to be banned for filthy
practices, such as mentioning CND. Mighty organizer Judith
Hanna issued a "shocked" press release, spurring CITY LIMITS
mag to interview the KoD landlord: "It's not political," he
wailed, "they don't spend enough. And they have things from
Greenpeace and Save the Seals which isn't science fiction."
Like listening to the old Norwich lot saying "It's not right,
you drink and have fun, which isn't SF..." Judith's
replacement venue is the Troopers Arms, Flood St (convenient
for Sloane Square but nowhere else): check first on 01-821-
8627.
1984/5 TAFF RESULTS
Congrats to Patrick & Teresa Neilsen Hayden, whose simple
majority victory is detailed in the attached thingy from UK
administrator Rob "Full of beans" Hansen. P&TNH's flyer
TAFFLUVIA reports a US kitty of $4417.82 (gosh), mentions that
they'll be here from 29 March to 14/21 April, and offers an
"open, publicly accountable forum" for discussion of TAFF --
possibly alluding to a current US "open forum" which soothed
British fears about That Midwestern Campaign (A41) by
censoring all references to it in the letters published.
(Interesting to see that the divisive campaign defeated
itself: horrified reactions swelled voting to a record level.)
I gather there'll be a meeting at Yorcon at which all views on
TAFF may be aired... And now a titbit for those who persevered
through the boring parts: TAFF wars having fostered Avedon's
and Rob's romance (those who noted their extremely occasional
and exhausted appearance at Albacon II may find other words
springing to mind), Carol/Hansen nuptials are definitely
scheduled! Avedon's early hopes of getting married in some
noted fannish home, with D.West officiating, has fortunately
been scuppered by British law...
WELL, WE HAVE TO MENTION DUNE
Instant movie review from Avedon: "Great camera work, fine
cast, terrific sets -- actors underutilized. I had to look
away from the screen during the scene with the Baron. And when
I did I saw the rest of the audience looking away from the
screen. The beginning drags: as Ted White put it, `They
followed the book -- to a fault.' I think they could have
omitted a lot of that expository sand. But the food at the
reception was great." (AC) Biggest laughs at the UK press
preview were at the inadequately prefigured line "Your water
will mingle with ours" and, in the scene alluded to above, "It
is a pleasure to prick your boils, my lord." I admired the way
that subtle Voice training became a vocal kung-fu rapidly
taught to recruits (shout at rocks and make them shatter,
etc), while the long-term ecological stuff was neatly
sidestepped by having God signal the goodies' victory by
laying on a miraculous rainstorm. Gawd. (DRL)
R.I.Barycz adds: "It's almost DUNE from the Baron's point
of view, that's where the director's sympathies lay, not with
them dumb Atreides and their mewling brats. Insufferably noble
the lot of them, whereas the Baron floats around being wicked
and enjoying himself hugely despite suffering from a
fashionable case of AIDS (or acne) and overindulgence in the
good things of life, like wet male flower arrangers in clingy
cheesecloth. Puts his nephews quite in the shade he does --
well, one of them can only bully dwarfs and the other's so shy
he takes a bath in his winged jockstrap..." (RIB)
C.O.A
JUSTIN ACKROYD, GPO Box 2708X, Melbourne, Vic 3001, Australia
:: WILLIAM & JANE BAINS, c/o 100 Galley Lane, Arkley, Barnet,
Herts, EN5 4AL :: CATHY BALL, 1812 Vine, Norman, OK 73069, USA
:: PETER COHEN, c/o Broadside, Admiral's Walk, London, NW3 6RS
:: RAMSEY CAMPBELL, 31 Penkett Rd, Wallasey, L45 7QF ::
JONATHAN COLECLOUGH, 13 Queens Cottages, Reading, RG1 4BE ::
LILIAN EDWARDS, 72 Gordon Rd, Finchley, London, N.3 :: WILLIAM
T.GOODALL & ALISON HASTON, oh god I've lost the new address,
can someone help? :: ALUN HARRIES, 42 Stelvio Pk Dr, Newport,
Gwent, NP9 3EJ (nay, stare not so, it's the postcode that's
changed) :: MELVYN HUNTLEY, 23 Borley Rd, Creekmoor, Poole,
Dorset, BH17 7DT :: PHIL JAMES, 57 Icknield Close, Ickleford,
Hitchin, Herts, SG5 3TE :: RUSSELL PARKER, 2/37 Elizabeth St,
Toowong, Queensland 4066, Australia :: JOAN PATERSON, see
Tibs :: MIKE & DEB ROHAN, 46 Vesper La, Leeds, LS5 3NR ::
JOYCE SCRIVNER, 3212-C Portland Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55407,
USA :: MATT SILLARS, 2 High St, Nairn, IV12 4BJ :: AL SIROIS,
72 Hubinger St, New Haven, CT 06511, USA :: KEVIN & DIANA
SMITH, 33 Derbyshire Rd, Sale, Cheshire, M33 3FD (another
postcode change) :: PETER SMITH, 262 Rochford Gdns, Slough,
Berks, SL2 5XW :: HELEN STARKEY (again!), 91 Mexfield Road,
Putney, London, SW.15 :: DAN STEFFAN has moved: dunno where ::
CHARLES STROSS, 22 Pk Ave, Leeds, LS8 2JH (non-COA: "ignore
spurious address in Cassandra") :: SUE THOMASON, Merioneth
Press, Unit 4, Marian Mawr Industrial Estate, Dollgellau,
Gwynedd, LL40 :: TIBS, see Joan Paterson (oh, all right, 59
Brookfields, Cambridge, CB1 3NZ) ::
HUBBARD FUNNIES
Awestruck Brian Earl Brown reports that "El Ron's group is
running a contest over various radio stations, with the prize
a bit part in the movie BATTLEFIELD EARTH. Some people will do
anything to get into pictures..." Kev Smith had "a shock when
looking for a nice quiet read of an accountancy magazine":
ACCOUNTANCY AGE (7 Feb) ran a vast photo of BATTLEFIELD
clutched by smirking Trev D'Cruz (who started Quadrant Books
chiefly to publish the thing)...
1984 BSFA AWARDS
Mike Moir sends the final ballot. NOVEL: EMPIRE OF THE SUN
(Ballard), NIGHTS AT THE CIRCUS (Carter), NEUROMANCER
(Gibson), MYTHAGO WOOD (Holdstock), THE GLAMOUR (Priest).
SHORT: `The Object of the Attack' (Ballard), `Unmistakably the
Finest' (Bradfield), `Spiral Winds' (Kilworth), `The
Unconquered Country' (Ryman), `The Man Who Painted the Dragon
Griaule' (Shepard). MEDIA: THE COMPANY OF WOLVES, DUNE,
NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR, STAR TREK III, THE TRANSMIGRATION OF
TIMOTHY ARCHER (as played at Mexicon). ARTIST: Jim Burns,
Peter Jones, Ian Miller, Bruce Pennington, Tim White.
"SEX AUTHOR SLAMS VAT ON BOOKS"
...was reportedly the modest headline surmounting Oxford STAR
coverage when "well known sex author Brian Aldiss" protested
plans (A41: now scrapped?) to tax books and magazines at 15%.
