ЭЛЕКТРОННАЯ БИБЛИОТЕКА КОАПП
Сборники Художественной, Технической, Справочной, Английской, Нормативной, Исторической, и др. литературы.


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BULB JOKES



1.   How many Vampires does it take to change a lght bulb?
         Only one but he has to bite it three times.
2.   How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
         None.  I'll just sit here in the dark and suffer!
3.   How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
         Only one but it really has to want to change.
4.   How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
         None.  It's a hardware problem.
5.   How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light
    bulb?
         None.  It's obviously a source-code problem
6.   How many straight San Fransiscans does it take to change a
    light bulb?
         Both of them.
7.   How many environmentalists does it take to change a light
    bulb?
         Eleven.  One to change the bulb and ten to write the
              environmental impact study.
8.   How many MBA's does it take to change a light bulb?
         Only one.  He holds it up and the world revolves around
              him.
9.   How many Yuppies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
         Everyone knows Yuppies only screw in hot tubs!
10.  How many Chihuahua's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
         None.  Chihuahua's can't screw without human
              intervention.
11.  How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
         Chair.
12.  How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb?
         Two. One to change the bulb and one to not change the
              bulb.
13   How many qualified {company name} engineers does it take to
    change a light bulb.
         There are not enough qualified {company name} engineers
              to change a light bulb.
14.  How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?
         Three.  One to hold the bulb and two to turn the
ladder.
15.  How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to change a
light bulb?
         Two.  One to call the electrician and one to pour the
              diet coke
16.  How many Scadians does it take to change a candle?
         Only one if he is fat enough and you render him long
              enough.  ( SCA = Society of Creative Anachronisms.
              they recreate Medieval battles with swords and
              armor.)
17.  How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
         50.  One to change the bulb and 49 to share the
              experience.
18.  How do you get Mr T to change a light bulb?
         "I pity the fool who thinks I am gonna change a light
              bulb!"
19.  How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
         Three.  One to change the light bulb.
20.  How many Light Beer Brewers does it take to change a light
    bulb?
         One third less than it does to change a regular bulb
21.  How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb.
         11.  "Its in the contract, got a problem with that?"
22.  How many Mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
         Only one.  He references it to the teamsters and it
              devolves into the previous joke.
23.  How many Economists does it take to change a light bulb?
         15.  One to change the bulb and 14 to write the paper
              on the socio-economic changes caused by changing
              the light bulb.
24.  Why does it take two women with PMS to change a light bulb?
         "BECAUSE IT DOES, DAMNIT!"
25.  How many Anti-abortionists does it take to change a light
    bulb?
         Six. One to change the bulb and five to attest that
              light began at the onset of screwing
26.  How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
         It depends on how much insurance the bulb has.

                     STAR TREK BULB JOKES!
75.  How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?
         All of them.
76.  How many Ferrengi does it take to change a light bulb?
         Ferrengi don't change light bulbs, they sell them.
              (42nd rule of acquisition!)
77.  How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb?
         Only one but he needs a Bajoran work deatil to perform
              the labor.
78.  How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb?
         Two.  One to change the bulb and one to attest the
               original bulb died with honor!
79.  How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?
         None.  It has to be a federation trap!
80.  How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb?
         "One.  It is not logical to waste manpower.
81.  How many Q does it take to change a light bulb?
         "Light bulb? What in the hell is a light bulb?"

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