BULB JOKES1. How many Vampires does it take to change a lght bulb? Only one but he has to bite it three times. 2. How many Jewish Mothers does it take to change a light bulb? None. I'll just sit here in the dark and suffer! 3. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it really has to want to change. 4. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem. 5. How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's obviously a source-code problem 6. How many straight San Fransiscans does it take to change a light bulb? Both of them. 7. How many environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb? Eleven. One to change the bulb and ten to write the environmental impact study. 8. How many MBA's does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. He holds it up and the world revolves around him. 9. How many Yuppies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Everyone knows Yuppies only screw in hot tubs! 10. How many Chihuahua's does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Chihuahua's can't screw without human intervention. 11. How many Surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Chair. 12. How many Taoists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to not change the bulb. 13 How many qualified {company name} engineers does it take to change a light bulb. There are not enough qualified {company name} engineers to change a light bulb. 14. How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to hold the bulb and two to turn the ladder. 15. How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to call the electrician and one to pour the diet coke 16. How many Scadians does it take to change a candle? Only one if he is fat enough and you render him long enough. ( SCA = Society of Creative Anachronisms. they recreate Medieval battles with swords and armor.) 17. How many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb? 50. One to change the bulb and 49 to share the experience. 18. How do you get Mr T to change a light bulb? "I pity the fool who thinks I am gonna change a light bulb!" 19. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb. 20. How many Light Beer Brewers does it take to change a light bulb? One third less than it does to change a regular bulb 21. How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb. 11. "Its in the contract, got a problem with that?" 22. How many Mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. He references it to the teamsters and it devolves into the previous joke. 23. How many Economists does it take to change a light bulb? 15. One to change the bulb and 14 to write the paper on the socio-economic changes caused by changing the light bulb. 24. Why does it take two women with PMS to change a light bulb? "BECAUSE IT DOES, DAMNIT!" 25. How many Anti-abortionists does it take to change a light bulb? Six. One to change the bulb and five to attest that light began at the onset of screwing 26. How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on how much insurance the bulb has. STAR TREK BULB JOKES! 75. How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb? All of them. 76. How many Ferrengi does it take to change a light bulb? Ferrengi don't change light bulbs, they sell them. (42nd rule of acquisition!) 77. How many Cardassians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he needs a Bajoran work deatil to perform the labor. 78. How many Klingons does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to attest the original bulb died with honor! 79. How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb? None. It has to be a federation trap! 80. How many Vulcans does it take to change a light bulb? "One. It is not logical to waste manpower. 81. How many Q does it take to change a light bulb? "Light bulb? What in the hell is a light bulb?" |