Will this revelation boost sales of the filthy HELLICONIA
WINTER? Or of his lewd essay collection THE PALE SHADOW OF
SCIENCE, being produced by Jerry Kaufman for Westercon (120pp
hc, 500 copies, $10.75 post free from JK, 4326 Winslow Pl N,
Seattle, WA 98103)... Brian's buddy Ian Watson is also big
news, with his council election campaign against Lord Hesketh
(Con): "Extremely miniature headline in the TOWCESTER &
BRACKLEY POST: SPACEMAN WILL TAKE ON LORD H." (IW)
BORING OLD NEBULAS
The final Nebula ballot for 1984 work has the following cosmic
items (all British stuff having been mercifully eliminated in
earlier stages)... NOVEL: FRONTERA (Shiner), THE INTEGRAL
TREES (Niven), JOB (Heinlein) THE MAN WHO MELTED (Dann),
NEUROMANCER (Gibson -- favourite, with 50% more nominations
than no.2), THE WILD SHORE (KS Robinson). NOVELLA: `The
Greening of Bed-Stuy' (Pohl), `Narrow Death' (Swanwick),
`Press Enter ` (Varley), `A Traveler's Tale' (Shepard),
`Trinity' (Kress), `Young Dr Eszterhazy' (Davidson).
NOVELETTE: `Bad Medicine' (Dann), `Bloodchild' (Butler), `The
Lucky Strike' (KS Robinson), `The Man Who Painted the Dragon
Griaule' (Shepard), `St Theresa of the Aliens' (Kelly),
`Trojan Horse' (Swanwick). SHORT: `The Aliens Who Knew, I
Mean, EVERYTHING' (Effinger), `A Cabin on the Coast' (Wolfe),
`The Eichmann Variations' (Zebrowski), `Morning Child'
(Dozois), `Salvador' (Shepard), `Sunken Gardens' (Sterling).
COMINGS & GOINGS
KATH MITCHELL & LEROY KETTLE announce a side effect of their
fanac, called Jennifer, as of 16 Feb. LISANNE NORMAN writes:
"Stuart and I now have a little boy. He was born on 11 Feb and
he's called Kai -- as in King Arthur's foster brother." (Can't
imagine why I expected him to be named John.) CORAL & ROB
JACKSON'S Xmas card bore the cryptic PS "No.2 expected in
July", possibly a reference to INCA. CLARE CONEY'S & PETER
NICHOLLS'S first tiny collaboration has a tentative October
publication date. IPC, it's shyly whispered, may be gravid
with plans for a new SF magazine, and the Norwegian NOVA (no
relation to British or Swedish mags) is launched this spring
-- Cato Sture, Plantv. 10, N-9020 Tromsdalen, Norway.
But OMNI UK went the way of all flesh before reaching the
Second Trial Issue promised for 29 Nov: commissioned
contributions would be paid for, reported editor Jon Chambers
from the deathbed, but no one's seen any actual money...
ALEXIS GILLILAND slipped on ice and broke his leg (17 Jan) but
hopes to transcend his plastered state (8 Mar) and perhaps
visit Britain (late June)... WALDEMAR KUMMING suffered a bad
heart attack in late 1984, but is recovering well. William &
Jane Bains's baby daughter CATRIONA died last year, her
condition from birth having been such that this was in the
nature of a merciful release. FRANCOIS TRUFFAUT, director of
FAHRENHEIT 451 etc and featuring in CLOSE ENCOUNTERS, died
last October. R.I. Barycz writes: "OBIT SAM PECKINPAH, well
known for flix treating the human body as what it actually is,
viz. a soft bag of flesh filled with red fluid under high
pressure that leaks in spectacular and messy fashion when
perforated by bullets, knives, etc. Thanks to his pioneering
work, if you now have a flick in which the hero in a white
shirt is hit at close range in the chest with a .45 he does
not just go `ow' and fall stainlessly forward. Wot has this to
do with skiffy? Nothing, save that according to VARIETY
Peckinpah rewrote (without credit) INVASION OF THE BODY
SNATCHERS -- the original, not the feeble remake -- and also
appeared in it in a cameo. He wanted to make SOMETHING WICKED
THIS WAY COMES but it came to nothing." (RIB)
CONVENTION CALENDAR
YORCON III, 5-8 Apr, Dragonara & Queens Hotels, Leeds: 36th
Eastercon, GoH Greg Benford, FGoH Linda Pickersgill. #10 att
to 45 Harold Mt, Leeds, LS6 1PW (#12 at door); last minute
queries 12 Fearnville Tce, Leeds, LS8 3DU. Low registrations
suggest there's still time to book: PR3 announces cheap rail
fares (Persil tickets are cheaper still) and beer (75p for
Dragonara fizz, less for real stuff in Queens).
PARCON 85, 26-28 Apr, Pardubice, Czechoslovakia. Info:
Anhaltova 41/987, 169 00 Prague 6, Czech.
GOCON III, 3-5 May, Gothenburg, Sweden. Info:
Bjorcksgatan 36 B, S-416 52 Goteborg, Sweden. #7 approx.
SOL III, 3-6 May, Adelphi Hotel, Liverpool: 19th official
UK Trekcon, GoH Mark Lennard, Lisa Tuttle, James White. Info:
39 Dersingham Ave, Manor Park, London, E12 5QF.
ITALCON XI, 23-26 May, Fanano, Italy. Info: Via San
Pietro 5, I-16035 Rapallo, Italy. Brian Aldiss announces that
this will be preceded by the WORLD SF ANNUAL MEETING, 21-22
May. WSF liaison: Patrizia Thiella, Corso Italia 32, I-21047
Saronno, VA. Italy.
LAZLAR LYRICON, 25-27 May, Strathallan Hotel, Birmingham:
Hitchercon. #16.50 (blimey) to 10 Bourne Parade, Bourne Rd,
Bexley, Kent, DA5 1LQ.
COLONIACON, 15-16 Jun, Koln, Germany. Info: Reiher Weg 1,
D-5000 Koln 30, West Germany.
NASACON 6, 6-7 Jul, Stockholm, Sweden. Info:
Maskinistgatan 9 ob, S-117 47 Stockholm, Sweden. #4 approx.
ALBACON 85, 19-22 Jul, Central Hotel, Glasgow: Glasgow's
10th con, GoH Harlan Ellison, Anne McCaffrey. #8 att to 20
Hillingdon Gdns, Cardonald, Glasgow, G52 2TP. "We really and
truly honestly do have Ellison and McCaffrey for Albacon 85...
both have confirmed in writing... Albacon 84 has finally been
wound up and the following donations made: Shaw Fund #50, Head
Appeal #200." (O.Dalgliesh)
BECCON 85, 26-28 Jul, Basildon, Essex: GoH Richard
Cowper. Info: 191 The Heights. Northolt, Middlesex, UB5 4BU.
Waiting list for hotel (full up); day memberships OK.
BARCON 85, 9-11 Aug, Berlin. Info: INCOS e.v. Goltzstr.
35, D-1000 Berlin 30, Germany.
