Сборники Художественной, Технической, Справочной, Английской, Нормативной, Исторической, и др. литературы.

Уголовные дела телетрейд в отношении teletrade не возбуждено одного уголовного дела.

                     The Way It Goes Sometimes...


Patrick's Theorem
   If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.

Skinners's Constant
   That quanity which, when multiplied times, divided by, added to, or
   subtracted from your answer ... gives you the answer you should have

Horners's Five Thumb Postulate
   Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Flagle's Law of the Perversity of Inanimate Objects
   Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may
   be expected to perform ... at any time ... in a totally unexpected manor,
   for reasons that are obsure or else completely mysterious.

Allen's Axiom
   When all else fails, read the directions.

The Spare Parts Principle
   The accessibility, during recovery, of small parts which fall from the
   work bench, varies directly with the size of the part, and inversely with
   its importance to the completion of the work underway.

The Compensation Corollary
   The experiment may be considered a success if no more than 50% of the
   observed measurments must be discarded to obtain a correspondence with

Gumperson's Law
   The probability of a given event occuring is inversely proportional to
   its desirability.

The Ordering Principle
   Those supplies needed for yesterday's experiment must be ordered no later
   than tomorrow noon.

The Ultimate Principle
   By definition, when you are investigating the unkown you do not know what
   you will find.

The Futility Factor
   No experiment is ever a complete failure ... It can always serve as as a
   bad example.

Airplane Law
   When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is
   on time.

Allison's Precept
   The best simple-minded test of expertise in a particular area is the
   ability to win money in a series of bets on future occurrences in that

Anderson's Law
   Any system or program, however complicated, if looked at in exactly the
   right way, will become even more complicated.

Anthony's Law of Force
   Don't force it, get a larger hammer.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop
   Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the
 Corollary - On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always
   strike your toes.

Army Axiom
   Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.

Axiom of the Pipe. (Trischmann's Paradox)
   A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in
   his mouth.

Baker's Law
   Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Barber's Laws of Backpacking
   1)  The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop
       trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
   2)  Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient
       to exactly the point of most pressure.
   3)  The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount
       of food you consume from it.  If you run out of food, the pack weight
       goes on increasing anyway.
   4)  The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the
       number of hours you have been on the trail.
   5)  The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly
       proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing to find
   6)  The size of each of the stones in your boot is directly proportional
       to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
   7)  The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as
       twilight approaches.
   8)  The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the
       number of hours you have been on the trail.
   9)  When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.
   10) If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.
   11) The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your
       remaining repellent.

Barth's Distinction
   There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types,
   and those who don't.

Boren's First Law
   When in doubt, mumble.

Brook's Law
   Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Barzun's Laws of Learning
   1)  The simple but difficult arts of paying attention, copying
       accurately, following an argument, detecting an ambiguity or a false
       inference, testing guesses by summoning up contrary instances,
       organizing one's time and one's thought for study - all these arts -
       cannot be taught in the air but only through the difficulties of a
       defined subject. They cannot be taught in one course or one year, but
       must be acquired gradually in dozens of connections.
   2)  The analogy to athletics must be pressed until all recognize that in
       the exercise of Intellect those who lack the muscles, coordination,
       and will power can claim no place at the training table, let alone on
       the playing field.

Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws
   1)  That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught
   2)  If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.

Decaprio's Rule
   Everything takes more time and money.

Dijkstra's Law of Programming Inertia
   If you don't know what your program is supposed to do, you'd better not
   start writing it.

Etorre's Observation
   The other line moves faster.

First Maxim of Computers
   To err is human, but to really screw things up requires a computer.

Gallois's Revelation
   If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes back out but
   tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive
   machine, is somehow ennobled, and no one dares to criticize it.
 Corollary - An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while
   sweeping on to the Grand Fallacy.

Glib's Laws of Reliability
   1.  Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable.
 Corollary - At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer
       you will find at least two human errors, including the error of
       blaming it on the computer.
   2.  Any system which relies on human reliability is unreliable.
   3.  The only difference between the fools and the criminal who attacks a
       system is that the fool attacks unpredictably and on a broader front.
   4.  A system tends to grow in terms of complexity rather than
       simplification, until the resulting unreliability becomes
   5.  Self-checking systems tend to have a complexity in proportion to the
       inherent unreliability of the system in which they are used.
   6.  The error detection and correction capabilities of a system will
       serve as the key to understanding the types of error which they
       cannot handle.
   7.  Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to
       detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
   8.  All real programs contain errors unless proven otherwise, which is
   9.  Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable
       cost of errors, or until somebody insists on getting some useful work

The Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences
   Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

Golub's Laws of Computerdom
   1.  Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrassment of
       estimating the corresponding costs.
   2.  A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete
       than expected; if carefully planned, it will take only twice as long.
   3.  The effort required to correct course increases geometrically with
   4.  Project teams detest weekly progress reporting because it so vividly
       manifests their lack of progress.

Goodin's Law of Conversions
   The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and

Gordon's First Law
   If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing

Gray's Law of Programming
   N+1 trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in the same time as N
   trivial tasks.
 Loggs Rebuttal - N+1 trivial tasks take twice as long as N trivial tasks
   for N sufficiently large.

Grosch's Law
   Computer power increases as the square of the costs.  If you want to do
   it twice as cheaply, you have to do it four times as fast.

Halpern's Observation
   The tendancy to err that programmers have been noticed to share with
   other human beings has often been treated as if it were an awkwardness
   attendant upon programming's adolescence, which (like acne) would
   disappear with the craft's coming of age.  It has proved otherwise.

Hoare's Law of Large Programs
   Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

Howe's Law
   Every man has a scheme that will not work.

IBM Pollyanna Principle
   Machines should work.  People should think.

Laws of Computability as Applied to Social Science
   1.  Any system or program, however complicated, if looked at in exactly
       the right way, will become even more complicated.
   2.  If at first you don't succeed, transform your data set.

Laws of Computer Programming
   1.  Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
   2.  Any given program costs more and takes longer.
   3.  If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
   4.  If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
   5.  Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
   6.  The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
   7.  Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
       programmer who must maintain it.
   8.  Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and
       you will discover that programmers cannot write in English.
   9.  Software is hard.  Hardware is soft.  It is economically more
       feasible to build a computer than to program it.
   10. An operating system is a feeble attempt to include what was
       overlooked in the design of a programming language.

Law of Selective Gravity
   An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
 Jenning's Corollary - The chance of the bread falling with the buttered
   side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Lubarsky's Law of Cybernetic Entomology
   There's always one more bug.

Paperboy's rule of Weather
   No matter how clear the skies are, a thunderstorm will move in 5 minutes
   after the papers are delivered.

Project scheduling "99" rule
   The first 90 percent of the task takes 10 percent of the time.  The last
   10 percent takes the other 90 percent.

Sattlinger's Law
   It works better if you plug it in.

Segal's Law
   A man with one watch knows what time it is.  A man with two watches is
   never sure.

Shaw's Principle
   Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use

Troutman's Programming Postilates
   1.  If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems
       will malfunction.
   2.  Not until a program has been in production for at least six months
       will the most harmful error be discovered.
   3.  Job control cards that positively cannot be arranged in proper order
       will be.
   4.  Interchangeable tapes won't.
   5.  If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an
       ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
   6.  Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

The Unspeakable Law
   As soon as you mention something ... if it's good, it goes away; if it's
   bad, it happens.

Weinberg's Law
   If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the
   first woodpecker that came along would destroy society as we know it.
 Corollary - An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while
   sweeping on to the Grand Fallacy.

Яндекс цитирования