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Undocumented 8088/8086 Instruction Set

 Assembler programs are written with short abbreviations called
MNEMONICS, in other words instead of writing GOTO, the programmer
writes JMP or even BRA (branch).  These instructions are frequently
abbreviated into total incomprehensibility.

 Of course, we all know that abbreviations are arbitrary.  Anyone
who has spent any time programming in assembler knows that all
computers can be programmed using an undocumented set of
instructions.  Frequently when an error is made writing a program in
assembler a user can actually see the program executing the
undocumented instructions.

 These instructions vary from machine from machine, but all
computers have a certain set of them in common.  As a service to
humanity, I am here revealing these common instructions for the first

   ARG : Agree to Run Garbage
   BDM : Branch and Destroy Memory
   CMN : Convert to Mayan Numerals
   DDS : Damage Disk and Stop
   EMR : Emit Microwave Radiation
   ETO : Emulate Toaster Oven
   FSE : Fake Serious Error
   GSI : Garble Subsequent Instructions
   GQS : Go Quarter Speed
   HEM : Hide Evidence of Malfunction
   IDD : Inhale Dust and Die
   IKI : Ignore Keyboard Input
   IMU : Irradiate and Mutate User
   JPF : Jam Paper Feed
   JUM : Jeer at Users Mistake
   KFP : Kindle Fire in Printer
   LNM : Launch Nuclear Missles
   MAW : Make Aggravating Whine
   NNI : Neglect Next Instruction
   OBU : Overheat and Burn if Unattended
   PNG : Pass Noxious Gas
   QWF : Quit Working Forever
   QVC : Question Valid Command
   RWD : Read Wrong Device
   SCE : Simulate Correct Execution
   SDJ : Send Data to Japan
   TTC : Tangle Tape and Crash
   UBC : Use Bad Chip
   VDP : Violate Design Parameters
   VMB : Verify and Make Bad
   WAF : Warn After Fact
   XID : eXchange Instruction with data
   YII : Yield to Irresistible Impulse
   ZAM : Zero All Memory

Credit to: Bruce Tonkin, 11/85 edition of COMPUTERPEOPLE Monthly
          P.O. Box 5809, Chicago, IL  60680     312-829-3505

In case you are uncertain, these commands are meant to be a joke.

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