SWECON, 15-18 Aug, Stockholm: GoH Lisa Tuttle, Chris
Priest. Address: as Nasacon. "Continental Hotel, central
Stockholm. Room prices ca. #45 for a double (and that is
considered cheap here); memberships ca. #14 (but the committee
usually want interesting foreigners to be special guest stars
etc, which means free or half-price membership). One PR in
English, two in Swedish." (A.Engholm)
CAMCON, 13-15 Sept, New Hall Coll, Cambridge. #7 att,
rooms #16.10/person/night. C/o N.Taylor, Perspective Design
Ltd, Top Floor, 9 Pembroke St, Cambridge, CB2 3QY.
MILFORD WRITERS' CONFERENCE [UK], 22-28 Sept, Compton
Hotel, Milford-on-Sea, Hants. Info: Lisa Tuttle, me.
EUROCON 85, 1-6 Oct, Riga, USSR. No further data.
BENELUXCON 85, 26-27 Oct, Hotel Nieuw Minerva, Leiden,
Netherlands. GoH Annemarie van Ewyck. Info: Postbus 1189, 8200
BD Lelystad, Netherlands.
NOVACON 15, 1-3 Nov, De Vere Hotel, Coventry: GoH Dave
Langford, James White. (Gosh!) #7 att to 86 Bearwood Farm Rd,
Wylde Green, Sutton Coldfield, Birmingham, B72 1AG.
CYMRUCON 85, 1-3 Nov *groan*, Centre Hotel, Cardiff.
Bossperson Neil Burgess mutters of skipping '86 and shifting
to a less crowded time of year in '87. Info: none yet.
MEXICON 2, 7-9 Feb 86, said to be in the Strathallan
Hotel, Birmingham: #9 att to 24a Beech Rd, London, N.11.
BALLCON, 3-6 Jul 86, Zagreb: thus Krsto Mazuranic's name
and hoped date for Eurocon 86. FGoH Roelof Goudriaan. GoH
uncertain ("expected VIPs: Moebius, Giger, Brothers
Strugatski, Dumarest..."). Info: c/o SFera, Ivanicgradska 41a,
4100 Zagreb, Yugoslavia.
CONFEDERATION, 28 Aug - 1 Sept 86, is the 44th Worldcon,
in Atlanta, Georgia, USA. GoH Ray Bradbury, Terry Carr,
toastmaker Bob Shaw. I'm mysteriously short of info on the
increased 1985 fees, as is UK agent Colin Fine (205 Coldham's
Lane, Cambridge, CB1 3HY): ask him for the latest.
WORLDCON BIDS: BRITAIN IN 87 has published a PR Zero
dated Dec 84 (coff coff). Presupporters approaching 700: rush
your #1 or $2 to 28 Duckett Rd, London, N4 1BN, whence a fiver
will also bring you a white/grey/red/blue/yellow bid t-shirt
with Jim Barker design (state small, med, large, enormous).
USA: $10 to Marty Cantor, 11565 Archwood St, N.Hollywood, CA
91606. Phoenix (AZ) remains technically in the running for
1987 but has ceased to campaign for the Worldcon. 1988: New
Orleans is bidding; for Yugoslavia, Krsto Mazuranic says "RSN
there's going to be issued a statement on whether the Bid will
resume its active life and speed ahead towards victory; or
whether it will regroup for 1990; or whether it's dead and
haunting the culprit for its demise." 1990 will be impossibly
tough for non-US bids: LA-Con has published a breakdown of its
$194,000 surplus, of which a full $20,000 is reserved for 1990
bidding. (Other big chunks: $65K to reimburse con workers and
speakers, $10K to aircondition Los Angeles SF Soc HQ; $10K to
bail out ConStellation, $3K to TAFF, DUFF & GUFF [six $500
chunks, payable on production of completed trip report], $2K
to Aussiecon, $65K uncommitted, etc.) 1992: New York committee
in formation. (F770)
THE OBLIGATORY DAVID GARNETT PUFF
"GARNETT: a lone hero desperately battling for survival in a
stark, chilling world where any friend may be a traitor and
every precarious moment of life may be the last..." [And
that's just his letterhead: DRL.] "You know this idea about
the BBC showing adverts -- as usual, I'm ahead of my time.
They are advertising my latest publication every week. It's
called THE PICKWICK PAPERS, which ties in with the tv serial
on Sundays. Can't really call it a novelization, as it's only
around 18,000 words. Maybe a noveletization. It's based on an
old book by some other bloke, but at 900 pages who would buy
the original? And my version is packed with stills from the
serial." (DG)
OUR MAN WITH THE POPCORN: MORE R.I.BARYCZ
"Lucasfilm talking with Disney World about setting up a
Lucasworld at EPCOT by 1988. Somehow I don't think there'll be
any more SW films. Lucas is taking the short money: the Ewok
movie, Lucasworld and now two animated features for the Ewoks
and R2D2 and C3PO... Leonard Nimoy has got his star on the
Hollywood Walk of Fame... Paul Maslansky who made POLICE
ACADEMY is to make Asimov's PIRATES OF THE ASTEROIDS with
Zoran `I made Superman fly' Peristic for the SFX. #8M budget
($ rather -- ah, the bliss of parity)...
"By now Holdstock will have phoned you at three in the
morning with the news that he's doing the Penguin novelization
of John Boorman's THE EMERALD FOREST, which film is to have
its premiere at Cannes this year and which VARIETY deems a
scifantasy feature but which I recall as your everyday tale of
a juvenile South American kidnapped by Amazon headhunters and
brought up as one of themselves in something not a million
miles from Tarzan. Said juvenile played by Boorman's own son:
publicity pic of him squatting ferocious in warpaint,
feathers, poison darts and Gucci loincloth rises unbidden in
the memory..." (RIB) Big Rob will now say a few words: "I
worked really hard on that book, I spent months of my life
making it a real novel, not just a novelization, a book with
my very soul written deeply into it, and ten fucking American
publishers bounced it SIGHT UNSEEN because they don't like
Boorman... argh!" (RPH)
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
CHEAP TRUTH GOES SILICON: the appalling Texan samizdat zine
has expanded as "the world's first on-line SF fanzine... SMOF-
BBS is accessible at 300 baud through modems anywhere on the
planet. Plug in and call 512-UFO-SMOF." (512-836-7663 for
those of us with all-figure dials.) Look, punks, the world's
first on-line fanzine was and is Starlight SF on Micronet:
Prestel page *600200, mailbox 733631000. Mine, all mine!
BBC HORROR: the Beeb's decision to suspend STAR TREK ("we
said we'd rerun them all, but not when") and axe DR WHO ("too
expensive") generated several billion responses in mere days
to an electronic petition put on-line by sensuous Starlight
media editor Barbara Conway.
TRIALS OF WINDHAVEN is now announced by Corgi as "No.6 in
this sexy historical saga with series sales now approaching 5
million." Hadn't realized George Martin & Lisa Tuttle had
switched to this obvious pseudonym ("Marie de Jourlet")...
CRIES FOR HELP: LISANNE NORMAN wants volunteers for an
undescribed Beccon costume piece -- "we especially need anyone
going who has a Motor Bike." (Or a goat.) 22 Wakefield Rd,
Norwich, NR5 8JE. JOHN BOARDMAN (writes Ethel Lindsay), wants
the UK edition of the "Trivial Pursuit" game and offers the US
version in exchange (234 E 19th St, Brooklyn, NY 11226).
MALCOLM HODKIN "will forego major parts of his anatomy in
easily negotiable currency to anyone who can provide him with
Firesign Theatre recordings: 45c South St, St Andrews, Fife,
KY16 9QR". (BORING VOICE OF PUB LANDLORD: "This isn't SF, get
out of here.")
YO-HO-HO: imagine Mike Rohan's surprise and delight at
finding his "The Insect Tapes" reprinted in an Octopus
collection imaginatively titled 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. Seems
the initial publishers David & Charles resold the rights,
pocketed the money and hoped Mike wouldn't notice.
DUNEGATE is the latest, thrillingly boring US fanfeud.
Was it vile abuse of power when the Gillilands, marking a
Washington SF Assoc membership list at the request (one hour's
notice) of Those Who Distribute Free DUNE Tickets, neglected
several famously prestigious authors I've never heard of?
Surveying irate flyers, ad hominem assaults and alternative
"protest" WSFA meetings, ANSIBLE has little hesitation in
saying ZZZZZZ...
OFFICIAL MICHAEL MOORCOCK SOCIETY: $10/year US/Canada,
$15 elsewhere, to A.Pool, 321 Kenilworth, Memphis, TN 38112,
USA. Can British interest in MM be so sparse that it's not
worth having an agent here?
STRANGE EGOBOO: something called RAT 2080 has arrived,
Serbo-Croat version of my first book, and I must say it looks
just triffic; as Vincent Omniaveritas wrote to me, there's a
quality in a good translation that you can never quite capture
with the original. Meanwhile, trying to make me feel good,
Cathy Ball writes: "I do enjoy ANSIBLE. But then I enjoyed the
PATCHIN REVIEW." Um.
SPACE OPERA: world premiere of MARRIAGES BETWEEN ZONES 3,
4 AND 5, opera version, on 10/11 April, 8pm, Palace Theatre,
Duke's Rd, WC.1 -- bookings 01-387 0031. Sounds nearly as
exciting as TRACTATUS LOGICO-PHILOSOPHICUS: THE MOVIE...
NEW YEAR SCANDAL: which glamorous Harrow author was seen
locked in, er, deep editorial discussion with which SF
CHRONICLE reporter and BFS leading light at the
Edwards/Atkinson New Year party? Shame on you, expecting us to
answer that.
WORLD WAR III SAFE -- OFFICIAL! "We must get rid of the
idea that such a war would destroy all life on Earth... the
planet would recover very quickly... the southern hemisphere
would not be involved and would not be damaged...." Thus
Michael Allaby's 2040: OUR WORLD IN THE FUTURE (Gollancz,
March 85). Invited to comment on this dazzling presentation of
current "nuclear winter" theories, hero Gollancz editor and
CND stalwart Malcolm Edwards said, "Er um well, nothing to do
with me, boss...."
FOREST J.ACKERMAN offers $100 reward to the coiner of a
suitable term to describe sleazy, exploitative pseudo-SF of a
medioid nature (SFC). You may have thought one existed, but
FJA desperately wants his own coinage "sci-fi" to be
rehabilitated. Too late, mate....
GUFF, SEFF: races are under way and ballots are enclosed
where postage permits. Cool, streetwise Eve Harvey and
huggable John Jarrold are contending for a trip to Aussiecon;
little-known Hans-Jurgen Mader and even littler-known Steve
Green have sights set on Swecon 85....
RIOTS IN FIFE -- Malcolm Hodkin reports. "Just recovering
from a visit by Jim Barker and Ian Sorensen. They popped over
to give the first, and by the sounds of it not the last,
performance of a fannish pantomime they called `Fandarella'.
This was mainly an excuse to throw apple and pork pies into
the faces of the St Andrews SF Society, but we showed 'em! By
skilfully not telling them anything about it we were able to
devastate our guests and the audience with our own brand of
humour, turning a simple but weak ending into a simple and
messy bloodbath. The Magnum 4.4 is, you know, the most
powerful cap pistol in the world, and it shoots twelve shots
so most punks are unlacing their shoes when you finally get
around to popping the question: `Well, punk. Did I shoot
eleven, or was it twelve? Make my day, punk!' Yet more hapless
proles were forced into obtaining Albacon memberships, whilst
Barker tried to sell Siliclone to a bunch of not-even-neos. It
could make you cry, or even support Contravention." (MH) I'm
glad Fifeshire's a long way away....
AUSSIECON: Jean Weber begs fanzines for display or sale
at the 85 Worldcon fanroom. Rush all your old, cast-off
ANSIBLEs to GPO Box 2708X, Melbourne, Vic 3001.
CHARLES PLATT MARRIED: On 19th January 1985. In New York
presumably. That's as much as he's telling....
HAZEL'S LANGUAGE LESSONS NO.33:
KURDISH [from Nigel E.Richardson]
BERDIRKANE party given on occasion
of wearing a new suit of clothes
for the first time.
BINESK what remains of a tablet of
soap when it is nearly used up.
KINGEXISHKE self-propulsion along
the ground on one's buttocks.
ANSIBLE 42
from
DAVE LANGFORD
94 LONDON ROAD
READING
BERKSHIRE
ENGLAND RG1 5AU
[ADDENDUM typed at bottom of Ansible Fan Poll ballot]
LAST BITS ### CON CALENDAR: addenda. Confederation sends
current rates, to rise again in August: $25 supporting, $45
attending, $25 att if you voted in 1986 site selection at LA-
Con. Worldcon bids not mentioned: Boston in 89, St Louis and
Columbus-Cincinnati (i.e. a Cincinnati bid by Columbus fandom)
in 88. Aussiecon PR3 contains a Phoenix in 87 bid -- for, as
promised, not the Worldcon but the North American substitute
event (NASFiC) held when Worldcons come to e.g. Britain.
Aussiecon membership 1365 as of Feb.... PATCHIN REVIEW RIP:
final issue of shit-stirring Plattzine to hand, offering
subscribers a chance to convert subs to `Ansible, an
irreverant, amusing British monthly' [sic] -- good old
Charles, sarcastic to the last.... SUPPORT YORCON NOW, DAMMIT:
`Yorcon is pretty close to broke, already....' (Tom Shippey)
ENCYCLOPAEDIAS OF FANTASY: both Maxim Jakubowski's and Peter
Nicholls's delayed by US sale setbacks.... FURRY GLOVES,
WOOLLY HAT left at our New Year party: owner please claim....
CREDITS to A.Stephenson (stencils) and C.Suslowicz (paper)....
HIBBERT/CONNOR SCANDAL: damn! no room.
ANSIBLE 43, 1985: PLEASE NOTE that this old ANSIBLE is a bit
of history. Addresses may have changed (the editor's postal
address hasn't, but ignore old e-mail addresses), prices and
agents' credits are invalid, etc.
Dave Langford, ansible@cix.compulink.co.uk, 1993.
=============================================================
ANSIBLE 43 MAY/JUNE 1985 ISBN 0265-9816
Further misrepresentation from DAVE LANGFORD, 94 LONDON ROAD,
READING, BERKSHIRE, RG1 5AU, UK. Subscriptions: 5 issues may
be effortlessly obtained by sending me #2 in sterling notes (I
have given no thought whatever to the imminent phasing out of
the pound note); cheques/money orders to ANSIBLE; Girobank
transfer to a/c 24 475 4403; $3.50 to hero US agents Mary &
Bill Burns (23 Kensington Ct, Hempstead, NY 11550); $4A to
dynamic Aussie agent Irwin Hirsh, 2/416 Dandenong Rd, North
Caulfield, Vic 3161. Other ways to acquire ANSIBLE include
grovelling requests copiously accompanied with stamps; paying
twice as much if you're an Institution which insists on
messing round with invoices rather than fork out like an
honest fan; or subscribing to PATCHIN REVIEW and unwisely
allowing Charles Platt to switch your sub to ANSIBLE when he
folds. Loud, clear, patient phone calls to Reading (0734)
665804; electronic mail to Prestel mailbox 733631000. Lavish
small-print credits: TARAL (guest cartoonist), CHRIS HUGHES
(collation), and KEITH FREEMAN (finely crafted mailing labels
which everyone misinterprets: panic only when yours says SUB
DUE or, shudder, *****). This issue goes to 440 addresses.
=============================================================
A STATEMENT OF EDITORIAL POLICY
"A ZINE is classed as a terror weapon. It rends and distorts,
twisting the structure of the target completely out of shape."
(Philip E.High: COME, HUNT AN EARTHMAN) ...Yes.
SCHIZOPHRENIA AT YORCON III
Lots of things must have happened at our 41st Eastercon, and I
wish I could remember what they all were-clearly I had
desperate fun. (The panel I was scheduled for was really good;
pity it happened several hours before I reached Leeds.) The
usual feeling that All The Action Is Somewhere Else was
amplified by the provision of an actual, oppressive Somewhere
Else in the form of a second hotel for obscure and specialist
doings: art show, book room (dealers bitched, as usual, about
profits being down 50%), video and film programme, guest of
honour speech, etc. (Am baffled still by the unattributable
rumour that GoH Greg Benford "turned out to be a CIA agent
and tried to recruit David Pringle".) The bar of the
Dragonara, main Yorcon hotel, exerted its normal fascination.
Programme items? Tom Shippey gave a further impersonation
of F.R.Leavis in the grip of homicidal mania, powerfully
arguing that much `juvenile' fantasy is all about things like
assassinating one's parents. (Hysterically enthusiastic
audience: "So what's new?") Publishers were as usual shifty
and evasive about publishing, authors all too informative
about the unspeakable horror of the literary life. A hi-tech
programme (or program) spot featured Martin Hoare on the
mysteries of hacking, showing by example that Computer Crime
Does Not Pay since (a) it takes several subjective months to
set up your (or at any rate his) equipment, by which time it
has become obsolete; and (b) only by the most herculean
efforts can one even `break into' public access databases, let
alone the ultra-secret Yorcon sex files...
Up in the fan room, Greg Pickersgill donned his genial Mr
Evil persona for purposes of public communion with, INTER
ALIA, Dave Wood ("GOD, WOOD, YOUR FANZINE IS SO FUCKING AWFUL,
HOW CAN YOU BE SO SMUG ABOUT YOUR UNMERITED NOVA AWARD WHEN
YOU DON'T FUCKING EDIT?" Audience struck dumb by this grasp of
structuralist critical terminology) and born-again Fan GoH
Linda Pickersgill, who had "trudged up from the darkness into
the true light of fandom", only to marry Greg, who
demonstrated by example that there was still a Dark Side of
the Force. Popular TAFF winners Patrick & Teresa Neilsen
Hayden displayed remarkable resource by dividing up the
expected duties of transatlantic visitors: he nobly attended
to the consumption of much native beer, and she as nobly did
the falling over. Fans of yore were everywhere underfoot,
notably Walt & Madeleine Willis (Walt and I discovered a deep,
hitherto unsuspected mutual interest in hearing aids), Chuch
Harris (whose Compromising Situations were too many and
outrageous to list; in his finest hour he burst into a crowded
and -- unbeknownst to him -- hushed con hall with the
varyingly reported but at any rate stentorian cry "I didn't
come 200 miles to meet fucking John Brunner!"), and even John
Collick. The latter resumed where he'd left off, videotaping a
deathless new epic wherein a nonentity (Phil Palmer) goes on a
psychopathic rampage owing to the poor reception of his
fanzine ("We all had to line up and Laugh Cruelly at him" --
PNH), necessitating that rough, tough detective Grubby Herbert
(JC) shoot lots of people, his perennial line "You're asking
yourself, has he shot six, or only five?" constantly
interrupted by walk-on appearances of uncomprehending hotel
staff from a passing lift. Could this be science fiction?
Parties kept happening, the most chaotic being
Contravention's with its paper-plane simulation of a multi-
strike nuclear exchange escalating to spasm level. "I wouldn't
have voted for their bid," sniffed small but perfectly formed
visiting fan Tom Weber: "they totally failed to control the
paper planes." A Contravention spokesman (ever-paranoid Chris
Hughes) later commented: "Aha! The throwing of planes... the
plane-throwing which was started by Ian Sorenson of the rival
Eastercon bid! I SEE IT ALL."
Sure enough, Sunday morning saw the victory (by a mere
two votes) of Contravention over Albacon III as the 1986
Eastercon venue -- shortly followed by a recount and the
victory by a mere five votes of Albacon III over
Contravention.
In an exciting innovation borrowed from old Novacons, the
Sunday-night nosh and presentations spot was made a buffet
affair. We draw a veil over the slight queue problem, there
being a discrepancy between the advance sales of buffet
tickets (on which demand estimates were apparently based) and
the 500 last-minute customers from whom uninformed hotel
lackeys were happy to accept cash at the counter. The
customary pork pie race followed: mathematicians long ago
proved that there is no rational way to convey the concept of
pie, especially across forty feet of dance floor, and unlikely
transportation led to expected appalling scenes such as Rob
Jackson giving the kiss of life to a giant maggot. Norman
Spinrad and a low-powered panel of judges struggled in vain to
rank the performances: their feeble efforts at decisiveness
made no difference to MC Brian Burgess's unilateral
prizegiving.
BSFA awards were presented to Jim Burns (artist), THE
COMPANY OF WOLVES (media), Geoff Ryman's `The Unconquered
Country' (short fiction) and Rob Holdstock's MYTHAGO WOOD
(novel): how can one sneer properly at awards when they go to
such triffic stuff? Voting was "nearly twice the usual",
administrator Mike Moir furtively confides. BSFA magazines,
meanwhile, ring with outraged cries of "How dare EMPIRE OF THE
SUN allow itself to be so much as nominated for this award
when IT ISN'T SCIENCE FICTION?!" Here we go again...
On Monday there was an active attempt at forming a
Convention Gestalt Mind, as unwary fans were herded into
seminar groups under the nominal leadership of hungover
publishers. Parts of this were fun... Deftly skirting
difficult issues like the question "Why do editors always send
my manuscripts back?", Granada's Nick Austin held my own group
enthralled and wove the many threads of debate into a
triumphantly integrated lack of conclusion. Since he wisely
sneaked off home before the afternoon's "plenary session", and
since this session took place before the bar's final closure,
I do not report the ultimate, cosmic conclusions reached.
Overall it was an euphoric weekend. Everything shimmered
through a haze of well-being, even Leeds railway station, even
Graham James. With a shrewd grasp of fans' true needs the
committee arranged an extension of Monday check-out time to
late afternoon, ensuring glowing con reports by sending most
of the membership home late and happy. Let's not talk about
the following few days, shall we?
I SUPPOSE I'VE GOT TO DO IT
...type out the Hugo nominations. Death, where is thy sting?
NOVEL: NEUROMANCER (Gibson), JOB (Heinlein), THE INTEGRAL
TREES (Niven), EMERGENCE (Palmer -- who?), THE PEACE WAR a
(Vinge -- V not J). NOVELLA: `Cyclops' (Brin), `Valentina'
(Delaney & Steigler), `Summer Solstice' (Harness), `Elemental'
(Landis), `Press Enter ' (Varley). NOVELETTE: `Bloodchild'
(Butler), `Lucky Strike' (KS Robinson), `Silicon Muse'
(Schenck), `Man Who Painted the Dragon Griaule' (Shepard),
`Weigher' (Vinicoff & Martin), `Blued Moon' (Willis), `Return
to the Fold' (Zahn). SHORT: `Crystal Spheres' (Brin), `The
Aliens Who Knew, I Mean, EVERYTHING' (Effinger), `Rory'
(Gould), `Symphony for a Lost Traveller' (Killough), `Ridge
Running' (KS Robinson), `Salvador' (Lucius Shepard).
NONFICTION: `Sleepless Nights in the Procrustean Bed'
(Ellison), `Dune Encyclopaedia' (McNelly), `Faces of SF
[Omitting Those Outside N America Because They Don't Count]'
(Perret), `In the Heart or In the Head' (Turner), `Wonder's
Child' (Williamson). PRO EDITOR: Terry Carr, Ed Ferman,
Shawna McCarthy, Stanley Schmidt, George Scithers. PRO ARTIST:
Vincent diFate, Tom Kidd, Val Lakey Lindham (?), Barclay Shaw,
Michael Whelan. DRAMATIC PRESENTATION: DUNE, GHOSTBUSTERS,
LAST STARFIGHTER, SEARCH FOR SPOCK, 2010.
SEMIPROZINE: FANTASY REVIEW, LOCUS, SFC, SFR, WHISPERS.
FANZINE: ANSIBLE, FILE 770, HOLIER THAN THOU, MYTHOLOGIES,
RATAPLAN. FANARTIST; Brad Foster, Steven Fox, Alexis
Gilliland, Joan Hanke-Woods, Bill Rotsler, Stu Shiffman.
FANWRITER: Leigh Edmonds, Richard E.Geis, Mike Glyer, Arthur
Hlavaty, Dave Langford (coff coff). JOHN W CAMPBELL AWARD (not
really a Hugo, caveat emptor, may be hazardous to the health,
etc): Bradley Denton, Geoffrey Landis, Elissa Malcolm, Ian
McDonald, Melissa Scott, Lucius Shepard.
STATISTICS: 223 ballots received. The easiest category in
which to pick up a Hugo nomination is clearly Fanzine (only 7
votes required), unless you count the JWC Award (6). For the
rest: Fanwriter 8, Semiprozine and Short 9, Fanartist 10,
Novelette and Pro Artist 15, Nonfiction 16, Editor 20, Novella
22, Novel 26, Dramatic 40...
THE UNCONTROVERSIAL LETTER COLUMN
COLIN GREENLAND: "I've resigned from INTERZONE and thought I
should tell ANSIBLE why before there's any gossip. David
Pringle wants complete control of the magazine (no, not
ANSIBLE, INTERZONE). He thinks everything I do is part of some
secret plot to seize power for himself, as if nobody could
possibly have any motives but his own. I can't work any longer
with someone who tells me to `knuckle under or piss off'. So
I'm pissing off, to Colorado in fact, to spend a couple of
months concentrating on the novel Allen & Unwin have
commissioned from me... Meanwhile in California, at UC
Riverside, they've just given me this year's J.Lloyd Eaton
Award for THE ENTROPY EXHIBITION. Delighted and much
gratified, I wonder how a book published in 1983 can be
eligible in 1985. Something to do with the International
Dateline, probably." [CG]
STEPHEN JONES: "I feel I must complain at the scurrilous
piece of gossip headed `New Year Scandal' on the back cover of
ANSIBLE 42. I don't know who leaked this particular piece of
false information to you, but as the SFC reporter and BFS
leading light obviously alluded to, I can categorically deny
that I got up to any, er, `funny business' with Lisa Tuttle.
However, I am sure that she will not take exception to your
describing her as a `glamorous Harrow author'... I strongly
suspect those two troublemakers Jo Fletcher and Chris Priest
of spreading this malicious rumour." [SJ]
VINCENT OMNIAVERITAS: "Lisa Tuttle was in town and
dropped by CHEAP TRUTH CENTRAL, where I dazzled her with my
mind reading act, based on bits of inside Tuttle gossip
gleaned from ANSIBLE. She has become a computer widow... won't
touch her husband's sinister devil-machine. `He keeps
bursting out of his room,' she said, `and I ask him if he's
gotten any writing done, and he says No, but I just figured
out how to make it do something great!" [VO -- now in Penguin]
TERRY CARR: "I'm buying SF novels (no fantasies... let's
get that straight) for Tor Books: an extremely good outfit,
headed by Tom Doherty, the only publisher I've ever met whom I
vastly respect both for honesty and knowledge of the business.
I can buy SF novels, either completed or on the basis of
portion-&-outline, provided you've never sold a book to Tor
before (that's in my contract. The point is that they don't
need me to buy books from authors with whom they've already
had dealings, like publishing their books). Tor pays as much
money for advances as does anyone... I'm also fiction
editor for the forthcoming magazine TO THE STARS, whose rates
are 6 1/2 cents a word, the highest in the field (OMNI
excluded as not basically an SF magazine), and they don't
slide downward as word-lengths get longer; they're the same
even at 30,000 words -- try to get THAT from any other SF
magazine! Which doesn't mean I want longer stories more than
shorts; I just think word-rates ought to be word-rates. No
particular `policy' for fiction except that it must all be SF,
not fantasy. I hope to buy as many as possible that evoke the
`sense of wonder', because I think that's the heart of SF to
most people and it's sadly been in little evidence in
magazines for several years. And yeah, they'd better be well
written, because in that respect at least I'm a snob." [TC,
11037 Broadway Tce, Oakland, CA 94611, USA]
ANN LOOKER: "Noticed you contributed to GHASTLY BEYOND
BELIEF. Amazed to find this passage from SECOND STAGE LENSMEN
not included: `"Dearly beloved..." The grand old service --
short and simple, but utterly impressive -- was soon over.
Then, as Kinnison kissed his wife, half a million Lensed
members were thrust upward in silent salute.'" [AL/EES]
AVEDON CAROL: "There is a profound inaccuracy in the
information provided you by Martian Moose Worship [A42]. He
maintains that I wore a dress to the premiere of DUNE at the
Kennedy Centre here last December. This is incorrect. I can no
longer be induced to wear dresses unless I am being paid to do
so. I wore a tuxedo. With all due respect to Mr Worship, he's
as blind as a bat if he thinks black trousers and a tie
constitute a `dress'..." [AC. Or DC. Who knows?]
IAN WATSON: "Mark Ziesing is going to produce a posh
expensive limited edition of my wit & wisdom in the near
future, called THE BOOK OF IAN WATSON, with non-fic from
places like VECTOR, and about 50,000 words of unpublished fic,
including a 21,000 word novella cum verse drama about animated
Ushabtis -- tell Hazel and stun her. You see, I know what
Ushabtis were really intended for; all the Egyptologists got
it wrong. They were intended to... This is a shameless attempt
to persuade Hazel to fork out untold dollars on a copy of the
book; for the answer will truly amaze her." [IW]
INCREDIBLY BORING EVENT UPDATES
TRIPLE-S CON, 12-14 July, Ladbroke Hotel, Newport, Gwent: GoH
Lord Young of Dartington (blimey). #11 att (to 15 June, then
#12); rooms #15.50/person/night (shared twin only). 162
Kingsheath Ave, Rutherglen, Glasgow. This emanates from the
"Space Settlers Society"; I suppose the taming of barren,
inhospitable new frontiers may as well start with Newport...
EXCALIBUR, 12-31 Aug inclusive, Heriot Theatre Upstairs,
30 Grindlay St, Edinburgh... A home-made play stirringly
titled QUEST FOR THE MIDNIGHT TOWER: THE LEGEND OF IDRA KHAN
makes its debut in the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, as above.
Maestro David Norell explains: "At last there exists a
Theatrical Company [Excalibur] specializing in Fantasy
material." (Ken Campbell WILL be pleased.) "May the Kadark
never ravish your homeland!" (A sentiment one can but echo.)
SILICON 9, 23-26 Aug, Grosvenor Hotel, Newcastle. #5 att;
nine different room rates, from #8.90 in a labour camp to
#29.90 for your entire family including in-laws. 14 Eskdale
Tce, Jesmond, Newcastle upon Tyne, NE2 4DN. Heavy breathing
welcomed on (091) 2814607 after 6pm and before 3am...
FANTASYCON, 6-8 Sept, Royal Angus Hotel, Birmingham: GoH
Rob Holdstock, MC Charles L.Grant. #1.50 supp #9 att (BFS
members #8); all rooms #17/person/night. "Has gained the
reputation of `The Professionals' Convention'", says the
flyer, but I believe fans are admitted if they dress nicely.
130 Park View, Wembley, Middlesex, HA9 6JU.
CAMCON (Unicon 6), 13-15 Sept, New Hall, Cambridge.
Details as last issue; GoH announced as John Christopher.
EUROCON 85, 1-6 Oct, scheduled for Riga, USSR, has been
axed on the unlikely ground of "lack of meeting rooms". The
political climate is generally blamed; possibly it was leaking
through the meeting rooms' roofs.
ALBACON III is the '86 Eastercon: Central Hotel, Glasgow.
#6 att (for now); twin/dbl rooms #12.50/person (#16.50 with
bath). 80 Hillington Gdns, Glasgow, G52 2TP. GoH: well, Vince
Docherty rang to ask if I knew Stephen King's address...
EASTERCON '87: to be voted at Albacon III. (Likewise
Eastercon '88 if the recommendation, made at Yorcon is
upheld.) Two bids so far... Beccon '87 is run by the usual
mob: #1 pre-supp to 191 The Heights, Northolt, Middlesex, UB5
4BU; of terrific subcutaneous ructions owing to Beccon's
original alleged plan to announce their venue before the
Yorcon voting and thus "sabotage Contravention": happily they
thought better of it.) Little is known of the rival Harrogate
bid save that Ron Bennett and the fake Bob Shaw are involved.
Cons make strange bedfellows.
WORLDCON '88: the New Orleans bid is seeking a British
agent, notes Linda Pickersgill, who personally "declined due
to the fact that it would put me in contact with Guy Lillian,
a name, face and personality that I try to avoid as much as
possible." Anyone less timorous and more eager for limitless
future fame and power (albeit no spare time) should contact
John Guidry, Box 8010, New Orleans, LA 70182, USA.
BSFA open meetings, for those who didn't get a scrawled
correction last issue, are in the COOPERS (not Troopers) Arms.
And "organizer Judith Hanna" was an easy-to-make misprint for
"organizers Nick Trant & Roy Macinski".
OH GAWD,MORE AWARDS
William Gibson's NEUROMANCER is doing nicely: Nebula award as
Best 1984 Novel, Ditmar (Australia) as Best International
Fiction, P.K.Dick Award as Best Paperback Original...
Accepting the last ($1000 and a Calligraphed Thing), Mr Gibson
reportedly mused on Spider Robinson's habit of bringing his
awards to conventions and inviting fans to see them: "I'll be
able to say, Would you like to come up to my room and see my
Dick?" Dick runner-up: Kim Stanley Robinson's THE WILD SHORE.
Further Ditmars went to BEAST OF HEAVEN by Victor
Kellaher (Best Aussie Novel) and Merv Binns's AUSTRALIAN SF
NEWS as Best Australian SF News. THYME (our info source) got a
bit derisive after this, noting that only about 20 people
voted, that no one knew what Bruce Gillespie had actually got
his Best Editor of 1984 award FOR, and that the Atheling Award
-- won by George Turner's autobiography IN THE HEART OR IN THE
HEAD -- is rather supposed to be for SF CRITICISM. Oops.
As for the remaining Nebulas, my ace newshounds were
distracted by far more interesting fisticuffs, as Harlan
Ellison smote Charles Platt for his snide comments about the
(now) late Larry Shaw. Mere awards could not compete.
C.O.A
KEN BROWN, Flat 4, 29 Davigdor Rd, Hove :: AVEDON CAROL (as of
29 May), 9a Greenleaf Rd, East Ham, London, E6 1DX :: BENEDICT
S.CULLUM, 18 Valley Rd, Rickmansworth, Herts, WD3 4DS :: NEIL
GAIMAN, 73 High St, East Grinstead, West Sussex, RH19 3DD ::
WILLIAM T GOODALL & ALISON HASTON, 2 Spark Tce, Cove,
Aberdeen, AB1 4ND :: ROELOF GOUDRIAAN, Noordwal 2, 2573 EA Den
Haag, Netherlands :: STEVE & LEAH HIGGINS, 200 Basingstoke Rd,
Reading, Berks, RG2 0HH :: LUCY HUNTZINGER (who promises not
to move again for a whole year), 2315 Bush St, San Francisco,
CA 94115, USA :: PAUL HURTLEY, 270 Winthrop Ave, New Haven,
CT 06511, USA :: BOB JEWETT, 105 Craigton Rd, Gowan, Glasgow
:: ROBIN JOHNSON, 30 Mona St, Battery Point, TAS 7000,
Australia :: KEN JOSENHANS, PO Box 191, East Lansing, MI
48823, USA :: MIKE LEWIS, 4 Smallman St, Stafford, Staffs,
ST16 3PF :: BRUCE J MACDONALD, 23 Leslie Cres, Ayr, Scotland
:: MIKE MOLLOY, 301 Langlands Rd, Drumoyne, Glasgow, G51 ::
KEITH & KRYSTYNA OBORN, Bishops Cottage, Park House Lane,
Reading, RG3 2AH :: LINDA PICKERSGILL (temporary, May-July),
c/o Arthur Krawecke, 8508 Dumonte St, Metairie, LA 70003, USA
:: PETER PINTO, 80 Eastham St, Lancaster, LA1 3AY :: JIMMY
ROBERTSON & ANNE WARREN, 62 North End Rd, Golders Green,
London, NW.11 :: PETER SINGLETON, 5 St Andrew's Rd, Claughton,
Birkenhead, L43 1TB :: FRAN SKENE & WILLIAM C.S. AFFLECK ASCH
LOWE (it says here), 302-2326 Eton St, Vancouver, BC, Canada
V5L 1E1 :: SUE THOMASON, 1 Merrick Sq, Dolgellau, Gwynedd,
LL40 1LT :: NICK WEATHERHEAD, `GAFIAH', Kinlochbervie, via
Lairg, Sutherland, Scotland ("I have bought an Hotel near to
Cape Wrath. After 30 years in the book trade I need a
change!") :: MARGARET WELBANK & NICK LOWE. 52 Mansfield Rd,
London, NW3 2HT :: CHERRY WILDER, 19 Egelsbacher Str, D-6070
Langen/Hessen, W Germany :: ALEX ZBYSLAW, 197 Herbert Ave,
Poole, Dorset, BH12 4HR ::
PAUL BARNETT HAS FUN AT THE FAIR
This year's London Book Fair (10-12 April) was excitingly
different from those held in previous years, in that to a
large extent it was dead as a dodo. Most people realized this
on the opening Wednesday and so didn't bother attending the
rest of it; your correspondent, by contrast with the rest of
the sheep, turned up on the Thursday.
Actually, it was a shame. Most companies exhibiting had
decided this year that it would make more financial sense not
to bother sending editorial people, so stands were staffed by
hardbitten sales types. Unfortunately, booksellers and
librarians, presumably having discovered last year that the
only exhibitors were editorial people who didn't know how to
take their stock orders, stayed away in droves. So the halls
were filled with sales people responding "No, sorry, our
editor isn't here. Say, would you like to buy a copy of..."
The only mass-market paperbackers who seemed there in
strength were Corgi (on the Bantam stand) and Sphere (on the
Oh shit we've just been taken over by Penguin stand: Penguin
themselves didn't have a stand). Also recently taken over by
Penguin were Rainbird, on whose stand Maxim Jakubowski was in
fine fettle. He told me the takeover made no differences
except good ones, and contrived to seem remarkably pleased
about it all. Already the Rainbird list has a slightly more
skiffy-ish look to it than in days of yore.
High point was the New Era stand, whose sole project on
display was BATTLEFIELD EARTH -- the paperback hits the
bookshops on 6 June. As if that wasn't enough to make your
gonads atrophy, New Era also displayed the album of the
soundtrack of the book, composed by El Ron himself using
"tomorrow's state-of-the-art computers" and featuring "top
recording artists Chick Corea [no relation of Huntington, one
assumes], Gayle Moran, Nicky Hopkins and Stanley Clarke".
Well, I've heard of Nicky Hopkins. The soundtrack itself --
"This is the first book to have a musical soundtrack!", for
some reason -- resembles 1960s musak, which no doubt shows
that aesthetic taste is cyclical... Moreover "BATTLEFIELD
EARTH is being made into TWO multi-million dollar movies.
Directed by internationally acclaimed Ken Annakin... produced
by William Immerman, senior executive on the STAR WARS
production." Wow!
I missed the episode in which a twelve-foot Psychlo posed
with a scantily clad blonde outside the Barbican in high winds
and sub-zero temperatures, but was able to watch it on video
later. Actually, I wonder if someone at New Era isn't likely
to be cast into outer darkness without even an E-meter. Can
one detect a trace of irony in the publicity puff: "Terl, the
alien Psychlo... enjoyed enormous popularity during his tours
promoting the hardback release. But his ego was not satisfied
-- now he plans an even bigger comeback..."
This years winner of my annual Great Idea For An
International Coedition Someone Had At An Editorial Meeting
And Nobody Ever Got Around To Stomping On It award was found
on the Blandford stand. A fat, lavishly produced book, it was
called NATIONAL ANTHEMS OF THE WORLD. Finally, exclusive
confirmation from Arrow's Nick Webb (while choking on a sticky
bun) to your correspondent that it was not he who invented the
generic description "a cocaine and blow-job novel". [PB]
ALL THE MYRIAD FAN FUNDS
TAFF constitutional revisions were hammered out in a
practically smoke-filled room at Yorcon, containing enough
present and past administrators to have changed the course of
the simultaneous '86 Eastercon voting (see above -- a fact
which did not go unnoticed by the Contravention committee as
they subsequently poured beer over me). Upshot: future winners
probably need to pick up a minimal 20% of final (adjusted)
votes in both Europe and N America. If no one evinces such
multi-continental appeal, the victor is presumably deemed to
be `Hold Over Funds'. (Pete Presford comments, as at one stage
did I, that no one objected when Justin "You Don't Know Me --
I Don't Know You" Ackroyd came over and, in the event, won all
hearts as GUFF delegate. But the massed TAFF sages felt that
being known in the host country was very much part of TAFF's
ancient, unwritten tradition.)
GUFF results are probably in an enclosed flyer, but in
summary: Eve Harvey 42 UK votes, 25 Aussie, total 67; John
Jarrold 22, 1, 23; write-ins for Martha Beck (1), Roelof
Goudriaan (3) and Paul Skelton (1). Eve will thus travel to
Aussiecon in Melbourne later this year, together with famous
husband and chattel John.
DUFF results are definitely not in an enclosed flyer, so
no need to mention them... hang on a minute. Marty & Robbie
Cantor get the big chance to meet the Harveys (plus incidental
perks such as Aussiecon); after an Australian ballot running
to five counts the figures boggle the brain, but Mike
Glicksohn was the last contender to be eliminated, preceded by
Joni Stopa, before whom rich brown (sic) bit the dust. Minimal
votes went to `Hold Over Funds' and four write-ins: John
Bangsund, Bill the Cat, Martha Beck, Dana Siegel.
SEFF: Old news now... nervous Jim Barker was belatedly
persuaded by Swedish admirers to stand against Steve Green and
Hans-Juergen Mader as an, er, "official write-in candidate",
with a plug for him on the reprinted ballot. The trip is to
Swecon in August; there may be time to rush 50p and a vote for
your favourite by 1 June to Colin Fine, 205 Coldham's Lane,
Cambridge, CB1 3HY.
INFINITELY IMPROBABLE
PLAGIARISM SHOCK! John Dallman forwards an entry from
I.F.Clarke's skiffy bibliography THE TALE OF THE FUTURE
(1961): "[1914] Anonymous (Carrel, F.) 2010. T.W.Laurie, 249p.
A super-scientist leads the world towards peace and happiness: